It Happened by the Willow Tree
AN: I do not own anything, except for my ideas which just come out of nowhere.
Rated M: For themes/content.
While still away on their Neverland adventure Emma finds herself immersed in endless dreams that end up with her keeping distance from Killian, but only for a short while.
The ship rocked back and forth gently as Emma's eyes remained closed, sparks of light playing behind her eyelids. Her shoulders felt tight, like a coil of rope was holding her in place. She felt as if she were floating, drifting towards a door. Once in front of it Emma eyed it curiously before placing her hand on the knob.
She emerged out of it walking straight into a grassy meadow; flowers spotted here and there adding vibrant colors to the scene in front of her. The sky up ahead was becoming an ever growing twilight. The breeze hit Emma in the face making her hair blow in the wind.
Emma smiled lightly but froze as she caught sight of the figure in front of her. She bit her lip, and then let her mouth hang open. She swallowed against the lump in her throat mostly out of nerves, completely flustered and wanting to leave Emma accidentally stepped on a piece of branch. It cracked under her weight; Killian sensed it was her and smiled to himself before turning to face her.
For a moment she was only just able to stare. Stare at his soft, dark windblown hair as it flew around in the breeze, her eyes slowly moved as they landed on his eyes, they were impossibly blue and if you stared at them from different angles they changed from light to a darker shade, almost as if you were staring into a swirling whirlpool or a vortex. Mesmerized Emma moved closer meeting him half way; he looked down at her gray eyes and reached out to gently brush her cheek with his knuckles.
Simply out of habit Emma grabbed at the hand and leaned into the touch. No one was as gentle like he was with her, and it made her feel safe, at home.
"Where are we?" She whispered.
"Somewhere only you and I can see. There is nothing here but us; nothing could harm you while we're here."
Emma wasn't listening to him explain, she was too busy watching his face, concentrating on his cheekbones and the way his jaw moved as he spoke, she was so transfixed by him it was bordering on the lines of ridiculous. At last her eyes landed on his mouth, his lips were in a thin line, cracked from the dryness in the air. A faint voice called to her.
"Emma, are you even listening to me?"
She shook her head and came back to reality. "I'm sorry, where did you say we are?"
He let out a laugh, and smiled. "I said this is a safe haven," he looked at her more closely "Are you sure you're alright? You seem a bit flushed."
Crap. She thought silently.
Emma's heart raced in her chest, as she moved a tiny bit closer, the wind got rougher and set chills down her spine. She started bringing her arms around herself, but stopped. Emma cursed herself for acting so flustered but whatever this was she wanted it to continue.
"Could you hold me?" She asked.
He tilted his head a little, trying to read her. Sometimes it was near impossible, other times it was easy. He shook off his worry though and held his arms out towards her.
Emma smiled lightly and walked right to him. It surprised her how easily she fit into them as Killian wrapped them around her. Emma's rested her head on his shoulder, everything about him was warm, as she held him closer, she felt small but she liked it.
He breathed out and she felt strands of her hair move at the top of her head. As they stood there, they both remained silent.
Only slightly backing away, Emma took hold of his arms in hers and looked up at his face. It was just so beautiful it pierced her heart. She let out a shaky breath, continuing to stare.
He placed both hands on her face suddenly.
That can't be right though. She thought.
Killian sensed her worry. "What is it?"
"Nothing," she replied, still completely struck by the realization. "It's just that, this doesn't seem real. Is it? I mean what if it's all a dream and I suddenly wake up, what if you are just a figment of my imagination and you aren't really here."
"It's a dream, but its real, all the light touches, longing stares and so on are real. I'm real. And however long you have these dreams, the outcome will happen eventually, that need you feel to have me close, the flutter in your chest at the sight of me, it will drive you mad until you can't stand it, you will want it more than you need oxygen, even if you keep your distance. "
Emma couldn't help but love the sound of that. Even with her thoughts screaming at her not to in her head. She ignored them as she held him close again, she could smell the scent of rum and sea on him and it comforted her. Slowly she looked at him again but only quickly before she placed a kiss on his lips. They felt fuller against hers, Emma noted and they shaped together perfectly too. She smiled into the kiss, and tilted her head down, so their foreheads were touching.
