Gold and Steal

Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie were laughing and singing along with the radio as they cruised around their current hometown of Wildcat City, Kansas, USA (due to Charley's sister now owning the Last Chance Garage in Chicago). All three mice had become instant superstars with their rock band, the Martian Freedom Fighters, and the Martian Mice as a whole population had become well respected by the country. Just so that everyone is aware, they did get bored easily in case a villain hadn't struck for days or even weeks or if their rock band tours and/or recording sessions were on hiatus. But today was just a day to have fun.

For the most part, Ronaldo Rump was crying. Nothing he did worked to get what he really wanted: Stoker's new rechargeable Regenerator. With Cataclysm dead, Hairball in jail, and Dr. Catorkian on probation (after a court ruling), it was just him and some of his staffers. Thanks to the actions of Leo the Patriotic Lion, his TV game show "Vigilante Vengeance" was off the air for good and all those TV viewers were now permanently tuning in to the radio instead, even going as far as throwing their TVs in the dumpster. What Rump needed to do was trap the mice. But every trap had been used or used before him. It was hopeless.

Meanwhile, at the Last Chance Garage in Wildcat City, Charley had just opened shop. She had an advertisement: "Oil changes starting at just $29.95. Basic brake packages as low as $19.95." Where had she possibly heard that before? Meinike, of course. (At Meinike, you're always the driver. If you don't like Meinike, trust the Midas touch.)

Charley paused to watch the mice drive by. They waved, but didn't stop. They just kept on crusing. Charley was used to that, however.

Everything was A-OK for the mice until Vinnie passed by a street sign that broke apart due to the wind velocity. It happened to him before, remember, on the day Ronaldo Rump masqueraded as a police officer and then a courtroom judge. Was it déjà vu for him? Of course not. It was only a coincidence. It was also a coincidence that Throttle said the exact same words to Vinnie. This sign, by the way, read "Littering: $500 fine," because Wildcat City, thanks to its excellent police force and its harsh laws (in action even before Leo the Patriotic Lion gave his speeches that radically turned America inside-out and upside-down for the better), had lasted 150 years and not one single crime had ever gone unpunished.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Vincent!" he exclaimed. "That's the, no...third street sign you've wasted this week." He imitated a referee whistle and then added, "I'm calling a two-root beer penalty!"

"What? Me?" Vinnie exclaimed in disgust. "What makes you think it was yours truly? It could have just as easily been you, you know!"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it was you, bro!" Modo replied, pointing to part of the sign that was still attached to his bike.

"Oh!" Vinnie exclaimed again. "How come I'm always the first to get sought with the blame? Man, you guys sure know how to buzz-kill a nice Sunday morning joyride!"

"Well, you better consider getting over it, amigo!" Throttle replied, cracking a big smile.

"Because the real fun's about to begin!" Modo added, laughing. "Ha, ha! Look, bros! Up ahead! I see WARCAT. Looks like he wants us to join him!" WARCAT was the town's most famous tiger. He dressed in nothing but black clothes (including his head's bandanna and his mask), spoke with a gruff voice, and most importantly, was a biker. He named his bike "Fireball" thanks to its design and its top speed of 450 MPH. It looked like any regular American chopper, like Throttle's and Modo's bikes. (Vinnie's bike was a sport racing bike.)

"Oh, he's the baddest mammajammer on this side of the Mississippi!" Vinnie exclaimed in joy.

"Shift it into high gear, bros," Throttle announced. "The tiger's calling the calvary!" The bros rode on towards where WARCAT was driving his bike. When they caught up, WARCAT greeted them. "Hey, Biker Mice! Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, not much, bro," said Throttle. "We were just crusin' around, you know, when we saw you. We wondered if you were asking us to join your party, or something?"

