Hi, I'm back after two years of absence and I'm here to stay! Hope you enjoy this one :)
Normal character : Present
Italic : Past
He hated to remember… but couldn't stand to forget.
He couldn't stand to forget her smile, her touch.
Because to forget is to accept, and acceptance is the last step towards final grief.
But he didn't want to grieve, not yet.
" You're insane. Why did you think I would have accepted it…"
Misaki asked, still embarrassed about their evening. She didn't like attention, especially not from a whole restaurant.
"Because I love you, you love me. We have been going out since college, I though it was the normal course of thing"
Usui sighed, thinking that she would have appreciated the normal course of thing much more than the outcome of that rainy night. He recalled the way he knee down and proposed to her. Seeing the scene, the waitress decided to shout out to the whole restaurant that the couple was getting engaged and that the champagne was on the house before even Misaki gave him a response. He still remembered how annoyed she was but how little he cared about it. "She will marry me one day, maybe not tonight, but definitely one day" he had thought to himself. He couldn't have been more wrong…
"The normal course was to move in together not getting married!" She exhaled sharply.
"Oh so now you're ready to move in with me, how sweet of you" He teased her, his amuse gaze flicking towards her on the passenger seat.
Her lips twitched, fighting a smile. Over the years, she got used to his silly remarks and even found a way to enjoy half of them.
"…Yes I'm ready. Now look at the road, you wouldn't want our soon-to-be married asses to get into an accident"
He remembered how her comment made him laugh and how they both laughed for a time that seemed to be infinite. She would always turned something romantic into a crude thought, just like mixing the thought of them married and the thought of them injured.
"Okay, see, I'm looking at the road. Too bad for me, now I can't admire your beautiful cleavage"
She delicately punched him while she fixed her dress. And he laughed, and she laughed, and they laughed…
He remembered how unusual the trajectory of the car driving in the opposite direction was and how the car's lights became suddenly blinding.
"USUI, LOOK OUT!"
He remembered her alarming scream. He remembered how hopeless he was towards the situation and how clueless he was on how to avoid the unavoidable. He remembered the loud impact of the two cars, the impact that pushed them directly into the heavy flow rapids beside the road.
The car waltzed slowly into the depths of the river, but the current was so strong that it brought them back on the surface.
He remembered her face just before the current buried her. She didn't look scared, neither frightened. She looked fearless, brave and stubborn to not let herself drown. But there was this one last second, that instant when she looked at Usui. Her eyes were wide-open, horror in it. He saw her shout something but couldn't hear what she was trying to let him know.
And then nothing. Just a blank.
This was the last time he saw her.
"Hello Sir? Can you hear me?"
Usui tried to speak, but his lungs were still irritated by the water. He opened his eyes and immediately closed them because of the flashlights from the policemen.
"Just take it slow, you seriously hit you head on a rock when you were on the river" One officer instructed him.
It didn't sink in at first. He rubbed his head where he was hurt as the words clicked one by one in his head.
"M-Misaki…" He whispered as he tried to stand up but two men stopped him to do so.
"Sir, there's a strong possibility you have a concussion, it's better not to move until the ambulance arrives"
But Usui didn't care, he stood up and ran closer to the river as his mind became clearer and clearer. He searched the shore and turned around to face one cop.
"There was a women with me in the crash, is one of your men with her?" He asked tersely.
The policemen looked at him, at first confused but not for too long. He quickly understood that there was a still a person missing. He immediately took his intercom strapped to his uniform.
"To all teams, we have a 5-42. I need back up to Old Oak's river"
Usui watched everyone rushing around, as he stood there totally helpless. His eyes went blank, curiously dead.
He remembered the cops trying to hold him back to dive into the river. He remembered how demented he looked, how irrational his thoughts were.
A total of three hunts over one week had been done to search for her.
As time went by, his hopes slowly faded away but not his naïve optimism.
People had a noun for that phase of grief: Denial.
Even if he could deny all he wanted; he knew it wouldn't bring her back.
But over time, denial was the only that kept him strong, that kept him going on. He knew the minute he would accept her death, would be the minute he would had given up on her.
And since the first minute he saw her, he had decided to never give up on her.
Two years later, that's the thought that occurred to him while he was staring at the river that had once drowned his love. Calm and serene, he was rolling her engagement ring between his fingers. He reminisced all the good times they had, how beautiful she looked. He knew he had to give up and finally accept what happened. Because as long as her death wasn't a truth to him, his life would be a lie.
He took glanced at the horizon and lowered his head to the ring for the last time.
He then arched his arm and threw the ring the further he could.
The ring followed the current as the river plunged into a lake not too far away. One modest residence had the chance to have the exclusive view of this lake. But one of its resident didn't make the most of the view. Confined for most of the day in the smallest room of the house, she rarely saw the sun.
The other resident was calling her his divine gift, but she was calling herself :
So here's the first chapter, I have pretty much the whole story in my head. Let me know if it's worth continuing !