My Blue Pixie
AN: Ok, about what you are about to read. Anyone out there who thinks this is plagiarism, don't get fired up. It is not! This is a rewrite of a story I did called Manifesting Loneliness. It was A/J. No one would read the damn thing so I rewrote it as E/B. It's OOC and some characters have switched powers. Give it a chance, I tweaked it a bit. The good thing is that with this coming from an existing fic you should get timely updates.
I have not stopped writing The Dark Dance. I'm piecing it together. I don't write start to finish, I'm all over the place. When a scene hits I just start writing on anything that gets in my way. You should try piecing a chapter together from sheets of notebook paper, napkins, a restaurant menu that I stole, church bulletins, and what I have down in my lap top. It's a riot. My new pre reader idreamshoes is doing wonders for me. (Thank you Hoodfabulous for sending her my way!)
As always, thanks go to SBrande for the original Beta work. I probably messed up all her hard work with the tweaks, sorry toots. Also, I'm sorry for all the drunk emails from the other side of the world. I know you can't come over for a drinky poo any time you feel like it.
ATTN! Check out the Makemelaughcontest on FFN. Voting begins July 5 - July 12. That's all I can say about it – just check it out and vote. LOL go figure.
"All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust."
― James M. Barrie, Peter Pan
A Guy with a Spark
The first time I ever saw my pixie she was a tiny little spark that followed me everywhere I went. I didn't realize that no one could see the spark; it was only me that could see it. It floated around my shoulder like a firefly, just close enough to touch but never really doing so. It was as small as a peanut and it glowed with an ice blue sparkle. If you stared at it you would almost be blinded like staring at a pinprick of the sun. Altogether my little blue spark was a beautiful sight to behold.
I had been with the Cullen family for around thirty years by then. Our patriarch and father figure, Carlisle is a doctor and as I was concerned I approached him about it. He gave me a thorough check- up, or as thorough a check-up that you can give a vampire. He was worried that my actions could be attributed to vampire madness and to be honest I felt the same.
Some vampires just can't handle the endless eternity or the life style we live and there are times when decades have passed and they just go mad. Sometimes it emerges when a vampire awakens to this life and cannot cope. Some go crazy with even the thought of living forever and never really living, if you know what I mean! Hell, it could be missing the taste of ice cream, I don't know. Craziness is all part of being a vampire sometimes and it's hard to deal with unless you have a supportive coven as I do.
Some vampires go mad before they even make it through the change; those are the really sad ones. It's almost as though their bodies take an allergic or adverse reaction to the pain of the change and the new "life" growing within them and it emerges as insanity. Some vampires last a few decades but before long they join the long line of insane vultures put on this earth to taunt us all. A prime example would be Aro our illustrious leader. He has a sort of God complex, although the word "God" is not used amongst us vampires, but that is the only word I can think of to explain how they see themselves. That's when they tend to go off the deep end and have to be extinguished before they out us all. If he was human I would say he was two steps from sitting on his throne giggling and pissing himself.
After my check up with Carlisle he found no evidence of any of the common markers for this lunacy, of which I was grateful at least. It did not however explain what was happening to me. Carlisle carried out extensive tests, looking into my eyes, although I could not fathom what he could see in their depths apart from loneliness and sadness and possibly sheer empty nothingness. I was a vampire after all and we were not known to display emotion, especially in the depths of our eyes.
He asked me a lot of questions about when do I see the spark, when is it more prevalent, when does it disappear, how long does it stay for, how long does it leave me for, what does it do, does it speak to me, does it know what I am saying or doing? The list goes on. Carlisle is a genius of a doctor, he should be as he has been around for centuries and his knowledge is vast and not even he could find one single reason why a spark of any description should be following me, or as he said "haunting" me. So Carlisle, in his usual cool, calm, collective self-decided that we would do the only thing left, just sit back and wait to see what would happen next. He would take notes of course and monitor the situation! "Great Doc, I'm your latest experiment, just put me in the next medical journal, I don't mind!"
Esme, Carlisle's wife, and our "mother figure" did her very best to humor me and keep me upbeat throughout it all, but other than decorating my room in white because I saw the spark more vivid in the dark there wasn't much for her to do. She and Rosalie had a blast gutting my dark cave of a room and now I have a very ultra-modern, state of the art, white on white room with lots of silver accents. Very clean and clinical, just like a mental hospital! Great, my "family" all thought I was going mad now! I wonder how long it will be before they get me a vamp proof straight jacket.
Emmett, my brother who is notorious as the family comedian now had something that he would joke about forever! He could not resist making fun of any of us, and for some reason he especially loved making fun of his "brothers". He took great delight is making me the butt of his jokes. He called me Sparky for a while until the love of his life, Rosalie, put a stop to his fun. She must have felt sorry for me! Nevertheless, Emmett always got his digs in when she was not around; it was all in fun however!
