A Testimonial From Vinnie

Yeah! Yeah! What a rush! I'm bad! I'm mighty! I'm a mammajamer from Mars, and the baddest in the universe, along with Throttle and Modo. I'm Vinnie! Vinnie the Awesome! No one is faster than me! I'm gonna jump over you and leave you in the dust!

Hey, don't get me wrong. I love the adrenaline rush and the glory that goes with it. I'm the best and baddest biker of the three. I don't mean to brag about it, but it's just all true. No disrespect to Throttle and Modo; I couldn't do anything I do without them. If it weren't for them, I'd be as lost as a die-hard Texan cowboy stranded in the Gobi Desert. And I tell you, if you are ever on Mars and you get lost, it'll take more than a miracle for someone to find you. This is because we don't populate Mars no more. Nope! We were stuck fleeing to Earth.

Why were we stuck? I'll tell you. Those rancid stink fish known as Plutarkians and those claw-napping Catatonians drove us away! Well, actually, it was just the Plutarkians. The Catatonians only wanted our Regenerator, which was invented by my bro, General Stoker. I don't care what you say about him; he never was a traitor! He was just kidnapped, or should I say, mousenapped. I am proud to have staunchly defended him from opposition. Even my bros Throttle and Modo thought he had turned against us. Maybe it was that rat-like creature he mutated into from too much sunlight, but that's what he gets for overexposure to tetrahydrocarbons, the power source of the Regenerator. Still, Stoker, bro, I'm proud of you, and I am never going to let you out of my sight again!

Don't talk to me about my relationship with Charley girl. She has every right to do what she does. She's the baddest mechanic on the planet, and she keeps our bikes in tip-top shape. She owns the Last Chance Garage, where we go to interact with her or otherwise are just hanging out. Enough said!

Our actual bachelor pad is the scoreboard at Quigley Field. You know those people haven't won anything since 1908? Could it be all because those dingbats didn't let that goat in? I say that's why they're so bad. It seems like a curse that could never be broken.

The only I think I love as much as the adrenaline rush is rocking out on my electric guitar. Throttle and I came up with the idea of a rock band named the Martian Freedom Fighters. Mostly we just wanted to add a third to the heavy rivalry between Sonic the Hedgehog's band, Sonic JAM, and the SWAT Kats Band. Those bands absolutely ROCK! I mean, have you ever seen someone as speedy as Sonic or agile as Razor? Oh, man! My bros and I may be the baddest mammajamers, but they are the baddest rock stars on this side of the rad States! Anyway, Throttle and I play the electric guitars, with Modo on bass guitar, and his nephew Rimfire helping us out occasionally with his own electric guitar or sometimes tambourine or something like that. Charley girl plays the keyboard, Carbine has an acoustic guitar, and Stoker's our drummer.

So far, we have a few #1 hits that gave the SWAT Kats Band a run for their money, but Sonic JAM always manages to respond back with theirs. Our #1s include "4th Planet from the Sun," "Rush Hour," "It's Tail-Whipping Time," and "You the Mouse!" Some of theirs include, by Sonic JAM, "For the Love of the Mud," "Cracking the Egg," and "I Always Go for a Jewel," and by the SWAT Kats Band, "Kickin' Some Tail," "Two or Five," and "Chase It!"

And remember, wherever you go, whatever you do, RIDE FREE, CITIZENS!

THE END

Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and everyone else who owns the rights.

Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA

SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron © Hanna-Barbera, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros.