I finally decide on Jamba Juice.
Tobias sighs and walks in. I pull out my phone and start the recorder.
He walks up to the worker.
"Hello what can I get you today?" The guys asks.
"Oh. Well, what do you have?"
"We mostly have smoothies, sir."
"Hm. Do you happen to have cake?" When Tobias says that I know he's not kidding. He loves his cake.
"No, I'm afraid not." The worker is still patient.
"What about chocolate cake?" Tobias presses.
"We don't have cake of any kind."
"Are you sure Johnny? Or are you just saving it for yourself, so you I don't have to share, you selfish bastard!" I try not to laugh but a snicker escapes me when 'Johnny' doesn't know how to respond.
"Um... No?" He says uncertain.
Tobias narrows his eyes. "Very well. I guess I'll have a smoothie."
"Well, Johnny boy, I think I'll have myself a wild berry smoothie." I grin at his bad farmer accent.
"Alright. Name?" Johnny asks.
Tobias's face darkens and he gives a scary smile.
"I think you know what my name is. You're just too scared to admit it. Don't be afraid. Join me, and we shall live on the dark side together."
"Um. Okay." I almost burst out laughing at that response.
"Oh and one more thing. Make sure you don't put any ice in my smoothie, can you so that for me?"
Johnny nods slowly and turns away, obviously weirded out. I grab Tobias's hand and run to the far side of the store where I burst out laughing.
"You're good at this!"
He smirks. "I'm interesting."
I scoff. "Yeah right! And what are you going to say calls he calls you?"
He smiles mysteriously. "You'll see."
Then we hear him called and I pull my phone up again.
"Darth Vader your wild berry smoothie is ready."
Tobias smiles and walks a few feet away before yelling.
"My name isn't Darth Vader! It's Peter Mellark you idiot!"
He walks up to the smoothie guy and they start arguing about his name.
"What?! Darth Vader is from the dark side, not Peter Mellark!"
"Shows what you know! Darth Vader is secretly obsessed with bunnies and Peter Mellark is a badass! Everybody knows that!"
"Have you even seen Star Wars?!"
Tobias gasps in mock offense. "Just give me my smoothie!"
"Fine!" The guy says and shoves the smoothie at him.
"What the hell is this?!" Tobias rages.
"This isn't a smoothie! This is juice!"
"What do you think makes a smoothie a smoothie?!"
Tobias cocks an eyebrow.
"The ice you idiot!"
"I didn't ask for ice!" This argument keeps getting funnier and funnier.
The worker finally breaks down and slams his head on the counter repeatedly.
Tobias smirks. "My work here is done."
He claps his hands together and we walk back outside.
"Oh my God that guys was so mad!" I say when we get out.
He chuckles. "Was that good enough for you? Can we go now?"
"Two more." I say.
He groans while I decide on the next store.
"Sephora." I say and he groans even louder.
He stumbles in and I start recording.
He picks up a tube or mascara and walks up to a worker.
"Do you have this in lavender?"
She turns around. "You wear makeup?" She asks genuinely confused.
"Yes." He says and his face scrunches up like he's about to cry. I giggle.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Of course you like makeup. You know what? I'll give you a free makeover. How does that sound?" She says patronizingly. Tobias turns to glare at me and I nod quickly telling him to take the makeover.
He sighs. "Okay."
She does his makeup and not only does he look ridiculous, he has to pretend to like it.
"Oh my god it's perfect!" He squeals when he gets the mirror.
"Do you have blue blush?" He asks pointing to his cheeks.
"No..." she says questioningly.
"LIAR! You do have blue blush! You chuck at your job! You're suppose to be helping us. You are a failure."
She starts to cry and he pays her on the back awkwardly. "Someone had to say it."
Then he walks back over to me but I'm already in hysterics.
"You're horrible!" I say between a laugh.
"You told me to." He shrugs. "Besides, it was true." I laugh even harder and when I finally calm down, I have the perfect idea of where to go next.
"Coach, you're going to Coach."
His eyes widen. "What? No! Not like this!"
"Thats the best part!"
He shakes his head and crosses his arms.
"Don't be such a baby!" I say pushing him into Coach.
He finally gives up and walks in. He goes over to a purse and peer tends to be staring intently at it.
"Oh meh gawd this is like, totally adorbs!" He says in a teenage girl tone.
Everyone stares at him. "But I hate the color! Don't you hate the color? " he says using the same voice and asking another customer.
He walks over to one of the assistants.
"Do you have this in burgundy?" he asks loudly.
She shakes her head.
"Oh meh gawd you're such a diva I can't stand it!"
Everyone is still looking at him like he's crazy but he just keeps going.
"But seriously darl, that dress does not compliment you!" She raises an eyebrow. "And if you need some tips on makeup I'd be happy to give you some!" I almost laugh out loud because he looks like a clown with his makeup.
The store is completely silent, waiting for him to say something else.
He puts the purse back and looks at all the women surrounding him.
"I think you guys could all use some fashion advise!" He laughs at some outfits. "I mean seriously." He then walks out and I follow.
My jaw drops. "You did not just do that."
He smirks. "Oh, but I did. And let me tell you, I wasn't kidding about all of it."
We start laughing and walk to his car. I get in and he looks at me suddenly.
"Your bag." He says. My bag? Oh! My bag!
"Oh you're right thanks, I'll be right back."
I walk to the alley and am glad to find my bag still there. I'm about to walk back to car when a hand clamps over my mouth.
I was thinking the story would be about 30 chapters long what do you think? Keep reviewing and I'll keep writing! I love you! XOXO