I don't own the Big Bang Theory or it's characters. But I am okay with that. I'd hate to have to stay within boring old canon when there are much more interesting stories to tell. Like this AU version of The Peanut Reaction from season 1.

Howard and Raj closed the door behind them as they left to get birthday presents and supplies for Leonard's surprise party. Sheldon spun around to face Penny. "I can't believe you would stoop so low as to blackmail me into helping with this pointless activity."

Penny rolled her eyes. "He's our friend, Sheldon! This is the type of thing you do for a friend. Besides, this is more like a compromise than blackmail."

Sheldon quirked an eyebrow. "And what do you call it when you force someone into helping you?"

Penny glared at him. "Keep it up, sweetie and I'll lick every action figure in your room!"

Sheldon moved closer and glared right back at her. "You wouldn't dare!"

The one thing Penny couldn't resist was a dare. She smiled widely and took off running. Sheldon's jaw dropped and he immediately took off after her. "NO!"

She was almost to his bedroom door when Sheldon grabbed her arm. Penny spun and the two of them tumbled against the wall. Sheldon was knocked off balance and his grip on Penny loosened. She took advantage of his surprise and scrambled to the door. She threw it open and moved inside his room. Sheldon lunged forward and wrapped his arms around her waist. They landed on the bed and Penny began to wiggle away. Sheldon used his superior size to pin her legs with his thighs while pinning her arms to her sides with his own.

Penny arched her back quickly to try and buck him off, so Sheldon flipped them over so that she was laying on top of him facing the ceiling. Penny craned her neck back to lick his cheek, knowing he would be grossed out enough to let her go. Sheldon meanwhile was in the process of turning his face to hers to ask if she was willing to concede. Penny's tongue swept into his open mouth, slipped along his tongue and they both froze.




Slowly Sheldon released Penny and she slipped down beside him on the bed. They both sat up, staring at each other. Tentatively Sheldon leaned toward Penny and her hand came up to cup his neck. Their lips met in the faintest of kisses. They stared at each other for a moment before crashing together in a wave of passion.

Sheldon woke slowly, feeling content and warm. He was on his left side, which was unusual. He opened his eyes to see a slender golden neck mere millimeters from his lips. Immediately memories of the night before washed over him. He looked down to see his right arm slung over Penny's waist, her body nestled against his.

So this is what my friends are in a constant search for, he mused. He understood their obsession now. Sort of. He had no desire to go out and copulate with any other woman. Truthfully he wasn't sure he wanted to copulate again, at all. The act itself had been messy, strenuous and had induced heart palpitations and perspiration. However, this was pleasant. Having Penny's warmth against his chest and groin was enjoyable. The kissing had been nice, also. Penny had soft, yet firm hands, too. He had enjoyed having her touch him. But the actual coitus had made him feel out of control. He had been helpless against the onslaught of emotions and sensations.

Penny stirred and his penis stiffened against her bottom. Sheldon blushed fiercely as Penny softly moaned and pressed against it. His hips automatically bucked against her and he groaned, making Penny still. Her eyes slowly opened and she turned to look at him.

"Good morning, sweetie," she said gently. "Are you okay?"

Sheldon frowned slightly as he tried to decipher his status. "I felt content when I first awoke. But now I am feeling a bit uneasy. Penny, I am not sure what is happening."

Penny turned in his embrace and licked her lips. "Do you want me to go?"

Sheldon was stunned by the quick flash of dismay her words caused. "I do not think so. I just do not know what I do want."

Penny slid her arms around his neck and smiled softly. "How about I make some breakfast, and we go from there?"

Sheldon nodded. "It is oatmeal day."

Penny grinned and started to draw back away from him. Sheldon's arms tightened of their own accord. He sighed and gave in to his body's demands. He pressed his lips to hers and was rewarded by having Penny return his kiss. Sheldon's hand moved up her waist to her ribcage and paused. He drew back from her lips and smiled shyly.

"Maybe we can have lunch instead," he rolled them over so he was on his back, and Penny rose up over him. His eyes drifted half-closed as he entered her body again. Maybe coitus wasn't so undesirable after all….

Leonard wasn't sure if his first ever birthday party was a success or a disaster. Penny introduced him to her friend Gail, who was funny, gorgeous and loved Babylon Five as much as he did. But he also lost Penny to his awkward, neurotic roommate. Sheldon did buy him that new 802.11n wireless router he really wanted, though.