Feel the Heat

"Is it hot or what?" Vinnie made the comment while looking out the window of the Last Chance Garage. "I remember it being hot on Mars because we didn't have water or anything liquid form, but this is ridiculous!" He turned to view Charley's temperature gauge, which reported 114 degrees Fahrenheit in Wildcat City, marking the 30th day in a row the city had suffered temperatures of 100 degrees or more.

"I think it's because Earth is closer to the sun than Mars is, Vincent," Throttle replied. "That's why it's hot today. Either that or Limburger's cooking something up again. You know what, though? I like the heat better than the cold between the two. Besides, if that heat's coming from Limburger, you can bet things will get plenty hot before long."

"What makes you so sure Limburger's behind the heat?" Modo spoke up. "Sometimes it's this hot without him. Besides, Wildcat City's had a heat index problem for 30 straight days now."

"That's why," said Throttle as his antennae began to glow. "I sense a scheme sizzling from old stink fish himself. Battle mode, bros! It's time to ROCK…"

"…and RIDE!" everyone shouted, jumping on their bikes, gunning the engines, and blasting off. Charley had remembered to open the door well in advance this time. "I never know when I can find the time," she later wrote in her journal, "but I've just got to teach them the etiquette of leaving a room."

While studying his radar from his helmet, Throttle spotted the coordinates of Limburger's latest temporary hideout (you see, he was tired of rebuilding his tower as it led him into a debt that was six times the amount of the national debt the USA was currently at, so he settled for temporary hideouts until he could find a way to pay the debt or else go to jail forever). "Oh, yeah, there you go," he said. "This is the place. And look what else I spy with my pink little eye: it's just the first phase of the machine according to Limburger's plans. Mike it, Modo!"

Modo fired a portable microphone that attached itself to one of the windows of Limburger's hideout so the Mice could listen in. "You see, Karbunkle," Limburger had been saying, "with this machine the place will fry to death. It won't destroy the ozone layer, but it will be too hot underneath so that the ozone will only make it worse. Okay, so I'm guilty of genocide, but this is something this town's mercenaries, the Quarrelsome Quartet, could never do. Such idiots!"

"Yes, your cheesiness," Karbunkle laughed. "And no one can stop us. With the loudmouth lion in the golden armor our prisoner, there's no way he can stop us much less those meddlesome mice!"

"He has been getting to be quite a loudmouth, not to mention his die-hard propaganda. I shall not be saying more about the wretched flag this country uses; it only gives me nightmares!"

"It'd better, because it will fly the day you die for your crimes," Leo the Patriotic Lion said to himself soft enough so Limburger couldn't hear him, as he continued struggling to get free from the clutches Karbunkle had held him captive. "I'm just glad I wore the armor today. If I could get free, I could send a red alert to the Biker Mice and they'd be here in no time." Then he heard the revving of engines. "Whoa! They must've sensed it themselves!" he exclaimed. "Prepare yourself, soldier! You're headed for the battlefield!" He braced himself for the impact that followed.

"Oh, momma! They got Leo!" Modo exclaimed worryingly, then suddenly feeling the glow of rage in his eye. "Nobody but nobody captures Mr. Stars & Stripes and gets away with it! Let's RIDE!" He led the attack on Limburger's base.

"Love the way he says that!" Throttle smiled as he and Vinnie followed their bro to the hideout.

As expected, Limburger was prepared. When the alarms went off, he sent his goons to attack. As Limburger expected, the Mice were prepared as well, fighting back. Yet it seemed like the Mice were fighting with all their might and getting nowhere fast. "Oh, buzz kill!" Vinnie snorted. "Will it ever end?"

"Old stink fish must have been recruiting more goons," Throttle spoke up. "Typical! Tell you what; you guys take on the goons. I'll get Leo out of there."

"Gotcha," Modo replied as he and Vinnie seemingly took a detour. Both mice kept up with various temperature displays around the city, which now read 145 degrees. It didn't help that there were thunderstorms approaching, but that didn't stop Limburger's machine.

Throttle aimed for Limburger's hideout at the most lethal angle possible and popped a wheelie, using his rockets to boost himself towards ground zero. When he broke the glass, Limburger panicked (naturally). "What? NO!" he screamed. "Not my ever-so-costly sun machine!" Grease Pit and Karbunkle took their defensive perimeters, but a punch from Throttle's battle glove (after he lit it up) sent the two rolling into the wall like a bowling ball.

Without saying a word, Throttle fired several shots from his pistol. The first freed Leo from the clutches of the trap Karbunkle had built and the next few caused an electric short circuit in the machine. Leo ran to Throttle's bike and climbed on the back of the seat as the heroic commander-in-chief took off and headed for freedom. The resulting explosion from the machine led to a resulting explosion of the hideout, leaving Limburger and his dunces for henchmen black as ink. The fire brigades didn't have to bother with the building, as the downpour that eventually put Wildcat City under a flash flood warning put the fire out. (By this point, the temperatures had dropped all the way to 69 degrees, making it a new world record.) Limburger didn't bother to argue with the police as they arrived and apprehended him again, but instead of settling for the local jail, they brought him all the way back to Alcatraz, where he really belonged. (Rump and Hairball had been imprisoned in Alcatraz as well.)

For the record, the Biker Mice assumed the public would thank them at their next rock concert, since everybody was trying to get out of the rain. Nobody seemed to even know about the machine being the cause of the heat; everyone assumed it just suddenly got cooler and cooler, and everyone was grateful. Leo was, of course, the most grateful. "You shall have the nation's gratitude for this," he said. "Better yet, the whole world has you to thank; this planet would have been just as dry and barren as Mars was, at least before Stoker's Regenerator terraformed it. No offense."

"None taken," Modo replied. "We're just glad you're okay."

"Frankly, Modo," Leo said, "I could've handled that terrorist myself, but both his body odor and his trap prevented me from being able to do so. Thanks again. I salute you!" He proceeded to do just that. The Biker Mice each gave a thumbs-up back to Leo. Then they decided to wait for the rain to die down just a bit until it was tolerable before going to eat lunch.


Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and whoever else owns the rights

Leo the Patriotic Lion © me