Author Notes: So I started writing this, anticipating a short little cute thing. Instead, it's long – it ended up about 10,000 words. Hopefully you all like it and it's not too ridiculous. Warning: it is a little OOC, vulgar and Sasuke is kind of a pervert. I hope that doesn't deter anyone too much.

Disclaimer: The series Naruto does not belong to me – rather, to Masashi Kishimoto. All of the characters, name settings, etc. (unless mentioned or recognized otherwise) belong to him, not me.

Summary: Seducing Sakura's hot pool boy is a little bit harder than what Sasuke imagined. –SasuNaru, NaruSasu- Other couples include: SakuIno, mentioned NejiTen

Specifies Scene Change: X X X


When Sakura invited him to her engagement party, Sasuke was not surprised. They have been friends for over four years, but have known each other for longer – six years, in fact. To Sasuke, those first two years do not count as friends because Sakura was in an awkward and annoying 'worship Sasuke stage'. Thankfully, she has grown up, moved on and learned to appreciate Sasuke more as a human being rather than this guy to be ogled at all the time. Now, she is probably one of the closest people to him.

He will never say that out loud, but he figures everyone knows.

Standing at her front door, he muses that Sakura really has matured and become successful. She is a well-recognized doctor, who earns enough income to own a beautiful home. She shares it with her partner, with whom she just recently became engaged.

That is another thing Sasuke could not have predicted in the past. The engagement does not surprise him, but rather the partner. He thought Sakura was strictly into males.

As the door opens, he knows that definitely is not the case – if Sakura's obviously breasted fiancée is any indication.

How times change.

"Hey Sasuke," Sakura's fiancée says, pulling the door open wider. She looks no different than always; her blonde hair is pulled back into the customary long ponytail, with one bang hanging in her face. She wears a bikini and a sheer dress over it, but the layer does nothing to cover her.

"Ino," he greets, earning a smile from her.

"Party is in the back. If you want alcohol, there's some in the kitchen."

With that, Ino walks away, probably heading back to the festivities. Watching her disappear into a part of the house, Sasuke muses that he genuinely approves of Sakura's choice. While Ino can be a little ditzy at times, she is an intelligent person. She also is financially stable; she works at her family's flower shop, a business well-known throughout the whole city. Sasuke knows that sometimes Sakura likes feeling and being treated like a princess, so a partner with some money is required.

However, most important of all, Ino loves Sakura. Sasuke cannot count how many times Ino has surprised her with gifts, vacations and love letters. His friend is a hopeless romantic and has always wanted a fairytale romance, which is what Ino provides. Sakura did not get prince charming, but Sasuke supposes princess charming will suffice instead.

With Ino's approval, Sasuke enters the home, briefly taking in the interior before walking into the slightly crowded kitchen. He grabs a can of beer, taking in the environment around him. The crowd is not that bad, but it is still too big for his taste. Going through the back door, Sasuke immediately scowls at the scene; there are even more people out here, making the kitchen seem like a better place to relax. However, the amount of people is not surprise; her engagement party is also a pool party, so the whole neighborhood might as well be here.

He would go back inside and hide somewhere in a corner, but Sakura would probably find him and then throw him in the pool to teach him a lesson.

Resigned to his fate, Sasuke decides to spend it in peace; he spots an empty chair at the corner of the pool, just waiting to be sat in. To his luck, there is an umbrella above it that will provide him shade. He does not do well in the sun at all, even if he uses a whole bottle of sunblock on himself.

Once he sits in the chair, he spends a grand total of two minutes and seventeen seconds in solace before someone finds him.

New record.


Pink hair is suddenly shoved in his face and Sasuke is forced into a hug. When the person pulls away, Sakura's happy green eyes fill his vision.

"You made it!"

He looks at her blankly. "It's your engagement party; it would be rude if I didn't."

"I know, but you don't do crowds," Sakura says, smiling. "Ino showed you in?"

"Yeah, half nude," Sasuke comments. Briefly running his eyes over Sakura's form, he notes that she is not entirely decent either. She too wears a bikini.

"Sasuke, it's a pool party. You're probably wearing the most clothes here."

It is true, and he is not ashamed. He may be slightly hot in his tee shirt and long pants, but again:

He and the sun are not friends.

"Well anyway, I was just passing by and saw you," Sakura says, squeezing him into a hug again. He hates hugs. "I have to find the pool boy and my pig. I think the pool pump is acting up again and we have no idea how to fix it."

She has a pool boy? No wonder the water is clear – Sakura does not know how to work a pool for her life.

"Don't be too antisocial, okay? Seems like Neji is heading over anyway; you two can be loners together."

With that, Sakura heads off and Neji comes into view. The man works with Sakura in the hospital, often doing a lot of surgeries for her patients. Sasuke has met and talked to Neji a handful of times, so he knows he does not have to brace himself for him. The man does not try to make him talk and is just as content with silence as Sasuke is. When the pale-eyed male approaches, Sasuke notes that even he is dressed appropriately for the weather only in swimming trunks, despite his very light complexion.

Neji will regret his shorts when his skin peels in the morning. No amount of sunblock can protect him.



That is their greeting – short and formal. Suddenly noticing a female close to Neji, Sasuke raises an eyebrow.

"This is my cousin, Hinata," he introduces, and she greets with a small bow. Despite being cousins, they look like identical twins; same eyes, complexion and facial structure. Even their hair is same the length.

"Hello Mr.…?"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"Sasuke is one of Sakura's close friends," Neji explains to Hinata before turning his attention to Sasuke once more. "My wife couldn't make it, so I asked Sakura if Hinata could come instead."

That would explain the lack of Tenten. Sasuke cannot say he is disappointed; that woman is feisty.

"So…" Neji looks toward his left, where he sees Sakura conversing with Ino. Before they part, they kiss each other on the lips. "Are you surprised by the engagement?"

"No," Sasuke responds. "Sakura and Ino have been together for enough time now that it makes sense for them to take the next step."

After Sasuke's reply, the three go quiet. Neji decides to join Sasuke under the umbrella, with Hinata close to him. He opens his beer can, and suddenly remembering the alcohol, Sasuke follows suit.

As he is about a quarter way through the can, Sasuke spots Sakura at the side of the pool, talking animatedly to-

Sasuke immediately stops drinking.

Well hello there handsome.