Completely curious, she asked. "Say I do have more of these dreams, what will happen in the next?"
He laughed out of habit. "That my sweet Swan girl," he bopped her gently on the nose, "is completely up to you."
Emma sat bolt upright in her bed, completely dazed from the picture that just rolled into her head. And while it shocked her, she couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of it. Completely awake with no chance of sleep she made her way out of the dusty cabin and made her way up to the ship deck.
Hair ruffled, Emma quickly ran her hands through the golden locks as she gazed at the horizon in front of her. The sun just peeking over in the edge reflected a glowing orange shimmer over the already glistening water.
Completely alone she tried piecing the dream she had together. It had been just so perfect, and she wanted to know more about why she had it in the first place.
She mulled over all the things that would cause it to happen but in reality the only thing she could come up with was the fact that both her and Killian had finally come to terms with was finally trusting and understanding each other. Emma sighed, she just KNEW there was something else, and she wanted to find out what it was.
A sound came from behind her. "Is something the matter Swan?"
She whirled coming face to face with him. He always managed to be seen but not heard. "Nothing's wrong, I was just…thinking."
"Care to share?" He asked.
She smiled. "I had a dream."
He perked up at that. "Good dream or bad dream?"
"It was a good dream." She replied.
"And what happened in the dream?"
Emma froze. Should I tell him? She asked herself.
After a moment she replied. "Well I walked into a meadow. And saw you, standing at a distance."
"That can't all be that happened."
She swallowed. "It wasn't, you held me. And after a while I kissed you. I wanted it to stop before I really did, I just couldn't. So I said that it didn't seem real being there with you that I would just wake up. Making it seem like you were just a figment of my imagination and that you weren't really there."
"And what did dream me tell you?" He whispered.
"You said "It's a dream, but its real, all the light touches, longing stares and so on are real. I'm real. And however long you have these dreams, the outcome will happen eventually, that need you feel to have me close, the flutter in your chest at the sight of me, it will drive you mad until you can't stand it, you will want it more than you need oxygen, even if you keep your distance. " "
"Well, dream me sounds like a great catch." He noted. "Are you sure, you actually dreamed it?"
"Yes I dreamed it. And so I was curious. My exact words were. "Say I do have more of these dreams, what will happen in the next? " "
"You laughed at me, then and told me "That my sweet Swan girl is completely up to you." And then I woke up."
He looked at her considering, like he wanted to tell Emma something that's been eating away at him since meeting her.
Emma felt like a tub of ice water was being poured on top of her, the silence was that long. And it made her feel really awkward. She just couldn't help comparing how much more open the Killian from her dream was. She felt completely rotten for thinking such things but…
"I know the silence is maddening to you, but I'm about to tell you something I've kept hidden for so long."
"What is it?" She whispered.
He sighed, and reached to brush the hair off her shoulder. "When I was little, my father…well he abandoned me you see."
Emma felt stiff as a board. Out of all the things to tell her she wasn't expecting him to tell her that, but it confirmed her suspicions, he was alone and guarded just like she had been for so long.
"I know shocking isn't it?"
Emma opened her mouth to say something but she didn't want to say the wrong thing, if she dreamed again she would want answers as to why dream Killian didn't say anything on the matter. Sighing she replied. "Look, I know how hard it is to open up, trust issues remember. But being scared its normal, but once you get past that stage things do get better. And I'm the only person around, so when and if you want to, you know you can talk to me right?"
He nodded, great, she thought as he looked at her. Now he won't talk to me.
But instead he surprised her. Ever so gently, as if he would actually curse at his stupidity if he got it wrong. Killian brought his hand up to her cheek slowly. She jumped at the contact but only a little.
"You truly are amazing, did you know that?" He said, bringing his voice down two octaves.
Emma was becoming flustered again. She couldn't handle it, turning suddenly to head back towards the cabin; he stopped her again grabbing for her arm.
She saw the sudden shift in the color of his eyes, turning them more to a navy blue hue. Like the ocean.
Emma swallowed, knowing that they held a longing need. She watched as he got closer, it looked as if he wanted to kiss her. Emma felt a live wire of electricity go all through her body, tilting her head to the side, but Killian straightened it, kissing her forehead instead of on her lips, Emma felt her heart drop to her stomach. Then he headed in the other direction, and out of view.
