Author's Note: Yo, am I kicked out of this fandom yet? If Rick Riordan or his family or his publisher ever saw this, they'd kick me out of the fandom. *Goes to crawl in a hole*

*Sighs* You weren't at Comic-Con, I wasn't at Comic-Con...WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.


How to Write a PJO Fanfiction
(and Things That You Must Never Do While Writing That Said Fanfiction)


Chapter Seven: Attention Hogs

HEY HEY HEY I'M OVER HERE LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!


i. Overview


Title: Paparazzi

Character(s): Percy J., Annabeth C., & OMG!rabid fangirls :3!OMG

Summary: Getting caught up in a swarm of Percabeth fangirls when you are Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase is never a good thing.

Other Notes: I'm not quite sure where this idea came from. Other than being entirely un-realistic, it has nothing to do with the plotline.


ii. Paparazzi


"Annabeth?"

"Hmm?"

"I think that we're lost."

"We're not lost, we're just...slightly...off course..."

Annabeth threw the map down, her blonde hair in slight disarray: it was coming out of her ponytail, loose strands flying around everywhere, and as she swung around to face the son of Poseidon, the tail gave him a disapproving smack on the shoulder. "You've been to San Diego before!" she spluttered, obviously groping for an answer to their predicament. "You...you should know the—ARGH!"

"OHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGOD! IT'SPERCABETH!"

Percy cast a slightly-worried glance at his girlfriend, who looked as equally confused as he was.

"...Annabeth? What's Percabeth? And why does it sound familiar?"

Annabeth's hit him lightly on the shoulder. "It's—it's an Aphrodite-girl thing." She gave him a grin. "You wouldn't understand."

"...Excuse me?!" Percy indignantly spluttered. "And technically, by saying that, you're calling yourself a daughter of Aphrodite."

Thunder rumbled in the perfectly clear sky above.

"OHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGODIT'SPERCABETHOHMYGODPERCABETH IS MY LIFE!"

Someone was shaking Percy's arm so hard that he felt his left cheek and his tongue jiggling uncomfortably around the bones of his face. "Um"

"Oh my gosh! My name's Callie!" she grinned, black hair flying in disarray. It was bound with a blue hair tie. "I'M THE NUMBER ONE PERCABETH FAN! OHMYGOSH! I LOVE YOU! You know, whoever you are...BUT I STILL LOVE YOU!"

"Bah." Another girl, who was marching by, stuck her nose up in the air. "It's obviously Lukabeth." She stomped away.

Annabeth choked. "Say what?"

"What're your names?" Callie hyperactively asked, still tugging at Percy's arm. "Wow, you look exactly like how I imagined you guys to be!"

"...I'm...Percy Jackson...and she's Annabeth Chase..."

"I know that, silly!" Callie grinned. "But who are you really?"

"...Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase..."

"But they're fictional characters. My gosh, why are you guys at Comic-Con? THIS IS SO AWESOME. I mean, I'd gone to the Big Bang Theory panel, and I would've gone to the one right after that, except that the line's too long and people have been camping out for it since three in the morning." She jabbed a thumb at a huddled mass of blankets behind a few steel railings, and a white posterboard flapped in the wind, saying something that, to Percy's dyslexic eyes, read: MAPC RAKRO 3012: STEBLSHADEI JLYU 91 3021.

"Er, okay."

"Wait." Callie looked at them with hooded eyes. "If you are Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, does that mean that you're Logan Lerman and Alexandra Daddario?"

"...Um." Annabeth glanced at Percy.

"OH MY GOD YOU GUYS LOOK SO DIFFERENT I SAW THAT DELETED SCENE IN THE MOVIE WHEN YOU KISSED IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER CAN YOU DO IT AGAIN?!"

"..." By this point, Percy was at a complete loss for words. Annabeth didn't seem to be much better.

"Wow, nice cosplaying!" Another girl pranced up to them. "You know, I've supported Percabeth ever since the first book came out in 2005, and you guys are, like, the only people I've ever seen who've got it, like, spot-on."

"What in the world is cosplaying?" Percy asked, getting a little irritated. "And what the Hades is Percabeth?"