Tanned skin and lean muscles everywhere, definitely visible even in a tight shirt. Sasuke is not up close, but he can tell that whoever Sakura is talking to has to be at least somewhat attractive. Normally, Sasuke does not really care that much about what people look like…

…well, unless he is looking for a quick one night stand (which, by the way, he was not looking for). However, considering sex on legs over there, there may be a change in plans.

Slightly curious, Sasuke gets up. He tells Neji that he is going to get water and offers the other some. Of course, Sasuke does not want any, but it is a good guise to use in order to pass by Sakura and the other male.

Sasuke hopes it is worth it; that face better be beautiful or he is wasting his time. Right before he reaches Sakura, he gets his answer.

The stranger is not beautiful – he is gorgeous.

And not just wow, gorgeous. More like he could eat that ass for breakfast, lunch and dinner gorgeous.

Blond hair spikes up in many directions, looking soft to the touch. His teeth are bright, his skin is smooth and his lips are completely full and kissable. However, what is most noteworthy are ocean blue eyes, the clearest blue Sasuke has ever seen in his life. In combination with a body that definitely says 'I work out', Sasuke thinks he has found a way to entertain himself during this party.

As he passes by Sakura, the woman grabs his arm and yanks him back. He looks at her questioningly.

"Saw you walking past, and I couldn't help showing you off," Sakura says, smiling. "Naruto, meet my friend Sasuke. Sasuke, this is the pool boy, Naruto. We are actually pretty close, so maybe it's kind of wrong to say he is just the pool boy. Naruto is really cool, so you were bound to meet him sooner or later."

Sasuke prefers the sooner than the later. He could stare into those eyes for days.

"Well, nice to meet you," Naruto says, extending his arm for a handshake. Sasuke accepts, pleased to feel the warmth and callouses of Naruto's hand.

So the stereotype of the sexy pool boy is true.

"Naruto works a little for Ino and I on the pool. It's a little extra money for him."

"A little? Sakura, you are pretty generous," Naruto says, smiling. The smile seems like it belongs on the blond's face.

Sasuke has never felt so enthralled before, but then again, he does not think he has met someone so attractive in his life. He has had his fair share of sexy partners, but this one could potentially take the cake.

"Well sorry to drag you away Sasuke," Sakura says, letting him go. "Go do whatever you were doing."

Shrugging, Sasuke nonchalantly walks off, but not before making eye contact with the blond.

Sakura knows how to pick them.


The Introduction:

Talk to him and make yourself known.

After giving Neji his promised bottle of water, Sasuke searches the premises, looking for the blond. When he finds him, he is sitting at the edge of the pool with his feet in the water. His shirt is gone now, revealing abs and a rather simple yet sexy spiral tattoo. Catching a glint of something, Sasuke realizes that one of Naruto's nipples has a small hoop through it.

He has hit the jackpot. Not the little shit either – the mega millions.

Before he leaves to give the pool boy company, he glances at Neji and his cousin. The male looks content watching the party, sipping on his alcohol. Hinata is next to him, eyes focused on across the pool. Eyebrows furrowed, Sasuke follows her line of direction-

-and she is staring at Naruto, complete with a small blush on her cheeks.

Oh no. She can back off.

Blondie is his.

Not even bothering to tell his company where he is going, Sasuke gets up and goes to sit next to Naruto. When he takes his seat, Sasuke crosses his legs; he is not getting in the water anytime soon.

His presence causes Naruto to look at him and then greet Sasuke with a smile.

"Sasuke, right?"

"And you're Naruto," Sasuke states. The blond nods.

"Yeah. Enjoying the party?"

"I'm coping."

Naruto laughs, seemingly not surprised by Sasuke's response. "Sakura told me you weren't too social. From the looks of your little corner over there-" The blond then points to Sasuke's previous spot, where Neji and Hinata are conversing. "-you'd rather be alone somewhere."

"Hn, watching me?"

Naruto lifts an eyebrow.

"Aren't you cocky? For two seconds I saw you. Don't get too excited."

Slightly miffed by the response, Sasuke frowns. Naruto chuckles at Sasuke's expression.

"Sorry man, didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Naruto says, although he does not sound sorry at all. His hand then rests on Sasuke's shoulder as consolation, the warmth spreading through his chest. Normally, Sasuke is very adverse to any physical contact, but considering he would rather have the blond touching him in more intimate places, he can handle a simple friendly gesture.

"You didn't offend me, so you shouldn't be the one getting too cocky."

Naruto laughs at that. "Guess not."

A few moments pass in silence before Naruto speaks again:

"So you and Sakura are friends?"

Sasuke makes a noise of affirmation. The blond grins.

"You know, when I first started doing some work for her, I thought she was really hot and I wanted to try something with her-"

Oh fuck, Sasuke does not want to listen to this.

"-but then I learned she was with someone, someone obviously not a guy. Pretty much shot that down, but they look good together. One time, I caught them on the washing machine."

Okay, so it got a little better – enough to have Sasuke vaguely intrigued, at least.

"The pool supplies are stored in the laundry room. I was going to get some more chemicals, and bam they were getting freaky right there."

Not a bad idea, Sakura.

"You know…" The blond then looks sheepish, rubbing the back of his head. "I just realized I started talking about something completely inappropriate with a stranger. Sorry."

"I have heard worse," Sasuke comments, looking down into the water. "It is something I could use against her later."

Naruto chuckles. "She will figure it out that I told you and then beat the shit out of me. I think you shouldn't ever tell her."

The idea is comical. "Maybe I should tell her, just so I could see this."

The blond stands upright, eyes wide with slight fear. He points an accusing finger at Sasuke. "No way! Don't be a bastard, man. She hasn't hit me before, but I've seen her hit her punching bag. I'm not taking my chances."

Naruto then looks to his left, his eyebrows furrowing. "Hey look, anyway, sorry to cut this short but I think Sakura wants me."

Looking in the direction of the blond's gaze, Sasuke spots his pink-haired friend, her hand waving enthusiastically to the two of them. Sasuke hides his disappointment by the intrusion – they are getting along so well, too.

"I'll probably see you around."

Hopefully more than that, if it is Sasuke's choice.

When Naruto begins to walk away, the darker-haired of the two unabashedly watches the slight swing to Naruto's hips, wondering how someone's ass could be that sexy. Sasuke wonders if Naruto is a virgin (that seems improbable; no one that hot can still be innocent) and if he has ever messed with the same sex.

