A/N: Last chapter. Thank you for reading. Once again, Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima, I make no money off this. I wish I did!
Thoroughness and Therapy
Gray whistled happily as he brought flowers to Natsu's house. Maybe flowers were not a manly gift, but he got them for free, so he figured he might as well cheer up the Dragon Slayer. Natsu had been feeling depressed since being released from the hospital. His mood swings—from feeling exuberant with newfound freedom away from doctors and nurses, to suddenly curling up in a corner sobbing—worried everyone. He was not the same, and no one knew why.
No one but Gray.
Natsu told only Gray about the flashbacks. His memory was still flaky, but suddenly, out of nowhere, someone would say something, or he would do something, or see something, or smell something. Absolutely anything could trigger a flashback. So when Gray entered the house, he knew something had happened when he saw Happy looking worried.
"Gray! Natsu, he … he's doing it again."
Gray tossed the bouquet of flowers onto a table and rushed to the bedroom. Normally, when Natsu had one of his episodes at home, he laid in bed, but this time Gray knew it must have been really bad when he saw Natsu on the floor, naked, hair wet, curled into the corner of the room, hugging a pillow and staring into space with massive, terrified eyes. With a soft curse, Gray hurried forward and hugged those warm shoulders.
"Natsu? Come on, Natsu. Come back to me." He felt a shiver run through the Dragon Slayer's body. "I'm here, Natsu. Can you hear me?"
"Gray?" he whispered distantly. A tear slipped down Natsu's cheek. "They were there. I saw them. This time, I actually saw their faces."
"Shh." Gray hugged him tightly and rocked him. "It's a memory. It happened a month ago."
"But I saw it. I … I remember. All of it, this time. Everything. It all came back."
Gray froze. The doctor had said there was a possibility that Natsu's memories could return. Gray never knew if he really wanted Natsu to relive something like that or not. Now he realized, some horrors were better left forgotten.
"It was like living through it all over again. I could … hear them. See them. Feel their hands." He sobbed and clutched tightly onto the pillow. "It was like it happened just now. I know it's just a flashback but … but it happened all over again. I was there, in that room, with those men touching me…"
"I'm the only one with you now, Natsu," Gray said gently. "What triggered it? And why are you naked?"
Natsu tried to force himself to be calm. "I was in the shower. You know how you just raise your face to the water and gargle it? I did that, and suddenly … the water. When they made me take the Deeziak drug, they poured water on my mouth to force me to swallow. I suddenly remembered that part, and then it was like all the other memories came rushing at me. It wasn't just flashes this time. The whole event, everything … it all came back. I remember when they broke my ankle, and that injury to my ear, it was because they slammed my head into the wall. That man, he … he stepped on my dick. That's how I got those cuts on my penis. I couldn't remember how it got injured like that until just now. He tried to crush my dick and balls with his boot!"
Gray instinctively flinched just imagining that.
"But now," Natsu whispered, "I also remember everything you did. All of it. There were always bits that seemed weird, missing time, fuzzy moments. Now, it's all back." He leaned his head up and wearily rested it against the wall as he smiled up to the ice mage. "You really saved me, Gray. I don't just mean that day. This whole month, dealing with the memories, with the pain and the shame … I might have gone crazy if it weren't for you."
Gray smiled gently, stroking his pink hair. "Then let me save you once more. I was going to ask anyway, but now it seems like perfect timing. Let's go on a vacation."
Natsu arched an eyebrow. "Vacation?"
"There's a ryokan with a medicinal hot spring. I got us a reservation. It's supposed to be so you can heal your ankle. It's still sore, right?"
Natsu moved his foot around. "The bone is healed, but it bugs me once in a while."
"Then it should help, and it'll get you away from all this."
Natsu smiled thankfully. "You're a very thoughtful boyfriend."
"Well, one of us has to be the mature one in the relationship, and it sure as hell isn't you."
"Bastard," Natsu pouted, but he couldn't hold back a laugh.
"Get up and get dressed. I got you flowers."
"Hey, I told you before, if you treat me like a girlfriend I'll bash in your … your … balls." Natsu's eyes went wide with the memory of that boot crushing down on him.
He gasped heavily and buried his face down into the pillow. "He … tried to … crush my…" His throat choked up.
"Shit. Come on, Natsu." Gray suddenly grabbed the Dragon Slayer up into his arms.
"The hell are you doing?" Natsu screamed, flailing about.
Gray tossed him onto the bed and laid beside him, yanking the covers over them both. "We said it before, right? You can cry in bed. That's the one place you don't have to worry about crying, because I'm the only one who will be here with you. Those men, that memory—they aren't here in your bed. Only me, and when we're like this, you can cry all you want."
"I'm not … gonna … c-cry," Natsu sputtered with tears already dripping down.
"Of course not. Just let your eyes leak all over me like a gross little boy."
"Shut up," Natsu mumbled, but he buried down into Gray's chest. "I … was scared. I really thought he'd crush them."
"I'm glad he didn't," Gray said softly, but he knew better than to crack a joke or even hint at sex when Natsu was like this. He felt those hot shoulders shuddering, and he kept Natsu close against him as the Dragon Slayer broke down into sobs.
The door opened just a crack, and Happy peeked in. Gray saw the Exceed, and he shook his head. Happy backed out, knowing from past experience that Natsu liked to act brave around everyone, even his best friend. He only showed this weakness around Gray. As Natsu's sniffles burst into convulsive, wailing sobs, the ice mage merely held him and waited, rubbing his back, hugging him close, glad to know that Natsu trusted him most out of everyone.