That afternoon, Emma dreamed again.
Emma emerged through a pine brush. Needles scattered her hair, and she made her way towards a vacant Willow tree.
As she stood there waiting, Emma fiddled with the tips of her hair, the sky was pink with the dawn light. It warmed her skin, but only slightly, she had to admit it was much warmer here, better than the last time she met with dream Killian.
"Nice spot you picked, I must say I quite like it." He announced from behind her.
Emma started but only slightly, she found it easy to find composure around this version of him. Her voice was barely a whisper as she got straight to the point. "Why did you not tell me you were abandoned? And another thing how is it you have two hands but this you that I know has the hook?"
"My dear, Emma it's quite simple. I am Killian as he once was, before he lost his hand. And as for your other question it wasn't my place to tell you, it was up to him. I'm surprised, he told you so early to be honest."
Emma froze and her eyes stung with unshed tears.
"Oh, Em don't cry." He whispered moving closer to her.
"I'm not, it's just…you seem so much more vulnerable, should I tell him? About your hand I mean."
"No, it would only make the Killian you know, hurt more." He explained.
Emma rubbed at her eyes, she felt completely drained but she had to know. "I don't know of I already brought this up and I'm sorry if I did, but why am I dreaming of the past you, instead of the present you?"
"Perhaps, it's because you are thinking of what would have happened, if everything stayed as it was."
"And," she moved so she was pressed against his chest. "What would have happened?"
He gave her the most genuine smile she had ever seen him give her. "Well, I would have told you how beautiful your eyes shine in the moonlight, but only after showing you all of Neverland as the sun broke out in the sky come mid morning. We would walk together on the sandy bays, and then…"
He took Emma in his arms then. "I would take you in my arms like so," he smiled. "And I would never want to let you go, since you fit so perfectly against me."
Emma flushed a deep red, the effect this Killian had on her was so foreign, so new. "It sounds wonderful." She whispered against his chest. He gently pushed her back slightly so he could fully look at her.
She was the most precious thing he had ever laid eyes on. He thought as he leaned close to her ear, whispering something that made her smile.
"You know if you're not going to tell me the rest I might as well go." She said turning around but he stopped her.
"Wait!" He said.
"What is it?" Emma replied.
Without saying anything he twirled her back into the crook of his arms holding her there with one arm as he brought his hand to her face and then placed a long awaited kiss to her lips. Emma froze but her body relaxed into his as he brought his other hand up to fully cup her face.
The feeling the kiss brought felt more urgent then the last kiss they had. Emma felt completely unhinged and she shouldn't feel this way, but she shrugged it off, returning the kiss with just the same amount of force. She brought her arms around his neck gracefully, letting her hands weave through his dark hair. Exhilarated Emma leaned in, her head tilting to the side, leaving them both kissing at a new angle. Killian's body shuddered as a low moan escaped from his mouth. Emma could sense he was just as effected and clutched at the weather beaten material on his back attempting to steady him.
Killian's hands splayed out in her soft gold hair, gradually making their way down her back, the movement felt as if he lifted her off the ground Emma thought to herself as the kiss continued. His shoulders tightened under her hands as he pushed her back against the tree (and not too gently either) and she let out a soft gasp. And Killian stopped.
"Did I hurt you?" His voice was soft but there was a roughness to the tone. Showing how much he wanted and needed her.
Emma's eyes softened, "No, you didn't" she said leaning towards his lips again. He studied her, his lips in a hard thin line.
"That kiss was- I mean…can you kiss me again?" She stammered.
He laughed lightly and it vibrated through Emma. "Whatever you wish m'lady." Killian replied bringing his lips back to hers.
It was like they never stopped. Emma begged for entrance to his mouth, and he granted her the access she so desired to have, and their tongues created their own little dance together. Both of them felt the need shudder through their bodies and Emma gripped at his arms as he grabbed at one of her legs, hiking it up and bringing it close to his waist. Emma pushed the other leg off the ground and wrapped them both around him.