He quickly looks away from the blond's body as he notices Sakura jumping around in the background, shaking her head and pointing to Sasuke. He wonders what she wants; he has not done anything and he probably is of no use to her as far as the party goes.

"Well, guess she wants you," Naruto says, sitting back in his earlier spot.

With no other option (she is starting to look impatient now), Sasuke walks over. He does not expect her to harshly grab his ear and pull him down so her lips graze his lobe.

That actually hurts.

"What are you doing?" she asks in mock sweetness, emphasized by a pinch to his ear. Why is she so violent?


"You don't talk unless absolutely necessary." Her voice loses its niceness then, her tone turning threatening. "So I'm going to tell you what I think you're doing: you are trying to score, at my engagement party. You don't talk to random people unless you want to have sex with them, and honestly, I don't approve of your careless relationships but I never tried to stop you."

Careless relationships? Well no shit Sakura, they were one-night stands. A man has needs.

Of course, he does not tell her this. She looks aggravated enough already and he does not want to risk setting her off.

"However," she hisses, "Naruto is a sweet guy, and if you're going to try something, don't screw with him."

Sasuke refrains a sigh; of course this is not going to be easy. Sakura said that she and Naruto were getting pretty close, but it seems that is an understatement. She has gone into complete mother-hen mode, which means that Naruto is a lot closer than what Sasuke first assumed.

How did he not know about this before? Sakura usually tells him everything.

Now curious, he voices his thoughts: "Why didn't you tell me about him before?"

"You get possessive about the people you're close to," Sakura states. Sasuke opens his mouth to vehemently deny that, but instead he winces as she grips his ear even harder.

"Don't even, mister. You don't admit it, but you go into passive-aggressive bitch mode when someone else comes into the picture, and that makes it kind of difficult to talk to you about those kinds of things."

What the fuck no he does not-

"I know you're denying it in your head, but it's true. I know you don't have a lot of friends, but I do. Naruto and I are friends, but you know, you'll always be my best friend Sasuke; I love you and no one will ever replace you."

She then releases his ear. He thinks it might bruise.

"Look, just make sure it's mutual, okay? You've played on people's feelings in the past and then dumped them. If you want a one-night stand, make sure he wants it too or I swear I will rip your-"

"Baby! I need your help!"

Sakura turns to the direction of her fiancée's voice. "Okay, in a second!"

How does her voice change from murderous to nice so fast? She is practically threatening him!

"Remember what I said," Sakura says before parting. 'How can he not remember?' is the better question.

When she leaves, practically skipping off like she did not just threaten his balls, Sasuke figures that her request is not that hard. At least she did not tell him to completely leave Naruto alone – she probably knows that he would not have listened, anyway.

Which, by the way, is true; that man is so fine, Sasuke has to have him just once. He would like to get somewhere before the party ends.

Looking at the blond from across the pool, Sasuke licks his lips.

Better get started.


The Plan, Attempt #1

Get his attention.

If Sasuke has learned anything from his several sexual conquests, he knows that what first attracts people is everything physical. The goal is to make Naruto look at him, which then of course will attract the blond to him. Sasuke knows he is assuming that Naruto thinks he is attractive, but then again, who does not?

He spots Sakura and Ino in the pool, trying to urge people into some kind of pool game. Getting in the pool means taking off his clothing, showing off all he has to offer and then using his muscles in action. One look at his chest and Naruto definitely has to notice him.

Now, this requires exposing himself to the sun. Sasuke has thought many times that the sun is his enemy and that it is a death trap, but if he wants sex enough, he will do what he has to.

Sasuke moves closer to the pool, hoping to get into Sakura's vision. He never would volunteer himself for this (it would look too suspicious), but if Sakura asked him, it would be easy for him to accept.

Soon enough, she spots him and yells for him to join her. At first, he rolls his eyes and pretends to give her a hard time, but then with a 'hn' Sasuke takes off his clothes and enters the water. Sneaking a glance at the nearby Naruto, he is inwardly pleased to see the blond watching him, the tanned male slouched in a pool chair lazily but sexily.

Well, looks good so far.

"Have you ever played Chicken before, Sasuke?" Ino asks, a sly grin on her face. He shrugs.

"I know the rules."

"Then let's get started. You hold Sakura, and my friend Choji has me."

When Ino climbs on another male, Sasuke allows Sakura on his shoulders. The teenage Sakura probably would have died if she knew she would get on Sasuke's shoulders one day.

Then again, the earlier Sakura would not even get close to touching him.

With a whistle from Ino, the girls immediately begin wrestling. The game starts to earn a crowd, and if Sasuke could look and see if Naruto was watching, he would.

However, a pair of pale thighs are currently choking the shit out of him, making it hard to breathe right now, let alone move his head.

On top of that, the man holding Ino – Choji – is giving him a challenge. While the girls are fighting, he is trying to trip Sasuke. Sasuke thinks it is dirty, so he figures he will play dirty too – he does the same to Choji, except he kicks the bigger male a bit harder. Unafraid of the challenge, Choji practically slams into Sasuke, causing the girls above to scream in panic.

Not one to be deterred, Sasuke does the same but with more force. The end result is in his favor; Sasuke watches as Choji's face twists into horror and then he is down in the water, Ino yelling and following afterwards.

Sasuke lets Sakura down, grateful for the loss of weight on his shoulders. He looks in Naruto's direction, seeing the blond intently looking at them. When they make eye contact, Naruto smiles and Sasuke momentarily forgets how to breathe.

He blames it on Sakura's thighs; he is still catching his breath.

"Sasuke, that was dirty!"

Ino's shout redirects his attention to her and he is slightly surprised to see her really pissed, her hair completely soaked with water.

"Your friend started it," he responds, but Ino does not seem to care.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to make this into a wrestling match!"

"Just say sorry," Sakura whispers into Sasuke's ear, eyeing her fiancée warily. "She is a sore loser. Just walk away and keep your distance."

He might as well listen to Sakura, considering she is about to marry the increasingly angered blonde. Besides, his work is done - with one glance to the blond, the guy is discreetly looking at him. Whether the look is of lust or not, it does not matter; mission accomplished.

Tired of the water and the sun, he starts to exit the pool from a nearby ladder. Suddenly, he hears Sakura yell at him, something that sounds like 'watch out'. Sasuke looks behind his back, just in time to see Ino right by him, her hands extended. He expects her to hit him or possibly even punch him.

