I yawn widely, leaning on Sam as we walk to another crappy motel room. I was exhausted from our day' events and all I wanted to do was fall asleep on a lumpy matress that smelled of god knows what, with Sam rolling over and kicking me in the middle of the night.

"Home crappy home" Dean muttered as he unlocked the door. Sam flicked the lights on to see Castiel and Uriel inside of our room.

"Winchesters" Uriel says in a monotone

"Oh come on" I mumble, pushing through them to sit on my bed.

"You're needed"

"Needed?" Dean asked, getting pissed already "We just got back from needed"

"Now, you mind your tone with me." Uriel says

"No, you mind your damn tone with us." Dean spat

"We just got back from Pamela's funeral." Sam said, flexing his shoulders in that way he does when he's upset.

"Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her? Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times. Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freaking minutes!" Dean yelled.

"We raised you out of hell for our purposes." Uriel said evenly

"Yeah, what were those again? What exactly did you want from me?"

"Start with gratitude."

"Dean, we know this is difficult to understand." Cas interjects

"And we-" Cas gives Uriel a look "-don't care. Now, seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight."

"Demons? How they doing it?" I asked, rubbing my forehead to try to stay awake.

"We don't know"

"I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?" Sam says, folding his arms over his chest.

"We can handle the demons, thank you very much." Uriel says indifferently

"Once we find whoever it is" Cas chips in

"So you need our help hunting a demon?" Dean asks, raising his eyebrows, I stand up and walk over to Dean's side. He needed back up in this.

"Not quite. We have Alastair"

"Great. He should be able to name your trigger man."

"But he won't talk. Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse."

"Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league."

"That's why we've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got." Uriel says and I have to hold back the growl building in my throat. Dean looks down, I slip my hand into him, squeezing so tight I feel like I'll break my wrist.

"Dean, you are our best hope" Cas says

"No. No way." I say, he looks at me with a pained expression "You can't ask this, Cas. Not this." I practically beg, Uriel advances on me and Dean.

"Who said anything about asking?"

x

I'm sat on and old stair case, practically rocking back and forth at the situation and what Dean's about to do, I'm only half listening to what Dean and Cas are saying.

"This devil's trap is old Enochian. He's bound completely."

"Fascinating" Dean says sarcastically, he walks over and grabs my hand, pulling me to my feet and pushing me behind him in his protective way.

"Where's the door?"

"Where are you going?"

"Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much"

Dean pulls me past Uriel and towards the door but he steps into our path.

"Angels are dying, boy" he says venomously

"Everyone's dying these days" I say, my voice cracking in a way that made me seem weak

"hey, I get it." Dean starts "You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want. But you can't make me do this."

"This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it." Cas says, I look at him.

"Cas, please" I say, his eyes flicker away from mine in a guilt sticken way. Dean looks from Cas, to me, then to Uriel.

"We want to talk to Cas alone" Dean says to Uriel

"I think I'll go seek revelation. We might have some further orders."

"Well, get some donuts while you're out." I mutter

"Ah, these Winchesters, they just won't wont will they? I think I'm starting to like you, girl." Uriel laughs and I stare at him while he vanishes.

"You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby." Dean says but Cas doesn't even react "You know, I'm starting to think junkless has a better sense of humor than you do."

"Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone." Cas says, and I roll my eyes. Smiling on the inside at his innocent comment. Dean walks up to him, still holding my hand and pulling me with him.

"What's going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?" I ask, letting go of Dean's hand and stepping in front of him. Feeling more comfortable without Uriel here.

"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies."

"Your sympathies?"

"I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express... feelings. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment." I don't know wwhether to smile at that staement or not so my lips sort of twitch awkwardly as he keeps his gaze locked on mine, Dean interrupts-

"Well, tell Uriel, or whoever...you do not want me doing this, trust me."

"Want it, no. But I have been told we need it."

"You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out."

"For what it's worth, I would give anything not to have you do this."

I'm sat on the steps later, being forced to listen to everyone of Alastairs screams and knowing it's my brother who's causing it. Cas sits next to me and I sigh, resting my forehead in my hand.

