In which Doctor Who is referenced and DEATH plays a game of chess
The skeleton inspects an hourglass so splintered with cracks it is held together by Sheer Will. The sand has run out. The skeleton grins.
TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE. WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.
"Who are you to dare call me by that filthy name!" The man (creature) hisses at the black-cloaked figure. "I am Lord Voldemort. Fear me! I have ended thousands of lives!"
I KNOW. I WAS THERE. Death tilts his head, considering the man (monster) waving his wand threateningly (frantically) and shouting words only slightly hysterically.
The skeleton reaches out. Boney fingers clamp around the wizard's wrist. Tom jerks, but the hand holds firm. FEAR ME MORTAL. I END ALL LIVES.
"No!" The snake-man squeaks emphatically. "I cannot die!"
EVERYTHING HAS ITS TIME AND EVERYTHING DIES.* The words taste of leather and resonate with an almost Northern accent.
"But I can't." The man whines. "I made certain of that."
ONLY TWO THINGS IN LIFE ARE CERTAIN, AND I ASSURE YOU I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MONEY.
"Wait! We could play a game. Chess." The desperate plea of a dead man.
A black table, with matching chairs appears between the two with a chessboard already prepared.
"What the hell is this!" Tom exclaims. "It has multiple levels…and why does that one look like a pepper pot?"
THIS IS THREE DIMENTIONAL CHESS
"But I don't know how to play three dimensional chess!"
I SUGGEST YOU LEARN QUICKLY
"But you're not being fair!"
I THOUGHT THAT WAS LIFE?
"But I—wha—it's not fair."
OF COURSE NOT
I AM NOT A VERY SKILLED CHESS PLAYER
Tom is ambitious, cunning, brutal. DEATH is patient. It is several minutes into the game before Tom realizes DEATH still has all his pieces (even though the wizard is positive he captured the queen, and both bishops already), but his side of the board is almost empty. DEATH moves one of his pieces incorrectly. The knight moves itself to the correct position and skewers Tom's king with his lance.
CHECK MATE and DEATH pulls out his scythe.
*quote from a mad man with a blue box who has met Death far more times than anyone living (besides perhaps Rincewind)