My first Oneshot done! Whew! I thought that I'd have this done by last night, but it turned out longer than I expected. I bet I could have turned this into a multi-chapter story if I wanted to, but I promised several people a Oneshot, so here it is!

As it says in the summary, this is in a dimension where the NERDS are apparently pirates. Set before The Cheerleaders of Doom.


=Line break/Time skip

Read and Review, please!

Warning: Language, blood, death, and terrible accents ahead.



The harsh voice cut through Matilda's dream.

"UP, I said!"

Matilda decided to ignore it. She rolled over and pulled her dagger closer to her chest. It had been a gift from the Captain, that dagger, and Matilda never went anywhere without it.

Something sharp prodded her neck. "Up, Shark Bait!" The voice snapped.

Matilda opened one eye and turned a withering glare on the speaker. Only one person had ever dared to call her Shark Bait, and he was standing over her with a scowl and a sword. "Who're ya calling Shark Bait, Jackie?" She snarled.

Jackson growled and prodded her neck again, harder than before. "Don't call me Jackie, windbag," he warned. "I can make things a lot worse for ya."

What? Matilda blinked in confusion, forgetting her anger for the moment. Worse for me? Did I do something wrong?

She shook it off. It was probably a slip of the tongue. "What do ya want, ye son of a snake?"

Jackson grinned. He hadn't been here all that long. He used to be part of an enemy ship, but the Captain decided to let him join. After all, the rest of the crew he was on were killed or disappeared, so it was either that or kill him, and he was a decent fighter. Not like the rest of that ship. "Cap'n Ruby sent me to get ya. She wants to see ya for some bloody reason or another." His smile now looked more sinister than cocky. He pulled his sword back some. "Hell knows I don't want to be on the receiving end of her wrath should I bring ya up late."

Matilda frowned for a fraction of a second, then smirked. "Are ye late yet?" She asked.

Jackson shrugged. "Let's go find out, shall we?" He pulled his sword back all the way to let Matilda get up.

A hatch swung open -Matilda had been sleeping belowdeck, after all- and Brand's ragged head popped in. "Do ya have the lass?" He asked.

Jackson nodded. "Aye. We were making our way up now." He gave Matilda a sharp poke with his sword. "Get moving."

Matilda felt annoyed. She was the first mate and they were treating her like a prisoner! "Watch it, Jackson!" She snapped. "I could have ya on yer back begging for mercy quicker than ye can blink!"

Brand snorted. "Well, hurry it up! Captain's waiting!" He pulled his head up but left the hatch open.

Both she and Jackson went over to it. "Ladies first!" Jackson sneered.

Matilda rolled her eyes, but she grabbed hold of the ladder and climbed up, with Jackson following. Once she was on deck, Matilda looked around. It was barely dawn! Why would the Captain want to see her right now?

Jackson appeared right next to her. He gestured at the helm, where most of the crew was gathered. Matilda began to feel uneasy. Most of the people there weren't usually up at this hour! The last time they were...

"Well?" Jackson asked. "Captain is waiting."

Matilda resisted the urge to run him through with her dagger. Instead, she swallowed and made her way to the helm. Ruby was indeed waiting, watching Matilda through narrowed eyes.

Matilda gave a curt bow. "Ye called, m'lady?" She said, trying to keep her fear and annoyance out of her voice.

The Captain didn't answer. Instead, she waited until Matilda was very close, then addressed the two figures -Duncan and Flinch- behind her. "Truss her up!" She ordered. They both nodded, though neither looked very happy about it. As they approached her, someone else grabbed her from behind. Matilda bucked and kicked, trying to free herself, but to no avail.

Satisfied that she wasn't going anywhere, the two boys went to work. In no time, she was wrapped in a maze of ropes and knots. Fortunately, they didn't notice her dagger and made no attempt to remove it, so Matilda made no attempt to remind them.

Alex Brand grinned as he stomped up behind her, that cursed metal leg of his making a racket on the wood.

"What's this, Captain Peet?" Matilda asked. "I've done nothin' to foul up the crew..."

Ruby put her face close to the other girl's."Oh, so Alex here was lying when he spoke of yer mutiny?" She said, her voice dangerously low.

Matilda blinked. "Mutiny? I know nothing of the sort!"

Ruby growled, fingering her sword. "Don't play dumb. I can tell when someone's trying to start an uprising-one against me. Did ye really think it would work? What kind of damned fool do ya take me for?"

Matilda bit back a cheeky answer. "None, Captain. None at all. I be knowing nothing of an uprising, m'lady. Whatever Brand has told ya is a lie above all others."

Ruby stared into Matilda's eyes, scowling. She was searching her, Matilda knew.

