How Did I Know
Fin took a deep breath and regarded Olivia thoughtfully, "How did I know this was what you needed? That we'd be good together? That you were what I needed?"
"Yes," Olivia nodded her dark eyes were intent.
Fin sighed and forced himself to lift his body off hers, stripping off the condom and getting rid of it before he scooped her up and pulled the bedding back. Setting her back down on the sheets and sliding in beside her, he pulled the bedding back up around her shoulders. Taking her in his arms again he kissed her temple and forehead and cheek, "You know I was in the army. Know I was a Ranger. I...got a need for control. After I was discharged...figured out that there was no such thing, not in the world. Not in combat either." He shrugged, "But in bed...I could control that. Always was a dominant personality, wouldn't have made the Rangers if I weren't."
"So you like to..." Olivia tilted her head at him curiously. "I mean after how you were with me at the precinct I knew you were dominant...but how could you know I'd be..."
"You're not submissive Liv," Fin laughed and kissed her gently. "Not really, not always." He ran a hand down her arm and hip, "But I could tell you tend to worry about everything. There's gonna be times you need someone else to take control. To overwhelm you and take over so you can't think or control anything, so all you can do is relax and be pleasured."
"But how did you know? I've never just...let anyone..." Liv shook her head. "I don't just lie back and surrender, not for anyone Fin."
"Did for me," Fin couldn't help it, he was feeling pretty satisfied about that. He kissed her and let his mouth drift from her lips to her cheek and neck. "And even then, you weren't like a fainting flower or anything Liv. You're perfect the way you are. This was just what you needed."
"But I don't usually, not, I mean," She was frustrated he could tell. "I like to be on top. I like to give as good as I get," Olivia tried to explain and Fin smiled.
"You know me Liv, how long have we worked together now? You know I'd never hurt you, never mock you for what you need? Both of us need something the rest of the world don't always understand." He tugged her closer and let her feel his body against hers, already wanting her again, "I don't always need to be in control in bed. I like the idea of you pushing me back and riding me, taking me."
"I know I can trust you Fin," She was burrowing against him, all that soft flesh felt so good against his skin. "I guess I just...it's the labels, dominant, submissive, in our line of work, they leave a bad taste."
"Yeah I know what you mean," He smiled and let a hand rub over her back. "It's not like I'm planning to put up a sign in the squad room you know. As far as I'm concerned what we do in the bedroom or wherever else is private."
"Wherever else?" Olivia's eyebrows shot up and Fin chuckled.
"If I admit I think about fucking you over my desk at the one six or taking you against the wall in the stairwell am I a perv," He asked putting his mouth on her neck and inhaling deeply. He loved the scent of her skin, her perfume and the taste of her was intoxicating.
"I think that makes you a guy," She smiled, her voice amused. "Does that mean you don't want anyone to know about this? Are we dating or just fucking each other when we need it? What are we doing Fin?"
"I told you when I started this Liv," Fin looked her in the eye, dead serious. "I'm not letting you go. You're mine now." He took her hand putting it over his heart, "I'm yours too. But this...this isn't dating or fucking. It's more than either of those." Fin pressed a careful kiss to her mouth. "That doesn't mean I'm keeping you in bed all the time. I want to take you out. Go on dates. But I'm not patient."
"I'm not nice. I'm not easy to deal with either," Liv's eyes were bright as she looked at him. "I'm more than a little screwed up Fin. You know I am."
"Oh 'cause I'm a picture of mental and emotional health," Fin rolled his eyes. "Told you Liv, you try to run and I'll just track you down. And when I start to shut down, can't stand to be touched, know that you'll just push me on the bed and have your way until I cave in."
Liv laughed a bit, "As if I could take you." She pressed a kiss to his neck and Fin groaned. "So we're keeping this a secret?"
"I already told Cragen that I was dating you," Fin pushed her onto her back and began to kiss her neck again. "Said if he didn't like it he could transfer me out or reprimand me but I wasn't giving you up."
"When...ohhh, when did you tell him that," Olivia moaned and he loved how she sounded, that he could make her sound like that.
"After I cornered you in the hall on Wednesday," He smirked. "I wasn't going to let you get away babygirl." Fin palmed her breasts and heard her breath catch as his mouth moved on her neck and shoulders.
"Just...tell me how long you want this to go on," Liv sounded confused, uncertain and Fin stopped making love to her and regarded her sternly.
"Baby, you don't get it," He propped himself up on his elbows to look down at her nervous face. "When I say you're mine, I mean it. I'm planning on being like this with you when you're using Clairol to cover up any silver you get in your hair and I gotta take Viagra to keep up with you."
Her surprise wasn't flattering but Olivia didn't have a very high opinion of herself personally. As a cop sure, but as a person, she was far to inclined to put her own wants last and she didn't seem to think she had much value as a woman. "Fin, you really don't-"
"I know exactly what I'm saying Olivia," He interrupted her. "Now if you decide that isn't what you want, if you don't want to keep me. Well when you're bored you let me know, I'll see if I can talk you out of it." He slipped a hand between their bodies and found her clit, teasing her until she was gasping.
"God, Fin," She was moaning his name and her hand had wrapped around his cock, "Please just...fuck me." Fin groaned and reached for a condom. She frowned when she saw it but didn't object and soon they were groaning and gasping for each other all over again.
"How can you be sure about this, about me?" Fin wasn't quite asleep when Liv asked him that but he was definitely feeling a little muddled. Whenever he was around her blood flow to his brain could become a problem.
"Babygirl, I trust my instincts," He told her with a sigh. "I know you. Remember? We've worked together. Only one in the precinct I trust as much as I trust you is John." Fin pulled her into his arms and forced his eyes open, "And if you think I don't know just how bad you've been hurt in your life...well I've gotten real good at hiding what I want to."
"Like what?" Liv propped herself up and looked at him curiously. Her fingers traced down his nose to his cheekbone and then to his neck. "Rangers lead the way," She murmured thoughtfully. "Until you told John and me about Mogadishu no one knew you'd been in the military."
"Yeah, that was one thing," Fin admitted. "My son was another. And my ex." He reached up to touch her hair, tousled and adorably mussed again, "How much I like my partner. And how much attention I paid to you." He tugged her face down to his gently and kissed her, "I've had my eyes on you for a long time Liv. Never seen you put a high enough value on yourself. You're passionate and strong and tough and compassionate and there's no one I'd rather have at my back than you or John."
"Fin I'm not that great," Olivia rolled her eyes at him. "I don't trust people easily, these days sometimes I don't even trust my partner. I get hurt too easily and I...I don't..."
"You think you push people away, that the reason you were alone was because that jackass was right and you were too fussy, too hard to be with," Fin pulled her down to him and wrapped his arms around her. "The man was an ass and he didn't even try to understand your job," He told her. "You're not fussy, you're precise and you aren't hard to be with." Fin let his lips move along her jaw, "Try to be with me Liv. You'll see how easy it is."
"You're going to regret this," Olivia sighed but she let him pull her close and drag the blankets up over them both. "But you can't say I didn't warn you."
Fin shook his head as she fell asleep against him. She really had no idea how easy it would be to deal with her, to be with her. He'd wanted her for years ever since he'd started to notice the little things about her personality. She wasn't pushy but she was firm about her theories and able to stand up to Stabler. She was polite to just about everyone and sympathetic with victims. She responded to authority but not in the same way he did. And it wasn't six months of knowing her before he figured out that she'd been abused; John let something drop and then the pieces began to fall into place. The men she picked was another story.
The cop was her best choice as far as he could tell, but she pushed Cassidy away pretty quick. Fin had seen him when he transferred over to Narcotics, just as Fin was leaving. The cop was younger and fairly good looking. Fin had kept his ear to the ground and between John's remarks and the gossip from Narcotics he'd had a pretty good idea of what had happened. Since then her taste had gone downhill a bit.
The common thread seemed to be guys who looked good in a suit, had lives and careers of their own and were fairly strong personalities in and of themselves. It had only taken one last thing to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.
Liv had been sitting at her desk and rotating her neck after doing three solid hours of computer work. He'd been passing behind her and stopped to ask if she was all right. She'd winced and explained that her muscles were tight and it was a little painful. He'd gambled then, but it had paid off, putting one hand on the back of her neck and squeezing lightly. Her entire body had stiffened and her breath had come in a sharp gasp. He'd been able to feel her pulse triple its beat under the tip of his finger. He'd given her another squeeze and helped her rotate her neck a little more, looked down into her eyes and saw them dilated, her lips parted slightly and only the fact that they were in the middle of the precinct had kept him from doing something foolish.
Fin sighed and gathered her closer, it had been a while since he'd slept with anyone, trusted anyone to stay the night. The closest he'd come in the last six months had been when John's apartment building was being fumigated and his partner had camped out on the couch. That wasn't to say he'd been lacking in female company but he hadn't wanted them back at his apartment. There were only two people outside of family who'd been to his place.
He woke up in the dark, his arms empty and Olivia was sitting at the foot of the bed, "Should I have ripped a few things so you couldn't sneak off?" He murmured lazily.
She turned to look at him and her smile was uncertain, "Couldn't sleep. I figured why wake you up, I'd go home and get a work out in."
