Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, you'll see some cute guys cuddling each other. Get the picture?
Fairydust ~ To get rid of an unrelenting pursuer, Seto somehow manages to persuade Ryou to act as his boyfriend for a week. It's just that neither of them ever expected it to lead to something more… *grin* Seto*Ryou
PM: I decided that I really needed to write a happy fic. Angst and dark fics are fine, but there are times that I need to unwind. And I really did take a look at my in-progress fics. Among which is a fantasy fic, a fic dealing with recovering from rape, and one about prostitution… *voice trails off as she notices people staring incredulously at her* Err…
Yami: NOOOOOOO! DO NOT PUBLISH THAT FIC!
PM: Too late! I WILL PREVAIL AND WRITE IT! BWAHA!
Yami *decides to beseech the readers*: Help! Tell her not to write it! Tell her to let it rot! Tell her it's no good! PLEASE!
PM: Yami… tight leather… Yami and Seto… *eyes unfocus* Yami looking totally sexy… *laughs nervously* Doesn't matter… that story will be written in due course, but now it's on to this fic! It takes place in the future, specifically college. :P Anyhow, this fic is inspired by Musouka-san's "Paper Moon". If you like Digimon and Jyouto, or just want to read a fabulous romance written by a fantastic writer, read that fic! Also, before we continue, note that the information comes from the manga, rather than the anime (dubbed or Japanese). As for the important people who helped me get this fic written, I must thank my two beta-readers, Mariel and Mary Jo. Honestly, my mistakes can be so stupid that I just skip right over them! But thank you both for providing me with confidence just to keep going on with this fic. Thanks to Kei-kun and pinkangelsakura for those useful plot bunnies, but especially to Kei-kun since she listened to me rant even while suffering from jet lag. :) Thank you, all four of you.
Yue (CCS): Goody, now I get to do couplings… again *note the sarcasm and disdain dripping in his voice* The couplings will be Seto*Ryou, Honda*Ryuuji (Ryuuji Otogi…not an OC… he's real), Jyounouchi*Mai, and Yuugi*Anzu.
Ryou: Also, PM's hoping that Y. Malik has been banished (or killed), so he's not showing up. *pause* At all.
Yami Malik: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!?! THIS CAN'T BE!
PM: Wah?! Get out! No psychopaths in the author notes!! *shoves him out*
Jyou (Digimon): Then how does that explain your presence? *ducks a slap*
Rated PG for language, shounen-ai, and extreme fluff :P
~ You WHAT?! (The Deal) ~
Otousan used to tell me a story about some poor people who got sprinkled in fairydust. Apparently, the powder worked somewhat similar to Cupid's arrows, except instead of making the people fall in love with the first person they saw, it forced them to reveal their innermost, truest desires. I don't exactly remember much about the story itself, considering how I had been up until four in the morning waiting for otousan because he had forgotten his house keys (he does that quite often, now that I think of it) and, oh joy, the plane had been delayed. What I do remember is that after waking up… well really, I was woken up by this horrific ringing sound. I got a very angry phone call from Honda-kun. Apparently, my other had paid attention to the story, went to a perfume store, bought some powdery substance called 'Fairydust', and used it on the first victim he saw. Namely Honda-kun. Why, I really don't know, but I suppose it is the thought that counts.
To be frank, it really didn't work. Rather ironically, it turned out that Honda had already confessed to Otogi-kun the night before, so getting perfume powdered all over him over a silly story didn't really improve his mood. Poor Otogi-kun, he just didn't know what to say and had walked out, completely flustered. I think it was very out of character for Otogi-kun, but I suppose that when somebody confesses this type of thing to you, it makes you nervous. Even now, several months later, he still isn't very comfortable around Honda-kun.
It didn't help when I later found out that the perfume store was on the look-out for psychotic, white-haired teenagers. My guess is that Yami Bakura had done more than simply buy the perfume, and I was proved correct when the police ended up on my doorstep. I will never forgive Yami Bakura for that, especially after I got my credit card bill back. He did a bit more than just buy perfume, and if this happens again, I'm going to find some way to get a restraining order on him.