"Wow, you must be a really die-hard fan to use 'what the Hades', huh?" Callie brightly asked.

"But you don't know what Percabeth is," the second girl suspiciously said. "How can you not know what Percabeth is?"

Annabeth coughed into her fist. "It's the"cough"Percy-slash-Annabeth"—cough—"shipping."

Percy wheeled on her. "Well, what's shipping?!"

"OH MY GOSH, DO I SEE PERCY AT COMIC-CON?!"

"PERCY, I LOVE YOU!"

"PERCY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?!"

"PEEEEERRRRRCCCCYYYYYYY! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! OHMYGOSH, WILL YOU TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME?"

"PERCY, KISS ME! I'M OVER HERE!"

Besides him, Annabeth was absolutely dying of laughter as she watched her boyfriend turn red as a beet while these...these rabid girls assaulted him with verbal and physical hits.

"I SHIP PERCY AND MYSELF! PERCY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"

"...Oh. My. Gods." Percy clasped his hands over his ears and began to run away from the screaming, rabid hoard of girls (who simply followed him), leaving Annabeth to laugh at him behind his back.


iii. Attention Hogs


Not much to say here, is there? Attention hogs are, generally, authors who publish Chaos stories, "Reading the Books With the Gods", Chaos stories, Goode High School stories, Chaos stories, Percy-turns-into-a-werewolf/vampire-stories, and did I mention fucking Chaos stories yet? Oh, and also people who say, "I won't update until I get X (usually over 5) reviews on this chapter! OKAY! SEE YA!"

This ties in heavily with the reviews section beforehand, and Chaos stories: people write these because they know they're popular and they know they'll get reviews.

...Again, seriously, what is with this fandom and reviews? It's seriously awesome if you just want feedback and constructive criticism for your story (so no, "welp", you-know-I'm-talking-to-you-whoever-I'm-talking-to , you are not guilty of violating the previous chapter...XD), but again...most reviews are things like "awesum sawce update soon". What do you hope to glean from that? Bad spelling and grammar?

Don't publish stories based on how you know you'll get reviews from them. Again, that's why all those stagnant, overused fanfictions are clogging up the archives: readers are hungry, writers deliver. But we need ideas in this fandom. That's the whole point. I think that fanfiction is a great way for, aspiring writer or no, ordinary people to get their creativity flowing out into the world and see what they think. (Of course, that's also Fictionpress, and that's why I really like Fictionpress: there aren't really any stereotypes there. Unless you count morbid poetry, but I'm not going to get into that.) However, you aren't actually contributing the the "creative Zen flow" of ideas in the archive if you're clogging it up with nasty and overused sewage that's already been used ten times over.

Think about it this way: you have a clean and nice garbage bag. It fills up with garbage and you dump it and the trash away.

Then, someone else comes along, decides for whatever stupid reason that they like the garbage bag, use it, and then throw it away.

Then, another weirdo comes along and thinks that the two-times-used garbage bag smells nice and has a lot of flies or something on it, and they uses it and throws it away. And et cetera, et cetera.

And each time, the garbage can gets more and more disgusting, yet people can't get enough of it. Why? It's a mystery.

Same with all of these overused plot bunnies. They simply aren't interesting anymore, and the majority of them are terribly written. And that's what happens when a fic explodes into popularity in these fandoms: people grab at the chance to use it to up their review count, because they want to get noticed. NOOBS.

But for a seasonsed writer to do that? WHY? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!

Attention hogging is always the answer. There's simply no other way to say it.

So think of new ideas to contribute to the fandom. Don't just publish an overused one because you want reviews and whatever crap like that. It's not right, and it's not fair to the person who originally came up with the idea to see their plot get butchered like that, a hundred, a thousand times over. Sure, if you can put an original twist onto the overused, stagnant story—well done, I applaud you! But the majority of writers who do "plagiarize" these ideas can't put their own spark into the story to make it truly come alive.

So now, we can call these attention hogs plagiarists. And we can call all of us plagiarists, because we're stealing Rick Riordan's idea and making it into our own.

Well, you know..."making it into our own".

Most of the time.