A/N – Thank you everybody for your reviews, favorites and follows! Excited to present to you the fourth and final installment of The Graduation Party! Enjoy!
A couch, a dresser, a bed, and a desk made up Derek's room. Two adjoining doors led to a private bathroom and a walk in closet. A laptop rested on the desk, while a few pieces of clothing were haphazardly thrown over the dresser. For the most part, the simplicity of the room was exactly what one would expect when picturing the bedroom of Derek Hale.
Everything except for the paint on the walls screamed Derek. The paint screamed otherwise. The alpha had, to nobody's surprise, wanted to paint the walls a dark grey color. By Derek's terms, it was a dark gray. In reality, it was really just black.
The pack had collectively denied their alpha the color of his choice. It was in fact Stiles who had suggested the room be painted a green color. Nobody but Stiles had realized why green was the perfect color.
It was now, standing in Derek's room and turning to face him that he knew he had made the right choice.
"Your eyes," he muttered before snapping his mouth closed. Stiles would very much like whatever unconscious part of him that made him comment on Derek-freaking-Hale's eyes and feeling all feely to have a conversation with the part of him that was actually conscious. He really wanted to know what was going on.
He also really didn't want to have a big gay freak out now, which sort of scared him because now implies that he'd be okay with having it sometime.
And the implications of that are just way too much.
Derek misunderstands his comment (thank god). His hands instantly fly to his eyes and his eyebrows furrow.
"Did they flash red? I didn't feel it." He sounded angry with himself.
"No, it's…don't worry they didn't. So, I hear there's a present involved in all of this?"
Yes Stiles was deflecting. But they were still both just standing in the doorway looking at each other and Stiles didn't know he could feel so awkward and comfortable and content at the same time and it was bothering him.
Derek's face relaxes and he reaches into the leather jacket he had carried up to the room. He pulls a small black book from an inside pocket and throws the jacket aside.
Stiles looked at the book. It looked like it could be a diary or something. He didn't think it was though, because he could tell the pages in-between the covers were different colors. That's when he realized it was one of those books that had pages for pictures to be put in.
Derek handed it over without saying anything. Stiles just stared at it.
He walked past Stiles and opened his top drawer. He pulled out an identical black book.
Stiles heart picked up speed. He was making the connections left and right. He was pretty sure he knew what was in his new picture book, and he was pretty sure he knew what was in Derek's. And he couldn't believe Derek was going to share it with him.
Derek looked down at the book between his hands. Stiles couldn't calculate the look the alpha held. It was...heartbreaking. Luckily for Stiles, his heart hadn't exactly been whole for a while; so actual heartbreaking wasn't in the question.
"Laura made me this book before…."
Derek trailed off. Silence hung between them, but Stiles didn't speak up. Derek wasn't done, and they both knew it. The younger boy didn't care how long it would take. Hell, he'd wait all night. If Derek was going to open up, Stiles would let him. And he'd wait for him.
"I didn't want it at first. I tried to throw it away…often. She'd always pick it out of the trash and put it back on my desk. And then she died."
Stiles cringed. Derek's tone turned cold. Yet again, he couldn't believe he had ever thought he'd drawn the shortest stick the world could give.
"And I hated her for leaving this damn book behind. Because I could throw it away knowing that it wouldn't come back. There was no one there to take it out of the trash. I could get rid of it."
Derek blinked hard, and Stiles throat tightened. Upon closer inspection, Stiles could see how watery the alphas eyes seemed. The space between suddenly felt unnatural. Evil. Wrong.
Stiles took a step. Derek didn't move but he tensed. Good enough, Stiles had thought. He closed the distance between them by leaning into Derek's chest, arms going around him and placing his head on the older man's shoulders.
"But that," hands circled Stiles, gripping him close. "That seemed like a big, fat fuck you to Laura. So I kept it. And I hated her for it, and I hated myself for it."
Stiles moved his head till his face was pressed up against Derek's neck. One of his hands shacked as he lifted it up and traced his fingers against the other side of the neck he was breathing in.