Anyhow, when I later told Yuugi-kun and Jyounouchi-kun, they thought it was very funny. Honda-kun didn't think so, he just came into the classroom and glared at me, muttering about psychotic others. I apologized, but I think he is still a bit mad at the spirit. Even if it was last school year, on the second-to-last day of school.
This year is our first year of college. Much to our surprise, we all got accepted into the same college, which means we aren't going to be stuck seeing each other only on vacation. I'm glad, I don't think I could have dealt with it. Not only are these the best friends I could possibly have, but they understand about Yami Bakura. All things considered, they dealt with getting turned into game pieces as well as anybody could possibly expect one to.
On the other hand, Anzu was also very surprised that we all got accepted to Tokyo University. Well, she wasn't surprised that she got in (or Yuugi-kun, or Honda-kun, or Otogi-kun, or myself), she was surprised that Jyounouchi-kun got in. So was Honda-kun, but he was still upset about Otogi-kun so he didn't bother teasing Jyounouchi-kun. It didn't matter though because Kaiba-kun made up for his lack of spirit, and completely wore Jyounouchi-kun down until he was ready to strangle Kaiba-kun.
Speaking of which…
"Kaiba-kun… I don't think I completely understand what you're asking for…" I find myself saying rather lamely. Kaiba-kun sighs, his turquoise-blue eyes looking at the sky in the typical 'why me' gesture. I am sure he is regretting his decision already.
"It's simple," he speaks slowly, as if I am hard of hearing. Or maybe just stupid. I know it's simple, but doesn't he realize what he's asking for?
"There is a major deal going on with my company, and I can't afford to blow it. But the other guy's daughter is taking advantage of that and keeps pestering me, asking me if she thinks she's cute. If she asks me one more time, I'm going to lose it and tell her I think she's pretty but a pain-in-the-ass. Then she'll get mad, tell her father, and the deal will go down. She wants to be my girlfriend, but I can't think of any polite way of refusing without having her break down in tears and make her father break the deal. So I want you to pretend you're my boyfriend so I can get rid of her," he explains calmly. I stare at him, as if he has suddenly grown four heads and eight arms. In fact, I don't think I would be staring at him as much as I am now even if he suddenly did start sprouting extra body parts.
"Kaiba-kun…" I start, but he cuts me off.
"It's very simple. I just need somebody to go to a couple banquets, a couple parties, not that much. The deal should be over in about a week, and then it will be over."
Well, just out of the curiosity of my soul, why did that somebody have to be me?
"Oh," I manage to get out. My throat is dry and the word seems to stick in my throat before being pushed out, probably by a malicious imp living in my body. And I'm not talking about Yami Bakura.
I look at Kaiba-kun. He is quite handsome, I have to admit. I never would have thought he was gay. Why couldn't he just tell this daughter the truth or something? I'm sure she wouldn't be chasing him around then. Either way, if he carries out with this plan, then they will definitely know he is gay.
Maybe this is just his way of doing things. I'm not sure, I am not him. And I wouldn't want to be him… I don't think I could run my own company for two minutes if my life depended on it. I have enough of my own problems, thank you very much, most of those problems stemming from an ancient pendent that currently happens to be hanging around my neck.
Still, the 'why me' keeps floundering in my mind. It demands to be answered. I try to wrack my brains for the answer, but cannot come up with much. To be truthful, I don't think Kaiba-kun even knew I existed, except maybe as one of Yuugi-kun's annoying cheerleader friends (although I must admit, I wasn't in the state to do even that during the Battle City tournament, spending most of time in hospital beds or in the belly of a monster). I have certainly done nothing that would warrant his attention, unless you want to count making a complete idiot out of myself during Battle City. Or maybe he just remembers me getting eaten by a shadow monster. I suppose those are the types of things that people remember. But certainly that does not justify asking me to do this.
I just don't understand. Perhaps it is pity, the poor, pathetic Bakura Ryou who was always being used by the spirit within the Sennen Ring. Maybe that is precisely why. He probably figures that since I was already being used, I wouldn't mind being manipulated again for a week or so.
