A/N - I NEVER write mpreg. To me, that is the crackest thing imaginable. But then I was rewatching "Tall Tales" and this idea popped up, and the little voice said "On a scale of One to Slow Dancing Aliens, how crack is mpreg?"

A/N 2 - I recognize that the writers of Supernatural made a decision to kill off Gabriel, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.

No one knew Dean Winchester better than his brother Sam.

Sam knew exactly the moment everything changed.

Actually, he saw where things were headed before it happened.

The first night Castiel stayed in the Men of Letters bunker with them, Dean announced that Cas would get his own room to occupy for the night, because him sitting around watching Dean sleep was creepy. Even as Sam opened his mouth to point out that Cas could just stay in the area they had deemed the 'War Room' or the kitchen since the angel didn't sleep anyway, Dean was leading Cas down the hall to the bedroom that shared an adjoining bathroom with Dean's room.

Sam bit his tongue in curious amusement rather than mention there were four other bedrooms that did not share a bathroom with either of the Winchesters.

The second night Cas stayed, Dean got riproaring drunk. Not in the 'I'm having a good time and I just had a couple too many drinks' kind of way, but more in the 'Something is seriously wrong and I'm not going to talk or even think about it' kind of way.

The next morning, Sam managed to get in a good half hour of making as much noise as possible before Cas healed Dean's hangover, because that's what little brothers do.

That evening, after a meal of home cooked hamburgers, the three of them gathered around the table in the War Room, looking for information on the Angel Tablet. After an hour of looking up to find Cas watching Dean intently and Dean shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Sam announced he was taking his book to his room so he could stretch out on the bed.

Half an hour later, Sam turned on the radio to drown out the sounds coming from Dean's room. Within minutes, the radio was more static than music. Sam went into his bathroom, turned on the water in the shower, and sat down on the floor to continue reading.

The light bulb shattered at the same moment that Cas shouted Dean's name.

Dean was going to pay for this.

Except the next morning, Sam couldn't bring himself to tease and torment.

He was downstairs making coffee when he heard Dean shout "Cas?"

Doors slammed, footsteps stomped down the stairs, and Dean appeared in the kitchen, hair uncombed, wearing jeans that were zipped but not buttoned, a shirt open down the front to reveal a lovebite just above his tattoo, and barefoot.

"Is Cas down here?" he asked, looking around the room.

Sam shrugged. "Haven't seen him this morning."

"Dammit." Dean slammed his fist down on the counter and stormed out of the room.

Sam started to follow his brother, pulling up short when he found Dean, hands on the War Room table, leaning over the place where Castiel had been the previous evening.

"Cas, you picked a helluva a time to disappear on me. I know you're busy, and it's not your job to perch on my shoulder and all that, but please. Just let me know that you're all right and you don't hate me."

Sam backed away silently, returning to the kitchen. By the time Dean came for his coffee, he was dressed and hair combed.

He didn't mention Cas.

But he was also usually quiet.

Dean announced he was turning in just after supper, which was pizza because Dean had said he wasn't in the mood to cook.

A short time later, Sam heard Dean's voice, and crept down the hall to see if Castiel was back. He stood outside his older brother's bedroom door, and realized that Dean was praying to Cas.

"... your feathery ass down here. You know I hate not knowing what's going on. Whatever it is, just tell me. If you don't want to see me again, fine. Just tell me. It's better than being left hanging like this."

The following day, Dean was in one of the worst moods Sam had ever seen. He snapped at Sam several times. When Garth called to check in and said no, he hadn't seen Castiel, Dean threw his phone against the wall.

That night, Dean didn't even completely shut his door before he shouted for Cas.

"So you're giving me the angel brush off, huh? Fine, go on and pretend it didn't happen. You should know by now, pretending doesn't make it real. Why don't you man up and face the truth? Screw you, Cas. Oh, that's right. I did."

Dean's mood didn't improve much in the following days. His drinking reached pre-Purgatory levels.

At night, his petitons to Cas alternated between rage filled diatribes insisting that the Winchesters didn't need the angel and mournful pleas for him to come back, or at least send word to Dean that Cas was all right.

Unfortunately, Dean's prayers went unanswered.