He didn't even wonder why neither of them pulled away. Why neither of them shied away from the…intimacy. All that he could think about was Derek telling his story, Derek hurting, and that he just wanted the other man to feel better.
"I finally opened the damn book three months ago. After I had all of you. After I had a pack again, a family."
Stiles' fingers paused and he held his breath. Derek's grip tightened around his waist.
"And?" Stiles murmured.
"And I realized that I could…do this. Live this fucking life. Maybe…maybe be happy, even. I miss them so fucking much…but the ache isn't so all consuming when I'm surrounded by the pack. By you."
Stiles heart was doing cartwheels. He gripped Derek's shoulder because he felt like he was going to fall. And maybe he was falling, because he was pretty sure that his feet had left the ground.
Oh. Derek was carrying him to the bed. The bed. Why the bed? What happened to the feely stuff? It made him literally hurt from feeling so…good? Needed? Accepted?
"You do that for me," Derek murmured, setting Stiles on the side of the bed and than crawling till he was sitting with his back against the bed rest. "And I want to do that for you."
They weren't touching anymore. Stiles looked up surprised. He didn't like how Derek was resting/sitting against the backboard of his bed and he was sitting on the side of it.
Derek made a point to look down at the book between Stiles' hands. Stiles followed his gauze.
"I haven't looked at these pictures since…I don't remember when. I don't know if I can…"
"What stops you?" Derek murmurs, and he's pretty sure that if a pin had dropped, the little ting it would have made would have been louder than those three words.
"It feels too…alone."
Derek spreads his legs, tapping the bed between them.
"You're not alone this time."
"I…isn't this crossing some kind of line?" Stiles splutters. He can't really think straight what with all the emotional and physical revelations happening every other minute.
"This doesn't feel like… friend… territory anymore."
Derek doesn't say anything for a while. Stiles waits him out.
He feels his whole body drop. Derek's voice makes him weak. He's not sure if it's in a good way.
He slowly crawls farther on the bed, keeping his eyes locked with Derek until he's practically crouching in front of him. He finally looks away when he's turned, sliding a bit lower on the bed then Derek, resting between the other man's legs and dropping his back till it hits Derek's chest. The top of his head brushes against Derek's jawbone.
He wishes he could see the older man. He wishes he didn't have to feel so vulnerable. So breakable.
"Should we try waiting for your heartbeat to settle, or do you think it's going to continue like this the whole night."
"Probably the second. Yeah, definitely the second."
"You're not alone." Derek growls. Stiles' whole body tingles.
"O-okay – l-lets do this."
With shaking hands, Stiles opens the book slowly. He gasps out when he sees the picture.
"This…this is my mother," Stiles whispers. Derek's hands curl around his waist, a good thing seeing as he's pushing back against the alpha anyway. It's almost like he's trying to get his body to morph into the other. Stiles knows that this is a silly thought, but the warmth is intoxicating and so damn comforting.
"I-isn't she? This was taken…I think when I was seven? It was mother's day. Yep, I remember. This is on the lake she loved. We'd take her there every year."
"Have you ever gone back?"
"No I haven't." Damn it all if he didn't sound guilty because of it.
"Hey, that's alright. There's still plenty of time."
"Yeah you're right." Stiles agrees, nodding his head. He laughs slightly. He can feel Derek's chin nod with his head, and he can't help but to picture what this scene looks like.
Before Derek says anything, Stiles flips the page.
He laughs again; this time having nothing to do with Derek.
"This happened a year before she died. She was adamant that she was going to teach me how to play the piano. This is during one of my lessons. That glossy look says I wasn't paying any attention, but I never did though. I didn't need or want to learn the piano. I-," and Stiles was suddenly starting to gasp for breath. Tears attacked his eyes before he even felt the sting.
When he did, though, it was bad. His tears burned.
"I didn't understand what it meant to her! I should've tried harder!"
And he's shaking now, and he feels like he needs to move so he starts scrambling against Derek. No, he really needs to move. He needs to get his legs moving. Maybe pace around the room? Maybe he'll just run. That would be enough movement.
But he can't. Because no matter how hard he flails, he'll never be able to break apart from Derek's arms. Wrapped around his waist like a cage, Stiles is stuck.