A week later, they arrived at the ryokan. Gray had to practically carry Natsu, who was sick from the train ride followed by a cart ride up into some picturesque foothills. However, once inside the room with its private hot spring tub, he immediately began to revive. He walked to an enclosed patio with stone flooring. A round pool was in the center, encircled by bamboo and potted fragrant flowers, with a glass ceiling to let in natural light.
"I can't believe it. A hot spring right inside the room. Gray, this must have cost a fortune."
"It's only for two nights," he shrugged. While Natsu was in the hospital, Gray had been doing extra missions, saving up for something like this as a way to lift the Dragon Slayer's spirits. The massive grin on Natsu's face was enough for him.
"Can I jump in now?"
"Knock yourself out."
Natsu stripped right out of his clothes, not even aware of how Gray stood back and watched with such a tender smile. As Natsu eased himself into the hot water, Gray felt warm inside, hoping this trip really would help Natsu to recover, not just his ankle, but his heart as well.
"It's hot. You'll hate it."
"Che! If I can handle you, I can handle some water."
Gray stripped his clothes as well, but he was smart enough to bring towels over. Sure enough, the water was scalding, and Gray had to ease in slowly, flinching the whole time. At last, he was down, and Natsu sat across from him. Steam drifted between them as they gazed at one another, minds a flurry, hearts racing as both imagined all the things they could do with a private pool like this.
"Give me your ankle," Gray offered.
Natsu popped his foot up and wiggled his toes playfully. Gray took it in his lap and began a deep massage to help the soreness. Natsu leaned his head back and moaned as those thumbs hit the tendons that ached whenever he had to walk long distances for missions. Then up the arch of Natsu's foot, and the Dragon Slayer let out a wanton groan that shot right to Gray's groin.
Natsu felt Gray's hips shifting, and he peeked an eye open. Gray's face was red, and Natsu guessed it was from more than just the hot water. He moaned again, and he saw Gray gulp hard. Smirking to himself, Natsu moved his foot a little closer until it pressed against Gray's arousal. He heard a hissed inhale, but he kept his head leaned back as if merely savoring the massage. His toes moved, rubbing the thick shaft. Gray moved his hands up off the arch and back to the ankle, pulling Natsu's foot a little closer and pressing it more against his arousal.
When Natsu raised his head and looked across the pool, Gray's eyes were narrow and staring hard. Natsu could hardly help but chuckle at that salacious gaze. He rubbed a little firmer, using his toes to rub over the cockhead.
"Nngh," Gray moaned softly, struggling to hold back.
Those cold hands crept higher, up Natsu's leg, to his thigh. At that point, they gave up the massage, and Gray crawled over, sitting on top of Natsu's lap. Slowly, he thrust his hips forward, grinding his cock against the Dragon Slayer's burning arousal. Natsu moaned lowly and dropped his head, watching as they rubbed against one another under the water.
"You always like to watch," Gray noted.
Those green eyes gazed up. "I like to know it's you."
Such an answer was still just a little troubling. Gray knew Natsu had issues with keeping in the moment and not slipping into bad memories.
"It'd be a shame if the water got dirty," Gray whispered lustfully, hoping to pull both of them away from that issue.
That was enough to get them to stand up and climb out of the pool. Gray grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Natsu's body, using it to yank him closer. Natsu looked up, his eyes pleading for a kiss, but Gray smirked as he denied it for the moment. His hands rubbed up and down Natsu's body, drying it with the towel, while frotting up against him. Natsu grabbed Gray's hips, holding him still so he could thrust up against him, rubbing in a way best for him.
"You're a horny little dragon," Gray chuckled.
He discarded the towel and led Natsu over to the bed. They laid down, and Gray immediately rolled to lean slightly over Natsu. Finally, he granted that kiss, and Natsu moaned into it. His eyes fluttered down as Gray's tongue plunged into him. It licked around his own tongue, circling, curling around his teeth, searching out all the flavors of the Fire Dragon Slayer's mouth.
Gray's fingers caressed through Natsu's hair. It was always so surprisingly soft. Then he drifted down his neck, to his chest, and flitted across a nipple, not enough to get a moan, just lightly enough to get Natsu to inhale a little sharper.
Natsu kept his eyes closed, savoring the cold touches. For this whole month, the two had tried to recapture the passion they felt in the warehouse, but although he liked the tenderness Gray showed him, Natsu had an issue with getting completely intimate. He had forced himself to once, nearly two weeks ago, after getting released from the hospital. He managed to keep calm to the end, but he had nightmares for days. He wanted sex—God, he wanted it!—but there was always something stopping him.
He worried that Gray might not be patient enough to wait for him.
He felt Gray's cock press against his leg. Natsu reached down and stroked it, heating his hand just a little, enough to get Gray to groan. Then the ice mage reached down to hold him.
"Damn, you've got a hot cock," he moaned, running his fingers up and down the shaft.
Natsu flinched. A memory resurfaced.
"Let me stroke him some. Damn, he's got one burning hot cock. Oh fuck, I'm really ready to jizz."
"You idiot, you can't last even two minutes with the girls, and you're worse with boys. Here, I'll hold his face. Let's make him eat it. Swallow it down, Fairy Dog!"
Natsu slammed his eyes shut, trying to forget it.
Gray pulled away worriedly. "Natsu?"
He forced himself to smile. "It's nothing."