"So what is this, Cas? Blowing me off after a one night stand? Oh believe me, I'm the king of one night stands. You can just tell me. Act like adult for a change instead of an overgrown baby in a trenchcoat."

"Cas, I don't know where you are, or what's going on, or why you're not answering me. If you're being punished for what happened between us, for what we did, I'm sorry. Please just let me know you're okay."

It took a little over three weeks, but Sam knew the moment Dean gave up on Castiel coming back. The anger that had radiated off Dean was gone, replaced by a bitter resignation.

That night, Sam unashamedly listened once again in the hall.

"Cas, dammit, I'm through with this. I don't know what kind of game you're playing now, but I'm not going to be part of it any more. I can't do this. Don't answer me, okay? Ever. Just don't come back. I don't want to see or hear from you again."

Suddenly, footsteps stomped toward the door and Dean roughly grabbed the knob. Sam was barely able to slink back into his own bedroom without Dean catching him.

That night, Dean finished off the bottle of bourbon in the trunk of the car, and the rest of the scotch and a bottle of whiskey they found in the Men of Letters bunker.

Sam honestly began to worry about alcohol poisoning, but Dean was so angry and belligerent that his brother let the discussion drop.

That night, an entire herd of cows dropped dead in a small town less than 50 miles away.

Shortly after dawn the next morning, the same town was hit with a tornado and the First Baptist Church steeple was struck by lightning, despite the fact there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Within an hour, a swarm of locusts devoured an entire cornfield and the water in the river turned red.

By noon, every demonic omen the boys had ever heard of had hit this town.

Sam all but poured black coffee down Dean's throat, promising him that he would feel better when they were working a case, while carefully avoiding the fact that he even knew what was wrong.

By the time they arrived at the scene, Sam driving because Dean was still drunk enough to make driving a little to risky, Garth had deduced that a nearby abandoned barn was the most likely scene of the demon nest.

Sure enough, they found sulfur on the barn door.

Loaded to the maximum with salt guns, holy water, demon trap carved bullets, and Ruby's knife, Sam and Dean kicked the door open a little after 5pm.

They did not find a nest of demons.

Instead, a lone figure stood inside, his hands on his hips.

"It's about freakin' time you two showed up!" Gabriel announced.

"Where are the demons?" Dean asked.

Gabriel shrugged. "There aren't any here. This was all to get the Winchesters here."

The brothers exchanged a look.

"You set up all the demonic omens to lure the two of us here?" Sam asked.

Dean threw some holy water on Gabriel just for certainty's sake.

"I probably deserve that, you just don't know it yet." Gabriel made a face at his attacker. "But yes, Sam, I did set this up to get you here. Well, Dean mostly, but it's probably best to have you along too."

"What for?" Dean asked.

"Because that 'Property of Castiel' the two of you have carved into your ribs prevents me from coming to you, so I had to make you come to me." Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Why?" Sam questioned, folding his arms.

For the first time since they had known him, the archangel actually looked apologetic for a moment. He looked at Dean. "I did something, that I meant as a joke. But I had no idea what was going to happen after that, and it's made a huge impact on your relationship with Cas."

Dean stared at him for a moment before answering. "You mean, when he and I ... "

"No, sleeping together was all the two of you." Gabriel smirked and shook his head. "I take no responsibility for you taking my brother's virginity."

Dean's eyes widened and he froze briefly before looking over at Sam.

Sam shrugged. "I kinda figured it out."

"And ... and you're okay with it?" Dean choked out.

"No." Sam frowned.

Dean paled.

"No, I didn't mean it like that." Sam shook his head, holding a hand toward Dean. "I'm fine with you having a relationship with Cas. I'm not all right with what he's done to you. The way you've been so moody and depressed and how much it's all hurt you."

Gabriel held up a finger. "That's where my blame kinda starts, here."

"Did you do something to him because he slept with me?" Dean's eyes narrowed and his stance moved into a defensive position.

The angel made several faces over the course of a moment, as if considering how to answer the question. "This is probably the point where I should take you to Cas and we should all talk about what's going on."

Dean had the Angel Sword in his hand in a heartbeat. "Or maybe this is the part where you tell me why I shouldn't gank you here and now."

