A Testimonial From Stoker

I'll tell you right now, folks; it's not easy being me. I've suffered from mutating into a rat-like creature and having to adapt an alter-ego when many thought I was a traitor. But I wasn't. It must be known to all mousekind (and to all mankind and catkind for that matter) that I prefer to be a superhero, not a traitor. I am General Stoker Van Rotten, inventor of the Regenerator and founder of the Freedom Fighter movement on Mars. While we are bitterly upset about having to flee Mars for eternity and take refuge on Earth, I consider it a victory in defeat, for we did manage to hold off the Catatonians and stop them from using the Regenerator to claim the planet for themselves.

My intentions were to terraform Mars and create a safe haven for all mice. But it was not to be. It's pretty stressful constructing that thing, since I have to have lots of tetrahydrocarbons. Those are the power source of the Regenerator. Too much exposure to those is the reason too much exposure to sunlight will temporarily turn me into that rat-like creature and cause me to lose control of what I'm doing. It's like the stereotype associated with Frankenstein's monster. Everything that I do seems to be totally random, and I can only speak in gibberish.

My alter-ego is Nightshift, a black-clad, masked biker. Originally I used this disguise as protection of my identity; today, I use it to protect myself from sunlight that could possibly turn me into a rat. I don't like being called a rat! Yet it's the truth, and it hurts.

Nightshift is the reason I referred to myself as a superhero in the opening paragraph, even though I don't wear a cape or mask. I cannot fly and I don't have X-ray vision, but I do have a bionic tail, which I was given while that sadistic sycophant, Dr. Karbunkle, had me captive. He's also the reason for Throttle's green sunglasses, Modo's eye patch, glowing eye, and bionic arm, and Vinnie's mask. His intentions of those experiments were for his own evil purposes and for the four of us to serve his boss, Lawrence Limburger, one of the top-ranking Plutarkians (the race of stink fish that forced us to flee Mars forever). Truth be told, we still would have had to fight the Catatonians, though there still exists the possibility that they could have temporarily teamed up with us to remove Plutark only to later take over Mars.

I would like to thank you, Vinnie, for staunchly standing by my side during that battle. While many mice thought I was a traitor, you did not. You fought for my safety and came out victorious. You also proved that I was only being held captive by that perilous poaching property proprietor with an oversized butt, Ronaldo Rump. While I was his slave, I built him a Regenerator, and watched him use it for some of his get-rich-quick schemes. That Regenerator alone has made him billions, and I got nothing out of it, but I wanted it that way; I've got plenty of money to deal with in my own finances. By the time the Biker Mice came to my rescue, it was running low on power, and Rump had consulted with the Catatonian military leaders, Commander Hairball and Lt. Commander Cataclysm, to sign a peace treaty between the two. They also agreed that if everything would work out, I would build each of them a brand new Regenerator: one for Rump to continue to make billions of dollars, and one for Hairball and his Clawtroopers to inhabit Mars and parade around the planet like Adolf Hitler and his Nazis did when they entered Paris. At that point, I would have refused under pressure and would have been willing to die for my planet as a great hero. I didn't have to go to that extreme, because the Biker Mice found me and soon my niece, General Carbine, who herself is an outstanding military figure as well, consulted with me. I agreed that I would build a Regenerator for the purpose of attempting to terraform Mars. Eventually the Catatonians won the race between them and Rump to get the Regenerator first, and Cataclysm tried to use it to claim Mars. While I felt all my work on that device was in vain, it was not; again, I say this is a victory in defeat. We moved to Earth for good after defeating the Catatonians in that battle, and actually, the resulting explosion led to Cataclysm's death. Hairball was arrested, tried, and thrown in prison for life. But if he ever escapes, I'll be all over him like cream cheese on a muffin.

What am I doing these days now that the war for Mars has come to an end? I'm playing the drums, that's what. It's for our rock band. We call ourselves (appropriately) the "Martian Freedom Fighters," a name Throttle and Vinnie came up with. While I never have any lead vocals, the fact I can sing while playing the drums is amazing in itself. It's not as easy as it looks, folks. I'm telling you that right now. While I rock out on trap set, Throttle and Vinnie (and on some other occasions Modo's nephew Rimfire) play the electric guitar and sing lead. Modo plays bass guitar, Carbine has an acoustic guitar, and Charley Davidson, top mechanic in Chicago and friend to the Biker Mice, accompanies herself on keyboard. Most of the time, she'll use a piano sound, but she may incorporate a celesta or jazz organ sound from time to time.

Hopefully that gave you a better impression of who I am and what I've done with my life. And maybe I'll see you at our next show! Until then, RIDE FREE, CITIZENS!

THE END

Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies