005691224005691224Naruto's Ninja Harem!

L.T: uuuuuuugh… I don't feel so hot, but I will write this chapter! That's my shinobi way, believe it!

Today's special guest is the one, the only, AKANE NO SABAKU!

L.T: So, Akane, how do you feel about your role in the story so far?

Akane: Well, I'm not too comfortable about you turning me into a girl, but Naruto's a great guy, and I think I'll grow to like my new shape.

L.T: what do you think will happen to Naruto in this chapter, Akane-chan?

Akane: I don't really know, but I get the impression that two rather perverted people will screw something up, somewhere along the line… just a feeling, you understand!

L.T: Ok, that's all the time we have for now, but stayed tuned for the next interview! Just tell me who you want me to grill, and I shall oblige the majority! JA NE!


"So, you're going to find Aunt Kushina's old home, huh? And you have several girlfriends? Ok, just as long as you don't mind another!" Naruko giggled, and groped her cousin's crotch.



"Raz! Yo, buddy! Tsunade-sama needs you; she's got an assignment for you, if you're not too busy!" Kakashi Hatake called into the apartment that Raz had rented with his girlfriend. Raz stuck his head out from behind a large crate, which he was currently heaving across the floor. "Sure thing, Kakashi-san, just gimme a moment," he tugged, and the crate slid another foot.

Kakashi leaned against the box, and it slid further, as the two ninja put their backs into it. Raz stopped pulling once the box was positioned in the centre of the room, before he punched it with a fist. The box splintered, and a large, intimidating assortment of weapons fell form a stand, now kind f buckled after the blow. Kakashi picked up a lethal-looking short sword, then dropped it, as a snake's head oozed out of the pommel, before withdrawing when he let go.

"Yeah, don't touch the kit, it's got a pretty potent little curse on the stuff, and I'm gonna break it, but it can wait. You said Tsunade-san had a mission?" Kakashi nodded. "She asked me to come get you, oh, about two hours ago, actually. You're late, better hurry." He gave his usual eye-smile, ^_^, then leaf shunshinned away. "KAAKASHHIIIIIIIII!" Raz howled, and shadows engulfed him. When they drew back, he was gone.



"Is…this Orochimaru's lair?!" Hensuke raised an eyebrow. Jiraiya nodded. "Yes… Orochimaru is most cunning… I would never have expected that he'd hide in a sewer…" Hensuke hefted the bag of spy cameras, and slipped off.



"Come on, cuz! Just a bit further!" Naruko exhorted her younger relative on to even greater efforts, as the duo came to a rest on a rocky plain… no, not rocks, the ruins of houses and shops. Naruto stared around, and saw that not a single structure was unscathed, and most were overgrown, and dead.

"Holy shit… what happened?" Naruto gasped. Naruko put her arm around him, and told him. "The village was prosperous, because of its talent for sealing and binding jutsu. Too skilful, the village was destroyed during the third Shinobi World War." Naruto sniffed, and wiped his eyes, before looking around. "What're you looking for, Naru-kun?" his cousin asked curiously. "The Guardian Stones. My mom said they'd teach me something, if I kissed someone I loved when they were nearby." Naruko blushed, and took his hand. "Let's go find them, then!"



"Master Jiraiya! I'm back! The cameras are in place!" Hensuke panted, appearing at Jiraiya's side. Jiraiya pulled a small computer from a scroll, and started skipping through channels, looking for anything he could use to stop the perverted snake sannin. Stopping on the first one that revealed the pale douche, Jiraiya stopped, stared, and then screamed in horror. On the screen, in inglorious Technicolor, Orochimaru was showering, and singing 'I will survive'… with hip motions.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, OH, KAMI, IT'S HIDEOUS! BURN IT! BEAT THE IMAGES OUT OF MY EYES! I CAN'T SEEE, I'M BLIIIIINND, BLIIIIIIINNND!" Hensuke facepalmed himself, then reached into another bag, pulling out blocks of explosive clay. "Blow it up master?" Jiraiya wiped his eyes, rammed a kunai through the screen, and growled, "ohhhh, yessss…. Blow it up, now…. BLOW IT ALLL UUUPPP!"


A cloud of smoke plumed over the land of grass, and maniacal laughter echoed through the valleys.



"Raz, you are to go and find Naruto, and bring him back. We need him for a mission, but he appears to have left the village. Izumo and Kotetsu saw him leaving, heading for Wave. You accomplish this, and you'll get yourself an ANBU rank. Dismissed!" Tsunade turned back to the stacks of paper filling her new office, and slammed her head on the desk. "Damn you, Narutooo…" she moaned.


"Naruto! Are these the stones?!" Naruko called, tugging her cousin over to a half-collapsed ring of boulders. Staring into his eyes, she kissed him on the lips, then waited. After a minute, a faint grinding noise echoed upwards, and a slab of stone, with swampy water and silt pouring off, rose up, revealing a dark, earthy hole. Just as Naruto bent down to look in, a dark shape fountained out of the water behind him, slipped on a slime-covered rock, and cannoned into him, knocking him through the hole, falling after him, and followed by a furious Naruko. "Get back here, assassin! Murderer!"


And so, another thrilling chapter comes to an end.

Who is the mysterious assailant who tripped over his own feet?

Will Kakashi ever show up on time?

Where will Orochimaru live now?

Why am I asking you these questions?

All of these question and less, next time, on NNH!