"The Adventures of Zack, Kane and Daniel!"
Summary: When a dispute between tag team partners and a certain Broski soon turns into destruction for the Chairman's car, Vince suspends both Kane, Daniel Bryan and Zack Ryder from competition indefinitely! What must they do to pay back for their boss's car? Will it be sweet sailing? Or will it all become a horrible nightmare for the threesome?
Disclaimer: I do not own the wrestlers or anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment. Everything is owned by the chairman of WWE, Vince McMahon. This fic is not for money or profit as well. So enjoy reading.
Chapter 3: Hitchin' a Ride, Part I
The middle of the night.
Lights were flashing, the cars were going, and jets were lighting up the sky. So far, so good.
But it wasn't good for Zack, Kane and Daniel. They were busy walking out the empty arena, but they refused to even look at one another.
"Well, this is just dandy! We're out in the middle of nowhere thanks to that fatass Mark Henry stealing my car!" Daniel shouted in a meltdown-like fashion. He then directed his anger at his tag-team partner, Kane. "And it was all your fault!"
"My fault? Why in the hell is it my fault, Daniel?!" Kane said, yelling right in Daniel's goatbeard of a face.
"Because it just is! You've could've let me ride alone! If I did, then this wouldn't happened!"
"Bullcrap, Daniel! There was no way I wouldn't be getting a ride from Ryder here!" Kane said, gesturing over to the Long Island Iced Z, who was busy trying to get a call from town.
"Even if you didn't like it, I wouldn't care! He could've had headphones you could borrow from that shitty pop music Ryder listens to!" Daniel snarled at Kane, right before Ryder overheard their conversation.
"I heard that, bro! And could you try to keep it to a minimum? I'm gonna see if we can get a ride here." Ryder shouted to both men as Kane and Daniel moved to another section of the parking lot so that the Broski wouldn't have to hear them argue any further.
As Team Hell No were arguing, Ryder dialed his cell phone, in hopes that he would find a single connection outside the arena. He put the cell phone straight to his ear, but before he could ever hear one ring, he noticed a 'battery low' signal on the top of the screen.
"Oh, come on! Are you serious, bro?!" Zack cried a bit foul-less, realizing the hidden fact that he forgot to charge his cell phone. To add insult to injury, his charger was destroyed in the blast that involved his car and Mr. McMahons. Zack, of course, did have enough money to cover the damage for his car, but not Mr. McMahon's. And that's what got him and Team Hell No suspended.
Meanwhile, as Zack was bitching about his phone problems, Kane and Daniel were still embroiled in their verbal war. It's been like this before and after they got in trouble.
"What about the night you ate all that pizza, and you didn't even bother saving me a slice!" Daniel shouted while he stomped his foot down in anger.
"You said you weren't hungry!" Kane snapped, "I figured since you weren't hungry, I could have all the cheese pizza to myself!"
"But you couldn't have bothered saving me a slice!" Daniel spoke constantly while his words hit Kane with such realism. "Instead, you had to scarf down a whole entire pizza like a fat old fart!"
Unfortunately, Kane didn't take too well with Daniel calling him a fat, old fart. He stepped one inch closer to his goatbearded partner and stared at him deathly.
"What the hell did you say about me?"
Knowing that he was being dwarfed by his tall lunk of a partner, Daniel tiptoed and glared at Kane.
"You heard me... you're a fat... old... FART!"
Kane's fists shook with anger after he heard Daniel calling him a fat old fart. The Big Red Monster didn't take too kindly to those words, so he did what he had to do just to shut him up...
He started to cry.
"YOU'RE SO HURTFUL!" Kane screamed with rage as he turned around and ran off crying. That was really disturbing that he saw Kane cry like a bitch for the first time. Seeing Kane run miles away from him, Daniel shouted out to his best friend.
"COME ON, KANE, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! COME BACK!" Daniel whined to his friend, who was just running with his fiery tail between his legs.
Daniel turned the other cheek and cussed himself off before Zack approached him.
"Bro, that was harsh. I never seen Kane cry like that." Ryder replied to Daniel as they were still seeing Kane run far away from them. Right now, he was running so far away that he was nowhere to be seen.
"You kidding me? He cries like this every time when he watches 'my Little Pony'. He winces every time Fluttershy gets her feelings hurt." Daniel spoke as he shook his head in confusion.
"Kane's a brony? I never knew that. It's so OC of him..." Ryder said as he wanted to shake the image of Kane watching My Little Pony off of his head. "By the way, Daniel. I got good news and bad news."
"Which is...?" Daniel replied with a groan.
"Let me start off the bad news, bro. My battery's dead. Which means we cant get a ride anywhere around town." Ryder muttered while shaking his head in a negative mood. But he looked at Daniel with a confident smile of glee, "The good news is... my Justin Beiber CD's were unharmed."
"Well, this sucks ass. Not also we have no ride, but now we have to go search for Kane! He's missing all over town..."
Hearing news from Daniel himself, Ryder looked over his shoulder and saw a tiny glimpse of Kane running inside a gas station.
