"But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself."
― Albert Camus
It was a bleak February night in Bullworth. The bitter winter air rolled around town, leaving many inside, seeking refuge from the elements. The prefects had retired early as almost every student was inside, wrapped up in oversized jumpers or thick jackets. One student, however, was still out. Jimmy Hopkins had not returned from his "walk" that day, and, although no-one knew, he was in fact out at the pier, slumped on a bench, looking towards the sea.
Something was off about James. No-one was there to see, but if they had been, they would have noticed Jimmy's somewhat different appearance. His once firm, wide shoulders now fell slightly, and he no longer gave off the feeling of a "tough guy" effect. He had black bags under his eyes and his once attentive awareness was gone; his eyes glazed over as if he wasn't all there. Once an Alpha male, he had been reduced to a nervous wreck. He tried his best to hide it, but to anyone who knew him, something wasn't right.
"Why did things have to go this way?"
James looked out to the sea surrounding him. He knew he'd get his heart broken, so why did him become so attached? Everything he had ever loved had been taken away from him; his father, his mother (the old, non gold digging mother, not the whore he had now), and now this. Why couldn't God give him one break? Why couldn't he have her? Over the past nine months it had become his one desire in life, all he had tried to achieve, and now it was stolen from him. No one could ever lecture him about luck ever again.
"You could end it all, you know."
Jimmy stared more intently at the Ocean in front of him. He had come to realise that great pain occurred not during the event, but in the surprise of it happening. The sea wasn't like Zoe. The sea didn't promise anything great - it held only death. With Zoe, he was promised love, and experienced heartbreak. This was where the pain came from; the broken promise. The Atlantic's harsh waves held no such promise. He would be killed on the rocks and washed ashore, to be found to next day at low tide. This slowly became more and more appealing to Jimmy. He would never have a false promise again. His heart would never be broken again. The waves offered a way out; they were his friend. Jimmy stumbled across to the edge of the pier to inspect what he was in for. There was no doubt about it. A permanent end.
"She needs you. She needs you now more than ever."
A voice rang through his head and Zoe's perfect, beautiful face appeared in his vision. She was smiling, and Jimmy once again had his purpose - to make Zoe happy, and in turn, make himself happy. He shook his head, and stumbled backwards, away from the deep, black fate awaiting him. He would not help Zoe! All this was her fault! Voices rang through his head rapidly, conflicting ideas, whether to stay or leave, to help Zoe or to leave her alone.
"She needs you."
"She took away your joy"
"She can make you happy"
"She never liked you"
"She wants to help"
"She will hurt you again"
"Enough!" Jimmy roared aloud, for the world to hear. He fell to the ground, curling into a ball. A bitter half smile appeared on his face.
"To be or not to be. I'm sure I've heard that before." Jimmy thought, half aloud, smiling to himself. Once again, his body split into two, and he felt like he was being ripped in half.
"That's good, Jim. Use you humour. Use it and help Zoe."
"The Ocean is your friend! Use it and never feel pain again."
Jimmy silenced the thoughts and sat upright, rocking back and forth slowly, shaking. He hummed a child's tune to himself and tried to heal the split inside him.
"This must be how Gary felt last year. Poor bastard."
For 5 long minutes, there was calm on the pier. Jimmy sat by himself, humming an out of tune version of "Ring a Ring Roses", calming himself down. Had anyone seen and heard him, he surely would have been sent on a one way ticket to Happy Volts. The silence was interrupted by Jimmy standing and then walking up to the edge of the pier. He had made his mind up, and would not change it. He couldn't live with the pain, not with Zoe. This was it. Five seconds.
"Things never should have turned out this way."
"Zoe deserves this pain"
"Nobody will miss me"
"I won't have my heart broken again."
Instead of jumping, Jimmy wearily took his phone from his pocket and opened a text.
"Hello from Orange. Just to let you know that your credit is £0.98 an-"
Jimmy clicked away from the message. A pointless text had saved his life. Who'd of thought it. Suddenly, a new idea came to mind. He could leave Zoe behind without taking his life. There was another way out! Quickly, he stumbled onto his contacts and scrolled down to M. He clicked on "Mum" and pressed the green button.
"Oh hello James. You're not in trouble, are you?"
"No mum. I want to leave."
"What? But Dr Crabblesnitch said you were doing so well."
"Please mum. I need to leave."
"Well.. if you insist.. I'll see what I can do in the morning. Ring me back then, it's getting late!"
James sat down on a nearby bench. He was now content, and the two arguing sides had both been shut up. Life would be simple for Jimmy now. Just sit tight until his mum came and then he could turn his back on Bullworth, and more importantly Zoe, for good. Jimmy got up, and turned around, in the direction of his beach hut. He would live there for the last few days he had in Bullworth. The final chapter of his life in Bullworth now had been written, and all he has to do is wait.
So here's the prologue. If you couldn't tell, it's set 9/10 months after the end of the game, in February of Jimmy's "Junior" year at school. This is infact the end of the story, and I thought it would be different if the prologue showed the end of the story. Don't worry, Chapter 1 is set when Jimmy and Zoe first meet, right at the beginning, and it will be linear from there. I hope I've made it mysterious/ interesting enough to get you to start reading the story. Chapter One will be up as soon as I write it. Until then, review, follow, and have a very nice day.
p.s I'm still looking for a artist to draw a cover. If anyone is free, it would be greatly appreciated. PM me or email me at williamsheen for details. Thanks in advance.