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and immediately the sword in Dean's hand felt like it weighed a ton. It fell to the ground, with Dean reaching his other hand to clutch his now sore shoulder.

"Look, Castiel has enough problems right now." Gabriel glared at Dean. "I wanted to give him some more time to get his head around everything before we told you what was going on, but he heard what you said last night. That you were done with him. You have no idea. If he had one, you'd have broken his heart. That was the worst thing you could have said. If you care about him, don't go in there guns ablazin'. He doesn't need that right now."

Dean frowned. "What in the hell is going on?"

"Sam, get the sword and put it up." Gabriel instructed.

Once Sam had the angel blade secured, Gabriel stepped forward and touched both of them at once.

They landed in what appeared to be a nondescript hotel room, nicer than the places Dean and Sam usually stayed, but still far from the Waldorf-Astoria.

Castiel was sitting on the bed, wearing his trenchcoat, facing away from them.

"Hello, Dean." He said without turning around. "Sam."

"Cas, are you okay?" Dean asked, stepping closer, concern evident in his voice.

The dark haired angel turned to face them with an odd look on his face. "That's a very complicated question right now."

Sam narrowed his eyes at Gabriel. "Enough bullshit. Tell us what's going on. Now."

Gabriel shook his head and gestured at Dean and Castiel. "You know how they were. All the longing from afar, too afraid to tell one another how they felt, the unresolved sexual tension. It was making Cassie here downright bitchy. And you know how I think. Just desserts and all that. If Castiel is going to go around acting like he had PMS, he should have the parts to go with it. So I did a little tweaking to his internal workings without telling him. Although in my defense," Gabriel tilted his head at Dean. "What I did to him wouldn't have mattered if it hadn't been for what you did to him. I had no idea this was the point in time the two of you would choose to take your 'profound bond' to a new level."

Dean looked back and forth between the angels. Cas looked almost ill. Gabriel looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Sam's eyes suddenly widened and he stood up straighter with a sudden intake of breath, looking at Cas, then Dean, then back at Gabriel. "No, no, no." He shook his head. "Tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying."

Castiel sighed.

Gabriel tilted his head the other way.

"All right, someone tell me what the hell is going on, right now!" Dean roared.

"Congratulations, Dean." Gabriel smirked. "Cas is pregnant."

Dean's head whipped around to look at Cas.

Cas didn't meet his eyes.

Gabriel shook his head.

Sam stared at his brother with wide eyes, as if he weren't sure whether shock, horror, or laughter was the appropriate response.

Dean moved around the bed in front of Cas. "Is it true?" he asked softly.

"Yes." Cas nodded, finally meeting Dean's gaze. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"We'll talk about this." Dean looked over Castiel's shoulder. "Right after I kill your brother."

Gabriel saluted Dean. "That's my cue."

He disappeared with a flutter of wings.

Nearly hysterical laughter bubbled out of Sam. "Dean, we have got to talk about safe sex."

"I had sex with a virgin male angel!" Dean protested, standing. "I really didn't think I could get any safer!"

"You slept with a supernatural creature!" Sam argued. "How can you not expect something bizarre to happen?"

"This from a guy who boned a demon, a werewolf, and a suspected siren!" Dean threw his hands up.

"Yeah, but you've knocked up an angel and an amazon!" Sam pointed out.

"And a human." Cas offered.

Both Winchesters' heads snapped to look at him.

"Ben?" Sam asked.

"Ben." Cas nodded in confirmation.

"Condoms, Dean." Sam shook his head.

"Yeah." Dean snorted. "Too late now."

An awkward silence descended for a moment, until Sam finally looked from Dean to Cas, who still weren't looking at one another.

"I think the two of you have some things to talk about." Sam suggested, heading for the door.

He found himself in the parking lot of a small motel in the mountains somewhere, probably North Carolina or Tennessee. He walked to the edge of the property, seating himself at a picnic table in a grove of trees where a creek meandered gently, and watched the sun set behind the trees.

Five minutes later, the door of the motel room was thrown open, and Dean stomped out, slamming it behind him. He was across the parking lot and stomping down the road by the time Sam made it to his feet.