Gray looked concerned. He kissed Natsu, hoping to keep him in the present. The oddest things triggered memories, and Gray never knew what words would set him off. The most he could do was show Natsu that this was not just about sex. They only had sex once since that time, and Gray didn't care. He wanted to care for Natsu. He wanted to keep being the one person who the Dragon Slayer could turn to when the flashbacks hit. Being the shoulder to cry on and the hands to hug him … that was enough for now.
He loved Natsu. The Dragon Slayer had claimed him, and he wanted to live up to that. If it took Natsu time before he could get intimate again, Gray would keep waiting.
He reached down, stroking Natsu again, deciding it was best not to say anything. He moaned instead when he felt that fiery shaft. Natsu's whimper seemed to be encouraging, too. Gray held it just a little firmer and stroked it faster.
Natsu caught his breath. The squeeze on his cock, the tightness on that area…
"Does it hurt, boy? It's what you get for bringing your friends along to try to capture us. No one fucks with us, or we fuck them back … literally!"
Natsu turned his head to the side and with closed eyes he shuddered out, "N-no…"
Gray looked down, really concerned now. "Natsu?"
Natsu's eyes opened wide when he heard his name, and he jolted to look up at Gray. He relaxed a bit when he saw the raven hair and stormy-sky eyes, but then he felt guilty for ruining the moment.
"Natsu," Gray ordered firmly. "Look at me."
Feeling miserable and weak, Natsu stared up with glazed eyes. He felt that hand on him again and flinched.
"Keep looking at me. Don't you dare look away."
Natsu forced his eyes back onto Gray. He felt the stroking, but he focused on the droopy eyes above him.
"This is me doing this. I won't let any other bastard touch you. I'm your mate, right?" Gray leaned over and kissed him, then looked deep into his eyes. "I'm a hellishly covetous boyfriend. Don't even think about anyone else touching you while I'm stroking you off. I'll be jealous. Now, touch me, too. Heat your hand up like before. I love it when you do that."
Natsu shivered slightly. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Right then, Gray remembered Natsu's reactions to dirty talk. He leaned in closer to his ear, whispering with wisps of cold breath. "I like the feel of your rough hand on my cock."
Natsu jolted and inhaled sharply at the words.
"I like how you stroke me, and how your hand heats up. It makes my dick hurt so bad, and makes me feel so good."
A slight whimper shivered out. "Masochist," he accused with a moan.
"You can be my sadistic little dragon anytime. I'd love to feel that fire in me." Saying that gave Gray an idea. "I don't like to ask this, but … did those men suck on you?"
Natsu crunched up his face in disgust. Why the hell would Gray ask something like that? "No, they never did something like that. Why?"
"Good." He slid off the edge of the bed and rested on his knees, dragging Natsu's body to follow. "Sit up," he ordered. Natsu blushed as he sat, his legs hanging off the bed, with Gray sitting between his spread knees. The ice mage gazed up to him, and those erotic blue eyes shined with promises of pleasure. "I wanna give you your first blow job."
Natsu flushed at how blunt he was about it. He put a hand on Gray's head, wondering if he should stop him. "You don't have to."
"Idiot, I know I don't have to. I want to. I want you to watch how I do it, because one day, when you're ready, I want you to do it back to me." He lowered down, keeping his eyes locked up on that stunned face. "Keep watching. Feel everything I do. Learn from it, just as you would learn techniques while fighting someone."
Natsu stared down like a beast watching its prey, taking in how the prey moved, its speed, determining strengths and weaknesses. He stared so hard at Gray, it was a little unnerving. Gray lowered his eyes to the huge cock in front of him. He remembered teasing Natsu in that nightmarish warehouse about sucking out the poison. Now, he hoped he could suck out the residue of that poison that still affected Natsu's heart.
Gray licked around the head, lapping off a drip of bitter pre-cum. Then his tongue dragged down the underside to Natsu's sack. Natsu flinched at the wet touch to that sensitive area. Gray gazed up again and saw Natsu's face pinched up tight.
"Look at me," he ordered, and the squinty eyes opened again.
He held Natsu's cock, keeping the massive arousal up, and then dipped down to take the balls into his mouth. A part of Gray knew this was a risky move. Since regaining his memories, Natsu was overly-sensitive about his scrotum. This would either trigger something bad, or help show him that this area of his body could also feel pleasure. Like a teabag, he dipped those scalding balls into his mouth, sucking on them, licking, being careful with this extremely sensitive area.
"Oh God, Gray!"
His fist tightened in the black hair, and he almost pulled Gray away. However, something stayed his hand.
In Natsu's mind flickered the memory: a smashing boot, agony, humiliation, fear. It flashed just briefly, then shattered like glass. That was the past. That was some asshole who was now rotting in jail. This here, this now … this was Gray Fullbuster. This was the man he loved, the man who gave him, not pain, but intense pleasure.
"Gray," he shuddered, releasing the grip in his hair and stroking it back instead. He let himself relax and truly feel the erotic bliss of Gray's mouth around his balls, being so tender with him. "I … I like that."
Gray hardly realized how tense he was until he sank in relief. He pulled back and gazed up. "It's okay?" he asked worriedly.
Natsu nodded with a soft and relaxed smile. Gray felt immensely relieved that his small act helped Natsu overcome one issue, but he knew there were many more pains inside his heart. Buzzing with happiness, Gray licked the erection, licked and licked, too happy to care if it looked ridiculous rather than erotic.
"H-Hey! That tickles," Natsu complained with a giggle.
Then, with no warning, Gray plunged down onto the stiff arousal.
