Ganondorf sat on his throne, his bottom snuggled comfily into the cushiony padding.

"Dumply!" He barked. Then a pause.


Dumply the Moblin came moping into the room. "Right here, sir," he mumbled.

"Why the long face?" Ganondorf interrogated harshly. "Girl problems again?"

"Yes, sir... But this one was really special to me, sir... I thought we shared a connection; you'd understand, sir..."

"No," Ganondorf replied blatantly. "I've never had a girlfriend. Regardless, where's my servant, Dark Link?"

"In the northern wing, sir..."

Ganondorf remained seated, expecting his minion to offer to fetch him. Ten seconds passed, though, and Dumply hadn't moved a muscle. Slowly, with unauthentic difficulty, Ganondorf lifted himself from his throne.

"Uuugggghhhhh," he groaned as he stomped away, head thrown back, arms hanging towards the floor, and hunched over. He continued like this all the way to the northern wing, a large, spacious corridor filled with the aroma of swine feed (Ganondorf feasted in this area.)

Suddenly, his ears perked up as they perceived an odd smooching sound. It was coming from a frayed tapestry to the right. Ganondorf shuffled over to it, intrigued.

He pulled it back, only to stumble away in horror.

Inside, wrapped in a tight embrace and eating each other's face off, were Dark Link and Saria.

"Dark Link!" Ganondorf exclaimed, absolutely appalled. "How- how COULD you?! She's but a small girl!"

Dark Link jumped from Saria and waved his hands frantically, his eyes wide. "N-n-no, Master, it's not what you think! It's only what you see- and probably think- but that's not the point!"

Ganondorf, however, had already fled from the scene, his hands over his eyes, bellowing,"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!"

~One Day Later~

Dark Link sat criss-cross applesauce on the floor of his quarters, humming softly to himself.

"Hmm-hmm... Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hm-HMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

Suddenly, Ganondorf opened the door.

"Yes, Master?" Dark Link asked cheerily.

"I-I need you to come with me, Dark Link."

"Alright, Master!" Dark Link hopped up and followed his overlord, never ceasing his humming.

At last, they came to the grand doors. Before opening them, however, Ganondorf turned to Dark Link, a grieved expression painted across his face.

"Before I do this, Dark Link, know this- what I do, I do without choice- in the name of peace and sanity."

With that, he thrust the doors open. Instantly, obnoxious siren noises and flashes of red and blue bombarded Dark Link. It took him but a moment to connect two and two.

"M-Master- if this about yesterday- listen, I swear- it- it was nothing!"

Ganondorf gazed at Dark Link painfully. "Listen, Dark Link- I had to do this. I just can't let a predator like you roam the streets- who could be your next target? Malon? Tetra? Tingle?!"

"Please, Master! Just listen!" However, just then, a large, firm hand gripped his shoulder.

"Come on, son," the owner, presumably a cop, commanded calmly. Dark Link was led away and placed in the back seat of a police car.

Slowly but surely, the vehicle drove away, escorting Dark Link to prison.

Ganondorf observed as the vehicle vroomed away.

"I did what was right," he assured himself, nodding his head. With that, he retreated into his tower.

~The End~