A Testimonial from Rimfire

This is Rimfire. You know, Modo's nephew. You might say I'm one of the unsung heroes of Mars, because I didn't crash into the scoreboard until several months after my uncle did. Still, I'm just as proud of him as he is of me.

I'm more of your secret agent type because General Carbine was always asking me to do that kind of stuff. Sneaking into the enemy fortress and gathering information for your superiors is not as easy as it looks, folks. I'm telling you that right now. Sometimes I can be a daredevil; I've been known to do suave moves from time to time; whether it's backflips, karate chops, or whatever, I can do it. It was only my age that was holding me back; some Earth people showed their sympathy towards me when I got there after hearing about how some were overprotective of me back on Mars. I don't mind taking the risks because it's part of my job. (If you Americans don't appreciate your own military, then you've got a problem!) I'm rough! I'm tough! I'm here to kick your tail if you don't get with the program!

For the most part, I try to be efficient, and I always obey my officers. I had reached the ranking of lieutenant by the time I crashed into the scoreboard at Quigley Field. General Carbine later came to Earth safely, as did General Stoker, her uncle. Both were in search of tetrahydrocarbons, the power source to Stoker's Regenerator. The ones that were causing him to turn into that rat beast were red, but today, he's using green and yellow ones; those for some reason permanently overrided that rat thing and it gave him superpowers. Now he's Super Stoker!

Playing the drums comes naturally to me, but I had to learn the guitar. I say this because Throttle and Vinnie came up with the idea of a rock band named the "Martian Freedom Fighters" in response to Sonic JAM (Sonic the Hedgehog's band) and the SWAT Kats Band, both of which are absolutely awesome. Let me give you the run down. Throttle, Vinnie, and General Mace (a colonel in the Martian Army) are playing electric guitar full-time. Uncle Modo has the bass guitar. General Carbine does acoustic guitar full-time, and Miss Charley Davidson handles the electric keyboard. General Stoker has the trap set. Harley, another girl from Mars (whom is rumored to have a crush of Vinnie, but that is not true) is just an extra vocal. Part of my job is to fill in whatever the song needs, whether it is auxiliary percussion or another guitar (in case I have the lead, I'll play the guitar). One exception to the rule is a song we do I wrote entitled "Beat It!", which requires a marching snare drum part from me; the drum is like the one you'd except to see at a college football game. The song tells the story about a kid learning to deal with bullies, and in the chorus, he tells them to "beat it," meaning, "go away," but there is sort of a joke in that because I'm adding to the effect with my drum during that part. The song also calls for a drum solo from me, although General Stoker is still keeping tempo. We don't do that on stage very often, but I may still drag out the drum if I'm in the mood for it.

I hope that gave you a better impression of who I am. See you at our next show!

THE END

Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and everyone else who owns the rights.

Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA

SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron © Hanna-Barbera, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros.