I hadn't told either Rosalie or Emmett what I already knew to be true. They had invited me out to dinner with them tonight, but I had quickly turned down their invitation. I had too many thoughts running through my head to even try to pretend that something wasn't wrong. As it was, I had already brought too many problems to them and I didn't want to make my marriage to Edward another one.
I had smiled as they walked out the door, but that smile had quickly vanished when the door closed behind them.
Once I had calmed down enough earlier, I had searched for information pertaining to divorce. Enough research let me know that we didn't necessarily have to get a divorce, but could get an annulment. I still cried. I cried even more when I thought of anyone finding out about what I had done. I couldn't even try to imagine what my mother would say if she found out I married a stripper in Vegas while I was at my drunkest and lowest moment.
I was ashamed. that was a given. Besides feeling embarrassed, I also felt disappointment toward myself. Was I really any better then Jacob? The first chance I got I married someone else, without pause or thought in the man I have loved for the past four years. My betrayal somehow seemed to go deeper then his ever did. Late last night I had even lost time wondering if he would forgive me if I told him what I had done. Something told me that the daily calls I've been receiving from him would stop.
No, it was better to keep this between myself and Edward. As soon as I received my marriage certificate I would have to go in search of him and we would file for an annulment. It would be simple. Plus, I was more then sure he would be more then willing to separate himself from me as quickly and quietly as possible.
I pause as I walk toward the living room, dread finding me. What if he didn't even know that he had married me? What if he was just as much in the dark as I had been before yesterday morning? It was a possibility. I had received the photos of our reception, if I hadn't received those pictures who knew when I would have learned the truth. He was probably just as drunk, or more, then I had been that night That was probably the only reason he had agreed to marry me in the first place, but had his memory erased the occasion from his mind? Was he still in the dark?
My knees become weak and I quickly walk over to the couch and sit down. This was getting worse every damn second and I had to fix it before I gave myself a heart attack. I take a deep breath and try to put my thoughts in order. If he didn't know we were married when I went looking for him then I would just have to explain everything to him, well, as much of the puzzle that I had put together. I was going to have to go back to one of his shows, seeing how that was the only place I could think to find him. I was just going to have to hope he recognized me when he saw me. I would go next weekend. I would have the whole week to track him down, if I needed it, seeing how I'd be on spring break. It was soon enough for me to get myself out of this mess, and soon enough to where I wouldn't have to think about it for too much longer.
As I sit there, trying to mentally fix what I alone got myself into, I make myself swear to forget this marriage ever happened once it was resolved. This would go with me to the grave and I would just have to pray and hope that Rosalie's memories of that night would never find her.
I stand up with resolve, about to go into my room. I was determined to get my mind off things by grading some papers and two things happened at once. My phone rings from the coffee table in front of me, and there's a knock on the front door.
The whole week I've been here no one has stopped by, at least not when I'm around. I don't know whether I should answer the door, or ignore who ever it might be. As I'm debating, I remember that Jacob had stopped by yesterday morning My heart jumps at the thought of it being him. My hope and heart beat increases when I see that he's the one calling. I go toward the door and look through the peephole. I see bronze hair and I'm filled with too much disappointment to even try to guess whose standing on the other side.
I walk back to the living room, deciding to let whoever it might be think that no one is home. The knocking stops, but after a moment begins again. I release a huff, aggravated. Couldn't they take a hint?
I walk back to the foyer and open the door, prepared to tell whoever it might be that were not buying what they're selling, but the words never leave my lips.
It takes me a moment to understand who I'm seeing, even as I stare up into green eyes. I blink, not believing that he's standing in front of me. He smiles as I stand there with what I'm sure is an expression of pure comical disbelief.
I close the door in his face, too freaked out to do anything else. My mind tries to comprehend and connect what I've just seen and place it into something that makes sense.
Edward was standing on the other side of the door. How did he find me? Why did he come and find me? Was he here to talk about what we had done? I hear him say my name through the closed door and I shake my head. I'm trying to understand, yet block his voice all at once.
I know we needed to talk, that was a given. That was probably why he had bothered to travel all the way out here, but as I stand in the foyer I can't help but to wonder why he didn't wait until I came to find him? Did he really think I would just let us continue to stay married?
I tell myself to stop being a coward and open the door. He had came all the way to Seattle in search of me, the least I could do was woman-up and open the door. We had to talk, whether it was today or a week from now. This conversation had to happen. He probably had just as much questions as I had, and hopefully between the two of us we could get those answered.
I nod my head. He was here, and I was going to open the door, and we were going to fix this. I take a deep breath and stare at the closed door. My hand tightens on the knob and I count to three before pulling it open.
Took me long enough, I know! Sorry for the wait and for the cliffhanger! Double evilness. (:
Edward's finally back! What could he want?
On a side note, did anyone catch the VMA's last night? Please tell me I wasn't the only one waiting for NSYNC to hit the stage! (those guys can still move! &&& I feel so old) Miley?! Lady Gaga? Taylor and Selena as twins? What haven't you forgotten about last night?