"Derek! Let me go! I need to go. I need to move, god damnit!"
Derek doesn't say anything. He just holds him. He waits him out.
"Get off me! Now, Derek. You can't hold me till I feel better. You can't change what I did. I didn't understand what it meant to her! I SHOULD'VE TRIED HARDER! I SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN UP ON HER."
He stops. He cries out. It feels like it rips threw his body. If he was a wolf, he's pretty sure it would have been heard for miles.
His body goes limp. He doesn't fight anymore. He just cries.
He doesn't realize when Derek's arms go lack, or when the actual process of flipping him around happens.
He ends up being turned over though, and he wraps his arms around Derek's torso and plants his head so hard against the werewolf's sternum that it would hurt a human.
Derek's hands rub circles on his back.
They don't talk again for a half an hour.
"I avoided her for the last couple of months..."
His voice is hoarse from the crying, the screaming, and the not using it for a half an hour thing.
"Isn't that the most fucked up thing ever? We hardly talked. I couldn't stand being in the same room as her. She felt like death. I knew it was coming. I didn't care if I was wasting the time I had left with her. She felt wrong. I didn't like feeling wrong."
"You were eight years old Stiles. You were dealing with things that some adults don't even understand."
"I shouldn't have given up. I shouldn't have pushed her away."
Derek was silent.
"I'm sorry I threw you're book…and that I only made it to the second picture."
"I thought it you'd make it to the fifth or sixth. No way in hell did I actually expect you to finish it."
Stiles looked up. His face was wrecked. His eyes were puffy and his checks were stained with the tracks of his tears. He put his chin on Derek's chest, looking up at the older man with careful eyes.
"I'm not going to get over this over night…no matter how nice the gesture was."
"I would never assume that, Stiles. I just wanted to get the process rolling."
Stiles felt another tear roll down his cheek. It didn't hurt. This tear wasn't for his mother, it was for the warmth and the unbelievable feeling of safety and love Derek was giving him.
He was suddenly hyperaware of where his body was. He was literally lying on top of Derek. His chin was directly between Derek's' nipples.
"What are we doing?" Stiles murmured.
Stiles didn't miss the we're in that sentence. He also didn't miss the accompanying feeling of happiness that spread across his chest because of it.
"I mean right now. The whole me…laying on you thing."
"I don't know what you're doing but I'm waiting."
"Waiting for what?"
"Whatever you want."
"Whatever I want?"
Derek nods. His face was so serious and ridiculously intense that Stiles felt like he could crumble underneath it.
"What if what I want is more than you bargained for? What if I don't want to talk about my mom right now."
Stiles groaned in frustration.
"Jesus Derek, just tell me what you want!"
"I want what you want."
Stiles could have hit him.
"Fine. But I gave you ample warning."
Stiles lifted himself up till he was on his knees and hands, crawling up till he was sitting in Derek's lap. The other man looked at him expectantly, back resting against the wall and a smirk on his face.
"Last chance to back out." Stiles murmured, as he leaned forward, putting a hand around Derek's neck and steadying himself with it.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Derek mocks confusion. "Where is this heading anyway?"
Stiles begins to speak (it's against his nature to miss any chances of sarcastic comments) before Derek silences him.
With his lips.
With his freaking lips!
Stiles moans as Derek traces his lower lip with his tongue. He opens, leaning back slightly as a warm tongue presses into his mouth. It attaches itself to Stiles' own, and the two wither against each other.
Stiles never thought a wrestling match would ever be happening in his mouth, but he sort of thinks it's the best thing ever so he's not complaining.
In one corner stood Stiles Stilinski; The world's most awkward, talkative, and hyperactive teen. A boy who was so afraid nobody would care enough about him to show up to his graduation party. A boy who didn't realize how much he was hurting and hiding until somebody else showed him he was. A boy who had lost so much, and yet, years later, was still trying to figure out how to become whole again.
