"The Adventures of Zack, Kane and Daniel!"
Summary: When a dispute between tag team partners and a certain Broski soon turns into destruction for the Chairman's car, Vince suspends both Kane, Daniel Bryan and Zack Ryder from competition indefinitely! What must they do to pay back for their boss's car? Will it be sweet sailing? Or will it all become a horrible nightmare for the threesome?
Disclaimer: I do not own the wrestlers or anything associated with World Wrestling Entertainment. Everything is owned by the chairman of WWE, Vince McMahon. This fic is not for money or profit as well. So enjoy reading.
Chapter 3: Hitchin' a Ride, Part II
Daniel Bryan was in incomplete rage. The thoughts of Mark Henry stealing Daniel Bryan's car and cash was waaaaaaay beneath the line!
The goat-bearded individual was so mad, he wanted to tear something off the concrete and eat it up. Yet that would be impossible to do since their teeth would be yanked off from the steel.
As much as he wanted to channel his inner Hulk, Ryder and Kane went outside to check up on him.
"Hey bro, any luck yet?" Zack Ryder said to Daniel.
"Do I look like I wanna eat celery?" Daniel Bryan replied sarcastically.
"Well, you have the goat of a beard, so..." Kane said while pausing a bit, "...yeah."
"I just found out that fatass Bob Marley a.k.a. Mark Henry, stole my cash!" Daniel cried out.
"Bro, that's so harsh..." Ryder said, feeling a bit of compassion for his bearded friend.
"This sucks..." Kane replied, "This really sucks horseshit! Now what are we gonna do? We got no cash, we got no ride, and so far, we're gonna be out of a job if we don't pay back Mr. McMahon's car!"
"You think, Kane?" Daniel said with his eyes bulging sarcastically.
"Yeah, if you could've kept your mouth shut when we had that little fight, then we would've kept our jobs!" Kane objected angrily, "But no, your little goat mouth had to make us get thrown in the boat!"
"Well, excuuuuuuuse meeeeeee!" Daniel sarcastically exclaimed, "If only if you rode with Ryder instead of me, then I would still care!"
"Oh, we're not bringing this up again! I'm not riding with eraserhead here, like I already told you!" Kane whined.
Being a little agitated that Kane and Bryan were once again fighting, Zack Ryder thought of an idea. A little light bulb on the top of his head, it seems.
"Bros! I got such the craziest idea of how we can afford a ride!" Ryder exclaimed.
"What? You gonna sell your body for cash?" Kane chuckled out of pity.
"No, dude. Although that does sound sick..." Ryder murmured through thought, "You ever seen those movies where you ever seen the lead character always hitchhikes so he can gets a ride?"
They didn't answer, but the twosome did nod.
"Well, bros. I just got an idea that may be crazy enough to work!" Ryder exclaimed yet again, "Daniel, take your shirt and wear it like a school-girl top. And show some leg!"
"WHAT?" Daniel replied in shock, "There's no way in hell I'm gonna dress like a prostitute schoolgirl! I rather drill my own balls with a power tool than to wear something so girly!"
"Well, it was the only idea I had, bro!" Ryder complained out of sarcasm.
"If you want the idea, let Kane do it. He's already got hair like a slut." Bryan chuckled a bit.
Unfortunately, the thought of being called a 'slut' rattled Kane's nerves a bit. In response, he yanked the beard of Daniel Bryan and stared at him deathly.
"Care to repeat that little comment?" Kane threatened with his teeth gritting.
That scary little glare in Kane's face made Daniel want to hide in a dark place and shiver. But since Kane kept on yanking his beard, he couldn't.
"I didn't call you a slut." shivered Daniel, "I said your hair makes you look like a slut!"
"Really? Because there's absolutely no way in hell I'm wearing some cheap tasteless outfit in front of 1,000 honking cars!" Kane said with anger yet again.
"Well, if you ain't gonna wear one, I ain't wearing one either!" Daniel declared as well.
As much as they were enjoying having this staring contest full of rage, Kane and Daniel soon turned to Zack Ryder. With sick smirks on their faces, they began approaching the headband-wearing broski in a quiet, yet threatening pace.
"Bros, get away from me! I don't like this!"
Zack Ryder was about to run far away from Team Hell No, when Kane yanked him by the shirt. What the twosome was gonna do to the Long Island Iced Z would be nothing more of a humiliation!
One hour later
"This sucks, bro!" Ryder shouted in humiliation.
Daniel and Kane were laughing at a surprising sight.
The sight of Zack Ryder dressing like a slutty schoolgirl. As much as the humiliation hit the Broski close to home, he looked very attractive in drag. It just like the actor in that one movie where the black man and the latino all dressed up in drag alongside the main character. Unlike the movie, Ryder stooped so low to act slutty. After all, it was his idea.
"Looking good, Zackarina!" Daniel hollered, only to make Ryder steam with rage.
"Shut up, bro!" Ryder snapped back.
"Why can we? With that outfit, you look like a transsexual Britney Spears!" Kane hollered as well, "At least she put out more than you!"
"Don't think you can go off telling anyone about this, bro!" Ryder snapped once again.
Zack had very little intention to get into a fight with the Big Red Monster, considering he'd been one of the people that ruined the Broski's career alongside Eve Torres.
But before Ryder can manage to shut Kane's mouth once and for all, a car honked behind him.
