The first rays of sun had grasped the skyline as hues of pink and orange splayed upon the horizon. It was another morning, the aroma of coffee and toast stirred in the flat owned by Hermione and Ron. The most recent lovers spat had Ron sleeping on the couch as his girlfriend took the main bedroom. Maybe Harry was right; maybe if they tried to understand each other things would come easier. However, it was an effort he was second guessing, as Ron questioned if he still loved the same Hermione years ago. Could they still mend what was left of their relationship? They were too different now; their only commonality was to yell at each other for the flaws they saw but never took the time to correct it, as both were stubborn. Holding such high opinions about their beliefs, some would say that their relationship was based upon competition of superiority. It wasn't founded on love, but more of what they wanted to change about the other. Ron never imagined for such a turn of events, as he was lovesick for Hermione for most of his life, jealous at every guy that took an interest in her. His envy was greatest when it concerned Harry, but it wasn't because he was the chosen one. His best friend, the great Harry Potter in all his fame had a heart that loved like no other, the hero of the day as he would be the one to wipe the tears Hermione had shed. It was fear of losing Hermione to someone that seemed so much better than him, but now… the spark was gone, replaced by the spews of hatred that came out of their mouths as they fought over the most absurd things. Why they were still together, Ron knew the reason but it was for selfishness he could never disclose. He wasn't the only one that fell in love with Hermione, as many men have, so too did Harry. Even a blind man could see that the love Harry had for his girlfriend was more than platonic, as he noticed how Harry would look at her. Harry saw Hermione with love in his eyes, a familiar gleam as Ron used to give her the same look as well. When his best friend had dated Cho Chang and his own sister, not once did Harry look at either girl as if they were the only one left in the world. Ron's desires were not always of greed for love, but when it came to Hermione it became difficult to be selfless. Harry had always succeeded where Ron had failed, but to be surpassed by his best friend in love, proved to be the challenge he had to overcome. As the memories flooded back, Ron knew in his heart that Hermione was his first love but as the feelings faded into resentment, he selfishly kept her for his own gain. It was wrong to do such a thing for envious desires, but maybe he could learn to love again, Ron would just have to want it as badly as he needed her two years ago.
Streams of morning sunlight poured from the bedroom window, illuminating the moving pictures of memories during Harry, Ron and Hermione's years at Hogwarts. The frames were hung on the walls and photographs, covering the corkboard Hermione had kept next to the desk. She would be lying if she said she didn't glance at the photographs often for that's all Hermione had been doing, it seemed. Their smiles, laughs, those were the days where their only concern was who had to eat the vomit flavored Bertie Bott's Bean. Then the war came, pictures had become scarce, as there were less and less people to share what happy memories with. Hermione found herself staring at the photographs where her and Harry were only present. Colin Creevey's pictures of their 14-year-old selves in the Library, a grin plastered on his face even though Hermione had forced him to study and her first ride on a broom with Harry's laughing smile as she was never really a keen flyer. Sometimes her eyes would wander at the pictures taken during the dates she had with Ron. The photographs of sharing an ice cream with her boyfriend as a big cherry sat atop his nose and holding hands while visiting Hogsmeade brought her back to the moments like those where it wasn't always about fighting. Hermione loved Ron, she truly did but it wasn't the form of love that she was tongue-tied trying to explain. It didn't feel like the sort where her heart swooned, even if she wanted to feel that way she couldn't. She knew she wasn't being fair, as Hermione knew that Ron had been in love with her for years but kept her heart reserved for another. It wasn't that she had lied about loving Ron because she did, it just wasn't the love Hermione felt for Harry. Seeing the one she fell for with Cho then with Ginny just gave her the feeling that he could never love Hermione, the bookworm. So she sought to bring her heart to the one that did love her. It was wrong of Hermione, really, to stay with Ron because she wasn't who Harry had chosen but the void of incompleteness had set upon her.
Faint whistling of a boiling kettle of water sounded throughout the small, yet cozy flat. Hermione made her usual morning cup of tea, although she could have used magic being a muggle born did bring about muggle ways of living. This of course, while Hermione did not think it was such a bother, Ron however did. Bred from a pureblood magical family, magic seemed to be the easiest to do a certain task. Character was always a question between the two, as they kept a competition that constantly battled for who was right and who was not.
"Good morning." Unbeknownst to his girlfriend, Ron had already been awake. The thoughts of their relationship left a mental unrest, a struggle to keep fighting or to just let life run its course. It was time to apologize, no matter how much Harry didn't see that Hermione was a "nightmare", he was always right.
"Morning, sleep well?" Hermione had her back turned to her boyfriend, pretending to be so interested in pouring her daily tea. She didn't say her words with malice, but she didn't say it with love either.
"No, I haven't done much of sleeping lately. But, have you… um… been sleeping well?" Calm and casual, that's how Ron wanted to keep it. He had said what had seemed to be almost a million apologies during the two years, in his eyes, Ron saw "sorry" as a chore. But he couldn't think that way anymore, it was quite unfair. I want to try again this time, maybe it'll turn out better.