He watched his brother's retreat for a moment, then made his decision. He went to the room to check on Cas, leaving Dean to cool off.

He tapped on the door softly, and it opened on its own, even though Cas was still seated on the bed across the room.

Angel mojo.

"Cas, are you all right?" Sam asked.

"That's ... " Cas looked away.

"Yeah, you said that's a complicated question right now." Sam agreed. "Let's start with something easier. Is Dean just taking a few minutes to get his head around this?"

"We were discussing the details of the situation. Dean became distressed." Cas stared at the floor.

"Ok, what upset him?" Sam took a deep breath, forcing his frustration down.

"I believe the entire situation." Cas glanced up at Sam.

Sam managed not to roll his eyes. "Why don't you tell me what you and Dean talked about?"

"He asked if I was all right with what happened between us. I told him that the physical act of sexual intercourse was the one aspect I had no concerns about." Sam grimaced, but Cas carried on obliviously. "He asked how all this happened, how I became aware of my condition. I explained that while I was watching him sleep, I sensed another presence with us. After some time, and processing through all other possible explanations, I realized that he and I must have created a child. I did not understand, so I sought out Gabriel, who confessed to me what he had done. Dean asked why I didn't come back right away. I explained that Gabriel and I were trying to find the answers to questions we knew Dean would have before I did so."

"What kind of questions?" Sam prodded.

"What has become our most pressing dilemma is how the child will be delivered." Cas looked down at his stomach for a moment, then back up at Sam. "Gabriel believes it would be too risky to the child to attempt any further modifications of my vessel, such as creating a ... "

"Yeah. Got it." Sam held up a hand.

"The other possibility would be to find some way to perform a version of a Cesarean section, but we have been unable to ascertain how to cut me deeply enough to deliver the child, other than with an angel blade ... " Cas trailed off.

"Which would most likely kill you." Sam finished for him.

"Yes." Cas nodded sadly. "Dean asked me if I could smite the child now, and then let Gabriel remove it. I refused. I care about
Dean. I will not harm a part of him. Especially not one that is also a part of me, our son, created during ... "

"Stop!" Sam clapped his hands over his ears.

Cas tilted his head and looked at Sam curiously.

"It's a boy, huh?" Sam lowered his hands and gave Cas a half smile.

"Yes." Cas smiled for the first time, placing both hands on his middle.

Dean walked for what seemed like an hour, until he finally sat down on a rock overlooking the creek that ran beside the road.

"It's beautiful here." said a voice behind him.

He leaped to his feet, reaching for his gun automatically. "Chuck?" he frowned.

"Hello, Dean." the prophet sat down beside him.

"What the hell ... how did you get here?" Dean snapped.

"I came to talk to you." Chuck shrugged.

"How ... you got an angel riding around in that vessel now?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"Not ... exactly." Chuck spread his hands.

"Then how did you just pop up here?" Dean narrowed his eyes. "You've never been able to just zap in and out before."

"I'm more powerful than a prophet." Chuck answered.

Dean stared at him for several minutes before rasping hoarsely "Are you God?"

Chuck smiled and nodded.

Dean snorted. "You know, all the things I was going to say when I finally met you face to face ... "

"I'm aware of your grievances, Dean." Chuck smirked. "But I'm here to talk to you about Castiel."

"This!" Dean jumped to his feet and pointed at the smaller man. "This is the worst ... All the shit you've put me through before, Hell, the Apocalypse, losing Sammy, his soul, the Leviathan, Purgatory ... but this?" Dean shoved his hands through his hair. "I can't do this! I can't leave Cas when he needs me, but I can't sit back and watch him carry my child for nine months knowing he's going to die trying to bring it into the world!"

"Castiel will be fine." Chuck said softly.

"What?" Dean stomped closer. "Did you miss the whole conversation he had with Gabriel?"

"Did you forget I'm God?" Chuck reminded Dean.

Dean stopped, staring at the other man for a moment.

Something warm suddenly flowed over Dean, and he felt calmer. He felt that there was hope in the situation, for the first time.

"Did you just mojo me?" he demanded, suddenly angry again.

"Yes, and I'll keep doing it until you settle down enough to listen to me." Chuck answered.

