A/N: hey there! Sorry for my long absence and lack of legitimate material now that I've returned. :P This is just a little goofy fic I started on my plane ride home to try to get my muse up and running again. I remember finding something similar to this in another fandom several weeks back, so the idea for the story isn't mine, but the material in this is straight out of my little brain :) all original! I will likely do 20 rules per chapter and there isn't going to a real plotline for any of this, BUT if you'd like me to create a backstory for a particular guideline, shoot me a review or a PM and let me know! I'll see what I can do for it! :D The same goes for any rule ideas, and if I use your rule I will definitely credit you. :) Stay awesome my friends and remember: feedback, feedback, feedback! I love to hear what you think of my work


"BOYS!" Master Splinter called to his sons. Seconds later, the four turtles stood around their rat father, looking quizzically between each other. Master Splinter smiled warmly and gestured at April, who stood slightly behind him. "As you know, Miss O'Neal will be staying with us, as we caused the destruction of her apartment. Since we will have a new member of the household, I feel it is appropriate that we set guidelines for ourselves. I would like all of us to sit down and compile such a list..."

1. Switching masks to confuse newcomers is not nice

2. Yelling cheesy one-liners when entering a battle is frowned upon

3. Don't even try talking to a pre-caffeine Donatello; it won't end well

4. Don't ever try to use Raph's sais as forks, and if you do, DON'T LET HIM CATCH YOU DOING IT!

5. Never let Leonardo cook

6. Do not disturb sleeping ninjas

7. Trifle not with Master Splinter's "story time"

8. It is not appropriate under any circumstances to switch the labels on Don's lab sample

9a. Please refrain from releasing any of Don's live specimens.

9b. Actually, just…. don't even go in Don's lab, crazy shit goes down in there.

10a. Donny and April are not a "thing". You can stop asking now.

10b. Raph and April aren't either

10c. Leo and April are DEFINITELY not

10d. Mikey couldn't even get a girlfriend if he was a human

11. Raph and Casey ARE NOT fuck buddies

12. OH MY GOD GUYS THAT IS SO GROSS WE ARE BROTHERS!

13a. Do not call us "Karate Frogs"

13b. or"Kung-fu Lizards"

14a. Calling April "babe" will earn you a swift kick to the shins

14b. Casey Jones is the only exception to rule 14

15. Always show up for training on time

16a. Yelling "cowabunga" at any time is embarrassing and makes you look stupid.

16b. You're jealous of my awesome catchphrases

16c. I'm not jealous that you look like a moron

17. Spray painting Casey's hockey mask pink is totally NOT hilarious. (Of course we have pictures!)

18a. Because you "require a shrubbery" is NOT a valid excuse to run around topside even if you do bring foliage back with you

18b. Whatever, Leo, your prude rules don't count

18c. I'm not a prude!

18d. Are too!

19. Moving all the furniture in the lair 5 inches left to throw off the occupants doesn't work when said occupants are ninjas

20. Stop asking Donny to fix things if you're going to break it again