"No, neither have I. Just been laying awake, waiting for the sun to come up." It was true; Hermione's words revealed that she never really slept. Nightmare or dream, she couldn't find peace during the evenings. It was either a vision of Harry dying at the hands of Voldemort or just another reflection of arguments with Ron.
"Hermione, I just wanted to say… I'm … I'm sorry for what I said two days ago, about you being so…you. I was frustrated and I didn't mean it to come out that way." Ron wasn't always the first to apologize, but taking initiative for his actions seemed like the best way to go for now. He was sincere though, Ron was very sorry… but he didn't quite know how long peace would last. It could take anywhere from an hour, to a day, a week or maybe a month.
"Ron… I … look I'm sorry too, for the things I said, for the things I did. I just want to put it all behind us, start anew." Hermione set her tea aside and took a step towards her red-haired freckle faced boyfriend. It couldn't hurt to try one more time, but how much could either of them really endure? It felt as if they didn't understand each other, always putting their times of strife before selflessness.
Looking down upon her, Ron studied Hermione's face for a few moments. Every detail of her visage, even in such beauty time had passed to reveal a boyfriend that had yelled resentment at his girlfriend. Her brown hair gently falling past her shoulders and her eyes smoldering brown. Hermione is a girl that Ron was supposed to have unconditional love for, never ceasing with age. Yet why didn't he feel the same yearning in his heart?
Hermione's eyes ascended to meet her boyfriend blue ones. She was staring at the face of someone she spat words of hate towards when anger erupted from her mouth. It was no longer an exchange of "I love you's" and "You make me happy", it hadn't been that way for quite a while. So long ago that it had only become a faint memory.
It had been a few weeks since any romantic interaction between the two. Their arguments built this barrier of not talking to each other for days, only making eye contact then quickly looking away in annoyance.
Ron leaned down and his lips descended to Hermione's pink ones. The kiss wasn't brief, but it wasn't long either. The lips of the freckle-faced boy were gently placed upon Hermione's, his arms wrapping around her small waist. Hermione reciprocated her boyfriend's attempts of closing in the space between them by snaking her own arms on Ron's neck.
However, the effort to make the kiss passionate, filled with love as it had been before was unsuccessful with Hermione. There was no spark, no fireworks, and her knees did not feel weak. The feeling was gone, for she felt like she was kissing nothing. Although it was wrong for her to feel so, being Ronald's girlfriend, she would be lying if Hermione said she wasn't thinking of a certain raven-haired boy while kissing her own boyfriend. The way Hermione's lips would perfectly mold onto Harry's as their mouths danced in harmony, the thought of something so intoxicating made her feel so… unexplainable. Happiness, bliss, joyous, ecstatic, there weren't enough words she could think of to describe what Hermione felt when she was with the one she truly fell in love with.
It wasn't only Hermione that felt the loss of desire in the kiss, for so too did Ron. The way his lips were placed upon his girlfriend was not what he would call perfect, but just not enough to send his senses into frenzy. Unlike before, where one look from Hermione's eyes could make Ron's cheeks turn bright pink. Ron's thoughts weren't swarming of faithfulness either, as when he closed his eyes to kiss his girlfriend; it was another beautiful woman that he pictured. The vision was of Lavender Brown, his first girlfriend in sixth year. In the attempts to drive the lovesick feelings Ron had for Hermione, he poured all his attention into the dirty blonde haired Lavender. It was a constant snog-fest, as the fellow Gryffindor's, when Ron and his first girlfriend were in the same vicinity as each other. Although she was merely a girl to fill the void Hermione had left in his heart, Ron now began to believe that she wasn't "just a girl". He perceived Lavender to be a woman he strongly desires, not only sexually but someone who had replaced the position of his current girlfriend.
I don't love him anymore, I don't remember the last time I even said "I love you" to Ronald. I guess it really was Harry, it's always been him. I just hope I'm not too late. Someday, I'll tell him and the only thing I would hope for is for him to love me too, love me the way I've always loved him. Hermione's thoughts were not of a future with Ron as her husband, but of Harry being with her, safe in his arms. She envisioned a life that wasn't centered upon resentment, but a life that was focused on the love Hermione had for Harry, and the love he had for her. Could Harry honestly reciprocate a passionate and true love for Hermione? Or would he only look to her as a best friend?
I don't love her; it doesn't feel like love, it hasn't been since I could remember. It only makes feel as if we're both destined for something greater than just fighting. Hermione would be happy if she were with Harry, and I with Lavender. They say that if you truly love someone, you should set them free but this wasn't the case for Ron. It was because he truly no longer loved Hermione, he would set her free to the man she deserves, to the man that loves her more than Ron ever could. It was better this way, happier as they could move on with their lives no longer gasping for air from their screams of hatred.