"Well, I will tell you this, Swan when and if the present me opens up enough to you for this to happen, it will be just as beautiful, and more meaningful." He whispered against her lips, as she accidentally nipped the bottom one.
She ignored what he said and grabbed at the material she was holding so hard it ripped in two, revealing the small of his back and hard muscles. He let out a groan pressing her harder against the tree so she was holding her weight there by herself as Killian tore at the long sheer dress Emma was wearing, revealing her chest. The bottom half blowing in the breeze, Emma felt as if she was igniting a fire within herself. And she kissed his neck frantically.
"I hope you weren't planning on wearing that again." He mumbled.
"I could always get another." She reassured him, in between breaths and reaching for the last thing keeping them from each other.
"No, you shouldn't Emma. The less of you that is covered the better; it would be wasteful to hide such beauty. You truly are amazing, has any one ever told you that?"
Emma thought back to the conversation with her Killian on the JR. "Yes," she said. "It was you."
He looked up at that, and smiled. "I love you." He said, brushing the hair out of her eyes.
Emma was on the verge of tears, her throat felt raw and everything was blurry. At last one slipped down her face, but Killian caught it with his thumb.
"I love you too."
And just like that, everything faded to black.
"Emma? Swan, wake up." Killian called to her.
Dream almost forgotten Emma's eyes shot open staring right at him. "What is it?"
"I have to show you something." He said eagerly pulling at her arm.
"Well whatever it is, clearly it can't wait." She watched his face drop. And her eyebrows mashed together in confusion. "I'm kidding, so what is it that you want to show me?"
It felt like they had been walking for hours. And they still hadn't arrived at their destination.
Emma had become aggravated, but she hid it well as Killian pulled her behind him.
"Are you going to say where we are headed? I don't like not knowing things. It makes me feel uncomfortable."
You worry too much, Swan. You got to know who to trust. I'm not one to abduct women for no reason."
Emma let out a laugh. He seems different, livelier than he did the last time we talked. She thought.
"Is something bothering you? You seem distant, not all that "there". Did I do something?" Killian asked.
"No it wasn't you, not at all." She replied as she thought of the dream. Where is he taking me?
"I'm glad,"he said as he started to walk at her pace.
Emma looked around at their surroundings. The sky was a slate gray, and a flock of birds flew overhead, water crashing against the shore line. She hugged her arms closer to her.
"Are you cold?" He asked, coming face to face with her.
"A little," she admitted, and he drew closer to her wrapping an arm behind her.
"You know, I forgot to thank you." He said suddenly.
Emma looked at him. His eyes were calm, more of a light blue than a long desiring dark.
"And, why is that?" She replied.
"Well, like I told you of course. About my abandonment, it feels good knowing that someone other than me knows about it."
Emma gave him a soft smile. "That got me thinking, about what I could do to repay you," He continued. "I mean its not much, more of a last minute thing really. But nonetheless it still holds the right amount of meaning."
"OH!" Emma said surprised. Remembering what Killian told her in the dream "So are we close?"
Killian eyed her carefully. "It should be right around- ah yes," He said pulling her hand again.
They made their way around a little piece alcove, coming face to face with a place that Emma never saw before.
Her eyes took in the tiny little bay (it spread for miles, and seemed much bigger than the ones she had seen here). The sun lent an orange hue to the sky as it sunk. Mirroring the ever coming dawn from the recent dream and Emma breathed in a small breath. And just beyond that, located in the distance stood a lonely Willow tree.
Her whole body went rigid, and Emma found it hard to swallow. "Well, I would have told you how beautiful your eyes shine in the moonlight, but only after showing you all of Neverland as the sun broke out in the sky come mid morning. We would walk together on the sandy bays, and then…" Emma shook her head at the memory, clearing it. She fought for words but couldn't say anything. "Why did you bring me here? How did you find out about this place?" She asked completely flustered.
Killian completely confused, looked at her oddly. "I've always known about it, I just never came."
"You should have told me." She said walking away. "This place, it reminds me of something. I can't tell you what." You're being ridiculous Emma, stop acting flustered. She told herself sternly. He needs to know.
"Just, I need to be alone for a while." She told him before walking away. And he watched her go, with a down cast expression plastered on his face.