Natsu groaned and fisted up the sheets, trying to hold himself back. He could feel the back of Gray's throat, the resistance met there, and his tongue moving on him. Slowly, Gray pulled back up to the head, his lips tight around him, his tongue flicking the slit, and he gazed up. Natsu swore Gray had never looked so sexy as this, with his eyes gazing up and his mouth filled with cock.
Gray popped his mouth free for a moment. "Are you watching?"
Natsu swallowed hard and eked out, "Yeah."
An arrogant smile lifted his cheeks. "Do you like it?"
Natsu nodded vigorously, hoping for more action and less talking.
"You can come in my mouth if you want. I wanna taste it."
Natsu couldn't help it. Those words made his whole groin area thrust as pure lust surged through him.
"Easy there!" Gray laughed. "Hey, wanna try something?"
"Is it kinky?"
"Hell yes!" Gray licked Natsu right up the shaft while keeping his eyes up into that heated gaze. "I want you to mouth-fuck me."
Natsu looked intrigued but confused. "Isn't that what we're doing?"
"No, I'm giving you a blow job, sucking you off. I just figured you'd want in on the action. Stand up."
Gray scooted back to give Natsu room to stand, then raised on his knees a little higher to be at the right height.
"Now, thrust into my mouth."
Gray wrapped his lips around the shaft, but he held still, gazing up, waiting, encouraging with his eyes. Slowly, lacking confidence, Natsu moved his hips, hesitantly thrusting into Gray's waiting mouth. When he pulled out, Gray sucked, and Natsu clenched up. Gray's tongue lapped around him while keeping a tight hold with his lips. Natsu reached down, held Gray's head, and pressed in again, guiding himself in by feeling where Gray's head was. Then he pulled out, and the suction made him plunge in harder.
"Fuck, Gray," he hissed.
The idea of having Natsu simply thrusting into him like this made Gray moan, vibrating against Natsu's cock.
"Oh..." he groaned tensely. "Do that again."
Gray moaned, putting as much vibration into his mouth as he could. Natsu's hips snapped harder, thrusting against Gray's throat until he had to hold Natsu's thighs back before he triggered the gag reflexes. Instead, Gray tightened his lips around Natsu and used his tongue to press that cock up against the roof of his mouth.
Natsu suddenly felt not only tightness of the lips, but the textured bumps of Gray's tongue and the ridges on his mouth, all of it massaging his cock. His hips snapped forward, and he heard a gag from Gray. His sadistic side liked that, so he did it again, rammed against Gray's throat. The ice mage flinched, and tears lined his eyes. Dammit, but the Dragon Slayer had strength in those thrusts! Gray's moans made vibrations that shot straight to the coil in Natsu's gut, snapping everything inside him. Natsu sped up, pounding that mouth, ignoring the hums of discomfort.
"Nngh … G-Gray … Gray!" he screamed, the only warning he could get out before coming hard with the buildup of so many weeks without a release.
Gray kept the salty fluid in his mouth until Natsu's cock stopped twitching, then pulled back, slowly withdrawing, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked one last time, until Natsu's softening cock popped out. Then he waited until Natsu looked down at him, flushed with fulfillment, before thickly gulping it all down and catching a breath with a lick to his lips. Those heated eyes widened as he saw Gray's throat work. The ice mage rested down on his heels and smirked up at the crimson embarrassment on the Dragon Slayer's face.
"You taste hot."
Natsu smirked down at him. "It felt like you were trying to suck the fire right out of me."
"I think I just did." Gray stood and shoved Natsu back to the pillows. He collapsed beside the pink-haired boy and cuddled against him while Natsu caught his breath. "Was that okay?"
"Hell yeah," Natsu exclaimed airily. Then he glanced over. "Hey, you need it, too."
"Yeah, but that can wait. You're way too sexy when you're spent."
Natsu pouted and turned away. "Shut up," he muttered. "Why did you do that?"
"What? Did you not like it?"
"Of course I did. I'm just curious. You could have just banged my ass."
"You don't seem to like that."
"I do," Natsu mumbled guiltily. "It's just … I…" The cringing in his face showed just how far he still needed to go in order to heal all the pain in his heart.
Gray leaned over him, stroking his cheeks to draw him away from the flashbacks. "I want to figure out what you like, what's okay. If something isn't okay, we won't do it, simple as that."
"But what if it's something you wanna do?"
"Natsu, there are a thousand kinky things I want to do to you. You won't like some, and you'll really love others. I just have to figure out which ones are which. You were okay with this, right?"
"Good. There are lots of variations to blow jobs, you know."
Natsu's eyes widened with eagerness.
"See," Gray teased. "Why should we waste time on things you don't like when there's a world of kinky fuckery to discover?"
"Kinky fuckery? Seriously, don't ever call it that. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
Gray smirked. "Should I call it lovemaking?"
Natsu blushed and tipped his head away. "M-maybe. I mean, unless you're just in this for the sex."
"I'm a hot guy. I could get sex anywhere."
Natsu's face flamed in outrage. "Bastard! Aren't you being too conceded?"
Gray let his fingers glide over Natsu's chest. "I don't just need sex, is what I'm saying." He began to lean over Natsu's body again, kissing his neck. "I want to take care of you. I want to have fun together." He nibbled over the scar, feeling the rapid pulse in Natsu's throat. "I want to fill you up with pleasure, help you forget about that dreadful day. I want to heal you."
Natsu's arms shot out and forced Gray back. The tense fury in his face shocked the ice mage. "Don't use sex as some sort of psychological therapy, Gray. I don't want that. And I don't want to forget. I finally remembered everything."
"It's giving you nightmares."
