Then and now are very hard to separate for some people. For Jim they are very distinct. Then was his mother. Then was neglect. Then was abuse and pain. Then was Taurus IV. Then was the loss. The was the nagging want for love. That was then. Now is the Enterprise. Now is a family that loves him and whom he loves back. Now is exciting and adventurous. Now is sneaking out of the med bay. Now is Bones and Scotty and Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Chekov. Now is NOW. He knows that then was then, but now it's time to forget then, because it doesn't matter anymore. It's now now. End of story.