NA: Hey folks! I'm watching TVD and currently I'm on the 3rd season. So, I decided to try write something of the tv show. Sorry Stephenas, but this fic is a kind of Delena. It's because in the part of the tv show I'm watching now it's much more Delena than Stephena. I liked to much the interaction between Stephena, but I confess I'm also love the interaction between Delena. I promise I'll try to write some Stephena fic in the future too. Anyway, enjoy it! =D
(This note above was written when I wrote this fic originally, it means: February, 22nd. Right now, I'm on the 4th season, but, anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Oh! That is my first TVD's fic, so be nice ^^)
"And this hour holds more meaning than it ever could"
I SHOULD GO
It was turning even more complicated. And the most part of the reason was because I realized I really care about Damon. I care more than I should. With all these things happening and all bad things Stephan did and, specially, said to me… He pushed me up of his life and I have no right to interfere about it. He doesn't want to be with me anymore, or is it what he says, just through the mouth to out, but I can't really spend all my youngness and good years of my life waiting the old Stephan comes back to me. Maybe his humanity was gone forever, or maybe it would come back in thirty years… I have not too much time to wait for that.
And there was that kiss I gave to Damon… I was trying convincing myself that it was just to say goodbye, because he was dying, and in a certain way it was, but wasn't only that. Deep inside me I liked that kiss. And I'm sure Damon liked too.
After it Katherine appeared and said that stuffs. I stared angry to her, but thinking about it now, maybe I'm really starting to love Damon too. Not that I forgot Stephan, anyway. I entered into a terrible dilemma. I cannot handle it.
I always thought I loved Stephan and just Stephan, but know Stephan isn't here, Damon is. And I'm meeting a so kind, protector and good side of him… Would it be craziness? If I say I fell in love with him too? Sounds it like a bitch saying?
That stuff of heart is really complicated to take on. I can't understand myself and I don't have any idea of how I can do it. I don't know what to do with those new feelings that are growing up inside of me. I'm feeling wrong to felling it, but love isn't wrong. What I'm supposed to do?
Damon said he loves me already. Stephan said he loves me too that time. I don't want make two brothers fighting for me. Although Stephan gave up at the moment he ran after Klaus. But… I really need to believe that everything is gonna be ok. I need to believe I'll find the answer inside my heart or even my mind, in case my heart doesn't be reliable.
I spent hours of my time, dear diary, since I was a child, writing what I think, what I feel, what I don't want tell to anyone, but right now I simple don't know what write here. I don't know because I don't know what to think, what to feel, what to do… I'm completely lost.
Maybe I should stop to see Damon, maybe without see him that feelings die day by day. Maybe what I feel is just attraction, just passion. Damon is really sexy, I have to admit. He is really handsome and now I know I little bit of his humanity, I think any girl would be lucky to have him as a boyfriend.
Of course it doesn't mean I want to be this girlfriend.
Ok. Seriously. It is taking a dangerous way, Elena… Stop to think about Damon!
"Thinking about me?" said Damon, appearing suddenly at my bedroom.
"Damon!" I screamed scared "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I just thought about pass here to see how you are going…"
"I'm fine" I said.
"Really?" his tone was full of irony. He didn't believe I was really fine. And he was being good to read me, because I was lying to him. Lying even to myself.
"Ok. I'm not fine, ok? But don't worry, I'll be fine. I want to forget Stephan, Damon. And I will."
"I like of your determination. But you don't need to force yourself."
There was some seconds of silence I was say I'm not forcing myself when he interrupted my possible next untruth and completed what he said before.
"I'll bring him back to you."
He was starring with that look, that look that says one hundred times he loves me without say anything at all. I don't know what more was touching: he said he was bringing to me the man I love or he said it even loving me that much…
"Thank you, Damon" I said "You are-
But he was gone.
Was that part of Damon that was more enchanting to me. That kind of things he could do to someone, that lovely person he could be if he wanted… Maybe when he looked to me that way my heart jumped a little bit. I cursed myself because I know he heard it. As a vampire, he is able to know that kind of things.
Maybe I should apart me of him, but can I?
I don't know what is happening with me, and what I'm doing, but there's a really good side in Damon appearing now. And I'm loving it. And I'll keep beside him while he was like that. Actually, I don't hate him that much anymore. Actually I think I like him. I don't know if I like him more or less than Stephan, but I like him. And it's simply wrong to finish this right now.
Let time bring to me the answers that my heart need.