What he does not expect is her fingers grabbing the elastic of his swim trunks. Before he can even tell her to get off, a sudden coolness envelops his lower regions and the next thing he knows is that his trunks are at his knees, not his hips.

A lot of noise around him immediately ceases. All Sasuke can do is pull up his clothing and hope that no one says anything.

Unfortunately, this is not his day.

"Ino pig! Why would you do that?!" is Sakura's scream, breaking the silence around them. A few people begin to chuckle, others make dirty comments and those who are completely mortified look away from the scene.

"He was playing dirty!"

"It's our engagement party, not a bachelorette party! My coworkers are here!"

"So are mine, forehead!"

And so the girls continue to argue, but Sasuke pays no attention to them. He does not even need to look at Naruto to know the blond is entertained. Boisterous laughing – sounding distinctly like Naruto's voice – fills his ears.

Oh yeah, he definitely got Naruto's attention with that one.

Never again is he going into a pool. Never again.

And the sun? Fuck the sun. His skin already tingles.


The Plan, Attempt #2

Approach him.

Ever since the incident, Sasuke has retreated to his pool chair. Thankfully, neither Neji nor Hinata talk about it, choosing instead to discuss other things. It takes him about a half an hour to feel less self-conscious about his accidental flash and then he deems it safe enough to begin walking around again. Besides, he has to use the bathroom.

Sasuke sees a lot of people use the kitchen door as means of entering the house. Since he especially does not want to deal with people right now, he decides to use the other door through the laundry room. He does not know if it is off-limits, but he is close enough to Sakura to be automatically forgiven.

When he enters, he is surprised by Naruto's presence in the room. However, when he sees the blond messing with little bottles, Sasuke figures he is dealing with chemicals for the pool, so it would not be weird for him to be here.

His arrival causes Naruto to turn around. Luckily, the blond just smiles at him and says nothing derogatory.


Might as well keep it cool.


"I'm just messing around, checking what needs to be re-stocked," Naruto says, putting a couple of bottles back. "How's the party?"

Sasuke must be wearing a blank stare, because Naruto winces. "Sorry, didn't mean-"

"Whatever," Sasuke bristles, feeling a little sour. The blond must be able to notice Sasuke's bad mood, because he tries to cheer him up:

"It could be worse."

Sasuke raises an eyebrow in response, finding it very hard to believe that it could be worse. After all, the majority of Sakura and Ino's guests were able to see his Uchiha glory, and the fact that Sasuke has to stick around afterwards?

Yeah. It could not be worse.

"Well…" Naruto turns back to the chemicals, shrugging his shoulders. "Yeah, it could've been worse. It's not like your dick is small or anything."

The shift in conversation immediately catches Sasuke's interest. The man he wants, talking about that?

Get him a chair – this is going to be good.

"So what are you saying?"

"What do you think I'm saying?" the blond grumbles, narrowing his eyes towards the other male in the room. "You're huge."

There is a pause, where Sasuke feels quite good about himself and Naruto realizes just how much he has boosted Sasuke's ego.

"Calm down," Naruto says quickly. "I guess in appearances that's fine, but in private, it's about the motion of the ocean. Big doesn't always mean best."

"You would know that from personal experience?" Sasuke questions smugly, making the blond's eyes widen considerably. Naruto immediately begins to sputter, moving his hands all over the place and generally not making much sense. The darker-haired of the two smirks, taking Naruto's reaction as a 'yes'.

"I don't care if you have messed around with other men," Sasuke says, trying to calm Naruto. It works; his comment makes Naruto cease his babble and it also makes relief come upon the blond's face.

"Well, guess you figured me out. I'm bisexual."

So Naruto is interested in the same sex, and by his earlier reaction, it seems he is not a virgin. Sounds good to Sasuke – his job would definitely have been a little bit harder if Naruto was straight, but Sasuke would have worked around it. So-called 'heterosexuals' have fallen for him before.

With Naruto's sexuality now definitely known, Sasuke decides to take it up a notch.

"So you've had them big?"

"That's kind of personal, don't you think?" the blond mumbles, leaning against the washer. Sasuke immediately thinks of what Naruto told him before, about Sakura and Ino having sex there. He will admit, he is a little jealous. With Naruto in such close proximity, he would not mind doing the same.

"You're the one who started freaking out when I asked. Bad experience?"

"Fine, yes. Bad experience."

Now for the approach. Sasuke moves closer to Naruto, not enough to be up in the blond's face but close enough to definitely feel his body heat. Naruto looks at him questioningly, confused by the sudden closeness.

"Are you willing to give it a try one more time?" he asks, his voice dropping down an octave. Naruto looks at him incredulously, his form freezing. Sasuke briefly thinks that Naruto is very expressive; he wears all of his emotions on his sleeve, but it seems to suit him just fine.

"Are you trying to get with me?" the blond asks in disbelief. Sasuke shrugs.

"I'm asking you if you are willing to try it one more time."

"Oh, with you though, because you're packing something and you want to show it off," Naruto says.

"I want to show it off?" Sasuke repeats questioningly. "I don't want anyone to see that…except you. It's not for showing off though; it's more about pleasing the both of us. If you haven't been able to tell already, you're very attractive…"

Sasuke knows his gaze must be smoldering, because the blond is blushing like he has never heard about sex before.

"…and you caught my attention when I first saw you."

"You do this often, don't you?" Naruto asks, making Sasuke smirk. "Like, it seems like this is your two-thousandth time trying to get with someone."

"Two-thousandth? Isn't that an exaggeration?"

"How should I know?" Naruto asks, sliding his hand through his hair. "Look, I'm flattered-"

Oh fuck no, that is the beginning of a 'but' sentence. Uchiha Sasuke is not about to be shot down.

"-but I've had my share of one timers and it's gotten pretty old. You're hot, but I've just gotten bored with it."

This has to be a joke. Sasuke's face must mirror his thoughts, because Naruto looks a little offended.

"Don't give me that look," the blond says. "I'm serious."

"Does this have anything to do with the man who was big? And now you just don't want sex period?" Sasuke questions, slightly in disbelief. How does someone get bored having sex? Obviously, Naruto has not met the right people.

"No, it does not have to do with that guy at all."

"So you are bored."

"Exactly," Naruto says, distancing himself from Sasuke. "Sorry. It was nice to meet you though."

Before Sasuke can say anything else, the blond has left the room and joined the party outside. He leaves Sasuke standing in surprise, wondering what just happened.

