Speaking the Words
By Lady Peter
Author's Note: Thanks to Push, my patron saint of fandom and, dare I say, mentor. Thanks also to AnnaFan, who has given this story a rating of 95% palatability for British ears. And for that remaining 5%: sorry, Loves!
This story is part of the Carnal Spirits series, which explores individual moments of intimacy in the H/L relationship, largely within one year post-Endor.
When she was a girl, secretly reading the women's journals, it was called "talking dirty." Apparently only sluts or very daring girls did it, and men of course. It sounded so silly and embarrassing: "oh baby, that feels so good," or "who's your daddy." Baby and Daddy? Never.
And then the articles told you how to tell your partner what you wanted in bed: don't embarrass him, but never "fake it." Be clear, but not bossy. You could tell him right out, or wait till tomorrow. Maybe just make encouraging noises at the right times, or even gently move his hand. Oh Stars, the whole idea made her stomach hurt.
She was sure that when she met the right boy, it would just work out. Lightning would strike and no words would be necessary. There would be no awkwardness because they would understand each other so well, and nothing more would need to be uttered beyond the occasional cry of passion. After all, they would already be as intimate as two humans could be, right? What else could you need to say? What she didn't understand, couldn't really understand until experiencing it, was the power that words could have to stir desire.
Her early encounters did nothing to change her initial views. There had been a few boys she'd been interested in before everything with Han began. Things in these relationships had never gotten very far. It always seemed as if, once she felt ready to go to the next level physically, it ended for one reason or another. The most she'd ever done was kiss a lot, stroke a guy's shoulders or back, and once or twice she'd even been bold enough to touch the hardness inside a pair of pants. But never more. Similarly, she'd had her breasts touched over a shirt, but nervousness was the extent of her feelings then, and anxiety that she was letting the boy go too far too fast. The idea of speaking actual words during these encounters was unthinkable.
In the beginning with Han, it was no different. They made out a few times before actually having sex, largely due to logistical barriers that kept them from falling into bed immediately. On these nights, although her passion and willingness were much greater, her shyness was barely less than when she'd had her first kiss at 15. The same wasn't so for Han, she suspected. He didn't have too much to say for the most part (those same logistical barriers limited their privacy), but one night when they actually had a little bit of time and space to themselves, he surprised her.
She found herself in his lap, eagerly tonguing his ear and running her hands up and down his sides, not really sure how any of it had started. She felt his hand under her skirt, sliding up her thigh and between her legs. As he explored this new country her breathing got uneven, and then his fingers parted her folds to stroke her, and she started to breathe in ragged gasps.
This pleasure was something she'd only begun to know before now, and she felt drunk. She kissed his neck, hiding her face as she felt more and more out of control. She hoped he didn't think she was too girlish. [Did he? No. He thought it was the sweetest thing he'd ever known.] Her hips began rocking instinctually, and then he said it. "That's right... that's how you'll move when I'm inside you."
What. Was. That?!
She froze for a moment, and Han pulled his head away from her, a wicked smile on his face. Far be it for him to feel self-conscious, of course. He just held her gaze and continued to move his fingers in that insanely delicious way, and just like that the spirit of the thing overtook her again, and she was wildly turned on. She pulled him to her in a shameless open-mouthed kiss and pushed herself against his hand. Leia thought that maybe this whole sex thing was going to work out, after all.
Her own words didn't come until after they'd consummated their relationship. The way she felt when they moved together, making love, sometimes just seemed to need expression: he had to know how she was feeling. It began with a simple chant of, "my Love, oh my Love," that seemed to tumble from her mouth just when he'd entered her, and it always seemed to inspire a particular soft groan and muttering of "yes" that she found very rewarding.
"My Love" seemed innocent enough, but Leia found that it just opened the door to more intimate talk. Next, the sensation that she'd feel after several intent minutes of intercourse began causing her to occasionally cry, "you feel so good." She would have instantly been paralyzed with embarrassment had Han not encouraged her at every turn, either intensifying his stroke or engaging her further by asking, "Yeah? Do you like that? How about this?"
So, fairly quickly Leia became comfortable with the simplest of talk in the bedroom. Han was such a stranger to embarrassment himself that it was easy to take chances when he was by her side. If she said something that came out wrong they'd just laugh about it and move on. For someone so adept with words, then, it shouldn't have surprised her that before too long she was inspired to use them as an erotic tool: words that by themselves could drive passion to greater heights.
