This story starts, as most do, with a wish.

Now normally, when wishes are made, they're ignored. They might be a little selfish, or maybe just detrimental to others. Some wishes might not need divine intervention; they might be able to come true with a little hard work. Some wishes might have unforeseen circumstances that the wisher would not want; most magical beings tried to protect wishers from this, though others didn't care. And some wishes, a small fraction of all wishes wished, are pure and selfless enough to be granted.

But there is one person in the universe that gets all her wishes granted. There is one person in the world whose will and whims cannot be ignored. Who is this person, you may ask?

Why, Haruhi Suzumiya, of course.

She alone can make anything happen, anything at all. And at the moment everything started, she was bored. She was utterly, irrevocably, undeniably bored, and when Haruhi Suzumiya was bored she began to wish for things to be different. Usually, when Haruhi wished things like this, odd things happened. Earth-shattering, reality-twisting, universe-collapsing things. But since little seven-year-old Haruhi didn't wish for anything in particular, just, ' I wish the world would be more interesting... ', the higher being governing all existences from its place beyond space and time looked down on Haruhi with bored optical feedback appendages (because who knows if beings outside space and time have eyes?) and dismissively linked her fate with the most interesting thing that would happen in her self-imposed lifetime. Two things promptly occurred. The first thing was…

Haruhi rose lazily at the ringing of the house phone. "I got it!" she yelled to her parents, plucking the handset from the cradle and putting it to her ear. "Wahariha morgue, would you like to plan a birthday party?" she answered in a bored tone, but luckily her father's boss had met her before.

"Hello, Suzumiya-chan. Is your father in?" he asked amusedly, and she made a noise of confirmation as she tracked him down in the living room.

"Call from your boss, dad," she said airily as she handed him the phone, then waited with a sense of half-interest as he listened to his boss. His eyes suddenly widened, his lips in the shape of a 'What?' as his boss continued talking, and when the slight buzzing of his voice ceased he simply sat in amazement.

Then, finally, he managed to get out a small, "I'll have to ask my family...", with a, "Yes, of course. Thank you sir." coming a few seconds later. He hung up and dropped the phone limply, a smile slowly spreading across his face as he processed whatever information his boss had given him.

"Well?" Haruhi finally demanded, and her father shot her an amused look as he gathered his thoughts. He took a slow breath, then explained.

"Mr. Takanata offered me a promotion. I'd be overseeing the construction of a new overseas office and hiring new workers. And after that's finished, I'd be the head of the branch. Only thing is…it's in England."

Haruhi perked up considerably. England meant new opportunities. She had wrung out Japan of anything paranormal, or even merely strange, and the closest thing she got to a time traveler, alien, or ESPer was a guy who could make a king of hearts turn into a queen of diamonds.

Haruhi's mother, who had come in halfway through the phone call, was not as enthusiastic as her daughter. "England? That's over in Europe, so far away! We'd have to get citizenship, and Haruhi would have to change schools!" she fretted worriedly.

Haruhi's dad's eyes softened, and he rose to pull his wife into a hug. She relaxed marginally, a small smile appearing on her face, and once he knew she had calmed down Haruhi's dad pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes. "Honey... this is a big opportunity. I'd be in charge of a whole company branch, practically CEO! I'd have more leeway with vacation time, a much higher pay, and I'd be able to set my own hours, so I'd be home more often."

This got to her, Haruhi could tell. The subject of one of the only arguments Haruhi had ever heard her parents have was that her dad was never home enough. He was neglecting Haruhi and he was neglecting her, her mother had said, before promptly bursting into tears. He had immediately swept her up into his arms and began whispering assurances and reassurances to her, promising he'd do everything he could to make it better. The way she saw it, the was his making good on his promise.

"Well..." her mother started reluctantly, "I have always wanted to try writing a book. Maybe the change of scenery will inspire me."

"That's the spirit!" her father cried, "And you don't have to worry about a house either. The company is paying for everything . They're setting us up in a little house in Surrey, giving us money for furniture and redecoration..."

His voice faded as Haruhi moved back into the hall, her mind already whirling through a dozen different plans and ideas. First she'd go around to all the houses in the neighborhood under the pretense of being new and wanting to meet any other children. Then she'd ask them if they had noticed anything odd about their parents. Nobody ever thought twice about the children. This was perfect!

That was the first thing that happened. The second thing was that far away from Haruhi, on almost the other side of the world, an enchanted quill sprung up from a table in its home in a Scottish castle. It flipped a voluminous book open, found a specific page, and in a space that had not existed a moment before, wrote the name of 'Suzumiya Haruhi'.

The quill respected other cultures.