Well it's been awhile, this a new story and i promise to finish this since i have time

Again all the characters belong to the Creator of Naruto.

Honestly if life was any weirder I'd be truly insane. Now honestly how hard is it for a guy my age to find a woman who'll love me for me and not my super awe inspiring good looks which is accompanied by my almost unmatchable prowess in Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and well other things which may not be appropriate to mention.

Your all also probably wondering who I am, especially since I mentioned two ninja arts, well my name is Naruto Uzumaki, I'm 24 years old, I was born in Konoha on the 10th of October and right now I'm….., well I'm not actually sure where I am at this very moment. You see I kinda left Konoha when I was seventeen almost 3 months after the 4th ninja war, not that things in village weren't great, I just needed time on my own to figure out my purpose in life also since my dad and the pervy sage both bequeathed there wills to me, I now had a mission of spreading peace through out the world. Along the way I met various masters who trained me in there various forms Ninjutsu and Taijutsu, funny thing was I found out not only did I possess wind nature I also had the capability to wielding Water as well as Earth; which for the most part it totally freaking awesome, the Taijutsu part however was a little more difficult as my master had his own variation to the art; it wasn't something the faint of heart should learn. The form of Taijutsu relied on one being in total control of both the outer being and inner being, which again made it difficult since, yu know Kurama can be a bitch, don't tell him I said that. None the less I mastered it to the extent where I was the only student ever to have achieved both the path of heaven and earth.

Anyway after having said all that your still probably wondering why I gave you all such useless information, but I'm not gonna say just yet, ow the hell with it, I Naruto son of Minato, the 4th Hokage is scared shitless. Here I am in the middle of no where, trying to motivate myself to go back home. It's been 7 years and I believe not too many people are gonna be happy that I just show up out of no where (pun intended) and say "Yo" especially since I made no mention of my departure. On the bright side at least I wasn't categorized as a missing nin.

Then again the possibility of me not be kicked to kami knows where before I utter a single word is likely to also occur. Which kinda brings me back to what I said earlier about finding a woman to love me, yea there been a few…. Dozen women here and there but I still find myself drawn to the pink haired beauty at home, who again is also mostly likely to be the one to do the kicking. Again though as I keep walking towards my childhood home I feel both complete terror and calm, which is weird since i only ever feel that way in sennin mode.

Yet here at last after stumbling through the tick bushes and monstrous trees I finally reach the gates of Konoha, standing in all it's glory. I've always appreciated how this place looked from a far but never has I took any interest in the gates, then again it was kinda not hard since, there weren't any the last time I was here and also since from what I remember when we had gates, they weren't the size of a freaking mountain. Big green and sliver, standing tall and again mentioning the mountain bit, I could barely see and end to it; but being me I accepted the challenge, and ran on top if it. What felt like 10minutes was actually an hour, why in hell did they make the gates so tall, we're at peace with the other nations, what on god earth is going on.

Sighing I decided to look forward, only to be shocked, this wasn't a village I was looking at, it was almost the size of a continent , just like the ones I saw on my travels across the globe. Konoha had changed, there were sky scrapers, thousands if not millions of buildings and well it seemed like they also remodeled the Hokage monument. Coming out my stupor I had to wonder whether or not this change was, well good.

Clasping my nap sack I decided to jump down from the gates, since it'd be faster than me having to run again. So I jumped, loving the feel of the wind blowing through my clothes. Upon my landing I saw two very familiar people arguing about god knows what. Shikimaru and Temari, and if my eyes weren't also superb I'd be rubbing them to make sure I wasn't seeing things, was Temari pregnant. Now I know you weren't expecting me to say that, you all thought I'd say something along the lines of her getting fat, but over the last seven years I matured, I was infinitely less dense and idiotic, I use my brain a lot more and I'm also ruggedly handsome, but you all knew that already. So say good bye to old Naruto and welcome the new.

Though even though I've changed I still had my wicked side so I easily perched myself on top the near by tree to listen in on the conversation.