Kane and Daniel looked behind Ryder to see a limousine rolling. Looking at it firsthand was like if the president was in town. Of course, the president wasn't there, but at least there was a limousine with techno music playing inside. Sounds like such a party in here.
The threesome stood closer to the long white piece of metal heaven, anticipating who would come out of it. But instead a door opening...
...a window was rolled down to see a shirtless blonde dude.
"Hey, handsome! Need a ride?"
"So bad!" Ryder said, looking very hesistant, "Look bro, we don't have a ride, and we don't have any money. I'd take my Corvette, but it was blown up! Oh, and Daniel's ride got jacked as well. If it's okay with you, will you give us a ride?"
"A ride, huh?" The blonde guy said, thinking about the trio's offer.
The nerves were getting to both men. The breeze around them was getting a little colder, despite being spring. Just the thought of walking around in the dark was not an option.
"Let me ask my friend and see what he thinks.."
And then, the blonde guy looked down at an unknown source and spoke on.
"What do you think? Shall we give these guys a 'ride'?"
Much to their trio's surprise, the person who ascended from the window happened to be an incredibly gay man, who was busy wiping his mouth off from the blonde guy he's been 'polishing'.
"Mmmmmmm... we might as will..." The gay man smiled with glee, "Maybe we can tell them how we get 'down'..."
With a hot yet uncomfortable passionate kiss coming from two bisexual men, the blonde dude looked back to the trio.
"So... you in...?"
Both Daniel, Kane and Ryder were still in shock of two men 'embracing' one another over funky techno music. They could not say one word that described this mess that they say. Would they puke? Would they die? Would their eyes burn. One thing was for sure...
A minute later...
"MY EYES! MY EYES ARE FRICKIN' BURNING!" Daniel screamed out of mercy while washing his eyes in the bathroom.
Ryder on the other hand, was vomiting from a toilet after the disgusting display he saw outside. Luckily, he managed to get out of that slutty schoolgirl attire he was wearing. That thing made him look like a girlyboy. The kind of girlyboy that was nothing more than a man dressed in drag.
Kane was nowhere to be found. He was still outside waiting for Ryder and Daniel to come out. Thankfully, they managed to get out of there, but the bathroom had such a vomity smell.
"I will never see reality again, bro!" Ryder cried out in pain.
"I'm not sure if I'm ever gonna see!" Daniel said, feeling the water drip from his eyes, "Kane, you got a towel?"
He didn't hear anything from Kane. That's strange. Mostly, when Daniel would talk to Kane, he would get an answer from the big guy.
But when Daniel managed to wipe the water off his shirt, his vision restored...
...only to see Kane with a bag of something in his hand.
"Yeah, Daniel? What do you need?" Kane said with his mouth full.
"Kane? What the heck are you eating?" Daniel responded suspiciously.
"Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos." Kane answered.
"Wha-?" Daniel said while losing his voice, "How in the hell do you have money?"
"I had cash with me. But it was only for something to snack on." Kane shrugged.
"Cash? How much do you have, bro?" Ryder said, feeling alarmed.
"Only $2 bucks, but it's-" Kane responded, before Daniel cut him off.
"GIMME GIMME GIMME!" Daniel shouted repeatedly while he grabbed Kane's wallet like a pickpocketer.
"IT'S THE ONLY MONEY I HAVE LEFT, DANIEL!" Kane yelled back.
Like a maniac with a sugar attack, Daniel slammed the rest of the money on the counter, which sorta scared the cashier a bit!
"Sir, please help turn these two dollars into eight quarters, please! Me and the noobs need rides!" Daniel frantically yelled in panic.
"Well, sir... since you scare me like a goat with rabies, I'll be happy to help you!" The cashier replied sarcastically, still being bothered by Daniel Bryan's erratic behavior.
As soon as he was about to open the cash register, the box was jammed in tight. That didn't sound like good news to begin with.
"Uh, bad news sir, the box is sorta jammed in tight here. It might take a long time to get the whole thing out, sir." Cashier sighed, "Would you like to wait?"
"No... I'll be fine..." Daniel muttered angrily at the cashier, who gave Daniel's money back.
Muttering what seemed to be a row of silent cusswords, Daniel was approached by his two friends.
"I really hate my life right now..." Daniel said in scorn.
"Sorry about that, bro." Ryder responded while he patted Daniel in the shoulder.
"What's the point right now, Daniel? I can't even fit my dollar bill in that pay phone, even if I had to call a ride!" Kane burst out through hesistance.
"Now, how on earth are we ever gonna get a ride now, bro?" Ryder shrugged.
"I don't know. Let's put our minds to use here..." Daniel said, beginning to go into thinking mode here.
Quite frankly, Zack and Kane were going into thinking mode as well. How can they afford a ride which is worth two bucks? Let's face it, a measly two bucks definitely won't get them anywhere. Except for maybe a can of pop and chips. This was very hopeless! And so far, not even one word came out of the trio.
Whenever they were thinking, they couldn't come up with anything worse except being dressed in drag. There was no way Zack Ryder wanted to go through that again.
However, their thoughts were interrupted when a familiar voice crept them from behind.
"Hey, guys. Need a ride?"
Hearing that voice, the trio's eyeballs were popped open. They couldn't believe who was standing behind them in surprise.
Who was that voice? Will he/she be the ticket to get Bryan, Kane, and Ryder out of this hellhole that they're in? Find out next chap! Until then, feedback is appreciated! ^_^
BTW, can't wait for Total Drama All-Stars to come on Cartoon Network! It's gonna kick major ass!