'I promise,' I tell him and then his lips find mine again. Our kisses are hunger, passionate and our hands roam. I tug at the bottom of his shirt, fear is pointless now. I know what I am about to do and I need this memory to take with me and to leave with him. We pull away long enough for his shirt to come off and then crash back together.

The next time we pull away for breath his lips begin to travel. My breathing is heavy as his lips trace my jar and then begin to travel down my neck. His hands tug at the hem of my shirt, and I answer his unspoken question by moving my hands down to help him pull my top over my head.

I've never had much use for bras being so small and this morning decided to go without. I see the wonder in his eyes as he gets his first look at my bare breasts. I am beginning to feel self conscious, but before I can make a move to cover myself his lips are back on my neck, while his hand find my newly revealed peaks. I moan as his fingers tug gently on my nipples and my back arches as his mouth takes over his ministrations on my left breast.

I am panting, and I can feel desire pooling in my centre.

'Tobias,' I gasp, Desperate with desire. The sound of his names only seems to spur him on and his hands travel down and begin to undo the button on my black jeans. I raise my hips to make it easier for him to slide them off and then I feel him … there.

I moan as his hand moves under the elastic of my underwear and he cups me intimately. I hear his moans echo mine at the feeling of how ready I already am for him, and I can feel him hard on my thigh through the fabric of his pants.

When his fingers begin to circle my nub I grunt and my hand is somehow in his hair, pressing his mouth firmer against my breasts.

I let out a sound of protest when his fingers stop moving and then grunt when I plunges a finger inside of me. The pleasure is so intence and unexpect that I reflexively tighten my hands in his hair. I am no longer aware of the noises I am making when he adds another and then another finger.

He pumps inside of me, getting gradually faster until I can feel the coil inside me burning and then scream out my release. He continues to work me down for my orgasm for a few more seconds before moving back up to lay beside me.

'That was ….' He starts, looking for a word to describe what just happened between us.

'Incredible,' I breath still struggling to cat me breath , 'I want you Tobias.'

The words don't have to effect I expect, and instead he looks unsure of himself, for the first time since I have known him.

'Are you sure?' he asks, obviously conflicted.

As an answer I lower my hands and begin to undo his pants, not liking being the only one so bare. It only takes a few seconds for us both to be completely naked and he groans when my hand closes tentatively around him, and begin to move my hand.

'Is that okay?' I ask quietly, and he managed a strangled, 'A little tighter,' and grunts in pleasure when I comply. I am just beginning to get the hang of it when he pulls away.

'If you want to do this then you're going to have to stop, or It's going to be over before we've even started.'

I nod and hear a ripping sound as he opens a small square packet and then uses his hand to spread the condom over himself. Then suddenly he moves so that he is hovering over me, his member almost aligned perfectly to my entrance.

'If you want to stop tell me now … I'm not sure I'll be able to stop.' I roll my eyes at him in answer and he grins at me, but almost immediately goes back to his usual serious expression. 'It's going to hurt this time and I'm sorry.'

I nod at him, and then gasp as he presses slowly inside me. It's pain, but I can also feel pleasure underneath. The feeling is so alien that I want to move. He grips my arms tightly and then quickly thrusts the rest of the way in.

I feel a ripping sensation and this time all I feel is pain. I shut my eyes against the feeling, and open them again when it begins to fade. Tobias is holding himself very still over me, but I can tell that it is an effort. His arms are shaking either side of me, and his face is strained with the effort.

I move my hips experimentally up into him and we both gasp at the movement. This time it feels good as well as painful and I urge him to move. He starts to thrust into me slowly, in shallow movements and gradually all traces of hurt are gone and It just feels good, so impossibly good that I automatically begin to raise my hips to meet his.

As the pace picks up our groans and moans of pleasure increase in volume and then I feel the familiar coiling in my stomach and know that I am close.

It takes three more thrusts and I am undone. I shut my eyes and see colours against the back of my eye lids and cry out his name. His movements are erratic as I work through this second orgasm and just as the last vestiges are leaving me his body tenses and then shudders as he finds his own release.

He pulls out of me and collapses next to me. It takes a while for us to catch our breath and we don't bother to get dressed. He rolls over wrapping an arm and a leg around me, and it makes me wonder if he knows what I am about to do.

It takes a lot of effort not to cry, or just rethink and stay but I force myself to stay awake, listening to his breath for a sign that he has fallen asleep.

When I am sure that he is out I allow a few tears to escape my eyelids, and gently extricate myself from him, moving around to get dressed. Before I move to the door I ghost a kiss over his forehead and begin the journey that I'm sure will end in my death.