A Testimonial From Throttle

"I think the question I get asked the most is why I'm regarded as a traitor most of the time. And I thought Stoker had it bad. Let me say this to you: I'm not a traitor. I'm the commander-in-chief of the Biker Mice From Mars. I'm Throttle, and I'm here to whip your tail if you call me a traitor one more time!"

That's a message I've given to all mice, cats, and humans who think I was a traitor to my planet Mars. Of course, Carbine had every right to call me and my bros that, because of our absence from Mars for a while when those Plutarkian stink fish shot us down and made us crash into the scoreboard at Quigley Field. We sure proved her wrong. After we saved Mars from an asteroid attack that was clearly Lawrence Limburger's doing, she changed her mind about us. She and I still keep in touch, and with all mice stuck here on Earth with the destruction of society on Mars, it's easier than ever. Sometimes I do wish Vincent would calm down every once in a while; he's a wild and crazy, spirited kid, but lots of style. Ego sets in with him most of the time.

Vinnie, Modo, and I have made the scoreboard our hideout ever since. Don't get me wrong. Plutarkians would never think of looking for us there. Still, it seems to be a magnet for crashing Martian mice; Modo's nephew Rimfire crashed into the board when the Plutarkians shot him down. Perhaps we should just paint a target on that thing! At least, that's what Modo thinks.

You gotta love Modo. He's your classic "gentle giant;" he's got a big heart for the kids and animals, but he ain't no creampuff. You call him a rat, or otherwise test his beliefs, and it'll infuriate him like you've never seen before. His one visible eye glows red when he's prone to fits of rage.

As for me, I love being calm and cool under pressure, but I, too, am ticked off whenever you call me a rat. Fortunately, the good citizens of the USA know better than to do so. It's only master criminals and foreign tourists who think Modo and I are rats. Wonder why no one ever think's Vinnie is a rat? Maybe it's his white skin. Who knew?

NASA, you don't have to worry about searching for life on Mars anymore; the proof is in us mice. If you have never heard the story of Mars from our perspective, stop for a minute and visualize a Mars from several years back. A Mars that has an organized military, society, and balanced system of government. A Mars that isn't just alive but thriving. So why were we destroyed when we fought so bravely? It all goes back to the Plutarkians. Seems they wasted all their own natural resources, so they go around strip-mining the cosmos of theirs. Earth is another target of theirs, and that's where my bros and I come in. They bought up our planet and tore it apart to ship the resources back to Plutark. As a result, Plutark is stable going once again. Our population fought back, though most of us were wiped out. Still, there were about 2-3 million mice left when everybody eventually left Mars for good and came to Earth. We thank you, America, for letting us in, and if you ever need military strategies for your wars, who better to turn to that General Carbine? Oh, yeah; she's the cream of crop.

I guess I've got that superhero charm if I'm going to have to suffer damaged vision. That sycophant Karbunkle is the whole reason I wear the green sunglasses, since my vision was damaged. I can still see okay, though; sometimes I'll look through a telescope if I ever want to take a nostalgic look back at Mars, or sometimes at Saturn (those awesome Surfer Cats of Saturn abandoned the Catatonian dictatorship rule on Saturn and came here to Earth, and they team up with us in our current battles). Modo gave his right arm to the cause and one of his eyes; if that eye the eye patch is covering up isn't gone, it is damaged. His bionic arm's got everything that suits him, and it helps physically increase his strength in the same way my battle gloves increase mine when they are activated. You don't want to suffer a knockout from my battle gloves or Modo; it'll be a technical one, I promise you.

Vinnie got half of his face taken away. That's why he wears the mask. Still, he's the high-spirited, adrenaline junkie of the trio. He loves the rush and the glory that goes with it. He's got an attitude, just like Sonic the Hedgehog, but he still is the best biker between me, him, and Modo. (Modo and I tie for second place.) He does have a faithful and serious side to him; when Stoker was thought to be traitor, Vinnie staunchly defended his case and came out victorious in the end. His trademark triumphant laugh and his catchphrase, "What a rush!", have helped make him a force to be reckoned with, even with Charley.

And speaking of Charley, she's an awesome mechanic and owner of her own garage, the Last Chance Garage. She is always putting upgrades to our bikes whenever we need them. She's headstrong and never afraid to go to battle, even though we try to keep her safe. On one occasion, she did go into battle as a masked motorcyclist, but after we found her out, she decided to give it a rest. She also steamed Vinnie for his ego. Modo and I were at guilt, too, because we took her for granted. We don't now.

Not until recently have we been fighting the Catatonian Empire, who wants our Regenerator, an invention from General Stoker, possibly the greatest military figure Mars ever knew (along with Carbine). Stoker had been to Earth previously to gather molecules for Mars vital to the device's construction. After we lost contact with Stoker, Carbine called on us for help. We found Stoker (after several bouts with Hairball and Cataclysm, those Catatonian leaders, and that greedy property man with an oversized butt, Ronaldo Rump) and took him back to the Last Chance Garage, which was a sigh of relief on Carbine's part.

For those of you who don't know about it, the Regenerator is an invention from Stoker that has the ability to terraform Mars and create a safe haven for all mice. The Catatonians were hoping to use it to claim Mars for themselves. Ronaldo Rump used one of his own (because he captured Stoker and forced him to build one, which is why everybody but Vinnie thought he was a traitor) for his own land development schemes. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, I always say.

My bros and I adore nothing more than the taste of hot dogs, and our beverage of choice is root beer. Though we'll eat other stuff from time to time, that's our absolute favorite. Wonder if Sonic the Hedgehog drinks root beer? I know for a fact he won't eat a hot dog unless it's a chili dog. I know this because I've ran into Sonic before. Whoa! You ever seen someone go as fast as him? Even Vincent was impressed, as was Stoker and Carbine. He doesn't need a bike to enjoy the adrenaline rush. And he's helped kept us safe from that fatso Dr. Eggman, who once teamed up with Limburger in something involving a solar eclipse from the perspective of Mars. While it was a thrill to be able to go home to Mars, it was only temporary; our home is Earth now. The same fate is true for Sonic. He's stuck on Earth because of those so-called Chaos Emeralds. I feel sorry for him. So do Modo and Charley. (Vinnie's too busy being the overblown ego he is; still, you gotta love him.)

Seeing as how Sonic has his own rock band, Sonic JAM, we decided to form one of our own; we call ourselves the Martian Freedom Fighters (appropriately named after our fight to protect Mars). Vincent and I sing most of the lead vocals while jamming on electric guitars, and occasionally, Rimfire, Modo's nephew, will join us on the guitar; otherwise he'll work on auxiliary percussion if our song requires it. If Carbine has the lead vocal, she accompanies herself on acoustic guitar. If Charley has the lead, she'll accompany herself on keyboard. Stoker is content with never having the lead since he's our drummer, but he can still sing, and he'll add to the harmony on the chorus most of the time. We're touring now, and we hope to see you at our next show.

Until we meet again, remember this: no matter what you do or wherever you go, RIDE FREE, CITIZENS!


Biker Mice From Mars © Rick Ungar, Tom Tataranowicz, Tom Tataranowicz Animation, Brentwood Television Funnies, and whoever else owns the rights

Sonic the Hedgehog © SEGA