When he finally comes to terms that he has been rejected, the deepest scowl comes upon his face. Uchiha and rejection do not belong in the same sentence. And Naruto? Tired of one night stands? Sasuke just cannot believe it.

He eyes the washer in disappointment. Sakura and Ino got to have sex on it – why can't he?


The Plan, Attempt #3:

There is no attempt. The rejection is still fresh.

"What happened to you?"

Sasuke does not reply, slouched on the living room couch. Evening is coming, and with the guests dwindling, a lot have moved inside and are just relaxing. Sasuke is one of them, and unfortunately, Sakura has noticed him.


She then moves closer to him, looking into his face. Not even seconds later, a look of understanding comes upon her face.

"That's the pouty face. Naruto rejected you, didn't he?"

"Yes. Happy?"

Sakura raises an eyebrow at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm not surprised he did. Don't get snappy with me just because you can't get laid."

"He said he's bored of one night stands," Sasuke murmurs, watching as Sakura sits down next to him. She looks shocked by his words.

"Is that what he told you?"

Sasuke immediately sits up straight, staring intently at Sakura. "Is he lying?"



"You owe me," she states. "But I wonder what…"

She then begins to inspect her fingernails, pretending to be bored. The action is meant to irritate him.

Unfortunately, it really does. This is a matter of having sex or not having sex with the most attractive man on the planet – which is a pretty damn important thing, actually.

"What do you want?" he asks, a little disgusted with himself. He has never been so desperate in his life. Honestly, if it were anyone else, he probably would have walked away and not looked back.

But that ass, and generally everything about Naruto attracts Sasuke. He has to have him.

Sakura stares at him for a moment before smiling. "You go wedding dress shopping with me."

Sasuke feels his heart drop in his chest. Small sacrifices, Sasuke. Small sacrifices.

"I don't want Ino to see the dress until the actual ceremony, so she can't go with me. Oh, by the way, you're a bridesmaid."

Sasuke cannot resist the frown from forming. "I'm a male."

"It's a lesbian wedding, Sasuke. Obviously it's going to be a little unorthodox, and besides, you won't be the only guy up there. I couldn't think of another name, and considering you're acting like a little girl right now, I think the name is appropriate."


"Okay, okay!" She laughs then, but Sasuke does not think any of this is funny. She must be getting a kick out of this.

"So…Naruto definitely is not bored of one night stands. The reason he shot you down is because…well…you know how you and I are really good friends?"

Sasuke appears confused. "Yes."

"Well, Naruto definitely knows how deep our friendship is. He feels like messing around with you isn't worth getting between us, because you and him are both close to me. But, he does like you; I got to talking to him at some point. He was going on and on about how attractive you were and how if he had the chance, he would have sex with you in a heartbeat-"

"He did?"

"Yes Sasuke," she says. "Well, my main problem with you was the possibility of you playing him. But, he wants to have sex with you too, even if you've had several partners. Anyway, in conclusion, he would love to get nasty with you, but he thinks it isn't worth it because he doesn't want to make things awkward between the three of us-"

"You do not believe that, do you?"

"Of course I don't believe that!" Sakura exclaims, hitting his shoulder. "Who do you think I am? Honestly, if you guys got into a serious long-term relationship, I still wouldn't care; it doesn't affect our relationship. It's just that Naruto has a really big heart, and he will avoid a potentially awkward situation like that if he can."

"What did you say to him, after he said that?"

Sakura shrugs. "A guest interrupted our conversation. Next thing I knew, he was gone, so I couldn't tell him that I don't care what he does with you. Ever since, I've been running around, so I didn't get the chance to clear things up."

Sasuke lets Sakura's words sink in before he speaks again.

"He is an idiot."

"And you've got your issues, but we're still friends," she grumbles. "Look, he has a big heart and good intentions. I am really flattered he considered how he would affect us before jumping into a situation. He thinks with his brain, not with his penis like you do."

Honestly, Sasuke should be offended by her, but he is not. All he can think about is that he actually does have a chance, which in turn probably makes him the happiest person at this party. Of course, he is in shock that Naruto so effortlessly lied to him (Sasuke is usually pretty good about sensing those things), but now with the truth out…

There is a very likely chance he will have the blond before leaving.

"Besides, I'm telling you all this because you look like someone just killed your family," Sakura continues dryly. "As much as I love seeing any kind of emotion in you, I don't want your moodiness ruining the atmosphere."

"Then I'm leaving. Where is he?"

Sakura smiles. "You know, I should ask for another favor…"

"Stop bullshitting, Sakura."

"Feisty." She clucks her tongue, but a huge smile is on her face. Sometimes he thinks she purposely tortures him, just because she finds it hilarious.

"I just saw him go down the hallway, towards the bathroom. Needed to wash his hands."

Sasuke is gone in a second.


The Plan, Attempt #3: Redo


Sasuke waits outside of the bathroom door, his back resting against the wall behind him. The hallway is deserted, the only sounds being Naruto whistling in the bathroom.

When the blond walks out, he does not even have a chance to make a sound before Sasuke is on him, pressing Naruto against the doorframe. The blond opens his mouth to protest, but Sasuke catches his lower lip with his mouth, effectively shocking Naruto into silence.

Sasuke gazes into blue eyes as his tongue runs across the flesh, sucking his lower lip with fervor. He pulls away a few seconds later, taking it as a good sign that Naruto has not punched him in the face.

"Are you ready to tell me the truth now?"

The blond looks at Sasuke in confusion. "What?"

"I heard from someone that one night stands aren't a problem and that you would be more than happy to have one with me."

"Sasuke, what are you smoking-"


One name, and the blond effectively shuts his mouth. His eyebrows furrow and he licks his lips.

"She told you everything?"

"Yes, and she does not mind that we hook up. She really could care less, so forget anything about potentially ruining friendships or any other dumb crap like that."

"You're a bastard, you know that? Sorry if I care – Sakura has known you a lot longer than I have."

"I appreciate the thought. If you don't believe me, ask her. I'll wait here, if you like."

Naruto crosses his arms. "Fine, bastard; what if I did?"

"Go ahead."

Despite Naruto's words, he does not go off to find Sakura. In fact, he remains standing against the doorframe, Sasuke's body still trapped against him. Sasuke's hands slide onto the blond's hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on the strong hipbones he feels through the swim trunks.