"Actually, I was," WARCAT replied. "As you know, the Quarrelsome Quartet is the G-52 enemy, but with most of its members expelled—Alkadozer's dead, his two henchmen are imprisoned, and Godllub is now on our side thanks to getting control of his mind back—Alfred Coats Bendraqi is the one boss left. I just picked up a radio signal announcing his plans to steal our city's gold supply, which we treasure as much as the gold stored inside Fort Knox. I don't know how he's going to do it, but it's my duty to stop him. I've got SUPERCAT and CRIPTOCAT coming in for backup."

"Well, glad we found you, then," Throttle nodded. "Okay, you motorcycle madmen. Let's ROCK..."

"...and RIDE!" everyone shouted, gunning their engines again and speeding up to full speed. WARCAT led the way so that the Mice could see where the location was. Along the way, due to their communication links, Stoker, Rimfire, Carbine, and Mace also joined up with the party on their respective bikes. "Guess this is turning into a game of Super Hang-On," WARCAT chuckled to himself.

High in the sky, SUPERCAT scanned the area with his X-Ray vision until he caught sight of WARCAT. "Aha," he said. "I see WARCAT is leading his own charge of the bike brigade here. That's a good thing." He turned on his pager. "WARCAT, do you read?"

"I read you loud and clear, Super C," WARCAT replied. "I've got the Biker Mice and their comrades with me, and have informed them of Bendraqi's plans. I just do not know he is going to steal the gold, but he's going to try."

"I know," said SUPERCAT. "What business of his is it anyway?"

"It's not."

"That's just how I feel. All right. I can tell you the coordinates of Bendraqi's location right now is 26 degrees south, 30 degrees west. You need to lead the pack in that direction."

"Roger!" WARCAT cut off the link and switched it over to CRIPTOCAT (a.k.a. game show lover Nathan Stanley), who was riding in the passenger seat of the Lionmobile drove by BONECRUSHER (a.k.a. sports expert Leo Fitzgerald; this confirms the analogy "BONECRUSHER is to Batman as CRIPTOCAT is to Robin," except CRIPTOCAT has superpowers; he just can't defy gravity, he's not very strong compared to others, and he doesn't have X-ray vision).

"CRIPTOCAT! Come in!" WARCAT called.

"CRIPTOCAT here," CRIPTOCAT replied, after putting in the headphones necessary to be used. "What's going on?"

"SUPERCAT just told me Bendraqi's location. It's 26 degrees south, 30 degrees west. You need to get BONECRUSHER to drive that direction. And I've got the Biker Mice with me. They learned about the case while going for a Sunday drive, since today, after all, is Sunday."

"Okay, I'll do that. Thanks!" CRIPTOCAT turned off the link and turned to his boss. "That was WARCAT on the phone."

"What did he want?" asked BONECRUSHER.

"He said he's got the Biker Mice with him for help in stopping Bendraqi's plans to steal all the gold, and SUPERCAT told him to tell me to tell you that Bendraqi's location is 26 degrees south, 30 degrees west, so you need to drive the Lionmobile over there."

"Okay, I got you covered," BONECRUSHER nodded, turning his one-of-a-kind superhero car in that direction.

"When everyone gets there, we need to set up perimeter defenses," WARCAT continued. "Throttle, I'll let you take charge of that."

"Gotcha covered, bro," Throttle replied. "Okay, bros, and Carbine. Let's do it!" The mice drove their bikes into the specified positions.

When everybody got to the location, the site with the gold was being heavily guarded. The security guards were told not to let anybody in. This was something Modo was the first to notice. "Uh-oh," he exclaimed. "I don't think they'll even let us in. It's heavily guarded."

"Not to worry, bro," Throttle replied. "Their just doing their job. If we have to attack from the outside, so be it."

The group pulled up to the front gate of the site, and SUPERCAT touched down next to WARCAT. After saying hello to the mice and the team of BONECRUSHER and CRIPTOCAT (who had just got out of the Lionmobile), he turned to the security guard. Naturally, the guard reacted, "Sorry! ID required for permission to enter! Go away!"

"Is that any way to talk to a G-52?" SUPERCAT replied sternly. "I know you're doing your job, but you better watch your tone of voice, mister!"

