Tuesday, 24 January, 1989

Happy New Year. Late new year. Whatever, it's next year now. This year? Ugh… Sorry, too much sugar. Today's my birthday, so yeah, I'm ten now. Woo. I've been looking forward to double digits since I was really little, but I'd be more excited if Dad was here. Yeah, I guess I'm kinda cranky, and I probably shouldn't be, considering it's my birthday and Sammy has been real awesome all day (more on that later) but seriously?! His eldest, his right hand man, his son turns ten and he doesn't send home so much as a phone call. He's probably off hunting some monster and he has no reception, but a little foresight would have been nice. If he hasn't forgotten altogether. He might never even have known. I don't know, and it doesn't matter for all the shits he gives about me. Whatever. I know I'm being really selfish, but I'm just gonna say that I'm entitled to one day of selfishness out of 365. Ugh, anyway. Sam's been really sweet all day. Thank God for that kid. He actually got in trouble at school because he was drawing me a card. That's a big deal for Sammy- he never gets in trouble and if he does he gets super depressed. But he did today, and he looked a bit upset but he looked so proud when he gave me the card at recess. He looked a bit scared, too, because I was surrounded by my friends, but you should have seen him beaming when I hugged him. And choking a bit because I might have hugged him too tight, but I don't think he minded. His friends looked totally awestruck when he walked back, because, I mean, c'mon. I hugged him, and I'm an older kid, a cool kid, surrounded by other older and cool kids. I hope they gave him the special treatment after that because goodness knows he deserves it. He got up super early this morning as well and tried to make a pie for me. He actually managed it even though it was really burnt and part of the oven melted, but it's not our oven, so who cares? He jumped on me to get me up (as all good brothers do) and then we ate burnt-and-over-caramelized pie for breakfast. It was the best thing I've ever tasted, including all Mom's amazing pies and the stuff at the restaurant Dad took us to all those months ago. We went off to school and Sam actually popped his head into my classroom (when he was meant to be in class!) and informed my teacher that it was my birthday. Of course then I went red as my friends led the class in a very off-key chorus of Happy Birthday, but Sam grinned at me as they sang and I found I didn't even mind. After school, he ran off with his friends (after hugging me briefly) and I figured he had plans, so I headed home. I walked pretty slow because I was still moping about Dad (because as awesome as Sammy is, he's not Dad) and when I got home, I realized the door was open. I panicked and went for my gun but then the lights flicked on and it turns out Sammy and his friends and my friends had all actually thrown me a party. It was a bit hard to hide the gun but it was even harder to hide my tears. Yeah, I know. Shut it. It was kind of really awesome and I had such a great time. It was actually probably the best birthday I've ever had, even though Dad wasn't there. My friends all chipped in and bought me a cake, and I teared up again because I never stay in one place for that long so it's really hard to find actual good friends and impossible to find friends that last. After they all left, I went to hug Sammy and he pulled out a present, something he made in wood technology at school. He had actually somehow managed to carve a (rough) version of Dad's car, the 67 Chevy. It was amazing. Pretty rough, but hey, he's five. It's pretty damn amazing for a five year old and I full on started crying. Then he said we could watch my favorite movie (which scares him) and eat liquorice (which he hates). I've got the best brother in the world.