In the other corner stood Derek Hale; the world's most brooding, secretive, and quiet man. A man who didn't think he deserved the trust or the love of someone else until that someone showed him that not only did he deserve it, but he already had it. A man who lost so much, and yet, years later, was still trying to figure out how to become whole again.
Their lips slowed and Stiles pulled away.
"I want to look at a new picture every night. With you."
"I want to be your boyfriend."
Stiles eyed him wearily. His hand shook as he placed it on Derek's cheek.
"I want...I want this." Stiles' hand slowly drops and falls against the skin above Derek's heart.
"You already have it."
(24 Hours Earlier)
Stiles sprang out of bed.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Tomorrow was his graduation party, and a sudden thought had entered his mind while he was trying to drift to sleep.
He grabbed his car keys and raced downstairs. His dad was working the night shift tonight so he didn't have to worry about any excuses.
He made it to Derek's within ten minutes.
"Derek!" He screamed as he used his spare key to open the loft doors. He quickly hurried into the apartment, eyes landing on a very surprised looking alpha. He was sitting on the coach watching some TV show.
Huh, how normal.
"I just realized that we live in the 21st century and I could totally have just called you." His head fell backwards and hit the loft doors. He felt stupid.
"Call me about what?"
Stiles hands fumbled with his t-shirt, suddenly very self-conscious.
"Well, it's just…tomorrow's my party, which I'm sure you know about, but it's just….Look, I haven't properly invited you yet. Yes I've said it to you but only when I was talking to the whole pack. I want to make sure you know you're invited."
He finally looked at Derek. He still looked shocked (Stiles didn't blame him, showing up screaming at 12:30 at night was bound to surprise even Derek). But he also looked…happy?
"You came all this way to make sure I understood that I was invited to your party?"
"Yes. And don't give me that look. We all know that if you weren't specifically and directly invited you'd pull some 'I thought you were just talking to the teenagers of the pack, not me too' shit."
"You really want me there?"
Stiles sighed, exasperated.
"Yes, Derek you freaking dumb ass, I want you there. All right, we good now? Am I done embarrassing myself? I'm sure I'll see you when I see you…pack meeting Tuesday, right?"
"Well you'll see me tomorrow."
Stiles face lit up.
"You're coming?" He didn't want to hope, because hope always led to feelings of being let down, but he just couldn't help himself.
"Yes. I'll come. If it means enough for you to drive your ass across town after midnight to invite me, I'll come."
Stiles body relaxed.
"Cool. I guess…tomorrow than. You can't be awkward if it just turns out to be my dad, a few station friends, and you. You'll have to make small talk. But I think you can handle it."
Stiles was turning around when he stopped.
"People are going to come to your party. Relax, okay? They'll come. It will be great."
Stiles whole body warmed.
"You know, keep talking like that and I'll accidently fall in love with you."
"I was simply telling the truth."
"There you go again! You want to make this drive-across-town-to-give-you-an-invite into a booty call?"
Derek laughed. It was beautiful.
"Fine. Nobody's coming to your party. You'll be all alone."
"Nice try bud. Alas, our growing love affair will have to wait for another time." He dramatically lifted his arm up to his face to mock pain, before they both laughed again.
Stiles turned and started heading out the door.
"I'll see you tomorrow Stiles. I probably won't be able to talk to you though, you'll be fucking surrounded by friends and fans."
"Alright now you're just trying to hard," Stiles smiled before nodding his head in a goodbye. He turned and exited the loft, closing and locking the door behind him.
Stiles didn't realize he was at his jeep until he was sitting in the front seat. He had spent the whole trek to the parking lot thinking about how much better he felt about tomorrow.
"Damn sourwolf, who knew you could be so sweat."
This was going to be the best graduation party ever.
The End : )
A/N – Yay! I finished it! So stay turned because I'm going to have a super steamy one shot coming up that has the plot line of Stiles wanting to lose his virginity, finds a guy through an app and is going to go hook up with the stranger, but Derek stops him and decides, for Stiles safety, that he'll be his first instead. Yes lots of angst but still…
It's hot. Like, oh my god I love writing it hot. But first, tell me what you thought of The Graduation Party. Was it what you wanted it to be? Till next time… : ) love you all!