"Then I'll deal with it," he shouted angrily, "but don't use sex to cure me. I don't want to think in the back of my head that you're only banging me to help me out, like back then." Natsu closed his eyes and turned his tormented face away. "I don't ever want to feel indebted like that again."
"It didn't stay that way for long, you know."
"I know, but … the first time … I lost my virginity, not because you wanted to make love, but because you realized I was sick and needed to be cured. Now, every time we try to do it again…" Natsu's throat tightened so hard, he had to stop speaking and swallow down his emotions. "Every time you enter me, I'm forced back into that moment. I know we eventually worked things out, but … right then, right at that moment, it wasn't out of love. I can't sort it out in my head just yet. Why did you do it? Why did I allow it? It's too much to think about while trying to enjoy sex. I end up going in circles, forgetting where I am, until finally I'm back in that moment, and it freaks me out."
Gray caressed a tear away from Natsu's cheek. "Is it only when I enter you? That didn't happen just now, did it?"
"With you sucking me? No, that was fine."
Gray nodded to himself. "It seems pretty obvious, then."
Natsu flinched and looked over to Gray in fear. Obvious? Like, the only solution was to break up? That was his worst fear. For how much he did not want Gray to feel like he merely had to cure him, he also knew that without Gray's constant support, he would have been a messed up mental case by now.
After a moment of tense silence, Gray said with determination, "I want you to make love to me, Natsu."
The Dragon Slayer's eyes widened in surprise. He had not expect that at all. "You mean … me … to you?"
"You on top. That's what I mean. If being the receiver triggers flashbacks, then let's see if you being the giver is okay."
Natsu folded his arms over his chest stubbornly. "Are you saying that just to cure me again?"
"Oh, hell no! It's something I really wanna try. I would've eventually suggested it anyway, I've been wanting to for weeks, but I wasn't sure if you'd be ready. If it's not good, don't force yourself. Simple as that. It's just something else I wanna try to see if we both like it."
"And … I can … put it in?"
Gray laughed at his stunned expression. "That's the general idea, yeah. I mean, if you don't want to—"
Two hands forced Gray flat onto the bed, and before he could complain about the roughness, he saw Natsu on top of him, those strong arms caging him down, those narrow eyes glinting with desire.
"Easy there, dragon," Gray laughed. Oh yes, this was going to be fun!
"Can I do anything I want?" Natsu asked, breathing hard with anticipation.
Gray's brow creased. "That's always been the case."
Natsu's eyes flicked one way, then another, thinking back through their times being intimate together, wondering why he felt differently. "It was always … you. You'd do things. I just waited to see what you'd do."
"Well, there's your problem! No wonder I always felt so exhausted. Lovemaking is between two people, each one taking a role. It's not one person doing the work while the other lies back." To show him, Gray's hands reached around Natsu and eased him closer. "Maybe I should teach you this, make it your Sex Education lesson for the day."
Natsu laughed at his teasing yet seductive tone. "I think I learn best when it's hands-on."
"I'll give you an oral exam later."
Natsu leaned down to Gray, barely letting his lips flutter over his mouth. "I thought I already passed your oral exam."
"Idiot. Obviously that was the pretest. I have to see if you learned from my example."
Natsu flinched, and Gray felt a shiver in his muscles. He rubbed the bronzed arms comfortingly.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
Natsu squirmed, but Gray held him in place. He wasn't going to let him back out of this now.
"This isn't a flashback. I can tell in your eyes. What is it?"
"Well, I just … I … I don't think I can do what you did. Those men … they—"
"Shhh." Gray put his finger to Natsu's lips. "If you can't, then we won't. Easy as that. Let's figure out what you like first. We can sort out the rest later."
"I just feel guilty. I'm holding us back. I'm the one with these issues, and you—"
"Natsu!" he snapped. "You're seriously killing the mood here. Are you gonna make love to me or not? My boner needs to know whether to stay up or go down."
Natsu laughed at how easily Gray could move him past the pain of the past and force him back into the present. They had talked this issue to death over the past month, and they would probably talk about it more in the future. He did not want to waste their weekend discussing it all over again. Right now, he wanted to stay in the moment. He wanted to pleasure Gray in any way he could. Gray showed him all sorts of attention, so Natsu wanted to do the same back.
Natsu leaned over and kissed Gray, timidly at first, but those soft lips froze away the monsters of the past. The worries, the fears, the nightmares, they all left when he heard Gray's deep hum of pleasure. Natsu pulled back, and he saw how Gray's mouth tried to follow up with him, then sank back down in displeasure at the lack of contact. The fact that Gray craved him this much boosted Natsu's confidence.
He leaned over quickly and ran his tongue over Gray's nipple. The pale body under him arched with a groan. Then Natsu lathed the other nipple, and Gray whimpered in pleasure. Natsu's fingers rubbed up and down the taut abdominal muscles, stroking heat into the chilly skin. Those hot caresses and moist tongue licking all over his cold body made Gray moan loudly.
Those heated sounds and the smell of Gray's arousal drove Natsu crazy. He wanted to taste all of Gray.
All of him!
Slowly, Natsu kissed down his stomach, getting closer to his groin. Gray looked up with concern.
"Hey, if you can't do that, don't force yourself. I want you fucking me, not spazzing out on me."
"Shut up. I don't think I can suck on you just yet, but there's something else I wanna try."
"Something … else?"
