Mako's Message: In March of 2012 I lost my job and was unemployed for the next six months. My savings only got me through four. My son and I were facing eviction and as a last ditch effort I asked my readers if they would be able t donate a few bucks to help keep my son and I in our apartment.

We got almost a thousand dollars.

Unfortunately, I've been unable to come up with way to identify everyone who donated money, as the number of actual donations was quite a bit lower than the number of people who expressed a desire to help. I've also been unable to come up with something appropriate to do as a thank you.

This, sadly, is the best I could come up with.

Requests. I'm taking open requests. For anything. Any pairing. Any event. Whatever you want. I'll write it. With the default exception of anything that would spoil the ending of Precocious Crush.

But you want crack pairings? Done.

You want hardcore action with blood and gore to put the worst exploitation films to shame? Will do.

Slapstick comedy? No problem.

Sweet and fluffy romance? On it.

And I'll be posting them in groups of five in the order I get them. Excluding anything of a graphic sexual nature. If and when I get five requests of that nature I'll post them together, so that people who don't wish to read that sort of thing can avoid it.

Here's a sampling of what to expect. Maybe? I dunno. It's really up to you guys.

Hope you enjoy, and once again, thank you, all of you, for everything.


Dave, Marty, and Todd sat around a table at Atomic comics, chatting about whatever came up, and after an idle comment about her being late, the topic became Mindy.

"How is you're new girlfriend anyway?" Marty asked, smirking.

Dave looked up from the comic he was glancing through and said, "She's fine."

"Just fine?"


"How's she in bed?"

Dave choked on nothing, "Excuse me?!"

"Just curious, I mean, come on, how could we not be?"

Dave glowered at his longtime friend for a moment before going back to his comic, "She bites."

"I knew it!" Marty cried, thrusting his fists into the air in victory. Other patrons shushed him, and he ignored them, turning to Todd and saying, "Pay up bitch!"

Dave was indignant, "You where betting on," he dropped his voice down to lower than normal conversation, "you were betting on what Mindy was like in bed? What he hell is wrong with you, you've known her since she was 11!"

"Hey, don't ask what's wrong with us," Marty teased, "You're the one fucking her."

Dave hid his rising blush behind the comic.

After a moment of silence he finally bit, "So...what was the bet exactly?"

Marty grinned, "I figured she'd be exactly the same in the sack as she in the rest of the time, a total wildcat. Todd here thought she'd turn into a demure little flower or something"

Todd almost blushed as well, "I just...I figured she's so, ya know, the rest of the time that when someone got her in bed she'd be...I dunno, more like a lady."

"Oh, yeah, I can totally see Mindy asking a guy to be gentle with her," Marty said with a roll of his eyes.

Dave, before he could think better of it, decided to throw his friend a bone, "Well, actually, there is-" and then he did think better of it. That was too private, too personal, something just for them. "Never mind"

"Oh, whoa, no can do dude. What where you going to say?"

"I'm not telling you, it's private."

"No, you were about to tell us now finish the sentence you pussy."

"I'm not going to talk about what Mindy does in bed!" He hissed at them.

"Dave's eye change color after he cums," Mindy said from a few steps away, causing the three to jump. She dropped her school bag on the bench and slid in next to Dave, "Now, what do I do in bed that you were about to share with our friends?"

Dave looked like he might have blushed if he hadn't been entering "challenge accepted" mode. "After sex, you like to cuddle-"

"Pfft" Mindy cut him off with a wave of her hand, "That's nothing. I bet every girl does."

"And you purr."

Mindy's jaw dropped in shock and outrage, "I do not!"

Marty was laughing and Todd just looked intrigued, "You purr?"

"She does."

"She purrs?"

"No I don't!"

"Yeah, you do. When you're ready to stop you curl up and bury your face in my chest and you purr."

Mindy blushed, " not...purr. I can't believe you'd say that."

Dave shrugged, "Believe it or not you do."

"I do not purr" Mindy said, snatching a comic and beginning to read furiously.

Then Todd asked, "Do your eyes really change color?"

Dave shrugged and took a drink, "I guess. Katie said that too."

Mindy, meanwhile, was muttering under her breath, and Dave thought he caught the words, "We'll see who purrs."

#2-Do A Crossover!

The door burst open and a young man tumbled out, regained his footing, and took off at a dead run down the alley.

Kick-Ass and Hit Girl immediately reacted, dropping back into a combat stance, then relaxed, slightly, when they realized the man wasn't paying attention to them in the slightest. Hit Girl stepped forward, "Wha-"

"Don't help me!" he shouted as he ran by.

The door slammed against the brick wall of the building and the two heroes turned back to see a man who looked like he could have been any number of heavies, bouncers, or enforcers they dealt with on a regular basis stop dead in the center of the alley, look left, then right. At them, then passed them, and then run towards them.

The man's shirt was covered in blood.

Hit Girl stepped forward, and drew her gun, "Hold it right there ass-ho-"

The man ran through her, like she wasn't even there. She rolled to the side and to her feet, clutching her ribs.

Kick-Ass had immediately gone for his tazer when he'd seen the man wasn't going to stop. And despite the shock of seeing him trample his partner and keep running, he managed to side-step, aim, and fire before he was out of range.

The darts connected and the body went ridged but the man uttered no sound, and then fell to the ground with a heavy clang.

"The fuck?" Kick-Ass said.

Hit Girl came up, grimacing, just as the man who'd passed them earlier came jogging up and looked at the body, "What was that? A tazer? Why didn't see we ever think of that?"

"A a tazer or stun gun should not be able to provide sufficient voltage,"

"Yeah, well, we don't exactly use the floor model" Hit Girl said, glancing up at the girl who'd come up behind them, then did a double take.