Jasper, my other "brother" had recently remarried his one true love, Alice. This made their fourth time to the alter, Alice adored dressing up. They were on their honeymoon and it was around two months after they returned home that I actually was convinced that the "spark" was real and not any delusion.
One night after hunting I was lounging on a rock by the river staring up at the moon when Jasper told me he could hear something flutter around me but he couldn't see it. He said it was like static with a fast thrumming heart beat but he knew he couldn't really "hear" it because it sounded as though the noise was coming through me. I was thankful when I heard that for it meant that I was not losing my mind, that I was not going nuts. There was something there and I hadn't wanted to tell anyone in case they thought I was mad. The "spark" was growing and I can assure you that it was getting bigger by the day. Part of me thought that it was only getting bigger because I was admitting to myself that it was there, now how odd is that?
'It must be about this long now," I said positioning my hands about six inches apart. "It looks like an odd shaped peanut with arms, legs and some black space alien eyes", I explained to Carlisle. "And, it's pale blue and glowing."
Carlisle smiled at my description and continued to listen to me describe the latest changes in my floating spark. He was sitting behind his desk in his study while I relaxed in one of the oversized leather chairs. I leaned forward, excited and interested in learning his theory of what the new changes would mean.
"Well, Edward, basically what you are describing is a human fetus, excluding the color, floating, and glowing of course," he said grinning now. "It would really help if I could see it and examine it, that way I could tell you how far advanced it is" he said as he rose from his chair and walked to one of the floor to ceiling book cases that encircled the room. He looked over at his medical journals on the floor to ceiling shelves.
"It's a girl," I murmured looking at my feet.
"No dangly bits, so it's a girl." He laughed at me and just shook his head.
"Let me see if this can help," he said as he pulled a heavy thick book from the shelf. He passed back to the desk and flipped through the book until he came to a page that caught his interest. He turned the open book towards me and indicated what he was looking at.
"Look at these and tell me if it resembles one of the pictures. That way we can get an approximate age for your fetus."
"Woo Hoooo Edwards knocked up," came the loud yell from down stairs.
I gritted my teeth then and thought "damn it, Emmett will never let me hear the end of this now" I looked at Carlisle with what I hoped was pleading in my eyes.
He replied "Don't worry about Emmett son, you know how much of a practical joker he is, perhaps we should call the fetus by another name?"
"Yes Carlisle, can we just call it the spark for now?" I asked.
"Woo Hoooo, Sparkie's knocked up," Emmett yelled from below.
Time was passing, the spark turned into a full term baby girl who at first followed me around like a balloon. Nine months to the day I first noticed the spark she was 'born.' She disappeared for a short time and next time I glimpsed her she was in what you would call an onesie. After that she would she would show up in cute little rompers and would glow beside me everywhere I went. She disappeared at different times always to show back up with a new outfit, the clothes changed daily.
As it got to the crawling stage the baby stopped bobbing beside me and went to crawling around me on the floor, which was even more distracting at first because I kept thinking I was going to step on her. She followed all stages of human growth; the only thing that never changed was the blue glow.
I began feeling like a parent watching what I now called my little Pixie grow up. I was certainly entertained by the changes. I wasn't alone anymore I was more like a single dad without all the work. I wish I could have held her but that was not possible. She went from the glowing and bobbing baby balloon to the always under foot crawler and then to the giggling and cooing adorable little toddler.
At the age of two or three she would dance around me in a little tutu with her little heart shaped chubby baby butt! Oh the laughter in her eyes could thaw out a frozen heart. I loved my little pixie and like a proud parent wished I could show her off.
As she grew she would watch me but never try to talk to me. Maybe I was the ghost in her life somewhere. Life never changed really, it continued on the same as it always did; only now it was full of joyful laughter from my little blue ghostly companion.
She started talking to me around the age of five, and if a vampire could piss himself then this would have been the time to do it! Her voice was so cute and childish, almost angelic! One afternoon she simply said "Hi" and when I did not answer her she then had the audacity to stomp her little foot and tell me in her childish voice that I was too quiet and would I please speak to her as she was lonely! I honestly couldn't believe it!
Now there isn't much conversation an age old vampire could have with a five year old so I was struggling from the start on that score. She called me her "Mister Edwad". She was certainly polite for a small child. Where she got that title I will never know! Most of the time I listened to a running commentary of what was going on in her life such as the latest doll tea party she was having and what her mom and her puppy were up to at that moment. I often wondered though, did she really have a mom, was this still some elaborate figment of my imagination. If it was my imagination, it was certainly detailed.
Pixie was a source of endless fun for Emmett. He had the most fun with my one sided pretend Barbie Tea Parties, at least to him they were one sided but to me and Pixie it was different. He could make fun if he wanted to, I just ignored him. He actually went to the great lengths of filming a couple, for his own personal amusement he said! They are amusing to watch really. You see me sitting on the floor pretending to hold a cup or eat a cookie talking to an imaginary child. If I were human I would probably be institutionalized just from one of those tapes.