Natsu only licked down the shaft. The idea of putting it into his mouth brought up memories of the ball gag the abductors had used, and those cocks that had been in his face, covering him in filth. The way his stomach clenched at just the idea, he knew that, for now, blow jobs were off limits. He had a long way to go with healing before he could do that. However, Gray had said they should explore what he could do, and there was something he wanted to try, even if it was weird.
"I don't think I can put something into my mouth," he explained, "but I think licking is okay."
"Oh," Gray said, clearly confused yet intrigued. "Well, if you want to lick me off…"
"Tempting, but not quite what I had in mind."
He grabbed Gray, and with surprising strength, flipped him around hard. Gray landed on his stomach, and his face smashed into the pillow below. He cussed into the downy fluff, but before he could lift his head to get a proper curse out, Natsu spoke again.
"Lift your ass into the air."
Gray gulped and turned his head to look at Natsu's face. Was he planning to do what he thought this was? Curious, he obeyed, if only to see if he was right. Natsu's eyes narrowed as Gray's ass lifted for him. Automatically, his hand reached for his own cock, needing to hold himself back as Gray's tiny entrance became visible to him. He licked his lips hungrily. Fire coursed through his veins as he gazed at the wanton position.
"You look like such a slut," he whispered.
Gray frowned at that. Maybe Natsu got off on dirty talk, but it did not do much for Gray.
Natsu took both butt cheeks into his hands, spreading them, then bringing them together. Gray groaned as those hot hands kneaded into him. Natsu did this over and over again, then leaned over and blew steamed air onto the tiny hole while the cheeks were spread, only to push them back together and make Gray really feel that heat. A gurgled grunt escaped the ice mage.
Natsu was enthralled by the pink marks his fingers left behind on the soft globes. He buried his face between them, breathing in the musky scent.
"Oh! Dammit! Natsu, no … don't … nnngh! Oh God!"
Natsu licked up and down Gray's crack, from balls to spine, and swirled his tongue in tiny circles around his opening. He hummed around Gray's twitching hole, earning another tight-throated choking noise, before finally sticking in his tongue. Gray was so cold on the outside, but Natsu always suspected he was a normal warm-blooded man inside. Sure enough, he was right. His insides were hot, and Natsu's tongue plunged into that warmth.
After some low groans and much clawing of the sheets, Gray managed to regain a bit of composure. Dammit, but that tongue was scalding! He feared to know just how hot Natsu's cock would be … and he was eager to find out!
Natsu felt the ring of muscles soften, accepting the shallow thrusts as he fucked Gray's ass with his tongue. It wasn't as gross as he feared. Gray was fresh out of the bath, after all, still damp and smelling of mineral water. The muskiness of his arousal was strong here, overwhelming Natsu's nose and nearly shutting down his brain. His index finger wiggled in, joining alongside the tongue. He pumped both in and out at a quick pace. He felt Gray's muscles clench around him, and a shiver ran down his spine. He was so … tight!
Then he put a second finger in and stretched Gray carefully. The ice mage was keeping quiet, and it worried Natsu. Was he doing this all wrong? Was Gray in pain and trying to hide it? Then he saw Gray's face flinch. His heart just about stopped until he saw the crimson blush spreading across his cheeks.
Natsu understood now. Gray was afraid to make too much noise. It was cute!
"You probably need three fingers, right?"
"Yeah," Gray whispered, focused to keep stoic. "You're rather large."
Natsu felt like blushing at the compliment. Instead, he wiggled one more finger in.
"Shit!" Gray screamed. He grabbed Natsu's wrist, holding him still. "Shit, shit, shit … just … hold on." He took a breath and let it out slowly, relaxing with the exhale. Natsu watched with a troubled face. Why did it hurt Gray so much?
Natsu pulled back as something dawned on him. "Have you ever done this before?"
Gray flinched slightly at the question. "Um, no. Not bottoming."
"Are you sure you want to?"
"Yeah." He looked up at Natsu with a weak but determined smile. "I want you to be my first."
Natsu blinked in surprise. His mouth opened to speak, then closed to swallow something into his parched throat, then opened again, but no words came.
"You look like a moron," Gray stated flatly.
Natsu's mouth closed and pouted. "Hey, do we have lube? My fingers are dry. It'd probably help."
"Yeah, it's…" Gray looked around. "Crap, it's in my coat pocket."
"Don't move." Natsu withdrew his fingers and trotted over to where Gray had undressed, with the coat laid neatly over a chair. He dug around with his clean hand until he found a little bottle. He brought it back over to the bed, climbed on, and took off the lid.
"Forget the fingers," Gray said and he flipped around to lie on his back and face Natsu. "Just go for it."
"Payback for what I did to you our first time."
"Hmm, as I recall, you were quite rough."
"As per your request."
Natsu leaned down into his face with a smirk. "So, how would you like me to do it?"
Gray reached up and caressed his face with a cold yet tender touch. "Slow and gentle. Make love to me. But when I ask for it, be ready to ravage me like the dragon you are!"
Light gleamed in Natsu's eyes. Words were unneeded now. Those eyes spoke loudly enough, and that gleam said 'Dear God, I want to love this man for the rest of my life.' Natsu bent over, giving Gray a burning yet chastely restrained kiss.
"As you wish."
Natsu drizzled as much lube as he could on himself, far more than was probably necessary, but a little extra never hurt. For good measure, he let some dribble onto Gray's ass and rubbed it around, slicking a finger in again, just one to make sure it was coated well inside. Grasping himself, he aligned as well as he could and gently, oh so gently, pressed in…
Natsu frowned, but the slick cock sliding over Gray's ass, over his sack, and up to his tense erection made Gray moan. If it was an accident, Gray certainly wasn't complaining. Natsu took a firmer grip this time and made sure to line up, keeping a hold on it as he pressed.
