AN: This was inspired by ask-sergeant-calhoun's (she's on Tumblr; go look her up, she's awesome) headcanon that, in the Human AU, Felix can talk to, and understand, his cat Q*Bert. Thank you, Calhoun-Mun, for telling me about that headcanon and letting me post this! :3 Hopefully you all like this!
Disclaimer: I do not own Wreck It Ralph. Disney does.
"Is that right?"
"Oh my lands, really?
"Why, I never!"
Sighing as Felix's responses grew in volume with each thing he was told, Tamora closed her eyes and allowed her book to fall into her lap, her head leaning to rest against the back of the couch. It had been over an hour ago that Felix had moved into their bedroom to take a call, and ever since it had been a stream of shock and over reactions every few minutes, broken only by the weirdest squeaks she had ever heard coming from the room. What he was talking about with whomever had called she couldn't even begin to imagine, but enough was enough. Pushing herself to her feet, deciding that she truly didn't care if anyone thought her rude, Tamora stomped down the hall and pushed open the door, ready to steal the phone from her boyfriend and hang up just so she could get some peace and quiet.
The first thing she saw was the phone sitting on the end of the bed, unused and forgotten by the man stretched out on the comforter. Turning her gaze toward him as he sat up, his own eyes crinkling in a smile as he saw her, it was with a look of confusion that she realized he had not, in fact, been talking on the phone. Opening her mouth to question what in the name of everything known he had been doing for the last hour, her attention was grabbed as the creature curled up on his pillow moved, revealing Felix's feline friend.
"Felix," Tamora said slowly, her eyes flickering between her boyfriend and his pet, "were you talking to the cat?"
"He's quite the conversationalist," Felix replied with a nod, moving his arms so he could scratch Q*Bert behind the ears. "So many things he wants to say, but no one listens to him. Isn't that right, Q*Bert?" Pitching his voice high as if he was talking to a small child, Felix scooped the orange cat into his arms, cuddling him close as he spoke. Placing his ear next to Q*Bert's mouth as he purred, Felix nodded sagely at the cat's words, his face becoming serious as Q*Bert imparted his wisdom to him. Her eyebrows rising even more as Felix responded, a series of chirps and clicks that Q*Bert actually seemed to be paying attention to, it was with a giggle that her boyfriend held his pet out toward her, his finger moving Q*Bert's paw up and down so the cat could wave. "He likes you, Tammy."
"Right. Sure he does," Tamora drew out, her brow furrowing as she watched Felix return to squeaking at the cat, her face otherwise expressionless. Clearing the few feet of space that separated them, she gently pulled Q*Bert away, draping the cat over her shoulder before placing a kiss onto Felix's forehead. "Go to sleep, Fix-It. If you think the cat can talk, you're way too punchy to stay awake."
"But, Tammy," Felix replied in protest, turning his head to glance at the clock sitting on their bedside table, "it's not even thr-"
"Shhh." Removing the finger she had placed against his lips when it became clear that Felix wasn't going to talk again, Tamora pressed against his shoulder until he head hit the pillow. Her glare enough to ensure that he wouldn't move from the bed anytime soon, she closed the blinds before exiting the room, glancing back one last time to check he was still laying down. "I'll wake you when it's time to order dinner," she promised, "now sleep." That said, Tamora shut the door and returned to her place on the couch, Q*Bert sliding from her shoulder to take a seat on the cushion next to her. Opening her book to the page she had left off of, content in the knowledge she wouldn't hear a peep from Felix until she went to wake him, Tamora went back to reading.
"What?" Lifting her head to stare at the cat, it was with a sigh that she raised her arm, allowing the orange ball of fur to climb into her lap.
"You have water in your bowl, and you've already had lunch. Shush."
"I'm not Felix, you know. I can't understand you."
"I'm not going to start talking to a cat."
"Fine," Tamora growled as Q*Bert nuzzled against her, a low purr resounding in his chest. "I have no clue what you just said, but how so?"