Pixie was just as bad, she could 'see' everything around me as if she was here. Many times I would have to fight the laughter as she would stick her little tongue out at Emmett and blow raspberries at him or make funny faces. She would walk behind Jasper and poke at him to make me laugh. She liked to snoop and follow the girls around. It was like hero worship a small child has on a big sister. She would watch them paint each other's nails with such envy.
Carlisle on the other hand was full of concern. He began analyzing everything and kept copious notes on the situation with me and the pixie. We both knew that this was not just a simple ghost or apparition; we knew it was more than that but what we were unable to determine. She spoke of too many real time things. Barbie's, Cheerio's, Disney, and to my ever loving disgust Dora the Explorer. I knew that there was a real girl somewhere but didn't have a clue where, and what was she doing haunting me?
There were some things as she grew that I was worried about though. Carlisle and I discussed what things should and should not happen in front of a small child so we had to get our thinking caps on and make every effort to protect her from certain situations. We did not want to frighten her or scar her mentally for life. We agreed that certain things would have to change. The hunting had to be kept from her. Although we were all technically "vegetarian" and did not kill the human species, we decided that my Pixie should not see the killing of animals and our feeding on them, as this would be too traumatic for her to witness. It helped that through time she began only to appear at night, so I began to modify my own behavior and would only hunt during daytime hours.
Our other main concern was our adult behavior. We had to watch what we did and said. Emmett was the hardest to control. He cursed like a sailor and he and Rosalie were like two caged rabbits going at each other at all times.
That changed one night after Pixie charged down the stairs calling for me to help Rosy. I needed to save her from Emmett, that he wasn't playing nice and was doing bad touching. Mom took over the situation and told me what to tell her to calm her down. Then she had a long talk with Rose and Emmett. I would give the signal that Pixie was in the room and then they would either tone it down or take the fun somewhere else.
Life as I knew it went on.
When Pixie turned ten I discovered the she had a gift of her own. Her visits to me had changed dramatically by then; she wasn't with me at all times. She would show up around seven or later that night and would go away around four to seven in the morning. Occasionally she would pop in during the daylight hours, but the older she got the rarer it happened.
Her gift seemed to be a "second sight"; she could "see" things and tell me what was going to happen. It was as though she was a form of guardian angel to me, watching and protecting me all of the time. She had experienced these "sightings" or "visions" in her real life but had learned quickly not to say anything to anyone after her mother slapped her harshly over a "witchy" prediction. I guess it was a hard thing for a mother to accept but even harder for the child who is being hurt because of it. Pixie shed many tears over this to me. I comforted the best I could.
With me though it was ok, I encouraged her visions. She kept me informed with what was going to happen to me in the near future. I tried bets on horses once or twice, just to see if she could predict the outcome. She was on the nail each time. Encouraging her seemed to make her happy and it even came in handy. She would say "Sorry, Edward, no Bear tonight but you do bag three deer" and I would. She would tell me where Emmett had hid something or how to get around his latest prank. This didn't make him happy in the least.
Emmett was convinced that she was from another world or she could be from another dimension. Hey the girl was blue and glowing, it just wasn't normal. One time when he was bugging us she told me to tell him that he needed to wrap his head in tin foil and prepare for the coming invasion. Dumb ass did it for about three days till Rosalie put a stop to the tin foil hats.
It was eerie to see her turn her head toward the phone awaiting its ring. I didn't think she could see stuff here on my side but like clockwork when she turned toward where ever I had last put the phone it would ring on cue. I was getting an idea that things were changing for her. Maybe the older she got the more she saw of things in my world and maybe her powers were getting stronger.
I soon got my answers as to how her powers were changing, all it took was a visit from the Denali sisters and my suspicions were confirmed. It was twilight and I was returning from a hunt. I could feel tension in the house. It was faint as of yet but the closer to the house I got the more tense the air seemed to get. As soon as I jumped the river I could hear what the problem was, we had visitors. The Denali's are three fellow "vegetarian" vampires that we are acquainted with. They are wonderful women who happen to be succubae, and at times each had been my lover. We are all single and they are cool with it. It's a vamp thing.
I stood outside the room for a moment and listened, they knew I was there but they were distracted and were not paying attention to me just yet. Tanya was trying her wiles on Jasper. He has never encouraged her and she has always seen this as a challenge. I guess spouse be dammed she was going to give it one more try.
"Tanya quit being a Bitch and leave Alice and Jasper alone," this voice came from a snarky Rosalie. Thank heavens for Rosalie; she has a low tolerance for bull shit so she will quickly put Tanya in her place.