I look at him. He isn't that type of person, is he? Sure, I have never gotten to know him that well, but still…
Also, how did he know I was gay anyway? It's not like I announced it. (Maybe this myth of 'gay-dar' really isn't a myth… of course, that would not explain why I didn't know about him being gay, so that kind of knocks off that idea.) I bet Jyounouchi-kun told him, he really needs to keep his mouth shut sometimes. You would think that nearly being killed repeatedly would help him realize that.
"Why don't you ask Yami-kun?" I finally ask. And again, I am not talking about Yami Bakura. I wouldn't submit anybody to that torture for all the money in the world. But it always seemed to me that Yuugi's Yami and Kaiba-kun got together quite well, considering how they spend the entire time yelling at each other to stop their self-pity and get up or are trying to beat each other at Magic and Wizards . But they do seem well-suited for each other, personality-wise. Not that I have been making up couplings for my friends, silently pairing them up in my mind.
Kaiba-kun looks like he has just eaten a rotten apple. "Are you joking?"
I wince. Scratch that possibility.
"Yuugi-kun? No, wait, he's with Anzu…"
"Otogi is still wallowing in guilt about what he did to Honda, who is still moping about Otogi. Malik scares me even with his psychopath friend banished, Isis still annoys me, and Mai is dating Jyounouchi. And don't even mention that make inu , I wouldn't date him even if that woman was threatening to marry me if I didn't find a boyfriend, make-believe or not," Kaiba-kun interrupts, giving me that condescending look again, "Are we going to go through every person that we know?"
Of course not. Then we would have to mention Mokuba, and I am quite sure Kaiba-kun will murder me if I dare suggest that, even if it is in good humor. I idly wonder if Kaiba-kun even has a sense of humor. It seems doubtful, considering I have never heard him laugh or seem him smile except at Magic and Wizards or Mokuba.
I wouldn't date him even if that woman was threatening to marry me if I didn't find a boyfriend, make-believe or not.
Make-believe. I feel like an object. How could he do this to me? Oh wait, this is probably why he is doing this to me. He doesn't need to worry about hurting me. It is not as if we had any type of friendship to speak of. Heck, it s not as if we had any relationship whatsoever to speak of.
"Gomen," was the murmured reply. My cheeks are burning, and I'm starting to feel ill. If I could just collapse right here and avoid making a decision, I would welcome it gladly. Even if I have to be in a coma for the rest of the week, I honestly wouldn't mind. Somebody help me, please?
"Look," Kaiba-kun is getting very impatient, I wouldn't be surprised if he just walked out on me, "Please don't be difficult." Excuse me, I'm being difficult? "It'll only be for a week or so. I will even pay you if you want."
My temper is starting to flare. That doesn't happen too often, but being treated like some type of second-hand servant isn't going to make anybody's day. It causes me to stand up, bitterly snapping, "I am simply trying to figure out if you mean this or are enjoying a poor joke at my expense. I am sorry if you are having problems and I want to help you but you don't need to act like I owe it to you!"
Kaiba-kun looks taken aback, and I probably would be too if I wasn't so mad. He stares at me; his eyes look as if they are trying to place me, as if he had never seen me before. Which might not be too far from the truth, we've had approximately one conversation since we've met, and that involved me defending Jyounouchi-kun. I didn't even get to finish the sentence then anyway. I hold my breath. Either he will just ignore my outburst and continue his request… or walk away.
I'm not really sure which one is worse.
To my surprise, he breaks into a warm smile. Kaiba-kun definitely doesn't smile like that much, and certainly never because of me. Now I'm the one who's shocked, and he takes my hand. It's very cold, but his grip is strong and my cheeks are really starting to turn red as his hand warms from the contact.
"You're not what I expected," he states simply.
I'm staring at him again. Somebody call an ambulance, although I'm not sure which one of us needs to get that lobotomy. Maybe both so we can go for a group special, and then get Honda-kun and Otogi-kun to join. I am sure they need one too.
"Does that mean we have a deal?" Kaiba-kun's voice shakes me out of my rapid thoughts… this is not happening, this cannot be happening…
The malicious imp strikes again, pushing out the one-word reply for me.
