HALLO GUYS. i made it for ROKUSHI DAY!...at least in california time. 11:58 now...gotta hurry its almost midnight!
Don't own kh. durdadur
Let Me Tell You A Secret.
The raven haired girl looked dazed as she stared at her ice cream as it slowly melted, sending cyan blue drops of sugar and salt down to the ground down below.
"You know, don't you think it's weird that everyone keeps telling us that we don't have hearts?" She started to murmur and took a small bite out of her ice. Her gaze fell upon the distant beautiful sunset.
"What do you mean by that?" Roxas turned to her, cobalt eyes sparkling with questioning.
"Sometimes, I feel like…I can feel," The girl let out a sober laugh at that statement. "And I think that whenever we spend time together on the clock tower, we start feeling." Xion threw away her stick of ice cream. "But how should I know? I don't remember being human…It's weird, you know?" She finally turned to look into his eyes.
The blonde stared at her for a short while then slowly replied, "I'm not that sure. But as long as we have a good time I guess you could say that. I mean, Xigbar said we were 'special nobodies' after all."
Roxas saw Xion's once sparkling eyes dim and turn away to his dismay. She shook her head and said, "No, I don't think it's that Roxas. It's something else other than that. I just know things. You and I are special no doubt, but that has nothing to do with that."
The Key to Destiny cocked his head to the side in questioning and took a final bite of his own ice cream then threw it away. He grinned and spoke, "I guess you put a new idea in my head then, Xi."
The girl smiled wryly. "You think so?"
Roxas nodded. "Yeah. But it's kind of confusing. But we'll eventually find out right?" Then he tapped his chin with his right index finger teasingly. "Then who would we know who to get information from anyways?"
Xion opened her mouth to speak but the boy answered his own question anyways. "Axel!"
No. XIV shrugged and went back to watching the sunset. But in the back of her mind, she felt guilty and sinister. Inception wasn't really that difficult with Roxas; all you had to do was put it in plain sight and give him a push. Roxas was in fact naïve in a sense, but he could be quite wary. Guys have their own buttons to press too…But it made her feel crass inside for some reason. Maybe it was their friendship.
"So do you want to ask him? Xion?"
"Oh…I was guessing we could find out together." But she already knew what the redhead's answer would be. He just didn't know yet. He didn't know the truth…about Nobodies.
The blonde nodded and he looked at the sunset with her. "I guess questions like these are interesting to find out about."
"But would you have gone for it if I had mentioned it?" She asked.
The boy looked down, "Well, I have to admit that I've been thinking about the question for a while." He let out a weak chuckle. "Actually, it doesn't really matter to me. Knowing won't really change how I act. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not a knowledge seeker."
Xion's face broke into a smile at the use of the term. "But you're one right?" Roxas asked her.
The girl played around with her fingers and murmured with a stoic expression, "Perhaps."
A short silence followed her statement. Echoing gales whistled their hollow cries as the pair gazed at the magnificent scarlet rays of the setting sun. Roxas stared at his now ice-less ice cream stick and threw it away, watching it fall silently down to the ground below. He wondered why she didn't say much about her running away from the organization. After all, she had left to look for something…someone? That was the reason he called her a seeker of knowledge anyways only a few moments ago. She had only run away from the organization a few days ago.
Roxas murmured quietly as if testing Xion if she could hear him. "What did you find…? When you ran away."
Unfortunately, his friend heard. The blonde saw her flinch with a small grimace in the corner of his eye. Roxas held his stance in the conversation until he heard her say to him, "Nothing that you would want to know. It's all…about me. You don't have anything to do with it."
Roxas' breath hitched. He probably pressed the wrong buttons again.
He saw her move again and noticed that they made distant eye contact with each other with the corner of their eyes. Xion's lips thinned in an enigmatic smile.
"I'm sorry Roxas-It's just that that topic is sort of sensitive," The raven haired girl held a fist to her chest.
"I'm sorry too…" The boy sighed but added something to that. "But aren't you satisfied by what you already have? You have me…and Axel. Isn't that all that's important?"
The girl beside him sighed and looked on with empty eyes. She was considering the option of just getting up and leaving. "I care about you guys. A lot. But then you two wouldn't understand how it is to be me."
"That's exactly why I want to know. I want to understand you."
His voice took on a stiff expression and the girl looked at him with surprise.
A question came to be in the raven haired girl's mind. A question she had wanted him to answer for a while.
"How did you feel, when I first ran away?" Her soft voice whispered as she stared at the ground down below.
Roxas looked at her and blinked. She hadn't really paid any attention to how he had felt about her in a while. And he was glad to express it.
"Well, I was frustrated at first. Not at you, but at Saix I guess."
The blonde stared at the scarlet sky above him and smiled slightly at how naïve he was. "Well, I thought that he might had done something to hurt you and make you leave. But that's not why you left. "
Xion stared at his expression as if collating him for answers. "Then you know why I left."
She was certain he got her spot on, telling form the words he had said earlier in the conversation. He wasn't dumb—she knew it. But she was quite surprised that he had deciphered what had happened to help disclose the true means behind her escape.