Emma ran. She ran faster than she ever had in her life. She became dizzy and desperately reached out for something to lean against. Trying to catch her breath she silently scolded herself for freaking out. It had just come too much of a hassle and she wished now that she didn't send her parents back with Gold and Regina when they had finally gotten Henry. But she was very clear on having to stay back with Killian; at the mere suggestion of it her dad gave her a bewildered expression. But Emma knew she had to sort out her feelings and to finish what both she and Killian started.
The stress kept mounting on her and she wanted to scream up towards the sky because of it. Unaware of where she was stepping Emma tripped over an uprooted branch and fell, her head hitting the packed bracken floor hard. Emma's arms coming around, holding her together. Cold and utterly alone she shut her eyes.
"Why are you back here, you should be with him." Killian whispered.
"I know, but I couldn't. He took me…took me to the place you described to me." Emma replied, softly.
He walked closer to her, picking her up off the ground. "That's a good thing, it means he remembering."
"Yeah but… it's complicated, and its crazy." She said.
"I don't think it's crazy." He said with a smile.
Emma sighed. "I don't want to go back."
Killian's eyes softened. "You have to though; this is the only way it's going to work."
He looked at her. "Don't you want to make me happy?"
Emma swallowed. "Yes."
"So what's the problem, why can't you do it?"
"Because," she looked at him. "He's not- he's not you."
"Of course he is me. We're just different."
She looked at him with a considering expression. "But here, in my dreams, you can actually touch me without the fear of hurting me. Be with me as long as you want."
"That's because you make it so Emma and I would never EVER hurt you." He said leaning closer to her face. "That is the last thing I never want to do."
She looked down towards the ground.
"Look at me, Swan."
As she did, his eyes shifted to the darker blue again. "Wake up, and go to him. Wake up and-"
His voice faded as Emma was pulled out of the dream.
"Emma open your eyes." A familiar voice begged.
Emma's eyes shot open and stared right into Killian's.
She was breathing heavily, trying to regain herself.
"What happened?" She asked him.
"Well I took you to the shoreline, showed you a spot I never dared go to until now and you freaked out, running through the trees. I stood back only until you were a far way in, then I followed you. Not wanting to leave you alone. Once I saw you lying on the ground…something just clicked inside me."
Emma got up, keeping her distance. "Do you want to know why I freaked out, I freaked out because only until now…." She paused collecting herself. "I know I was hard on you before, but somehow I feel safe and closer to you, and I don't know but I stayed behind with you so I could figure things out, and all that time you hardly…. GOD WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO EXPLAIN! I know you've been there for me through everything but you haven't been "there." It makes me feel alone more than ever. And I needed that comfort; I needed you with me Killian. You just were so focused you couldn't see the signs. "
"What?" his voice was just a whisper.
"Emma, surly you could understand I was just trying to give you space, during the first few months you were dead set on finding your boy. I didn't want to overwhelm you."
Her throat was closing up. "The dreams I've been having. They have been happening since the others left. I thought they would go away. But they never did. And in the one…this dream you. Oh god I was just so happy in that one moment. Just now, before you found me. You told me to make you happy, that you were remembering."
He just looked at her, stepping closer. "While, this is all fine and wonderful I still don't know why these dreams are having such an effect on you."
She went on explaining, "I didn't either until I found out that it was you from the past. In them you were able to touch me. Oh the things you made me feel. I was just scared that you would hurt me but past you said that you would never even dare consider it. He showed me the spot earlier, and that's where it happened."
A smile was playing about his lips. His eyes changed suddenly, and he was face to face with her in seconds.
God he was beautiful. Emma slowly brought her hand up to his face, the stubble prickling her fingertips. They stared at each other for a good long while.
"Killian we need to…my ankle I can't-" She cut herself off as she was immediately lifted off the ground and in his arms.
"I know," He said carrying her bridal style all the way to the shoreline.
Emma's hands were around his neck, her fingers playing with the ends of his hair as Killian broke through the trees, crossed the sandy bay towards the long grass and stopped just an inch away from the tree. He knelt down, laying Emma on her back. Killian positioned them so that he was hovering over her.
He pushed a piece of hair behind Emma's ear, his fingers gliding up and down her cheek softly.