And tried to press again.
'Dammit, how hard can it be?'
"Trouble?" Gray asked in amusement.
"I've got this. You're too damn tight."
"Maybe so," Gray acceded. "I'm a bit nervous."
He sure did not look nervous, but then again, Gray kept a cool composure most of the time. "Well, relax. I'm not gonna shoot flames up your ass."
"You sure as hell better not! Knowing you, you could."
"You know, our first time, I half expected your cum to turn into ice inside of me."
"I've been known to do that, ya know."
Natsu glared down. "Don't talk about what you've done with other people when I'm with you."
"I'm just saying, if that's something you want to feel some time—"
"What I wanna feel right now is the inside of your body. Loosen up, dammit."
"I'm trying. It's not easy when I see that monster about to enter me."
"Scared of it?" Natsu asked haughtily.
"Shut up, asshole!"
"I'm trying to get into your asshole, so loosen up."
"Yeah, yeah. Try it again."
Natsu pressed, and this time the tip slipped through the tight ring of muscles.
"Well, that's better!" He looked to Gray and saw his eyes closed, his face slack, and his breathing even. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Shut up. Focusing." He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "More."
Natsu pressed until the entire flared head was in. He watched Gray flinch, then focus on whatever meditation he was doing to keep relaxed. Natsu felt the muscles loosen, and in one slow but even glide, he was in fully.
"Wow. You'll have to teach me that trick."
"It's called patience and concentration, two things you utterly lack."
"I'm patient. I'm going slow."
"You just entered, idiot flame-brain. How long will you keep it slow?"
"Until you tell me otherwise."
"And if I never say it?"
"Then I'll keep making love so slowly, our two days here will pass and you'll still be under me begging to come."
"Tempting, but we could try that test of endurance another day, when I'm not paying for a nice room."
"Can I move?"
Gray thought about it. "Slowly. It's … weird."
"A little," he admitted. "Not as bad as I thought, but still … I'll need to soak my ass after this."
"Good thing we have a pool for your aching virgin ass."
"Not virgin anymore."
"Nope. Claimed under the banner of Natsu Dragneel."
"Which makes you fully my mate," Gray smiled lovingly, and the tender words stopped Natsu's playful banter. "Now move your cock, dammit."
"You sure know how to kill a good moment."
"I'm trying to make a better moment. So move!"
As his hips pulled out and thrust in, Natsu gazed down at Gray. Every flinch, every gasp, every tense draw of his brows as something hurt, or gagging gasp when something felt truly incredible … all of it intrigued Natsu.
To think, he was the one giving pleasure. It was way different from other times. As he thrust in and watched Gray's reactions, his mind was nowhere near that place of horror. It was fully here, in this ryokan, all focus on the lover under him. Sweat made Gray's black hair stick to his forehead, and Natsu wiped it back off his scarred brow. Then he leaned forward and kissed the center of Gray's head.
The ice mage peeked an eye open and saw that narrow gaze watching intently. Natsu smiled as their eyes met, filled with a joy he could never express in words. His gaze never left Gray's face. His heart pounded hard, and his eyes glistened with tears he refused to shed, happy that he could give such pleasure to another person. He used to hope that, one day, he would find a mate to love dearly. Now he found that mate in the most unimaginable person.
Gray eventually got flustered at those intense eyes. "Bastard, don't watch me like that."
Natsu chuckled softly at the blushing face. "Fine then."
He closed his eyes and leaned forward, kissing Gray with fiery ardor. Gray began to reach up, but Natsu's fingers grasped his hands and pressed Gray down, pinning him to the bed. Natsu was still being gentle, but that little bit of dominance made Gray quiver with delight.
The sunlight slanted through the patio glass as minutes ticked by. The room was already moist and warm from the hot spring; now the smell of sweat and musky arousal added to it. The drawn out chirps of cicadas barely masked the sounds of moist thrusts and gentle moaning. The bed rocked slowly as Natsu obeyed, not speeding up, but keeping Gray right on the brink of orgasm and holding him there, sometimes stopping completely if he felt the ice mage tensing too much. He could smell the wax and wane of Gray's body, how his scent was subtly different when he was close, and how that scent faded when he relaxed again. The sheets were tangled with Gray clutching at them and Natsu digging his toes in to thrust again and again.
"Almost…" Gray hissed and tensed. "Touch me."
Natsu stroked Gray's shaft in time to his thrusts. "Do you like this? Do you like when I stroke your throbbing cock?"
Gray peeked an eye open. "My what?"
"You sound so slutty, like a bitch in heat—"
"Natsu, seriously, don't."
He paused and looked down in confusion. "What's wrong?"
"Don't talk like that."
"Do you mean dirty talk?"
"Yeah. That doesn't work on me," Gray muttered.
"But what I said—"
"Dirty talk isn't my thing, okay? It works on you, and I don't mind talking like that, but when I hear it said back to me … it's just … not my thing. But erotic talk, that works."
Natsu blinked in surprised. "There's a difference?"
"A huge difference! For one, don't cuss, don't insult, don't be crude, just … just tell me…" He blushed and looked aside. "Tell me how much you like it. Tell me how good you feel. That sort of stuff. But be tender about it."
"You have a surprising gentle side to you."
"Gotta problem with that?"
"Nope!" Natsu grinned happily to know how to make things a little better for Gray's pleasure. He leaned into Gray's ear and tried again. "I love feeling my cock inside you."
