A/N: A series (eventually) of drabbles, primarily for practicing and exploring various characters. Oddly enough, we'll start with Kaworu; I blame a combination of Laryna6's excellent "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls" and the necessity of figuring out his character for my own work. Enough preamble; let's begin.
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion. Seriously, it's the truth.
I am of Adam. I exist for the purpose of executing my duty.
But I am also Tabris, Angel of Free Will.
The irony is not lost on me, that these two natures are reflected in my physical self: the body of the Lilim - freedom, choice, ephemerality - with the soul of an angel - duty, purpose, eternity.
It is my destiny to follow the whims of the Lilim where they coincide with my duty, until my mission is finished and I can join with Adam. And yet...
Perhaps it is my nature that pulls me in these opposing directions. Ikari Shinji... I am drawn to him. I wish for him to be happy. To have relief from the pain I see in him, the pain of the Lilim with their closed hearts. He knows that to open himself to another is to offer the chance to bring him pain. I wish to show him that it can also bring joy.
Still, I know my betrayal will hurt him. The more he opens himself to me, the greater his pain will be. I would spare him if I could; and yet...
His pain will not remain for long if I am successful, and perhaps... after all, he has great strength within him. A fragile heart, but a strong will. Perhaps he might be able to stop me.
To free me.
I am sorry, Shinji-kun, for what I must do. I pray it will not force you to close your heart again.
If only I could avoid this fate, if only I had the time to help you to heal your fractured soul... but it serves no purpose to dwell on these things. Soon one of us will have no time left.
You must be strong, my beloved friend. If one of us is to live on, let it be you. With time, even your wounds may yet heal. Though your heart may break, if you have the will you can forge it anew, stronger and better than before.
I beg you not to falter when the time comes.
I have my duty. And you have yours.
Please leave a review and let me know what you think! With luck (and inspiration), more of these quick character explorations will be forthcoming.