"Yu know shika, I love you dearly, but honest to god is it so hard to say goodbye to your wife and unborn child before you go," said Temari quite sternly, I knew they had sort of a thing going on back then, but married, didn't see that coming.

"Temari, yu know I how I hate saying goodbye, it such a drag, plus I'm only going to the sand to help Garaa with the chunnin exams." He replied smiling at his wife.

Seeing them again brought back so many memories, at that moment I decided, what the heck might as well drop in.

"Yu know, not that I'm not somewhat in shock that yu both got married and are expecting a child, I still find it hard for someone as beautiful as you Temari, to actually fall in love with an oaf like Shikimaru over here." I interrupted, while smirking at their dumbfounded faces.

"Man I know I've been gone along time but sheesh, it's just little old Naruto Uzumaki here," I sang, which intern earned me a slap across my face from Temari, I wasn't sure whether it was a hormonal slap or where the hell have you been asshole…..slap.

"Ow.. I guess I do deserve that," I said looking at them.

"Where in the hell have you been Naruto?" shouted Shikimaru, I really wasn't expecting him of all people to yell at me so to say I was shocked by is outburst was putting lightly.

"Ah, well yu see I," very articulate Naruto, I groaned.

"Well answer him Naruto," squeaked Temari, now that shocked me even more, never once had I ever believed in my life would I hear Temari squeak, to say today was full of surprises for both parties would be an understatement.

"Well?" they said in unison, to which I replied with,


"Ho ho ho, mister Uzumaki you have some explaining to do, and not just only to us, your team, your comrades, friends, this village and it's Hokage, but to all other villages and their Kages," yelled Temari.

Ow great, yu see why I dreaded coming back, less than 30minutes and I'm already in a heap of trouble, again if my life was any weirder.

"I figured as much," was all I could say

So I decided to explain the whole I went on a journey to try and fulfill the pervy sage and my dads wish of peace. It more or less took an hour, which was bad for Shikimaru since he had to leave, but not be for bonking me on my head and calling me an idiot.

"So Naruto, you do realize a lot of people are gonna be pissed off right," said Temari.

"Yea well there's not that can be done. After all it was my decision to leave unannounced for seven years," I replied giving her a smile.

"Yu know I wonder is it just me or is the Great Uzumaki Naruto Hero of the Konoha and War hero to the allied forces a lot more mature, and I must say you truly grown, the ladies must be after you now, especially with you sporting the yellow flash and lord Jiraiya's look," she said winking to which I laughed.

"I guess maybe, but it's not much to talk about, plus if they only like me for my looks and my title, then that's only an obsession and not true affection," replied.

"My, my, my you really have changed huh Naruto," she said smiling, but before I could reply the door to her house was opened and in came, the last person I wanted to see right now, all I saw was long pink flowing hair, and emerald colored eyes which immediately found themselves fixated on me.

"Temari," she called silently, "is that who I think it is sitting on one of your chairs." Ow man was I screwed now.

"Ow why yes Sakura it is, he just popped in this morning, I think I leave you two alone and Sakura, make sure you clean up the blood before you go, it be a shame if Naruto's blood got all over my nice clean floors ,"said Temari sinisterly, note to self, runnnnnnn.

"Hai," was all that came out of Sakura's mouth.

"Hey," was all I could say before her arms encircled my waist, and then proceed to squeeze the oxygen right out of my poor unsuspecting lungs.

She sniffled, squeezed tighter and then let go, her eyes immediately switched from what I believe was joy and relief, to pure and untamed fury, she balled up her fist and I could see faint traces of chakra, ow was I in for one hell of a headache later, so again to reiterate what I mentioned early, though I was able to formulate some sentences earlier, my theory of me being kicked to god knows where wasn't so far fetched, I ended be punched out of the Nara's household, only to end up where I believed was the training grounds, none the less I was absolutely right about one thing, if any major hitting was to be done, Sakura was definitely the one to do it.

Hope you enjoyed, again sorry for not writing so long and abandoning most of my projects.