I groan inwardly. Oh Kami-sama, I am going to be regretting my decision, aren't I?
~ * ~
"You WHAT?!" Jyounouchi-kun practically screams as I do my best to concentrate on different international environmental treaties and policies. Kyoto protocol… Montreal protocol… CITES… of course I am not listening to the hysterical blonde behind me…
It would have worked better if Jyounouchi-kun didn't slam the textbook shut, narrowly missing slamming the heavy cover on my hands. I glare at him, patience spent out from this afternoon's incident, but I think he is quite beyond the point of caring though. Maybe if he had slammed it on my hand and I started screaming in pain, I would have gotten more sympathy. From his expression though, it is rather doubtful. Currently, he is staring at me as if I am the one who has sprouted four heads and eight arms.
"Excuse me, Bakura, but did I hear you right?! Seto Kaiba… I am sure we only know of one, that sleezebag… asked you to pretend to be… be… his boyfriend?!"
The blush is creeping up on my cheeks again as I softly mumble, "Hai."
Evil, vindictive, sadistic imp.
"And you agreed?!" he really is going crazy, I wonder if I can persuade him to join our group lobotomy outing. That would be fun, we'll all just run over to the hospital and get our brains messed up. Which I suppose isn't much of an accomplishment, I am sure my brain is already messed up.
Even softer, barely audible, "Hai."
"I don't believe it," Jyounouchi-kun falls onto my bunk, staring at the ceiling as if he is expecting it to fall on his head any minute. Just when I think the topic is dropped, a bit foolishly on my behalf, I must admit, he jumps up again, "I mean, this is like having Honda run in here in tears to tell me that Otogi is in love with… I don't know, Isis or even worse, Malik!"
"You're overreacting," I reply calmly, sounding remarkably like Kaiba-kun. That certainly doesn't escape Jyounouchi-kun's notice, and he lets out a sound that is just as remarkably similar to a banshee scream.
"You even sound like him! That does it, I'm putting a stop to this!"
Before he can get off the bed, I throw a pillow at him, stopping him in his tracks.
"Jyounouchi-kun, Kaiba-kun asked me to do this for him as a favor. He is my friend," heaven have mercy on my soul, he's my friend? I barely know the guy, and I doubt he knows me either, "…and I want to help him. He did not brainwash me in any way, despite what you might want to think. I chose this out of my own free will."
Angrily, he throws the pillow on the ground.
"Bakura, I don't care about that slime, and I wouldn't care if he suddenly decided to jump off a cliff or the top of his fancy building. What I do care about is that he might be unwittingly hurting you, or even worse, knowingly doing so. Don't you understand? He's using you."
The worst part is that I do already know this.
"Jyounouchi-kun… it will be all right." I can tell that this does not bring much comfort to him. He's not even bothering to hide his anger, but I don't know how to placate him.
"Jyounouchi! Bakura! Yuugi! Get out here now!" Honda-kun's voice suddenly comes through the door… he sounds hysterical, which is something he has sounded like since… well, you know.
Jyounouchi-kun twitches nervously… he's probably afraid that Honda-kun's news involved something about Otogi-kun dating a teacher or something along those lines. Completely forgetting that Honda-kun tends to overreact when it comes to Otogi-kun. Especially these days. He almost had a heart attack when he saw Yami-kun in Otogi-kun's room. He convinced us all that the two were having some sort of an affair until Yami-kun threatened him with a mind crush. Poor guy. I think deep down Otogi-kun really does like Honda-kun, he probably just doesn't know what to say.
It's certainly easier to think about these soap-operaish problems rather than my own new predicament. I wonder idly if it is too late to call Kaiba-kun and back out. My hand reaches for the phone, but before I can lift it off its hook, Honda-kun comes in and drags Jyounouchi-kun and I into the hallway, where Yuugi-kun is shaking his head, uncharacterically rolling his eyes (and praying to the gods, I am sure).
