Dreams and Reality
The change was gradual. So gradual in fact, I don't think that even Kyoya really noticed. A few months after Haruhi had joined our club, I stopped talking about her as much. It kind of went back to how it was before she came… only I was starting to obsess over someone else.
My every thought that would have once been about Haruhi, was about Kyoya now. Because slowly I was realizing just how much he did for me. I'd never really paid any attention to it, but Kyoya did stuff for me all the time.
It wasn't till after Haruhi got mad at me one day that I noticed I was starting to change. We'd been talking, and I thought it was going well, slowly we were starting to get close, when suddenly she got really mad at me. She kept telling me how annoying I was being, and that she didn't know how Kyoya had put up with me for so long, or that she couldn't understand how he could do so much for me when I didn't return the favor.
While normally I would have just brushed it off, and pretended like it hadn't happened, this time was different. It was like suddenly she'd shined a light on me, and I realized what she was talking about. I hadn't noticed Kyoya really since Haruhi came back to the club, but he really did do so much for me. I felt really bad, I mean how do you fix that? You suddenly realize that the person you really should have feelings for, is first of all, male like you, and second of all, does so much for you and you don't even realize it, and third of all, your best friend.
That's when the change started happening, the epiphany I had that day changed me deep down. Haruhi was no longer the one who took up a fairly large portion of my heart- Kyoya was. I found myself thinking about him constantly, and realized, that I had actually been growing feelings for him for a while, I just hadn't realized with Haruhi's presence.
Although I'd had the epiphany and I realized my true feelings, I didn't just immediately stop talking about Haruhi constantly, because I knew that would probably make people suspicious. And I didn't want people to know about my 'change of heart.' So I pretended, but gradually seemed to let the novelty of Haruhi being in the club rub off. So everything basically went back to the way they were before. At least until that day…
I was walking to the 3rd music room after school for our club meeting, when I heard voices coming from inside.
"W-Would you like to go on a date with me?" I heard one of the twins say- it sounded like Hikaru.
"I-I-I'd love to…" I hear Haruhi answer in a slightly breathless voice.
Before they could make any plans I walked in, announcing my presence, and pretending I wasn't just eavesdropping. "Good afternoon! You guys seem to be here early!" I said, sounding very cheerful, which I was. Haruhi found someone that made her happy, and I honestly didn't have feelings for her anymore.
After club, like always, Kyoya and I were left alone in the music room. Normally I'd just sit on the other side of the room from him and watch him, while he did things on his laptop, or wrote in his notebook, but this day was different. "Are you okay? I heard from Kaoru that Hikaru and Haruhi are going on a date…" he seemed cautious, as if he was expecting a bad response.
"No, I'm great! I'm happy that they will both be happy." I said, hoping he didn't think I was lying because I couldn't come up with any deeper reason.
"I thought you liked Haruhi?" he seemed genuinely confused which was hard to make him that way.
"Yeah, liked as in past tense, I'm over it. I don't even know if I actually truly ever liked her like that anyways."
He seemed to be at a loss for words. "…What do you mean?" He asked.
"Recently, I've noticed that I just don't have an interest in her anymore. I think the thing that attracted me to her, was that she didn't immediately just fall in love with me like most women do. It was a new experience. But… now… she just seems like a normal girl, nothing special about her." I said, trying to put my feelings into words without implicating myself.
"Is that why you haven't really been overexcited about her recently?" he asked sounding curious.
"Yeah," I said hoping he wouldn't question me further.
"So… who is your new obsession?"
How am I supposed to answer that?! I can't tell him the truth, if I said 'you' he'd freak out and never talk to me again… what do I do? While I was having an internal melt down, he spoke again, "You know, you can trust me." And somehow, that did it.
I just came out and told him straight, "You." My voice didn't waver, it stayed calm and collected, almost as if I didn't care how he responded… even though I did.
He was speechless for a while. Then he chuckled quietly, "Me hu?" He turned in his chair to face me, "That's an interesting notion… in its own way… So why me?" He didn't seem angry, in fact his eyes were dancing with merriment.
That's when I woke up and realized that it was just a dream. A damn good one at that… If only I could find the courage to tell him that I did in fact love him.
When I got to school that day, not much was different from my dream, except this time, when I got to the third music room, and overheard a conversation it was different.
"Will you go out on a date with me?" Asked one of the twins.
"I-I- I'm sorry… Hikaru, I can't I… I don't like you that way…"
"I understand... it's Tamaki isn't it?"No please don't be me. I don't want it to be me.
"Yes." I could hear the embarrassment in her voice. That's when I walked in, not even caring if they thought I was eavesdropping. I went to my couch and sat down, little purple lines hovering above me.
"Wonder what's got him in such a bad mood…" Hikaru commented quietly. That's when Kyoya walked in.
"He doesn't like hurting people's feelings." He said, walking over to his own couch. I looked up at him so fast I hurt my neck. I saw him looking at me with a smirk on his face. He walked over to me slowly.
"h-How?" I asked unable to articulate what I meant.
"You're so easy to read Tamaki. Especially since I heard the conversation from before also," He bent down and whispered in my ear, "I know you don't like her, and she just said she likes you, so what else could be troubling you?" I nodded slowly in agreement.
"I thought I was being good at covering it up…" I said quietly.
"You can't hide things from me Daddy." He said before walking away.
I looked up and saw Haruhi and Hikaru looking at us strangely, I was about to say something when Kyoya spoke again, "Haruhi, you may want to reconsider who you like."
She blushed cherry red, "Why? Is it wrong to like Tamaki?" She asked.
"Yes, because he's mine," He said giving her a glare. She paled and nodded slowly in understanding. Slowly she and Hikaru left the room.
When they were gone I found the ability to speak properly, "I'm yours? Since when?"
He walked back over to me practically purring, "You've always been mine, Daddy, you just didn't know it."
"If I've always been yours then why haven't you staked a claim till now, mommy?" I asked enjoying out little game
"Because up until now, no one wanted to take you away from me. And you weren't ready yet, you still thought you liked her."He smiled looking down at me the glint in his eyes looking a lot like a predator's.
I shivered. Slowly he crawled into my lap, "If you knew I didn't like her, then why were you afraid that she would take me away?"
He lowered his head till our lips were nearly touching, "I never said I thought she would, I just said she wanted to. I don't want that to happen again." And with that he kissed me.