That day there was a large meeting for about 75 people. It was regarding the negotiation of galactic shipping lanes, and Han had spent 10 minutes standing in front of the group explaining the trading intricacies of a particular region where he had a lot of experience. Leia found herself increasingly captivated as he spoke, fascinated with his gestures and the sound of his voice. Before long she was simply staring at him through a haze, thinking of all the things she'd known him to do with that body when they were alone together. Did everyone look at him and know? Did they look at her and know? Suddenly she felt very exposed sitting in that crowd, staring at her lover as he talked on about Gods only knew what.
When the meeting ended, Leia exchanged pleasantries or answered questions for the colleagues who approached her, then did her best to make a beeline to Han on the other side of the room. When she reached him, the room was beginning to empty and he'd extricated himself from his own follow-up conversations.
"Hello, Love. I never knew you were such an accomplished public speaker." He took her hands in his and delivered one of his patented grins. [And he was beginning to learn just what she was thinking of when she called him "Love."] "Well, you know I don't like to talk out of turn, Princess. No one likes a loudmouth."
"What are you doing right now? Are you free for a bit?" She smiled and shifted a hair closer to him. "Could you come to the Falcon? I have to be at the hangar in an hour, but maybe - Crap - General! Good to see you back."
Leia turned towards the very unwelcome sight of General Rieekan approaching. "It's good to be back, General Solo. May I steal the Princess from you?"
Leia stepped away from Han and answered, "of course, General. I need to head towards my office anyway. Han, I'll be stopping by my quarters at 1800. Can you meet me there and we'll finish discussing this?"
"Absolutely. See you then." That was better, anyway, she thought. An hour wasn't nearly enough.
"Now." Leia couldn't believe what she was doing: turning Han's face away from her breasts. Usually she was more than happy to let him pleasure her there indefinitely, but today she wanted him inside her right away. So she kept her hand on his cheek and told him what she needed: him, now.
"Are you sure?" His brow was furrowed in mild concern. Leia had no idea where he'd learned to be such a gentleman in the bedroom, but tonight it almost irritated her. Did he not think she knew her own body? He didn't seem to understand exactly what she was feeling, so she decided to make it clear.
She began by taking his hand and guiding it between her legs. "Gods, you're so wet." He held her cupped in his hand for a moment before letting his fingers explore her slick folds and feel the extent of her arousal. She settled herself more closely against him. "Can I tell you something? I've been wet for you all day." His look was part shocked, part incredulous. "Really- it's true."
"Why?" he asked. She'd somehow been able to deliver her opening gambit while looking him in the eye, but now she allowed herself to cheat a little bit. She interspersed the next sentences with small kisses and licks to her favorite parts of his neck and shoulder, all the while positioning herself beneath him and inviting him in.
"I was sitting in that meeting... and I watched you... and then I just.. felt this surge... sitting right there at the conference table." This proved more than enough to convince him that she was in absolute earnest. With an anguished-sounding "oh, fuck" he was inside her in one long stroke.
Leia sighed contentedly as they began a slow but powerful rhythm. She'd achieved her goal, but somehow something more needed to be communicated. "I couldn't help it. Just from looking at you. I'm so crazy for you." She received no answer but a deep hum and what might have been a nod against the pillow. This was all she felt was needed, as their rhythm was beginning to gain momentum, but of course as soon as he had a moment to ponder it, Han spoke up again.
"What were you looking at?"
"When you were watching me? What were you looking at?"
She spoke again in little bursts, but this time more from pleasure than hesitation. Each utterance seemed to drive Han on, and speaking the words herself somehow made Leia feel each sensation of their love-making more intensely. "Your shoulders..." Leia remembered how they had looked that morning in his tailored uniform, and that vision blurred into the sight of them naked before her now. "Your hands..." And she could feel each muscle in his back as he thrust. "Your wrists- Oh, Gods..." Every image from earlier combined with the present moment to create a sparking energy. Each place where their bodies touched was alive with it.
By now she was on a dizzying plane of consciousness, feeling half awake but also very aware of waves of pleasure that began between her legs and extended out through the entire room. She pulled herself together enough to keep speaking, because she hadn't told him all yet, and he needed to know.
"Your hips..." Now each push and pull of them between her thighs was brought into stark relief. "Your ass-" And she felt him stroking something so deep inside her that she was finally speechless. The last word had barely escaped her lips before she came, one of the rippling, sweet climaxes that he could ride her through before coming himself. When he did, he seemed to want to say something, but all he got out was a string of beginnings: "You are- I- Oh my-" before the wordless pleasure took over.
Later, lying in the darkness, Leia took great pleasure in asking him, "were you trying to say something earlier?"