"But to go on, after you left I got really worried. More than how I usually do; and I waited for you to come back for a while. I was annoyed how I couldn't do anything to help," His fists clenched while they grabbed the ledge of the tower. "Xemnas ordered the rest of us not to search for you anyways."
She was surprised at how emotional he was getting at this point. Of course, she already knew why he was…but Xion knew that Roxas knew that he didn't have a heart.
So I guess he really does care for me…
Her heart told her that she had to tell the truth…about herself to him. She couldn't bear holding the floodgates any more. It was a burden in itself just not saying it. Although she was aware of this, she told herself that she didn't have to tell the full truth, only the part that mattered.
The tone of her voice was cruel, making Roxas feel as if his own blood had congealed right there.
"You know, the other day…when we had that mission in Agrabah? Do you know why you were so tired—why you didn't have any energy that day?" Xion spat out fearfully in a glacial tone.
The flaxen haired boy frowned slightly. "How…"
"I'm not blind Roxas," The girl clasped her hands together uncomfortably. "Do you want to know why you were so down?"
Now here was a question that Roxas was really wondering about.
"Xion, what do you know about it?" He said with a bemused expression.
No. XIV bit her lip. "You might not believe me. I know how you are anyways," She laughed darkly. "But it was my fault Rox. My fault that you were so pale that day."
Roxas' mind was too addled to come up with anything to say. She looked so stressed, so put down. He felt a strong urge from only the sight of her to just move forward and bring her into his arms. They shared the pain, despite the fact that Roxas had no idea why Xion felt so pressured.
"Roxas, I-I'm not real. I'm just someone who doesn't need to be in your life. Everything wrong that has happened so far…is all my fault!" She fiercely shifted her gaze to make eye contact with him. He saw a dark abyss within her eyes. An empty, never ceasing loneliness.
"What I found, when I ran away, was data. My true identity. I'm not a nobody like you or Axel…I'm a monster. Just some filthy leech whose only fate is to suck up life. I'm…a replica. Someone created just to exist in the image of another."
Xion's cheeks were flecked with tears then and she shook her head. She was done with this. She couldn't bear to say any more. "You hate me now, don't you?" Xion turned to her friend and shed a few tears, leaving Roxas shocked and confused.
As she got up to leave, Roxas still remained silent. He saw her slowly walk away from him, leaving behind the scent of the salty sea where she sat. His eyes narrowed when she opened a dark corridor…and she was stepping through. Even though she had told him the truth…why his strength was draining…he felt at the moment that her leaving him was draining the life out of him even more. The Key to Destiny couldn't take it anymore.
The boy jumped up and grabbed her hand just as it was about to disappear into the darkness.
His action immediately reversed the effect of the corridor, causing it to disperse to Xion's shock and frustration. Her cerulean eyes turned to meet his aquamarine ones, and he immediately drew his arms around her in a tight embrace. The boy couldn't let her go anymore…she was too important to leave, for he would have fallen apart if he had let her go through that hallway of darkness. Roxas didn't care if she was to be his death. He would be glad enough to switch roles with her, as long as it took away all the suffering between them.
He laid his head on her shoulder, smelling the salty scent of her hair, and felt a tear leak out. Why the boy was crying, he didn't know.
"Stop. Stop trying to run away from me. It's too painful to see you go…every time," Roxas murmured into her ear. Xion didn't respond as she lay motionless in his arms, her face pressing against his chest and her tears dampening the material of his coat.
The girl remained in his arms, still motionless even as he drew her tighter. Then she looked up into his eyes in question.
"How can you forgive me…? I'm going to have to disappear anyways sooner or later." She mumbled with flushed cheeks and still teary eyes.
"I didn't forgive you," He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on hers. "…You didn't do anything wrong, Xion."
Roxas knew that either one of them was doomed to disappear and cease to exist. He hoped it was himself, but the greatest fear he had now was that this was not to be. She was…something he couldn't let go yet. But the circumstances set for that time were forcing.
"What's the use of keeping me close like this?" She murmured bitterly. "It has to be me."
The boy let go of the raven haired girl and said, "There has to be another way. It can't be you."
She took his hands in hers and looked away. "We'll both have to go eventually…"
The blonde's cheeks flushed in slight relief. "Then—that's even better."
"At least you won't be alone," Roxas went forward and pressed his lips against hers.
It was random if you could say it…well it fit the occasion, but nonetheless Xion was taken aback with surprise. The contact was a temporary relief. Then Xion felt…felt as if it was just the two of them, alone. They could be together as long as they wished, with no one or thing to get in their way.
He felt her respond unlike she did to his earlier embrace as she put pressure on his lips, all the while placing her arms around his neck deepening the contact. The boy pressed the tip of her tongue between her lips but didn't force his way through…just sweetening the kiss and waiting for more response. He felt her nibble his lower lip to be daring…
When they separated, they sat down again at the ledge just staring at the sunset once more with their fingers clasped together. Roxas admitted sheepishly that he liked her since the beginning; but XIon said that she felt that that statement was probably obvious to predict after what he had just done.
The two youths thought of what they were going to face in the future. Sadly…the story's ending wouldn't be a happy one. The girl would be fated to be forgotten for a long time—and the boy would be hidden in the heart of another for years, but they were fated to come together again. After all, they had an eternal connection.