"Aren't you going to find her?" Sasuke says into the blond's ear, enjoying the shiver that runs through Naruto's frame.

"I don't think I have to. I believe you," Naruto says, letting his own hands shyly wander onto Sasuke's arms. For Sasuke, those words and those hands are definitely permission, so the next thing Naruto knows, the bathroom door is shut, they are locked in and he is pressing Naruto against the sink, Sasuke's lips devouring his throat.

Naruto is his now.

"You could've warned me," Naruto grumbles, but he does not seem too agitated – the blond's hands become a bit more aggressive, latching onto Sasuke's hair and consequently making the paler of the two smirk in victory.

Oh, yes. He will be getting laid today.

"I've wanted you this whole party, and with how you're responding, you have too…" Sasuke says, leaning his head back. Naruto responds by attacking Sasuke's own neck, his lips and tongue messily sucking everywhere. Those lips feel delightfully sinful, and now the blond is reaching his ear and damn Naruto is good at that…

"I believe you're telling the truth about Sakura, but if you're playing any funny tricks, I can guarantee Sakura and I will rip you a new one."

Sasuke pulls blond locks back harshly, causing Naruto to wince. He bites the other male's earlobe, drawing out a rugged moan.

"You're really not in any position to make threats now, Naruto."

"Screw you," the blond says, but it is only half-hearted; Sasuke can tell the blond is now too caught up in pleasure to really feel anything else. Those bright blue eyes have taken on a darker shade, filled with so much lust that it makes him even sexier.

"Hn," Sasuke breathes out before capturing the blond's lips, engaging him in a violent struggle between tongues. The kiss is not pretty, but it is passionate and his tongue feels amazing sliding against Naruto's.

"I can't believe I'm giving in so easily to this," Naruto comments, right after breaking their kiss. His lips are wet and swollen, ready to be kissed again. "But it's been a while and you're really hot."

"I'm not forcing you," Sasuke says, his hands clutching at the bottom of Naruto's shirt and lifting it up over his head. Why did the blond put it back on again in the first place – he was fine with his chest nude.

He stares intently at Naruto's now exposed nipples, immediately becoming harder at the sight of Naruto's piercing. He gives in to temptation, sucking the jeweled nub with wet swipes of his tongue. Naruto groans very loudly, encouraging Sasuke to suck harder.

"Shit, Sasuke…"

Sasuke has never heard his name sound so good before.

"Are you always this loud?" Sasuke teases, but really, he does not mind those moans in the least bit.

"Fuck you, Sasuke," Naruto breathes out before spinning Sasuke around, now pressing him against the sink. He engages them both in another kiss, his hands buried in Sasuke's soft locks. The kiss is fierce, so fierce that Sasuke needs it to go further. He grabs Naruto's hand and places it over his clothed crotch, eagerly grinding against the blond's palm.

Naruto gets the message; he cups the prominent bulge there, massaging it with such expertise that Sasuke's eyes roll into the back of his head. The action makes Naruto chuckle, and soon enough Sasuke's zipper is undone and he is pulled out. A hot hand wraps around him, stroking slowly but firmly.

Sasuke's back arches against the hard sink, but he pays no mind to the discomfort; the way Naruto's hand is moving, his fingers pressing against his tip, his thumb sliding across the slit…there could be a war outside and Sasuke would not care.

"So…how far are we taking this?" the blond whispers in Sasuke's ear, gripping him a bit more firmly. Sasuke chuckles, his hand moving to Naruto's ass and squeezing a cheek tightly.

He has been dying to do that all day.

"I could bend you over right here…" As emphasis, Sasukes removes Naruto's hand and spins the blond around, quickly bending him over the sink. Looking into mirror, Sasuke feels immense satisfaction; his hand is buried in Naruto's hair, his dick is sliding between Naruto's thighs and the look on the blond's face…

His tanned face is dusted with a rosy flush and his lips are thick from the intense kissing. He looks even hotter now.

"And do what?" Naruto asks. Sasuke presses himself closer, leaning over Naruto's bare back. He bites the shell of his ear.

"Fuck you, of course," Sasuke murmurs, pushing his hips harder against Naruto's clothed bottom. His erection feels good trapped between Naruto's thighs and he can only imagine what it feels like inside Naruto.

"What makes you think you're topping?" Naruto says, scowling.

"Simple – I always top."

"Not today, bastard."

Sasuke ignores Naruto, choosing instead to pull down the blond's swim trunks. The rush of cool air makes Naruto gasp, but it quickly turns into a breathy moan as Sasuke kneads the blond's ass, spreading his cheeks apart to view everything the blond has to offer.

That asshole is just begging to be taken. Watching Naruto flush even darker in the mirror, Sasuke smirks.

"You have a condom, right?" Naruto asks.

"Of course," Sasuke replies, sucking Naruto's neck again. This elicits another moan, and Sasuke cannot help by slapping Naruto's ass in response, causing the blond to gasp.

He soothes the reddened skin with a kiss before turning Naruto around, pressing their erections together. He slides his bare skin back and forth, relishing in the sensation of beautiful Naruto against him and making noises that make Sasuke want to burst. Before long, Sasuke grabs the blond by his thighs and lifts him up onto the sink, enjoying the feeling of his smooth skin under his hands. He positions Naruto so that the blond is leaning back a little, his head against the mirror and back curved so his asshole his open for display.

Sasuke then takes the blond's hand, immediately taking two fingers in his mouth. He watches smugly as Naruto's eyes become half-mast, knowing that the movements of his tongue are affecting the blond. With a glance to Naruto's crotch, Sasuke knows he definitely is turning the blond on; his erection stands proudly, already looking ready to burst.

He sucks those fingers for a while, watching as Naruto's eyes become more glazed and his dick become fuller. When he is finished, Sasuke gives a last flick to those fingers and then he commands:

"Prepare yourself."

"I said I'm topping," Naruto says, pouting his lips. That face is irresistible; he quickly engages Naruto in another kiss, his tongue immediately brushing past teeth and tasting everything Naruto has to offer. When he pulls away, Naruto is breathless.

"Fine. I will prepare you then."

"As long as I fuck you after this. Otherwise, we're not doing this."

No fucking way.


Naruto does not wait for a response; eager to continue their activities, he licks his lips and brings his fingers down to touch his hole. Sasuke is entranced, watching as a first finger disappears slowly, all the way to the knuckle. The finger pumps in and out, and Sasuke momentarily cannot breathe.