Dean felt the warmth flow over him again. He sat down beside Chuck again on the rock.

"You and your brother have served mankind far and above what I could have asked of anyone else." Chuck told him. "Thank you. You always wanted a family, ever since you were a kid and you used to pretend you were Sam's father, rather than his brother."

Dean eyes widened.

"I know, you never told anyone that. As you got older, you never thought you would have a family and a home of your own, but you always wanted one. You pushed your own wants and needs aside to sacrifice for others. I always intended to give you a family. Had things gone differently, you could have married Anna in her human form. Or you could have remained with Lisa and Ben. But neither of those really made you happy. Castiel is the one whom your soul loves. So when Gabriel decided to play his joke on Cas, I took the opportunity to give you your family." Chuck explained.

"But Cas can't deliver the baby," Dean protested.

"He will. I'll work it out." Chuck shrugged.

"What about after that?" Dean pressed. "What's going to happen to our kid? Is it an angel or human? What's going to happen with Cas? Is he just going to leave me and the kid and go back to Heaven? And what about Sam? Doesn't he deserve a happily ever after?"

"Your son will be healthy." Chuck assured. "He will be a nephilim, a hybrid of human and angel. He will have powers, not as strong as Castiel's, but he won't be completely human either. He will have his own form, like Anna, rather than using a vessel. Castiel has earned his retirement, if he chooses to stay with his family on earth, which he will. I will leave it his choice whether he wishes to retain his powers. If the two of you continue hunting, they would come in handy. But if he wishes to forsake them, and live completely as human, his decision will be honored."

"What about closing the Gates of Hell?" Dean continued.

"It's not meant for you to do." Chuck shook his head. "Closing the Gates of Hell would disrupt the balance of earth. There always must be some element of evil. Otherwise, the good will overrun and become evil themselves, and there will no longer be good."

"How are we going to hunt with a kid?" Dean snapped. "I'm not going to raise my kid in ten motels in thirty days like I was."

"You have the bunker now." Chuck reminded him. "And there are three of you now. That way two can go on a hunt and one can stay home to research and babysit." Chuck smiled. "But Sam's happy ending is coming soon. She'll hunt with you as well."

"So I get an angel and Sammy gets a hunter, huh?" Dean snorted in amusement, before his face fell. "I had figured, if I was ever going to have a family, it would have been Jo."

"Oh no." Chuck shook his head. "Much too volatile. She could have ended up with Sam, but not you, had things gone differently."

"Sam and Jo?" Dean scoffed. "So much for his apple pie life."

"Sam wasn't any happier with Jessica than you were with Lisa." Chuck said. "Both of you were just going through the motions because you thought this was what you were supposed to do. Her tragic death is what convinced him that she was the love of his life. But he never would have ended up with her. If it would have been someone that far back in your lives, he could have ended up with Jo or Sarah Blake." He looked at Dean and smirked. "You could have ended up with Bela."

"What?" Dean yelped, jumping to his feet again.

Chuck snickered. "It would have taken a lot of things falling into place, and obviously, they didn't."

"Yeah, well thank God they didn't," Dean grumbled.

"You're welcome." Chuck's eyes crinkled in amusement. "So now I"m going to send you back to Cas. One last thing. He's not going to tell you, so you suggest it to him and score some points. He'd really like the baby's middle name to be James. He feels like he owes Jimmy a lot."

Dean paled. "Wait. Jimmy's not ... "

"No," Chuck shook his head. "When I sent Castiel back to Stull Cemetery, I sent Jimmy on to heaven."

"Robert James Winchester." Dean smiled.

"I like RJ." Chuck nodded, reaching out to place two fingers on Dean's forehead.

Dean found himself back in front of the motel room door. He knocked, to have the door snatched open by Sam.

The younger brother narrowed his eyes for a moment at the older, then nodded and relaxed, apparently satisfied with whatever he saw in Dean's expression.

Dean walked across the room, knelt in front of Cas, placed his hands on either side of the angel's face, and kissed him, slowly and softly until they were both panting for breath.

"It's all going to be ok." Dean promised, leaning their forehead together. "We're going to be ok." He looked up at Sam. "We're all going to be ok."