"Look, bro. Maybe Kane's in that gas station nearby town." Ryder said as he pointed to a Love's convenience store nearby the arena. Daniel Bryan noticed the long block between the gas station and the arena they fought in. It was like a large mile and it would even take a good 8 minutes to walk from there.
When Kane ran through here, it took only like two minutes to ran to the gas station. Who knew The Big Red Monster was a very fast sprinter when he cried?
"Fine... let's go get him." Daniel said while he rolled his eyes yet again. It was until then that Daniel and Zack had to walk. Quite strangely, the goatbearded superstar felt his pockets go a bit light on him. "Um, Zack... when did the pockets of my pants feel lighter than usual?"
Mostly ten minutes later...
Daniel and Zack arrived inside the convenience store with their calf muscles flaring after a very long-ass powerwalk. Daniel was still feeling his pockets as if something was missing. He looked outside of the store and saw a payphone nearby. That's when Daniel had an idea up his sleeve.
"Look, you go cheer Kane up. I'll see if I can get a cab somewhere across town." Daniel spoke in a hurry as he went back outside.
With a gulp coming on the inside from the Long Island Iced Z, Zack looked to the boys bathroom where he heard crying, mostly from their big lug of a friend, Kane. After letting out a deep breath, Zack knocked on the door and spoke out.
"Kane? Broski, you in there?"
"Go away..." Kane muttered sadly from the bathroom door. "I want to be alone."
"Bro, Daniel didn't really mean all that stuff about you." Zack said in a careful tone of voice.
"You should've been there, Zack! Daniel called me a fat old fart!"
"Look. Daniel only said that out of anger. He wasn't trying to be serious. It's just that he doesn't like the things you do that makes him angry." Zack replied as he tried to shed some light on this argument between Kane and Daniel.
All he heard was silence. Kane didn't reply, but he sure paid attention to what Ryder was saying to him.
"It's okay. You don't wanna talk to Daniel. I respect that, bro." Zack nodded to himself, "But at least understand that he's your friend. And no matter what, friends are there to help you no matter how bad things get."
After hearing Zack's little tale of friendship, Kane creaked the door a little bit so that he would only see half of Ryder's forehead.
'You're lying..." Kane spoke with a little growl.
"Bro, I'm not lying. He's always been appreciative of what you've done for him. Remember the time you made christmas cookies for everyone in the roster? They liked it, including your best friend. Or how about the time you helped out Daniel get that bag of SunChips from the vending machine because the whole entire machine was jammed? And not to forget the time he helped you become WWE Tag Team Champions, even though you weren't getting along with each other at the time?"
Those words from Zack actually touched a nerve in Kane's fiery heart. After all they've been through with their recent argument, Daniel always found a way to make peace with his friend.
"Well, he did like my cookies..." Kane said in positive reaction. He finally got out of the bathroom, but the Big Red Monster looked all around him. Something was definitely missing. "Ryder, are we missing someone?"
"Oh no, bro. Daniel's outside. He's on the phone, trying to get us a ride across town." Ryder said as he pointed to Bryan outside. The goatbeard of a man was trying to get some change from his pockets.
"Good, I've been dying to get outta here. I'm still smelling brimstone from Mr. McMahon's car..." Kane said with a weary expression. That brimstone smell from their boss's limousine was affecting the entire city. It was almost like a silent smog storm.
Outside the gas station, Daniel Bryan was having trouble getting the change out of his pockets. All it took was a quarter to use the payphone, so why in the hell was Daniel wasting his time getting 25 cents out of his pocket?
"C'mon, you bastard! Get... outta my pocket and into the coin slot!" Daniel responded as he angrily struggled trying to go pocket wrangling.
But then, he realized his mistake. His hand tore through the pocket creating a hole. This was strange to Daniel. But knowing that he wouldn't find any change in his left pocket, he decided to try the right pocket.
The results was the same. Daniel's hand tore a hole in the right pocket. This situation was strange. Daniel entered the arena with full amount of cash and he left the arena with his pants pockets feeling light.
Realization hit him like a lead brick once again. Daniel's money was stolen.
"Oh no..." He said with his eyes popping in suspense. Which bastard was sick enough to even steal Daniel's moolah? The answer was this:
Daniel's money was in the hands of meaty black hands. With a smirk on his face and a Hardees Super Bacon Cheese Thickburger in his hand, Mark Henry was having one hell of a time driving Daniel Bryan's car while his theme song was playing on the CD player
The World's Strongest Man looked down to the passengers seat and looked at Daniel Bryan's wallet like it was a nice sexy honey.
"Don't worry... you're gonna make good company..." Mark said with a evil smile. As he patted Daniel's wallet like a pet, he grabbed the greasy burger from the dashboard. His taste buds was bothering him like crazy. "Next stop, my thighs!"
Mark Henry chomped on that huge bacon cheeseburger like it was no tomorrow. Back at the gas station meanwhile, Daniel Bryan fell down to his knees, realizing that Mark Henry had now stolen the rest of his money, his car, and his self-esteem. In response, he looked up to the sky and yelled out something fierce and violently:
Chapter 4 is coming up. Until then, read and review. Thank you... and you're welcome.