"I am truly sorry Jordan, but it is required"

"Tell it to someone who can do something about it" I grumble

"You are angry at me?" Cas asks and I let of a cold laugh

"Just a tiny bit, yeah" I say, a slight edge in my voice "My brother is through there torturing a demon, every part of this would remind him of hell and all you can pull out of your ass is 'I'm sorry' It's too little, too late"

Cas doesn't say anything after that, I listen to Alastair scream again and involuntarily flinch. I wish Sammy was here. I take a sidewards glace at Cas and sigh, giving in. I rest my head on his shoulder. He seems to be awkward in this situation but I feel his arm go round my shoulders inevitabley.

"Who was Ross?" he asks suddenly, I smile, he's trying to take my mind off it.

"My best friend" I sigh "I went hunting in Lawrence once, and he followed me. He was always a curious bastard, got himself killed in the end." I suck in a shaky breath "It was my fault."

"It was anything but your fault Jordan" Cas says, I smile.

"Thanks Cas"

"I used to never believe in this monster crap" I say, wanting to talk over the blood curdling screams coming from the next room "Used to think my dad was off on business trips and that Dean was lying out his ass about demons and ghosts and, well, everything my life has become"

"when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" Cas says and I chuckle

"Did you just quote Sherlock Holmes?" I said, looking up at him, he smiles slightly

"I'm surprised you were familiar with that quote"

"I'm just full of surprises" I smirk, I look at him lips then back to his eyes. I would have leaaned into kiss him if I had not realised how silent it was, we were about an inch apart when whispered

"Is it just me, or is it too quiet?" I whisper urgently. I throw myself from the stairs and run into the room, Alastair had a broken and bloody Dean against a wall, punching him repeatedly. Cas is already there. Alastair turns to see him and he jabs Ruby's knife into him. It doesn't kill him, but it would have hurt like a bitch.

"Well, almost. Looks like God is on my side today." Alastair smirked weakly, Cas moved his hand slightly and the knife twisted in his chest. Alastair grunted in pain and pulled out the knife.

"Well, like roaches, you celestials. Now, I really wish I knew how to kill you. But all I can do is send you back to heaven." he says before chanting in Latin, blue light starts to pour from Cas's eyes and mouth. For lack of a better option go to grab Ruby's knife but Alastair starting to choke stopped me. Sam has arrived and is holding his hand out to Alastair. Cas slumps to the ground and I drop beside him, lifting his head up so he's look at me, his blue eyes half closed. I slap him lightly on the face

"come one Cas, you lazy sun of a bitch" I say

"That's slightly rude" he mumbles and I chuckle lightly.

Meanwhile Sam is yelling and choking Alastair with his mind "How are the demons killing angels?"

"It's not us. We're not doing it."

"I don't believe you."

"Lilith is not behind this. She wouldn't kill seven angels. Oh, she'd kill a hundred, a thousand." Sam stops, his brows furrowing together at this information "Oh, go ahead. Send me back, if you can."

"I'm stronger than that now. Now I can kill."

Sam holds out his hand and a gold light flares inside Alastair as he screams, his vessel then collapses to the floor in a heap.

I'm sat in the chair next to Dean's hosptial bed, his breathing tube is gone but he's out like a light. I'm aimlessly swirling about an inch of cold cofee in a plastic cup. A small gust of wind on my face makes me look up, Cas is standing in the room.

"Are you all right?" he asks softly

"I'll live" I sigh, looking at Dean "I'm not the one you should be worrying about"

"You need to be more careful."

"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap."

"That's not what I mean. Uriel is dead."

"Was it the demons?"

"It was disobedience. He was working against us."

"Is it true? Did Dean break the first seal? Did he start all this?" I practically whisper, looking at him, peacefully asleep.

"Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plan for him, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to him before he—"

"Jump-started the apocalypse."

"And we were too late."

"Why didn't you just leave him there?" I say harshly

"It's not blame that falls on Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You and your brothers have to stop it."

"Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean?" I say, he sighs and I can tell he's about tofly off "Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean"

"I don't know."

"Bull."

"I don't. Jordan, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you and Sam and Dean."

"Well, then you guys are screwed. We can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. He's not all here." I sigh heavily "I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the person either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me."

I can feel tears spilling from my eyes and I laugh at myself, brushing them away.

"I'm sorry" Cas says softly, he leans down, brushing his lips on my forehead. Then came the rustle of wings and he was gone.

A/N -there you go bros! New chapter update that I was writing at 4am last night, so sorry if it's crap. I put some more Jardiel in there, as promised. It will be more later, you'll see! Review and all the usual drill! -Char xo