Hey, everyone! It has been so very long.
I am deleting this fanfiction (among others on my page) for numerous reasons. I wrote this when I was 12-13 and now that I'm in my 20s, I just can't cope with this still being online and getting feedback. I'm so happy that so many of you liked this, but now as an adult in my twenties, I really don't like the themes being portrayed here. I've grown and matured as a writer (and as a person), and I just can't handle the Riverdale-ness of this fic. Really goes 0-100, doesn't it? I didn't do a full sweep of this, but I'm sure there were just chapters and themes being displayed that just were... not it. I could not even get past the first chapter without losing it, so I'm sure things just get worse as it progresses.
I don't regret the experiences that I had while writing this. It was lovely to gain feedback, to just write for fun, and it really helped me escape some hard and difficult times. And again, I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed reading this! Hopefully it did the same for you.
I also cannot wait for the Percy Jackson show. I am beyond hyped. The characters in this fic were totally... not them. In essence, if I cringe at the thought of Rick Riordan finding this, it shouldn't be up (at least for me personally). That said, I really did appreciate every review, every comment, and every PM. It helped me grow so much as a writer. Thank you for that journey!
I'm going to throw in a bit of this FF just so it doesn't get taken down (as I really love to go through old reviews - I don't want to see those deleted), but I won't ever re-upload the fic.
It all started simply.
No. Simply was the wrong word. There was nothing simple about my relationship with Percy Jackson. It was complex; forever changing, teetering between the small line of love and hate. I'm not even sure now if I know what those words mean. I know how it felt to be in love. And it wasn't perfect. The experience itself was vastly horrible. I detested every argument, every word that we were unable to take back, and sometimes, even the happier moments. Love filled me to the brim with confusion, masking my senses. And hate- well, what's the difference? Between love and hate? I've come to realize that there is no difference. It's one-sided, you see.
Someone can hate a person without loving them, but you can't love a person without hating them.
I was naïve back then. Percy was too. He drowned himself in self-pity. It was, in all honesty, pathetic. He hated himself so much that it soon became selfish. He did bad things because he thought it made him and the universe even. He wanted to be happy, but kept stopping himself. Hatred turned to selfishness and selfishness transformed into self-pity.
I was far from perfect- I still am, but now I know a lot better than I did. I was ignorant and believed I was smart enough not to get hurt. I believed with every inch of myself that I could play him without getting sucked into the mess. If Percy Jackson was pathetic, I was rock-bottom disgusting. I was stereotypical. My beliefs were hypocritical. I thought I could be just as manipulative as he was.
Then everything changed, and I found myself drowning in problems I wasn't strong enough to handle.
Life made him the way that he was, but he didn't do anything to stop it either.
Manipulation. He thrived on it. Percy Jackson enjoyed toying with girls. It was like a hobby, really. Closely similar to fishing. He would flatter them with compliments- things they were insecure about- and slowly reel them in. He would give them enough space to flee if they grew uncomfortable, but they never did. It's because he was an expert. In a way, it was impressive. I watched, from a distance, as my old best friend seduced girls. I knew all the basics. What I didn't know is how badly emotions can get in the way. Feelings. Pesky things. What made me able to play him was, if it comes down to it, peer pressure. And as much as I hate to admit it, I wanted to play him. I wanted to be special. Didn't everyone want to be that one person to get someone to change their ways?
That was my first mistake.
And it started a few months after he hurt one of my closest friends- a friend who would slowly turn to an enemy.