"She'd say anything to save her own hide. I'd bet my share of the gold on Brand any day." Jackson muttered to Duncan.

Ruby whipped around to face him. "Keep yer trap shut, boy!" She hissed, though she looked like she agreed. "Or I'll toss ya overboard!"

Matilda wished that she had run him through when she had a chance.

"Now!" Ruby said, turning back to Matilda. "Have ye anything to say in yer defense before ya become shark food?"

Matilda glared at Alex Brand, who smiled back. He looked all too innocent for her liking. That's it! Matilda realized. He thinks that if I'm gone, he'll become first mate in my place! I have to fix this right now. "I'm telling ye, Captain, I have not started any uprising. Brand is a liar. Who would ya believe? Yer own first mate, or a one-legged sea-rat?" She asked.

Ruby tapped her sword on the ground. "The sea-rat, of course. Ya have been accused of mutiny thrice this moon, yet he hasn't a shred of disloyalty about him."

Matilda knew that, but she also knew that none of the accusations were true. "I-"

Ruby pressed her sword against Matilda's neck, who instantly closed her mouth. "I've heard enough." She removed her sword only long enough to slash it across Matilda's shoulder.

Matilda gritted her teeth, trying not to cry out. She had seen this done but once before.

She was going to be thrown to the sharks.


Matilda fell down towards the choppy water. She didn't thrash, seeing as Ruby hadn't bothered to tie her back up. She strained to see anything that might be submerged, or anything with rows of sharp, jagged teeth, or both. Nothing.

Matilda hit the water with a splash. Above her, she could just barely make out cheering-or was it her imagination? In her daze, Matilda couldn't tell the difference.

She swam as fast as she could, trying to get out of the way of the ship, but it was hard with the burning pain in her shoulder. The salty water and wind just made it feel worse.

"Ah!" Matilda yelped as something sharp grazed her arm. Probably the barnacles on her ship...but there aren't any! The ship was cleaned only yesterday! Matilda realized. But sure enough, as if it had never been cleaned, the entire hull of the ship next to her was encrusted with the vermin.

Perhaps if she had been fully alert instead of slipping into unconsciousness, she would have noticed the ship was much smaller and darker than the one she was just on. Perhaps she would have noticed the half-familiar voice calling down to her. Perhaps she would have noticed the figure that grabbed her and hauled her on board.

But Matilda was loosing blood fast, and was much too tired to notice these things, except for the dark shadow standing over her as she faded away.


Matilda bolted upright in her cot, breathing heavily. She wildly looked around, searching for anything that might be a threat. When she found nothing, her breathing slowed, and a hint of a smile played on her lips. It must have been a dream. All a terrible dream. She was still alive and on her ship. She must be!

Bang! The hatch flew open. Someone dropped down and turned towards her.

Matilda's jaw dropped in shock. It was Brett! The Captain on Jackson's old crew! But he disappeared...

Brett smiled and gave a small bow. "How's our little mermaid?"

Matilda glared at him. "She's wondering why she's here. Why am I still alive?" She snapped.

Brett sighed. "Think of it as a favor. Ya owe me now. I saved yer life, ye do me a favor."

"I'm a worthy pirate. I do no one favors. I owe no one."

Brett pretended to look hurt. "Now, Mermaid, don't be difficult. I had such hopes for ya," he said.

Now Matilda sighed. "I guess it won't hurt to help now and then." She admitted.

Brett smiled-this time it looked genuine. He extended his hand. "Welcome to the crew, Mermaid."

Matilda hesitated, then grabbed Brett's hand and pulled him close.

Brett's face morphed into one of confusion."Mermaid? What-" He slumped to the floor, eyes wide and blank.

Matilda wiped the blood off of her dagger on Brett's coat and sheathed it. "My name isn't Mermaid, ye filthy dog. It's Matilda, and I wouldn't help the enemy for all the gold in the world."

She climbed out of the hatch and came face-to-face with a dozen armed men, most of whom had been listening. Matilda noticed with grim satisfaction that she recognized several of them. They appeared to recognize her, too. Good. That just makes killing them so much easier. Matilda drew her dagger and bared her teeth at the startled crew. In that moment, looking at them getting ready to fight together, Matilda vowed that, even though they had cast her out, she would return to her Captain Peet if it was the last thing she did.

And it ends there! I'm not going to do a sequel, as it would be overusing it(therefor ruining the effect) sorry if you were hoping for one.

Well? How'd I do? Tell me your thoughts! ...Fanfiction related, please. Flamers and Trolls, come if you dare.

If you feel like there's a word missing somewhere...There probably is. I wrote this on my iPod(stupid spellcheck!) and copying it onto the Doc Manager is always a pain. Tell me, because I'll want to fix it.

Lots of Love,