"Where is Edward, I am so looking forward to seeing him again?" I hear Tonya purr to Carlisle. Cue me I think to myself with a smile as I walk toward the door.
As I walked into the room to greet our guests, Tanya moved forward, almost gliding towards me. She is a very regal lady, tall, voluptuous, with strawberry blonde hair. She just exudes sex. She smiled sweetly at me with a knowing look in her eye and reached out both her arms to welcome me with an embrace. I could see it was going to be an interesting visit with them here. I smiled at the thought that I would have more than hunting to do during my non pixie hours. Come to think of it a little tension relief would be nice. It's been years.
As she put her arms around me I heard what I can only say was a high pitched scream. No one else could hear what I heard however. They must have seen the expression on my face and that alerted my family to the fact that something wasn't quite right. Carlisle took immediate action, moving forward and quickly pulling Tanya back from me and pushing her toward her family. "No, not now, Tanya." He gestured to something behind me. "Edward you need to look behind you quickly!"
I turned and then I realized that my Pixie was not only angry but she looked vengeful. She was standing there before me in typical teen garb, jeans, tee, and chucks; but she was also clutching a knife. Her face was contorted into one of anger and jealousy and she was ready to go after Tanya. It was then that I noticed that this wasn't just something only I was seeing. They all could see the knife in her hand but to the rest of the assembly it was just a floating knife. It looked like one of the knives from the chopping block in our kitchen and somehow she is physically moving it.
I was shocked at what I saw before me, but was also shocked at my pixie. I have never seen her look so angry or hurt. No one was here to harm me; surely she did not think that Tanya would do anything?
I move towards her tentatively and kneeled before her, "Pixie….what is wrong, tell me"
She wouldn't say anything. She just would look at Tanya with hate filled eyes. I know I must have looked silly talking to thin air but no one moved or spoke; they just let me continue with what I was doing. I guess with a floating knife in a room there isn't much to say. We all knew that a knife couldn't hurt one of us, we are like stone. But still it's a shock to have something like this happen. No doubt Carlisle will explain to the Denali's later.
"Pixie, give me the knife," I reach my hand out to Pixie and pulled the knife from her hand, and pitched it to a waiting Carlisle. As soon as I took possession of the floating knife the room erupted in noise. Everyone was questioning me, but I only have eyes for my girl. She moved her hand toward me and grasped my fingers and then as I pulled her toward me, I saw the tears glisten at her eyes. She thought she was going to lose me to someone else. It is only then I realize I could feel her! They can't see her, but I could FEEL HER!
"Pixie, there is nothing to fear from Tanya, she is just an old friend and that is all. There is nothing between us, I promise you" I see a look of displeasure on Tanya's face at this, but at the moment I just don't care. My pixie was jealous, of Tanya! Oh lord, I had a hormonal teen with a crush. I knew then that there was no getting intimately reacquainted with one of the sisters going to happen on this visit. Actually, thinking about that, I don't even care about them anymore.
Then I hear her little voice, a voice so sweet that asks "Really Edward, you're not lying to me, you don't love her?"
"No Pixie, I don't love her that I can promise you" I smile and wipe a tear from her eye. There is nothing of the tear on my finger, nor do they see me holding the girl but now they know that my girl is real. And I forget Tanya; I forget everything but my pixie that is in my arms for the first time. I have to say that I like it.
Later after Pixie has gone for the morning it is group discussion time. The guest are hunting so it is just family. Rosalie smirks from Emmett's lap. "I like her, anyone who wants to go head to head with the horny bitch has my vote"
"Rosalie, your manners," Esme admonishes from her side of the room.
"Oh, you can't say you haven't wanted to rip her hands off your husband at one time or another, they just have no boundaries." Alice said with a giggle next to Jasper. He has a smile on his face at her giggle, and reverently leans over to kiss her. "You have nothing, to worry about baby," he whispers into her ear.
"I have no doubts, about my sons, or my husband Rosalie, I just will not disparage a visitor in my home"
"Let's get back to the poltergeist," Emmett redirects the conversation back to what we all wanted to discuss in the first place, "I want one" Rosalie loudly slapped the back of his head. It is something he is used to so he and we barely flinch when it happens.
I don't think she is a poltergeist," Carlisle speaks softly deep in thought. "I think it could be some sort of astral projection."
"She is a real girl somewhere?" Alice asked.
"I think so too." Jasper adds. "I used to hear her speaking to Edward through his mind, but last night, I heard her voice like she was here."
"Well, her powers are growing as she does." Carlisle has a notebook out taking notes. Actually this is his third notebook over the years dedicated to my Pixie. Every twitch I have made in relation to the pixie has been noted and analyzed. "She would make an interesting vampire." He mumbles as he adds to his notes.
The idea of her by my side is appealing. That is if she was a little older of course. This life is lonely.
"How old is she now Edward?" Esme queries bringing me back to the present.