She awoke in a human body slowly her strength returned, the power of the Old Ones, she examined the new form she now rested in eyes traveling to the small slender fingers. "This will do." Looking up a man, a human stood before her. Examining the surrounds were overwhelming, then her name echoed from that man, it angered her to the core that a human would dare speak to her.

Flashes of black outs occurred "what is this….?"

She opened her eyes once more to find she was somewhere else, did she transport herself here? When? This confused Illyira greatly, trying to adjust she focused on the current reality to see she was training with the half-breed called Spike. They were 'testing' her little did they know she was just toying with them. Playing with the half-breed pet amused her, in truth they all amused her so much so that she would laugh at their efforts to fight, their greatest warrior Angel could not take her. The amount of power that she possessed was unimaginable for their small intellect, or lack of.

A shock rippled throughout her body, another black out…another teleportation.

"You could leave, you should leave" the same man, the one called Wesley was speaking to her again. He was wishing her non-existence. Anger yet again built up within, but why is what she did not understand. She saw the hurt, all the human qualities. Humans…was she starting to feel sorry for the man, Wesley? She smirked slightly; Humans were ones once she could crush with a single thought.

Another shockwave, another black, another place in time.

Wesley stood before her holding a weapon the pain from the human host being broken down then white light, fading to see the floor below her. She could feel it to her very core; her powers were gone, stripped. She was weak, she could no longer shimmer through time as she wished, no longer hear the songs of other dimensions. Suddenly that world composed of shrimp was something that she craved, it was a simple world. That was something for some reason she needed, something simple. It was already infecting her; the humanity was like a leech that kept sucking a bloody finger…

The black outs she remembered the man Wesley explaining what memories were these were memories not black outs…Grief this is what was over coming her. These memories echoed in her mind's eye, causing the leech of humanity to wash over her like an ocean wave. Holding the dead body of Wesley, she came back to the current reality, a reality without the human Wesley at her side. Before she could think she had killed the warlock who was the cause of his death. She fought her way through the demons tracking the half-breeds and the one lone human; she jumped down after overhearing their questioning of Wesley's whereabouts.

"Wesley's dead…I can't seem to control it…I wish to do more violence." The harsh rain was falling down upon her this was a cry from what the humans called Heaven. Thanks to the constant fighting of battlefield she needn't think just fight, kill. It was a great deal of time before the demon hordes started to die down. Several days without attack pass, she was with the company of two half-breeds and still a surviving Gunn. She stood as still as a tree, emotion not creeping up until this second of silence...grief, pain, undescribable pain of loss. The grief that once rippled from Wesley now rippled off her; she screamed pacing "I need to kill more! More demons! I will search for them!"

Angel stopped her from pacing "Illyria…what you are feeling is normal"

"Normal to a human! I am no human! Have you…..Wesley…" Tears were streaming down her face, fragments of Fred's memories, soul remained within her. Shocked her eyes widened the name fell from her lips "…Wesley…..he is dead…" she gripped her chest from the pain "WHAT IS THIS!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!" she screamed at Angel. Angel's face seemed to soften, "I see what Wesley ment now….Illyria.…we haven't done anything to you what you are feeling, is a loss of someone you cared for….let me help. Let us help, okay."He motioned in agnologment to Spike and Gunn.

Spike nodded "He's right Blue, we've stuck it out this far haven't we?" Gunn nodded too unsure of what to say, he still struggled with trusting the demon that killed the one he loved. Though he did owe her a debt, she saved his life. Her eyes shifted from Angel to each of the two before her, and then back to Angel. "How does one deal with these….emotions?" everything around her seemed to crumble from the feelings, it was unbearable. She thought to herself how these humans keep these emotions contained….

Angel responds "That is something we all must figure out...but with friends it gets better. Although, that is what it means to have a soul...to have humanity." Illyria had her gaze locked on Angel "A soul?...is to have humanity…"

It suddenly clicked in the Old One's mind, this was a rebirth, the humanity was now her own though the memories of Fred no longer showed since the death of Wesley. The memories that came were her own since awakening "Memories…the memories of Winifred Burkle no longer remain here, they are gone…but I…I have memories…" That same slender hand that she first saw was under the glove, she clenched her hand looking straight into Angel's eyes. "I will live…for Winifred Burkle and Wesley Wyndam Pryce…I will remember them, fight for them."