As I try to think of different solutions to my problem, ignoring what is going on (it is usually the same story anyway. Honda-kun will scream, Yuugi-kun will calm him down as Jyounouchi-kun not so helpfully laughs his head off, Honda-kun will try to kill Jyounouchi-kun, Yuugi-kun will try to break up the argument, I will somehow get pulled into a dogpile comprised mainly of fists and obscenities, and Yuugi-kun and I will almost end up in a hospital due to suffocation while Jyounouchi-kun and Honda-kun remain unscathed. Give or take a detail or two, it always happens this way, which is very bad for my health), I suddenly notice that Honda-kun is no longer screaming incoherently. I then remember that it was Jyounouchi-kun screaming incoherently, and now there is a long silence as three sets of googly-eyes make their way towards me. I blink and look at them, trying to ignore the sensation of having a rubber ball bouncing in my stomach, making me want to throw up.
Then, I wince as Yuugi-kun and Honda-kun screech at the same exact time.
I sigh as the three all start to babble incoherently. There is really no point in explaining, as they are all speaking too loudly for me to get a word in edgewise. Besides, what is there to say? All I can do is stand there and hope Anzu or Otogi-kun or somebody else in the dorm comes in to shut them up. But I suppose that is unlikely, considering how Honda-kun's screaming never gets any reaction besides a bucket of water being thrown on all four of us.
Silently praying to every god who ever existed, whether they be past, present, or even future, I hope beyond all that is plausible that I somehow survive this ordeal.
I am not, by all means, a natural pessimist. I prefer to see the good in people, prefer to look for the light at the end of the tunnel (and no, I am not talking about death!) rather than lose hope because of the darkness closing around. That optimism has helped survive certain ordeals… such as a certain spirit in the Sennen Ring… but I've always looked at the bright side of a situation, no matter how hopeless it seemed. Yes, I realize that its probably hard to look at the bright side of anything when you're eaten by a shadow monster, but somewhere in his stomach, I guess I found something to believe in.
However, in this case, I cannot find anything good. I cannot find anything to look forward to except for the end, and that is an entire week away.
~ * ~
"You've got mail."
I raise an eyebrow as Jyounouchi-kun grins. Ever since we watched that American movie (completely not by choice, at least not mine. What happened was that Yuugi-kun and Anzu were always sneaking off… this was before they announced their relationship… and Jyounouchi-kun somehow managed to convince me to spy on them… he can be very persuasive, after all. We ended up sitting through an entire movie, half watching the actors and half watching Yuugi-kun and Anzu make out. Jyounouchi-kun started laughing very loudly during the supposed sad scene of the movie, prompting Yuugi-kun and Anzu to look at us and myself to slink down into the seat as far as possible. Shortly afterwards, they announced what we had all been expecting, but not before giving Jyounouchi-kun a severe tongue-lashing and then some), Jyounouchi-kun has been saying that whenever I open my e-mail box and have some mail. Even if it is junk mail. He knows it annoys me endlessly. (It is my opinion that he is more sadistic than he lets on.)
"It's from Kaiba-kun," I say, a bit surprised. I didn't even know he knew my e-mail, for god's sake. And why would he be e-mailing me anyway?
Jyounouchi-kun growls softly before looking at me expectantly, "Well? Aren't you going to open it?"
"Um…" I reply, a bit flustered. I'd rather not, thank you.
"Probably wants to make sure you're not backing out, that guy," he grumbles, taking advantage of my momentary frozen state to take control of the mouse and click open the e-mail. Inwardly I sigh. My guess is that Jyounouchi-kun has never learned the concept of privacy, but then again, he is a very open person.
"Whew, Bakura, you have to go to all of these?"
"Huh?" I ask intelligently, staring at the e-mail. My eyes widen as I stare incredulously at the computer screen… oh Kami-sama, this just cannot be happening! "What the?!"
"You're going to be busy this next week…" Jyounouchi-kun murmurs, scrolling down the fifty page e-mail or so. On it is a list of times, places, events, and so on and so forth. Meanwhile, I'm twenty seconds away from having a nervous breakdown; either Kaiba-kun was lying to me, or this is his definition of 'a few events'. If so, then I am truly afraid to see what his definition of 'a lot of events' is.
"I can't believe this…" the statement escaping from my lips sounds more like a whimper than anything else, and I can see that Jyounouchi-kun is ready to blow up again, "I have to go to all of these? When am I supposed to have time to study?!" Note the hysterical edge starting to creep into my voice cause Jyounouchi-kun certainly isn't noticing.