"My apologies," the guard apologized. "It's natural for me to enforce that law, which does apply to you, according to the book. I just acted mean."

"Forgiven," said WARCAT. "What do you know about Bendraqi trying to steal all the gold from here? If you don't know anything, now you know."

"I was aware of that," said the guard. "Probably the reason I acted so mean. We just put up our newest electric fence around the site, because security is so tight. But I have a feeling Bendraqi is going to get around even that."

Just then, an alarm went off. "There's the alert!" the guard announced. "Bendraqi's coming! Do whatever you have to get him out! Just try not to get in trouble with the rest of the authorities, okay?"

"Deal," said Stoker. The group looked up to see Bendraqi arriving in his doomship. A large tube descended from the ship and aimed for the spot where the bulk of the gold was kept. CRIPTOCAT snapped his fingers, activating his powers, so that the gold would be protected under a force field. "But it is only temporary," he explained. "You'll have to improvise the rest. I can hold up this thing forever!"

"Don't worry, bro," Throttle assured him. "We'll think of something."

"We will?" Carbine and Rimfire exclaimed. "Uncle Modo, what do you think?" Rimfire continued.

"Not sure, Rimfire," Modo replied. "But I think Vinnie can try that spin trick he did on the Weathermeister some time ago!"

"What a rush!" Vinnie exclaimed, loving the idea. "I love pulling off that trick!"

"Let's try it!" WARCAT approvingly added. "This is a stunt I've been dying to see!"

CRIPTOCAT snapped one of his fingers again, creating a large jump ramp for Vinnie. Vinnie put on his helmet again and drove toward the jump. At that point, the force field disappeared. "Oh, no! That's it!" CRIPTOCAT shouted. "Force field's gone!"

"Go, Vinnie! Go!" WARCAT shouted.

Vinnie revved up his bike and jumped off the jump. Bendraqi panicked. "What?" he screamed. "What is this?"

"Ha! Make room for one more!" Vinnie announced, using his bike to twirl Bendraqi's blimp like he did before. But the blimp continued to suck up the gold. Vinnie didn't care, however; he was going his part. Stoker and Mace grabbed rifles and fired at the blimp, but nothing was happening.

"I told you, it's MY gold and I'm keeping it!" Bendraqi screamed. He regained control of his blimp and pushed Vinnie back off. Vinnie landed safely and raised his arms in triumph. "What a rush!" he shouted. "I may not have succeeded, but I'm still BAD!"

"AMEN to that!" WARCAT nodded.

Bendraqi continued stealing the gold. The forces of good kept firing back. It seemed nothing was happening. Then, at a crucial moment, before Bendraqi was done with stealing with the gold, Vinnie tried the jump again. This time, Bendraqi's technology malfunctioned as Vinnie twirled the blimp even faster. All the stolen gold fell back into place, and Bendraqi's doomship twirled into the Bengal Lake, where the resulting explosion left Bendraqi as black as charcoal. Mace, who had earlier proved his cowboy skills to the G-52s, took out a lariat and lassoed Bendraqi before he could drown. WARCAT had the honor of escorting the villain to jail.

"We did it, bros!" Throttle yelled to the group. "Bendraqi's blimp is totaled!"

"If only Leo could see us now," Modo smiled, referring to Leo the Patriotic Lion.

"I'm sure he'd be proud," said SUPERCAT. "I'll guarantee you I am, being the other patriotic icon of this town."

"What do you say we get some hot dogs and root beer to celebrate?" Vinnie suggested.

"Sounds good to me," SUPERCAT replied. "See you there." He flew off towards the jail to check in with WARCAT. The rest of the group headed for the hot dog stand Throttle suggested. Everybody felt proud of themselves. The gold was safe, Bendraqi was in prison, and the whole town was jumping up and down for joy when they were informed of the good news.


Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies

Super Hang-On © SEGA

SUPERCAT, WARCAT, CRIPTOCAT, G-52s and world © me

NOTE: T2's absence in this story is due to his promotion of his "Hip Solution Drink."