"No cock. Don't say cock. It ruins the mood."
Natsu pouted and thought again. "I thought you'd be cold inside, just like your skin, but you're surprisingly warm, gentle … smooth. Being inside you is like heaven. It's amazing, having our bodies joined like this. I'm part of you, Gray."
The ice mage gasped at that, and Natsu took notice.
"I want to stay part of you, so close that our bodies merge. Fire … inside ice!" He gave a slightly harder thrust as he said that.
"I love to hear you say my name. It makes me shudder deep inside, like I could come just by listening to your voice. Such a sexy, deep voice!"
"No, too crude."
Natsu frowned. What a picky guy! Then Natsu thought of an idea. He leaned over and gave Gray a languid kiss. "Your lips are cold, but so soft. I want to warm those lips up." He kissed Gray again, tugging on his lower lip. Then his hands stroked over his chest. "I want to warm all of your body, Gray. Every inch of it. With my hands…" He rubbed lazy circles around his chest, avoiding the nipples, which only made Gray squirm more. "…with my mouth…" He leaned over and licked the nipples, left and then right, getting a sweetly seductive mewl from the ice mage. "…with my whole body. I want to melt you, and love you, and be the flame that keeps you warm at night." He leaned right up into Gray's ear and whispered, "I want to love you forever … my mate."
"Nnnngh … Natsu! Okay, fast now. Go for it."
Natsu still rocked his hips slowly. "Do you want me to pleasure you more?"
"Nngh … mm-hmm," he nodded.
"Do you want me to make love to you more vigorously?"
"Look at me."
Gray opened his eyes widely, and his straining body relaxed.
Natsu leaned down and breathed, "I'm gonna make love to you so thoroughly, so roughly, but so tenderly, you'll hurt in the morning, and you'll be begging me for more. You'll wake me up to make love to you in the middle of the night, and again as the sun rises, and right after lunch, again and again. By the end of this weekend, your ass will be well acquainted with my … with…" He almost went into dirty talk, but he stopped in time. "I'll make you ache, Gray. Ache with need for me. When you wake up sore, I'll kiss away all your pain. I'll kiss you … everywhere."
Gray was very near breathless. "You're getting better at talking like this."
"It's a pain in the ass, y'know."
"So's your dick."
Natsu laughed at the witty comeback. "Tell me what you want … and tell me dirty."
Gray's face snarled hungrily. "Fuck me hard."
Natsu slammed fully in and held there while he recovered from the throbbing pleasure of those naughty words. "More. Tell me more."
"I want you to jackhammer that fiery cock into my ass. I want you to come in me, fill me up, burn me inside. I want you to fuck me so hard, so brutally, I'll be screaming your name like a whore."
"Shit!" Natsu hissed, spurred on by those erotic words. He rammed fiercely, and the bed rocked with every thrust.
"N-Na- … -tsu! Oh … oh God. Ahh … nngh … yesss!"
"Touch … touch me … m-more! Yes! Na- … Natsu!"
"No … gonna come … now!"
Natsu slammed in and stiffened. Gray felt scalding heat inside.
"Hot … hot … oh my God, that's hot! Gaaaaah!"
The pain of the heat filling him finally drove Gray over the edge. His back arched and his toes curled as Natsu's hand stroked all the lust out of him in spurts of white and growls of fulfillment.
Finally, Natsu collapsed over Gray. He panted in exhaustion, slow and even breaths straining his lungs, then licked his dry lips. He wearily lifted himself and looked down at the ice mage under him. Gray's head had collapsed to the side, and he was gasping just as hard. Those blue eyes finally opened and gazed up at the narrow sage-green eyes squinting down at him.
"Was that … better … for you?" Gray asked through heavy panting.
Natsu smiled with a weak chuckle. "That was pretty damn amazing." He slowly pulled out.
Gray glanced down. "Thank God you shrank! I couldn't handle another round."
Natsu laughed wearily. "You know, I liked it this way so much, I might never want to bottom again."
"Screw that idea!"
"Yep," he said flippantly, "I think I'll top from now on."
"That's it, I'm gonna do everything I can to get you over your trauma, because I wanna be in your ass again one day."
"I dunno, I like being dominant over you."
"This isn't a frigging brawl. You don't win or lose."
"Sure felt like I won against you, though. Or won against something."
"Idiot," Gray muttered, but he hid his smile. He understood perfectly well that the thing Natsu had won against was his own lack of confidence. This was a personal victory for Natsu, and definitely a step toward a full recovery.
Natsu curled into Gray like a cute pink kitten. The ice mage chuckled at such playful adorableness after fierce and erotic lovemaking. Really, this was a side to Natsu nobody saw. No one but him.
"Gray," Natsu yawned.
"I'm really happy now. This vacation was a good idea."
Gray sighed with relief and stroked his head tenderly. "I'm really glad," he whispered, and Gray kissed Natsu on the forehead. "Don't fall asleep yet."
"Nu-uh. Sweepy…" Natsu mumbled like a drowsy kid.
"At least you need to clean up."
"Sheesh, what a baby!" Gray smirked to himself and leaned into Natsu's ear. "I really wanna take a shower with you."
That perked Natsu up instantly. "Really? You wanna?"
Gray laughed at the glittering eyes filled with innocent excitement. He tackled Natsu to the bed, pinned him down, and kissed him passionately.
"Yeah. I wanna."
Then he rolled off and extended his hand to the Dragon Slayer. Natsu grasped his chilly fingers, and Gray pulled him to get clean, leaving the chaotic mess behind.