"Yes?" my voice is muffled due to the fact that my head is now buried in the pillow I had previously thrown at Jyounouchi-kun. Excuse me while I start whacking my head either with blunt, heavy objects or on blunt, heavy objects. If I can get a concussion, I am sure that I will be in no state to go to these events.
"You better go outside."
I groan before demanding, "WHY?!"
"Well, if this is correct, Kaiba is going to come pick you up in approximately… oh, three minutes?" Jyounouchi-kun points at some of the characters on the computer screen as I stare at him as if he's sprouting a pair of wings, "Apparently, you have an informal dinner party at 8:30."
Resisting the urge to start sobbing, I decide to suffocate myself instead. But nooooo, Jyounouchi-kun refuses to allow me to wallow in my self-pity, and he grabs me by the wrist and starts dragging me outside. I think now that I'm stuck doing this, he's trying to make me regret my decision, that evil person. My legs move as if they belong to a prisoner and are chained together… no, wait, that's exactly what I feel like at the moment.
"Well, if it isn't the make inu," a voice smirks as soon as we get outside. I feel like throwing up.
Jyounouchi-kun gives Kaiba-kun a dirty glare, pushes in front of me (of course, standing there like a pillar of salt, I certainly don't mind), and sticks a finger in Kaiba-kun's face (and it's not even his middle finger, oh joy! Maybe this will work out! And maybe the sky will fall on my head!).
"You had better know what you're doing, Kaiba," he snarls, "Cause if you hurt him at all, I will personally kick your ass the next time I see you. Correct that, I will hunt you down and then kick your as, got it?!"
"Thank you for the warning," Kaiba-kun replies sarcastically, "I will be sure to remember that, bonkotsu. "
"That does it, I'm going to just kick your ass right here…"
"Jyounouchi-kun! Kaiba-kun!" I practically shriek. This has to be a nightmare or something along those lines, or maybe somebody just really hates me. "Yamete! "
Jyounouchi-kun stops mid-lunge, although he is still glaring hatefully at Kaiba-kun, who just rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He is probably wondering if I could get anymore pathetic, but I would rather not test that theory right now. Maybe some divine force will intervene and he will go ask Yami-kun instead. I really do think that he and Yami-kun are much better suited for each other… even if there will be a couple heated conversations between the two.
Luck does not hold. Then again, it never does for me.
"Let's go. I don't want to be late for this," Kaiba-kun mutters. Sighing softly, somewhat in relief but mainly in fear of anticipation, I follow him into the car.
More and more, I believe that I will eventually regret my decision. But it's a little too late for that…
Translations and Notes:
 Pathetic dog
 Magic & Wizards (M&W for short) is essentially Duel Monsters, except the manga name is different from the anime
 Mediocre, average; apparently he likes calling Jyounouchi that (he does it twice in like one page)
For future reference, yadonushi means 'king's property' or 'king's home', which is what Yami Bakura calls Ryou. Also, for convenience's sake, I'm going to pretend Seto has a building in Tokyo close to the university, which would explain why he's able to get Ryou to do this. Also, this entire story will be written in Ryou's POV, which is new for me… ^_^ Hope it isn't too bad so far. Well, not much to say right now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, so I'm off to write the next one. :P This story is going a bit faster than my usual writing pace these days, which is good. I will break writer's block! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Yami: She's insane. Go figure.
Ryou: Let us all get down on our knees and pray for salvation…
Ryuuji: From PM? Heaven forbid…
PM: If it makes any of you feel better, I am considering writing a Lord of the Rings fic.
Legolas: NO! Damn it, why did I have to be so danged pretty?!
*VERY long silence*
PM: Not going to comment on that… er… comment. ^_^ Anyhow, thanks for reading… and for anybody who actually cares about me continuing my other fics… I promise to do it… someday… *whistles innocently* But I have a Shaman King fic calling my name… *kinda shoves Amidamaru and Yoh out of the screen* No, that wasn't the sound of screamed obscenities you just heard…