Buffy walks into the mansion.
This is it. If anytime since I met Angel I thought that somehow I would be able to hear Angel's thoughts, know what really goes through his head, about me, us? But I'm about too, I'm about to know everything I have always wanted, what I thought I never would.
But I'm scared. What if I hear what I don't want to. Do I really want to know. But I cant live with not knowing when I have this one chance to find out everything I need to know I have before Giles finds out how to get rid of this thought reading power those demons infected in me before I go insane.
Oh my god, I see him.
" Buffy" Angel says, his eyes widening at my presence.
"Hi" I reply.
What is she doing here. At least she is here. I thought she wouldn't want to be around me for a while after the Faith incident last week.
Oh my god I can hear him.
" I just thought I would stop by, see how you are doing" I reply, trying to keep a conversation going so he doesn't sense anything odd.
Does she mean how I am doing after Faith? Does she want to discuss what happened? Should I mention it?
" You know after what happened with Faith" I reply following the path of his thoughts.
"Do you want to discuss it?" he asks me.
" Do you think we need to?" I reply.
She sounds angry. She is angry at me. I was dreading this. I should of knew she would be. I wonder how it felt for her to see me kissing Faith. I mean if it was the other way round.
" If you want to discuss it" he states staring intently at me, so much his intense glare seems to penetrate me.
Think, ask him something so I can found out what I need to know.
" Do you love me" I ask suddenly, Talk about getting straight to the point.
He stares at me, suddenly his intense gaze widening, somewhat shocked.
And then I hear his mind.
Why would she ask that? Is she questioning my love for her? What happened with Faith has ruined everything
Having to go along with Faith, pretending to be Angelus, kissing Faith, it has made her think that I don't love her.
" I cant believe you need to ask that" he comes back with, somewhat harshly.
" How can I not" I reply.
Please don't do this Buffy. If you only knew. Your my everything! If I lose you through this,... I just cant.
" But you kissed her" I reply, I need to hear more.
" It was an act, I did it to make her believe I was on her side, to find out what we needed to know" he states, I can hear the anger coming out in his voice, " If I hurt you, I am sorry, more than you know, but I did it to keep up the act, I had no choice"
Please understand , If she leaves me over this.
" I just cant get it out of my head, I don't think, I don't think I can forget it,..., I don't think I can carry on like it didn't " I say.
I couldn't bear to be without him, he and Faith has hurt me so much, and I need to hear him, hear him say he wants me, not Faith.
Faith, with her sexy dark hair, and bad girl attitude.
Sometimes I think the pair of them are so alike, both with dark sides, they must really connect in ways I could never with him.
And then I hear his thoughts bellowing out.
This is it. She's leaving me. I knew it. I knew I had lost her.
" Faith, you two are so alike" I begin to explain.
" Buffy are you being serious" he snaps.
She can't think that I seriously wants Faith, can she. I mean Faith is even working with the Mayor. Not only does she think I want Faith and not her but she thinks I want someone on the bad side. To be on the bad side. Why would she think that. Does she really not trust me?
" I think we shouldn't see each other I more" I state.
I don't mean it, I couldn't bear it, but I decide to press his buttons. I need to hear how he reacts.
His head soon tells me.
No. No. No. No. She cant be doing this.
I've lost her for good through this. Through something I just had to go along with so I could get information to help. If you only know how much I love you. Need you. If I couldn't see you again,..., I don't think I could cope.
My heart flutters at his thoughts.
" Buffy, please..." Angel begins before I cut him off.
" I need to go" I state and quickly leave.
I hear his thoughts as he silently watches me leaves helplessly.
She's going. She just leaving. Is that it. She cant just leave it like this.
He loves me. He needs me. I cant get the image of him and Faith out of my head, even if was just an act but its everything I wanted to hear.
Now I just have to figure out how to make this right.
To be continued ...