A/N: I know this story has been written a million times already, but I just needed to get this one off my chest. Hope you'll like it. And it will be a one shot.


"You're getting married."

"- Unless you can give me a reason not to."

She was standing there, breathing heavily while she waited for his reaction. She liked Matthew, she really did - he was perfect; the perfect husband. And still she wanted to run into the exploding bus, only so she could spend one more second with Jackson, only so she would die with him and wouldn't have to life through his death.

Since Callie yelled at her to take a walk April was strolling around the hospital thinking and thinking. How could god put her in this situation; having the perfect man loving you and loving someone else? Loving Jackson? The thought had just appeared in her mind without really thinking about it. But if she were thinking about it - she did indeed love him. Oh this was nowhere near fair.

Coming back to the start:

"You're getting married."

"- Unless you can give me a reason not to."

She was still waiting. There was no reaction visible on his face. How could he not react to this? Now, she realised that she had never thought this through. She didn't think about what he would say or do. She only wanted to get rid of her inner turmoil and the easiest way seemed to let it out.

But now, looking at Jackson's motionless face, the way his eyes were fixed on hers, his arms protectively crossed before his chest.

That was when April panicked.

He didn't feel the same. Sure, she should have thought about it. Jackson was with Stephanie, they were happy. He was not nearly as damaged in love matters as she was. He got over it.

She blinked and felt a tear streaming down her face, letting out the breath, she didn't even realise she had held.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I'm sorry." With these words she turned around and escaped his piercing gaze.

She was about to close the door when she heard her name. April hesitated; sure, she couldn't take it if he was about to blow her off - and opened the door nevertheless.

"Jackson?" His name left her mouth as a quiet question, almost a soft moan, her body and mind needing him.

A thousand thoughts were racing through her head. Would he reject her? What would he say? Would he tell her he needed her too? Hos would she react? And yet, he was still only staring at her, saying no more - until he did.

"You blamed me," his words emotionless and clear. "You blamed me for everything that happened. And all I wanted was you. Since that day at the boards - maybe even before that - all I ever wanted was you. And then I had you, and yet I didn't. For a short time I had you, I was happy; but then you just left, leaving me behind until you wanted it - wanted me - again. I waited all the time until you came for me. Waited for you, sure that you would want me too if I just tried hard enough. But it was never enough. And then came the supposed pregnancy; leaving me confused and unable to cope. I was just a man afraid of responsibility - and then you left, again." His voice now was filled with emotions: anger, hurt, fear, betrayal, love. And before she could react, he continued his monologue.

"Then I met Stephanie, you found Matthew and learned to love him; while everything going wrong was being my fault. But he came back for you, accepted you for who you were and fell even deeper in love with you. So deep, he wanted to spend his entire life with you; and was willing to show the whole world with his proposal. Oh, the proposal; beautifully dorky - perfect for you. Do you remember it? It wasn't even that long ago. You said 'yes' - do you remember - and still your eyes searched for me in the crowd. And I was supportive; supportive to my best friend who was going to get married. And who later on tells me that she had wanted me all that time that I had wanted her. And that she 'just hadn't been ready'."

She could hear the quotation marks around the last part laughing at her, mocking her. And so was Jackson. During his speech, his words gained on hurt and anger, the love got left behind. The hope she had gotten during the first part was quickly destroyed afterwards and tears were rolling down her face. April was about to leave the room for good - defeated - when Jackson once again called out for her. When she turned around, he was slowly getting out of his bed, pain forcing him to move slower than he wished. "And still, my dear April; my sweet, sweet April. How could I say no to you? Answer me, how could I ever say no to this beautiful face, these gorgeous eyes and that wonderful hair; how could I ever say no to you?" When he finished he was standing mere centimetres away from her, their breath mingling, bodies nearly touching. Jackson raised his hand to brush back a streak of her hair behind her ear, resting longer than normally and slowly began caressing her cheek. His thumb fondled her lower lip carefully, as if she could break if he ever touched her too harsh.

April was speechless; how did his monologue develop from criticism to this? How -?

Her thoughts were lost, as she closed her eyes to completely delve into his soft, loving and innocent kiss. Both didn't try to deepen the kiss, it was supposed to be pure, a symbol for their love.

When they broke apart, to gasp for air, he mumbled softly against her lips "You will be getting married, April. But not before you came clear with Matthew." Her eyes widened at the first moment, afraid that he would still reject her after all he said. But when he noticed her scared eyes, he added "Oh, you won't marry Matthew my dear. You will have to live with me forever until we die."