The girl's clothes were torn and possibly burned, she was bruised and bloody, and there was a deep gash across the side of her face, showing gleaming metal. Despite all this, Hit Girl recognized the girl instantly.


Cameron turned her head towards her sharply, and Hit Girl could see her other eye was filling with blood. Her head titled every so slightly to the side in an ever so familiar gesture, but this time she could hear the motors whir.

The gash in her neck probably helped.

Cameron looked at her for a moment then said, "Mindy. Of course. I should have made the connection."

"Right," the young man said, looking between them, "Can I borrow a knife?"

Hit Girl, too busy trying to figure out what had just happened to object, reached down to her boot and passed a combat knife over without comment. The man cut a piece of the things scalp off, then popped a metal cap out of it's "skull" and reached in and pulled some sort of massive computer chip out of it's head.

"Thanks," he said and passed her the knife back.

She took it without response

Cameron then bent down, lifted the robot up and onto her shoulder and started to follow the young man down the alley. She stopped a few steps away though, then turned to Hit Girl, "I wont be at practice tomorrow. Make sure the girls don't slack off."

Hit-Girl could only nod dumbly.

#3 Wait...What?

Kick-Ass trudged through the narrow tunnels that made up the maintenance tunnels under the city with Hit Girl stumbling alone beside him, one arm over his shoulders and the other clutching the arm around her waist.

"Oh god. Stop stop stop. I think I'm going to puke." Kick-Ass stopped but didn't move away as she covered her mouth.

"Yeah, you definitely have a concussion. I just hope you don't have a fractured skull too. You hit that wall really hard."

"What the hell happened? Why are we even down here?"

"I told you. We got a tip, we followed it, and everything went to hell."

"But what kind of tip could lead us into a fucking sewer?"

"Well, technically we aren't in the actual sewers. These are just maintenance tunnels so that if a major pipe break-"

"The only reason I haven't smacked you is that I can't."


"So why the hell are we down here and how did I get a concuss-ow! Oohhh yelling is a bad idea."

"Yeah, I could have told you that."

"Why don't you tell me what happened."

"Can't we just be glad we didn't end up in some lovecraftian tentacle rape/snuff/vore film and be done with it?!"

"Jeez, sorry, fine let's jus-wait...what?"

#4-I Want More Mindy/Jessi!

Mindy turned the nob of the hotel door, took a deep, bracing, breath and stepped inside.

Jessi lay at the head of the bed, looking both excited and nervous.

Mindy blew out a breath and put the two water bottles she was carrying down and started taking off her jacket, "All ready?"

"Just waiting on you," Jessi said with a nervous smile and a voice that nearly cracked.

Mindy sat down on the foot of the bed, then after a few seconds slid up halfway to Jessi. "So," she said, "How do we do this?"

"I...uh," Jessi looked from Mindy to the corner of the room then back to her, "was hoping you'd tell me."

Mindy scoffed, "It's not like I've done this before."

Jessi licked her lips and said, "I guess...we could start by kissing."

"Yeah...yeah, we cou- we could start with that," Mindy said, as she edged up the bed, "It's not like we haven't...done that."

And then, with only the slightest bit of hesitation, they leaned towards each other, and kissed.

Later, after clothes clothes had been shed, orgasms had been had, and both were looking decidedly worn out, Jess looked over at Mindy and said, "So, what do we do now?"

Mindy rolled onto her side and looked at Jessi, then to the corner of the room, "I think...this is the part were we wave to the camera and say, 'Happy Birthday'."

Jessi pushed herself up to a sitting position and Mindy propped herself up on one elbow and waved to the video camera sitting on a tripod in the corner of the room and said in unison, "Happy Birthday Dave!"

#5-Jack Bauer Interrogation Techniques

"This isn't going to work."

"Of course it will. It'll be just like in Batman Begins."

"That was a movie! There is no way to know he'll come this way let alone step in the noose."

"Shhh! Here he comes."

"There is no way this is actually going to wo-"

vvzzz-snick! "Whu-WHA!" THUD! Vvzvzvzvzvzzzzzvzzzvzzzzzzzzvzzzzzzzzzz! "AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Kick-Ass stared in shock, "I can't believe that actually worked."

"Fuck yeah! I told you!" Hit Girl turned to hi-five Kick-Ass but he was still in shock so she settled for punching him on the shoulder. Then she turned to and grabbed her new toy, "Alright, time for you to answer some questions."

Kick-Ass leaned over and said, "Just a piece of advice, I'd just answer her questions if I were you. She's been really pissy today and looking for someone to take it out on."

The man looked from Hit Girl to Kick-Ass then back again.

Hit Girl grinned savagely.

"Oh, and make sure your answers are thorough. Don't give her a reason to think you're holding out on her."

The man looked like he would have gone pale if all the blood wasn't rushing to his head.

"Actually, ya know what, I don't think I can watch this. I'm remembering the last time and," he covered his mouth, "I'm feeling queasy already. So, I'm just gonna go over to the other side of the roof where I won't be able to see this. Or smell it."

Hit Girl turned her head and the man watched over her shoulder as Kick-Ass walked away and, upon reaching the far side, covered his ears and started humming loudly.

Hit Girl slowly turned back to her prey, "And now, it's just you. And. me."

"I'll talk! I'll talk!"

Later, after the man had given her so much information she'd actually had to start writing it down, she sat with Kick-Ass in a diner, going over her notes with him. "Ya know, sometimes I wonder when you became a better interrogator than me," she said.

Kick-Ass finished sipping his coffee and smiled at her, "It's a team effort."