"I'm sorry, about earlier." She whispered. "Being alone and having those dreams happen freaked me out, I was just afraid you would question the distance I had put between us and if I made you think it was something you did. It wasn't your fault."
He just continued staring at her not saying a word. Emma frowned.
"What?" He asked her.
She shook her head, pulling his head down closer to her. "I'm scared." Emma admitted.
"Don't be." He said, closing his mouth around hers.
Emma's heartbeat accelerated the instant it happened. His hand fisted into Emma's hair and she in turn had a firm grip on his arms. The kiss started out gentle and sweet, but gradually grew with force. Emma brought her arms around his neck, threading her fingers in Killian's hair, and smiled into the kiss.
It was evident that they both wanted this for so long but just couldn't figure out when. Every kiss, every touch sent a live wire through Emma and she titled her head back as he kissed her neck, eyes shut soaking in the pleasure it brought. A tiny moan escaped her lips.
"Look at me." He whispered.
She opened her eyes and was staring right at him. His dark eyes full of desire.
Emma watched as he left kisses from her jaw to her stomach. Her shirt rode up, leaving a line of bare skin. The tip of his finger dragged from side to side. Leaving Emma growing more and more unhinged. She wished he would stop with the teasing, but watching him explore her body filled her with a long lasting joy.
Killian grabbed her by the wrist and brought her hand to his lips, kissing every one of her fingertips. When he was done he kissed her on the lips again. This time more rough, with teeth and tongue. Emma could taste the left over scent of rum which lingered there.
Pulling back Emma and Killian both knelt on there knees facing each other. She lifted her hands over her head, inviting him to remove her shirt. Once he did he tossed it behind him, and watched Emma's hands lie flat against his chest. Slowly she reached for his hook and listened for the click, bringing it up in between them.
He watched her closely as she tore through the material, revealing his bare arms and chest. Emma noticed scattered scars everywhere and wasted no time kissing every single one of them. She felt his heart beat under her fingers. And he pulled her against him.
Emma left out a soft laugh and smiled. Kissing him gently she reached for his buckle. And he flipped them over so she was straddling his waist. Using the hook, she ran it up and down the material teasing it so it got thinner and worn until they were just shredded scraps. She felt Killian's body vibrate under her suddenly and her gripped her waist flipping them over again and in a blur of motion discarded her jeans, and threw away what was left of the rags and looked down at the last thing that was fully covering Emma.
Noticing Emma reached behind her and unhooked the lace bra, throwing it off to the side and laid down again as Killian removed her damp panties.
Standing up suddenly Killian offered Emma his hand, she took it and he pulled her to her feet. Back against the tree, body completely bare. He closed the inch of space between them and kissed her. Emma winched as her back pressed against the base of the tree, but she hid it as Killian trailed his hands up and down her skin, stopping at her leg. His skin was smeared with his own blood from when Emma used his hook to tear away his clothes. Emma's hands were firmly braced on his shoulders as he wrapped her legs around his waist.
The tree behind Emma creaked as he placed himself inside her. Emma winced at the amount of force he used, and moaned. She felt bits of bark dig into her back and the sting that tiny scratches left behind.
He pushed harder and faster, and Emma's fingers dug into his back. And Emma felt herself slipping but held it together, only long enough for the last little push that sent her into an endless oblivion. It felt as if she were floating as they slid back down to wards the ground. And everything around them, the trees, the shoreline, faded away.
It felt like years went by as they both lay asleep in each others arms. Emma turned her body and woke to Killian watching her, a small smile on his face.
Emma stretched her aching arms. "Hi."
"Hey, beautiful." He said tracing her face and playing with her hair.
They stared at each other before Killian placed a kiss to her temple. Emma looked down at herself wrapped in his leather jacket.
She placed a light kiss on his mouth, curling against him. "Did last night actually happen or…"
He laughed pulling her closer. "Yes Emma, just like your dream it happened by the Willow Tree."
AN: So yeah, I'm pretty sure this is my first CS smut fic, so it probably sucks big time, but whatever. Also Emma's dreams were fun to write as well. Mind you I killed myself with feels but it happens. Review if you wish. They would make me extremely happy. Apologies if there are left over typos.