Looking into the blond's eyes, those blue irises catch him into an intense gaze. Moans begin to spill from Naruto's lips and Sasuke is just about done with this foreplay.

Usually, he extends it all a little bit, but he has waited all day for this. Naruto's body is begging to be filled and Sasuke is at his limits.

"You like this?" Naruto asks breathily, inserting a second finger. It slides in easily and Sasuke cannot help but think that Naruto has definitely done this several times.

"Sasuke, do you like this?" Naruto repeats. Sasuke nods, speechless.

"If you want it, I fuck you after. No ifs, ands or buts."

Sasuke does not respond. They will see about that.

With the way Naruto is fucking himself anyway, he could not stop Sasuke from doing him, even if he wanted to. Naruto seems to be enjoying this too much and the moment he unravels, Sasuke is going to take him and Naruto is going to beg for it.

The moment comes sooner rather than later; when a third finger is finally inserted, Naruto's hips begin to buck and he starts getting louder. That is Sasuke's cue; he takes Naruto's hand, drawing it away from his entrance. The blond whimpers and Sasuke smirks.

For all Naruto talks about topping, he sure seems to be enjoying where he is right now.

Sasuke pulls out the condom, ripping it effortlessly. He takes off his pants then quickly rolls the item on himself, followed by angling Naruto just right. He locks eyes with the blond, waiting for the go.


With a nod of affirmation, Sasuke pushes in, not stopping until he is all the way to the hilt. He hears Naruto grunt, but he pays no mind; he will give him time to adjust, despite it being almost impossible to not start fucking Naruto right now.

He is tight and hot, and the way Naruto is perspiring right now is so sexy. He has waited for this feeling, his dick buried in Naruto since he first saw him. If Naruto does not tell him to move soon, he is going to die.


"Un…just…okay…you can move…"

He does not need to be told twice; it starts with shallow thrusts as Sasuke tries to loosen up the blond a little bit. As his passage becomes more lubricated, the thrusts turn deeper and faster and Naruto is squirming in need. He is screaming for more and soon enough, slaps of skin against skin are loudly audible in the room. The blond is a moaning mess, his hands latched onto Sasuke's arms and his nails digging into skin. The pain is welcome; Sasuke's adrenaline makes him feel nothing but pleasure and the heat surrounding him right now is completely overwhelming his senses.

"You like this?" Sasuke asks his partner, using Naruto's former words against him. Naruto digs his fingers in harder.

"Maybe – but I'd prefer more."

That is all Sasuke needs to hear. Soon enough, they are everywhere; one moment, Naruto is bent over the sink, his head flown back as Sasuke takes him roughly from behind. The way his ass moves makes Sasuke lose it; his grabs those hips harshly and pounds into him, pushing that ass back against him so Naruto has nowhere to go.

The next moment, Naruto pulls away and he commands Sasuke to sit down. Soon enough, the toilet lid is down and Naruto is bouncing eagerly on top of Sasuke, the paler man's mouth latched onto the blond's throat. Naruto's erection bounces with each thrust, and Sasuke cannot help but think this is best anyone has ever ridden him in his life. The way Naruto moans shoots straight to his dick, making him even more impossibly harder. Naruto is so vocal, but Sasuke absolutely loves it.

Their last position is down on the floor, laying on top of the bathroom rug. Sasuke is on top, driving Naruto's back into the floor below him. His dick is so hard that Sasuke is completely incoherent; he is moaning too, his thrusts fast and unmerciful. Naruto's legs are wrapped around him tightly and his fingers are clutching the rug beneath him, needing anything to hold onto in order to handle those sharp thrusts.

"Sasuke…oh fuck shit Sasuke…!"

"You coming?" Sasuke asks breathlessly. The sex is so good, it is so hard to stop – but he needs to come, and he absolutely refuses to until Naruto is coming all over him first.

"Soon, soon, soon, soon…"

And Naruto just cannot talk anymore, arching into Sasuke's touch. When Sasuke feels the telltale clenching of Naruto's asshole around him, he knows the blond is about to become undone.


"I know," Sasuke says, quickly taking Naruto's mouth into his in an effort to silence him. The blond has been loud enough, and he knows he will probably scream. As his tongue enters Naruto's mouth, initiating the most intense make out session Sasuke has ever had, Naruto moans loudly and he is releasing, coating Sasuke's chest and stomach.

Sasuke's last thrusts are intense and desperate; when he comes, he cannot help a low moan, loving the sensation of Naruto tight around him.

When he is finally finished ejaculating, Sasuke immediately collapses on top of the blond, letting himself soften in Naruto's ass. The sexual high is coming upon him and fast. He cannot move, the sweat cooling on his skin feels incredible and Naruto's kisses on his neck leaves tingles.

After all that…

That had to be the best sex of his whole damn life.

As Sasuke begins to pull away, Naruto's legs clench harder around him. Sasuke raises an eyebrow at the man before him.

"Don't pull out yet," the blond commands. "In fact, don't move at all."

"You came all over me. It's drying and it's uncomfortable."


Then Naruto lets him go, groaning as Sasuke's organ leaves him. When Sasuke goes to throw the condom away, Naruto has gotten up and is using some toilet paper to clean whatever has dripped onto himself.

As Sasuke opens his mouth to talk to Naruto, an insistent banging comes upon the bathroom door.

Well, shit.

It is at that moment that both Sasuke and Naruto register just exactly where they are, and they both hope that is just a guest who really needs to use the bathroom.

"Are you guys having sex in my bathroom?!"

Of course they would not be that lucky. Naruto mouths 'oh shit' to Sasuke, the both of them immediately recognizing Sakura's voice.

"Well, I think we're going to die," the blond comments dryly, right before Sakura kicks her door, her strong leg effectively breaking the lock and slamming the door open. This leaves the two nude men in front of a red-faced, infuriated female.

"What. The. FUCK…!"

Despite her anger and her fist about to land on his face, all Sasuke can think is:

That sex was so damn worth it.


One Month Later

Music from Sasuke's childhood blares through his ears, resulting in one glass of empty beer and another on the way. However, he cannot be too mad; Sakura is having the time of her life on the dance floor, her wedding gown and the glow of being 'just married' making her one of the most beautiful people at her and Ino's wedding reception.

She better be one of the most beautiful – Sasuke endured four hours with her to help pick her dress.