Fin sat up and reached for her, gratified when she took his hand and let herself be pulled back towards him, "Coulda woken me up and given me a workout." He told her with a half smile, kissing her cheek. "What were you thinkin'? Weights or a run?"
"Weights and then the treadmill," Olivia admitted. "Since running alone isn't exactly safe, even for a cop." She sighed, "I'm sorry I woke you up."
"I'd rather you wake me up than go sneaking out like you don't think you're welcome in the light of day," Fin told her. "Why couldn't you sleep? Got a reason or's this just a general thing?"
"It's a general thing," Liv admitted. "I've never slept well," She looked at him, "Not since I was a teenager."
"You wanna talk about it?" Fin pressed a kiss to her temple. "Or should I distract you from being awake? I'm good either way." He wasn't kidding, he'd happily wake up in the middle of the night to make love to Olivia if it meant she'd stay until morning.
"Distraction please," She was unhooking the bra she'd put on and Fin found her panties and stripped them off her. "Fin, this time...please don't use a condom."
"Liv, I always use a condom," He didn't want to, no guy did, but it wasn't fair to her, to put all the burden of protection on her.
"I'm on the pill, I've been tested," Olivia had his earlobe between her teeth, tugging at it erotically as her hands crept downward and found his cock. "Please. I want you skin to skin."
"This one of your things," Fin asked finally. "Somethin' you like or need?" He wasn't trying to be judgmental but this felt like a test. He found her pulse with his mouth and began to nibble on it gently.
"No," She moaned the answer, "It's been years since I...since I've asked- please Fin." Olivia's fingers wrapped around his cock and stroked upward.
He shuddered and dragged her over him so he could look her in the eye, "Tell me why then babygirl? Why now? Why me?"
"Because I trust you," She was looking down at him, a little bewildered. "I want you inside me, I want to feel your cum in me. I don't want anything between us."
"All right," Fin nodded and drew her down so he could kiss and suck on her breasts. She was moaning and undulating against him, his cock swollen and ready pressed between their bodies by the time he stopped and put his hands on her hips. "Your turn baby, put me inside you Liv." Her shiver was barely discernible in the dark but he could feel it, her skin trembling under his hands and drew her down to kiss, "What's wrong?"
"It's been so long," She whispered, "Since I trusted anyone like this...Fin...I..." She shivered again and kissed him. "I want you so badly..."
"C'mere," Fin lifted her over his body, and positioned his cock between her thighs, holding her hips so all she had to do was sink down onto him. "I gotcha Liv. But its up to you," He reminded her. Damned if he'd go without a condom and then put her on her back and plow her like it wasn't her decision. If this was what she wanted, she had to take it, it wasn't up to him this time.
But she moaned and he could feel how wet she was, the blunt head of his cock poised to enter her until Olivia shuddered and slowly began to sink down onto his body. Fin groaned as her tight walls seemed to almost flutter and spasm around him and Liv wailed. A twist of her hips and she was taking him fully, a shriek of pleasure torn from her throat and Fin had to hold tight to her hips so he wouldn't tumble her on her back and pound into her. "Oh, god...Fin..." Her hands had slid from his chest to his shoulders, "It's too much...I...I'm..."
He loved to watch her come, she was utterly beautiful and her body felt so fucking good and right around him, "That's it Liv." Fin couldn't take anymore, pushing himself up to bury his mouth on her breasts again. She moaned and he could feel her fingers bite into his shoulders as she started to rock her hips against him, moving slowly at first until they were both going mad with need. He'd never felt anything so good, it had been years since he'd had sex without protection and now with Olivia, all he wanted, needed, was to come inside her.
"Ohhhh Fin, Fin," Olivia shuddered convulsively in his arms and her body seemed to almost vibrate and clutch around his cock. "God please, please, come in me, please Fin...god I need it...please."
Fin wondered if it was possible for his brain to implode with sensation. She was so hot and wet and silky wrapped around him, every muscle in her body drawing her deeper inside her until he was almost jerking Liv on and off his cock. She was moaning and begging and he'd never heard anything hotter in his life than Detective Olivia Benson begging for him to come in her. He came so deep in her he could feel the head of his cock pushing up into the mouth of her womb, a tight greedy little mouth as her pussy clamped around him and ruthlessly yanked every drop of seed from his balls in excruciating ecstasy.
He lay back pulling Liv down with him and shuddered in the aftermath, her body limp and sated over his. They were both clammy with sweat, panting and exhausted and she was still clinging to him as if she was afraid to let go.
Author's Note: So they've talked and had more sex and talked some more. I like these two so far. I like damaged people who find each other and build something. I don't have a clear idea of where this is going yet so it might be a little bit before I post another chapter. Be patient with me.