Title: Cashmere

Rating: G

Characters: Neal Caffrey, Peter Burke, Diana Barrigan, Clinton Jones, Mozzie

Spoilers: None

Word Count: ~ 1200

Summary: That one time when everything changed, for a moment.

A/N: This was supposed to be crack. Hmmm…. It all started with a photo of an animal that could be either a llama or alpaca. Then the chaos started, and just because, it also became a fusion fic ... guess with what show :P

Beta credit to amazing mam711.

Cover art by aragarna.


The case was ending; at least that was the silent hope of the people in the van. Neal and Peter were almost there, finalizing the transaction that would allow them to arrest a network of antiquities smugglers.

The anticipation in the van was electrifying.…

"This is beautiful." Neal's voice, full of appreciation, was clearly heard via his microphone. He was handling the last pieces of the exchange.

"Is it real?" This time the question was asked by Peter, posing as a buyer; there was also a note of awe.

"Yeah, it's—" Neal hadn't finish the activation phase when a high pitch sounded everywhere, causing Diana and Jones to cover their ears. Moment later there were no more sounds coming from their equipment.

When they stormed inside, instead of a warehouse full of crates and people, they found it full of crates and animals of all kinds. For a moment they all froze in surprise, till a monkey jumped from one pillar to another with a loud shriek.

Diana took control. "No one and nothing leaves the building, Jones." Without waiting for his nod she pulled out her mobile, quickly dialing a familiar number. She wasn't looking forward to explaining this situation. It was sheer luck that the first time something like that happened, unreal, it was Diana and Jones that were affected. Granted they hadn't been changed into animals, and Neal took it way too calmly, but then he'd confessed he had seen an artifact in action before.

It took almost an hour to corner in one place most of the animals they found in the warehouse. There were a few they knew were around but were not able to get to, like the small snake, hidden behind one of the crates, which was really difficult to reach. Or the cat, the one with black fur and white socks, that jumped on the beam and scarpered high as possible. They were trying to corner a llama with a young one when there was a weird noise coming from the larger animal. A party horn.

They looked at each other in surprise, and then almost jumped out of their skins at the voice behind them.

"It's afraid; I wouldn't go near if I were you." Mozzie stood hidden behind a crate, only his glasses and peak of his head under a "Animal Control" cap peeking out.

"Moz! What are you doing here?! And how did you get in?" Diana spun around to face the smaller man.

Moz just shrugged and pointed to his hat. "I heard about the situation; you should really look more closely into what people are smuggling."

Jones took another step toward the animals and the strange noise sounded again; this time he could see the llama's lips move a little, spreading in the middle. He ignored it and a moment later he successfully dodged a spit, but only for a moment.

"Told you; you're making him nervous," Moz was quick to point out as Diana handed Jones a cloth to clean slobber from his face.

"Yeah and it's not gonna make it easier to catch those llamas if they continue to spit, and we still haven't found Peter and Neal."

Moz looked at them with mirth in his eyes. "And what animals do you think Neal and Peter are? Junior Suit?" He then made a show of cleaning his glasses, casting a short look towards the animals in the corner, which had calmed down when attention was no longer on them.

"Well … Peter would be probably a wolf. An Alpha taking care of his pack, and he would be protective of Neal.…"

"Or a bear, a wounded, angry bear, probably." Diana added, and Moz just tilted his head, urging them to continue.

"Neal would be a monkey—they always take what they want—or a magpie—they are rumored to steal anything that shines." Mozzie scowled at Jones but still didn't say anything; the smaller llama made a strange noise that he couldn't really identify. Somewhere between a laugh and a protest.

"No, he would be a leopard—fast, mostly innocent-looking when he wants, and quick in action." This time the sound coming from the animals was more like a laugh, and this time it did get the trio's attention.

Mozzie took a step forward without waiting for the suits; they done enough damage already.

"There are a few things you should know when you approach an animal, Suit. First is to know what animal it is."

He continued to take another step closer, and got an apple out of his pocket. "The bigger one is a llama: they have coarse fleece, are very brave and serve as herd guards. So if you want to get to their pack, you need to tame it first." This time the llama was not making any sounds, but was observing Mozzie closely till he was close enough to eat part of the apple right from his outstretched hand.

The smaller one stopped hiding and was extending its neck towards the hand with the treat. Moz continued his lecture. "And the smaller one is actually not a llama, but an alpaca, a close relative. But much lighter, with soft and luxurious fleece, very gentle, and can learn tricks." He smirked when the alpaca made a quick dash for the apple and then hid again. This time he came much closer, and while the llama still tried to block him, the alpaca eagerly shoved its mouth into Mozzie's jacket, stealing the rest of the apple.

"These are Peter and Neal."

"No way." Both agents shook their heads in disbelief.

Moz moved even closer to the wall, pushing the animals aside and showing the agents a slightly smaller crate topped with two artifacts that were part of the exchange.

"I'll be damed." Jones whistled.

They could hear the snake hissing behind the crate.

"So we have everything, and everyone. Just how are we going to change them back?!"

When Diana tried to touch the artifacts, Moz quickly batted her hand away with a purple-gloved hand. Llama and alpaca heads hovered over each of his arms.

"That requires a specialist, Lady Suit." He quickly packed both statues into a silver bag with purple insides and a moment later there was a hiss, a bang, and flash of white that made them all cover their eyes, and rising from the bag was smoke.

But when they looked again, Peter and Neal were standing behind Mozzie, and their suspect, in Peter's steel grip, was pushed towards Diana.

"A wounded, angry bear?" Peter growled, a small smile tugging at his lips.

She smiled. "Welcome back, Boss!" and quickly got away. Yeah, her boss could be a bear; better to scram while she could. Peter slowly put himself together, straightening his jacket.

"Jones, will you take care of the evidence collection?" At Jones' nod he shot a stay-out-of-trouble look at Neal and followed Diana.

"Moz—" Jones stopped short; Moz had disappeared with the artifacts, the evidence, in hand. "Dammit."

Neal narrowed his eyes at Jones who was pretending to be busy with looking for Moz.

"Jones. A magpie?" Neal looked at the agent with reproach.

"Well, you do have a tendency to steal shiny things."

This time Neal just smirked. "Allegedly." Straightening his jacket, he followed Peter to the exit, discreetly hiding Jones' car keys in his pocket.

The End