He feels an odd sense of déjà vu, sitting in a corner with alcohol while everyone else laughs and socializes. This reminds him of the engagement party, except now the location is definitely more formal, he has not flashed his penis and Naruto is nowhere in sight.

Sasuke has not seen the blond in a month; subsequently, he has not had sex in a month either. That is not to say he has not tried, but no one's skin was tan enough, their voices not sexy enough or their eyes never the right shade of blue.

This has never happened to Sasuke before, so it took some time for him to realize that for the first time in his life, he wants to get to know someone. Of course, if he knew this at the time of meeting Naruto, he would have asked for the blond's number. Unfortunately, with his one-time-policy rule, he never asked and so he has been out of contact with the attractive man for a month.

And, of course, he is nowhere to be found at the reception. Sasuke was hoping to see Naruto here.


When the second beer is downed, a familiar Neji walks up to him. This really is the engagement party all over again.

"Hello, Sasuke."


"How are you enjoying yourself?"

Sasuke grunts before looking at Sakura again, watching as she dances in her elegant gown. The song has changed to something slower, so she and Ino are pressed against one another, gazing into each other's eyes with large smiles on their faces. Ino looks rather pretty too; her gown is just as beautiful and her hair is put up into an elegant bun.

"They are a rather stunning couple."

Sasuke does not respond to Neji's comment, but he thinks the same.

"Speaking of which, I'm surprised you're not with Sakura's friend."

Sasuke lifts an eyebrow. "What friend?"

"The one from the bathroom incident at Sakura's engagement party."

Somehow, Sasuke is not surprised Neji brings that up; what he and Naruto did in the bathroom spread around at that party really fast. Those who do not know what happened have to be completely oblivious. In fact, Sasuke left that day with a black eye, while Naruto got the special treatment and was just yelled at.

"Why would I be with him? He is not even here."

"Quite the contrary," Neji says. "He's in the lobby."

It has to be Sasuke's lucky day. How has Neji spotted the blond and he has not?

No matter – Sasuke immediately stands from his seat, excusing himself. He does not notice the quirk of Neji's mouth, threatening to reveal a smile.

"Hopefully they do not have sex with so many people around again. I might as well warn Sakura."


When Sasuke finds Naruto out in the lobby, he is talking to several strangers in a corner. Sasuke does not even attempt to be polite; he grabs the blond's hand, drags him to the men's bathroom and locks the door.

Sasuke does not even think before he says:

"I want you. Give me your number."

Naruto just makes a stupid expression. Sasuke then realizes that he has probably approached this the wrong way; that is not the way to ask someone out. He did not even say hello.

Okay, so maybe he is not so good at making dates. He has a lot of finesse when it comes to seducing, but dates? He never gets to the point of wanting someone enough for a date, so he has little to no experience at all.

"Are you asking me out?"

"What does it sound like?"

"You suck at it," Naruto states bluntly. Sasuke refrains a wince. "And I thought you were a one-time shebang kind of guy anyway."

"I thought so too," Sasuke grumbles. His response elicits a smile from Naruto.

"I guess I'm special."

"Don't push it," Sasuke says, but they both know that what Naruto says is true. The blond laughs.

"You know, I saw you here at the party, but I figured you probably wouldn't want to see me-"

Why would he not want to see this beautiful man? Naruto is stupid-

"-because you're really not supposed to socialize with one night stands."

It is at that moment that Sasuke realizes that all this time, Naruto has known Sasuke has been here. He avoided him, like a good one night stand should, but the thought just makes Sasuke frustrated. Naruto is the cause of his lacking sex life,because he is the most interesting and sexiest person Sasuke has ever met.

Shit, he is whipped. No wonder Sakura became friends with Naruto so fast – it is impossible not to be attracted to him in some way or another.

Well, he is here now, so Sasuke is going to show Naruto what he has been missing.

"So, do I get that number?" Sasuke asks, his voice becoming husky. Naruto leans back against the sink, tapping his chin.

"Possibly. Say, I never got to top last time, so I'm thinking no number until you fulfill your end of the bargain."

Sasuke's stomach drops. "What bargain?"

"I said we only get to have sex as long as I top after."

"I never agreed to that," Sasuke bites out. Naruto rolls his eyes.

"You went through with it, though. So that means you agreed."

Naruto, do not do this.


"Choices, Sasuke…"

Oh fuck – it has been a month, anyway. Remember, small sacrifices.

To his luck, Naruto knows the moment he gives in. Sasuke has never really bottomed much in his life, give or take a few drunk occasions (it was college; what happens in college stays in college), so needless to say, after intense kissing and the quick removal of clothing, when Naruto's finger goes in that place, he feels a little nervous.

Next thing he knows, the nervousness is completely gone and his body is moving buck wild with Naruto's, clawing the blond's back as his partner forcefully drives into him. Bottoming definitely is not so bad-


"Not complaining now, are you Sasuke?" Naruto moans into his ear, accentuating each word with a particularly rough thrust. Sasuke's thighs begin to quiver, and he throws his head back as the blond bites the junction of his neck and shoulder, ready to come-

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Again? Is this Sasuke and Naruto? Open the damn door-!"

Naruto immediately halts. Sasuke does not particularly like the sudden stop, so he pinches the blond's buttcheek to get his attention.

"You started, you finish. Forget her."

And so Naruto does, finishing up quickly so they both can orgasm. And just like last time, right when the sex ends, Sakura is banging on the door. She then kicks the door down, and just like last time, she punches Sasuke in the face.

Unlike last time, she grabs them both by their nice suits, drags them outside in the heat and throws them down on the curb, forbidding them from entering the venue for an hour. She says if they need water, they better 'walk their dirty, disrespectful asses to the convenience store'.

Now, sitting outside for at least fifteen minutes now, Sasuke feels his nose start to burn. That sun is hot and he did not anticipate being kicked out of a wedding, looking homeless on a curb. Ino came out once to offer them wedding cake, not in the least bit angry, but Sakura found her and threatened to ban her wife from the wedding, too.

Looking at Naruto, with the blond's number now in his phone, Sasuke questions if all of this – the sex, getting to know Naruto, being banned from a wedding – is worth it.

When the man looks at him, eyes sparkling and mouth curved into a smile, Sasuke resists the twitch of a smile.

"Bottoming wasn't so bad, now was it?"

"Shut up."

"It's okay. I think I'd prefer being bottom with you, anyway."

Oh yeah.

Definitely worth it.

The Conclusion:

He is all yours.