Beneath the Lettering
After about an hour of tears and sadness, an hour of listening to Prim and Rory flirt. After an hour of talking to the girls and watching the boy's plane leave, Prim and I head home. We bid our goodbyes and leave. Prim drives because I'm blinded with tears. I watch as the landscape flashes with buildings. It feels like no time has pasted when we reach home. But I know that's not the case.
"Home sweet, home" Prim mumbles pulling the keys out of the ignition. The navy blue house loomed over me as if mocking me. I don't know why I feel that way but I just do. As if its bragging with the fact that I will be confined with in its doors and will mope with the memorize of Peeta till he returns. The small garden Peeta and I had planted bursts with color and beauty. Spring is at it strongest. Summer would soon arrive.
I slump out of the car and through the doors of the house. Slowly I climb the stairs and enter the Master bedroom. I plop down on the bed. I run my palm across the soft cotton sheets. My mind runs crazy. Memorize flash as if I were watching a movie that projected all around the room. Every emotion becomes more amplified when you're pregnant. Questions pile up in my mind. But only one sticks out. What do I do now? This very question surfaces after every deployment. The question that sinks deep, penetrating deep into my core. Everything in me rejects the answer that my brain supplies. Try and forget. Let him go. The same answer every time. I wrinkle my face in discussed. Suddenly my body starts to fell heavy. My eyelids begin to droop. I slowly slip under the inviting blankets. Slowly my mind quiets and I drift off into the darkness of my dream.
Pebbles. A giant pile of pebbles sits in front of me. My brain screams at me. Peeta! Have to save Peeta! My fingers reflexively dig into the heap. The farther my hands dig the rougher the pebbles get. Soon the pebbles aren't pebbles anymore but rocks, Deeper and deeper the larger and larger. My hands screams with pain, forcing me to stop and examine them. My nails are chipped and tore to shreds; my fingers and palms are gashed and bleeding heavily. But I don't care and plunge back into pile of rocks. I throw rock after rock over my shoulders. Shoving smaller stones out of the way. Grunts and gasps echo out of the pile. My fingers fly faster and faster. Griping stone after stone till my fingers catch on a new substance. Cloth.
"Peeta!" I scream. I pull at the rocks covering his face and arms. "Peeta!" Another groan. As I uncover his face I see the scrapes and gashes. Blood plasters his hair to his forehead, clumping them together. His clothes torn to shreds, blood stains the green camo coloring. Nothing fills me with more joy than seeing his eyes slowly flutter open. The brilliant blue that comfort me so. But what fills me with more horror is seeing the blue start to fade in to a murky grey. I lift his head and place it on my knees. I brush all his hair out of his eyes.
"Kat" he whispers.
"Pete" I say a tear running down my cheek. His eyes droop just the slightest. And a moan escapes his lips.
"I don't know how long I have…" he trails off.
"No, you'll be fine," It's more for me than for him.
"I love you," He says. His voice shows how weak he is. "You need to take care of the baby-"
"Don't say your goodbyes. You're going to live. You're going to be fine."
"But…" He stampers "I can't hold on much longer." His eyes flutter open and close, over and over again.
"No, Peeta, Just-just look at me." I say and he shifts gazes to me.
"Kat, live…live for the baby, Live for me." He mumbles as his eyes falter again.
"But Peeta, I cant live without you, I can't do this without you." I say placing my hand over my stomach.
"You'll- you'll have a part of me." He stutters.
"But I need you, Peeta. Please just try and hold on. Peeta please. I don't want to lose you." I stamper.
"You'll never lose me." He reassures. "I'll always be with you. Always and forever."
"I cant. Please, don't give up. Please." I plead. His eyes shut completely. "No, No, No, comeback Please! Peeta! Don't leave me!" I grip his hand and hold it tight. I grip his head to my chest. "I cant live without you! PLEASE!" I scream to the gates of heaven and hell.
"Rub some dirt on it…" It comes out so faint I can barely make it out. " I will always be there. I love you."
"I love you too," I whisper. I lean down and place a small kiss on his lips. I keep my face close to his. I feel his last shaking breath escapes his lips.
I grip the sheets next to me. Pulling them toward me as if they would defend against yet another nightmare, as if they would reveal Peeta. But no, Peeta is half way across the world. A month had pasted since he left but the nightmares haven't ceased. My grip on the sheets is so hard that when I let go my fingernails leave small crescent shaped imprints in my skin. Cold sweat covers my entire body and makes my shirt cling to my skin. The sun shines though the window blinding me. I roll over and yank the small sticky note of my bedside table. Writing a sticky note had become a habit in High school. The note would just tell me what I had to do so I wouldn't screw up and forget about something. With out the little yellow slip I would feel lost and confused throughout the day. In small messy writing were my instructions of the day.
Stop by the store and pick up:
1st Ultrasound 11o'clock (Joined by Annie)
Lunch with Annie and Bay
Buy bigger clothing
Make sure to get two extra pictures from the doctor for Mom and Peeta
Mention Nausea to doc.
I nod my head lightly and look up at the clock. 9:53. I suck in a deep breath and pull myself out of bed. As I sit up the familiar rush of nausea fills my senses and I dash to the bathroom. I grip the porcelain bowl and wince as the acid tasting substance leaves my lips. After a few minutes I pull myself up off the ground. I brush my teeth and take a shower. The warm water soothes the ache in my back and feet. It had become a daily routine. Wake up, vomit, take a shower, go to work, or go hang out with the girls. I hated it. I miss the spontaneous events that Peeta would talk me into. I miss be free. But now he is far away and I'm here in a fat suit I cant takes off.
I step out of the shower and sloppy towel dry myself. Draping the towel around me, a small portion of my bump sticking out. I slowly walk to the closet shared between Peeta and I. The room is filled with the smell of Peeta. Our clothes line the walls of the walk-in closet; Mine on the left his on the right. I run my fingers across the line of soft worn fabrics. For the past few weeks I have been wearing Peeta's shirts because all have mine have far to tight and uncomfortable. Why I haven't gone and gotten new larger clothing? Either because my complete new found laziness or the fact that I'm too stubborn to go to the mall and would much rather have an excuse to wear Peeta's. My fingers land stop o Peeta's old grey hoodie. It radiates the smell of him. It used to be his favorite shirt and my favorite shirt to steal. I pull on undergarments, jeans with an elastic band around the waist, and the old grey hoodie on top of that. I return back into the bathroom and brush my hair and braid it back into its normal braid. As I grab my iPhone and exit the room I hear the faint sounds of music coming from down stairs. As I quietly step down the stairs I slip my head around the corner in to the kitchen, where the music was coming from. There I see Prim dancing around the Kitchen to 22 by Taylor Swift. She throws her arms up and sings along with the song.
"Yeah we're happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time
It's miserable and magical oh yeah
Tonight's the night when we forget about deadlines, it's time
Uh oh, I don't know about you but I'm feeling 22
Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you
You don't know about me but I bet you want too
Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we're 22, 22" She sings.
I decide to reveal myself. I walk in front of the doorway and lean up against it. And slowly clap. I must have startled her because she jumps and wraps her arms around her chest.
"I didn't know you were there," she mumbles running her hand though her hair.
"That was great," I say a huge smile across my lips. "Shouldn't you be heading off to school?"
"Soon," she says turning of the music. I sit at the counter and pull an apple out of the bowl that sits on the counter. "Who's taking you to your ultrasound?"
"Annie," I say taking a bit out of the apple. "Then her, Bay and I am going to lunch."
"Okay, Would you like me to take you to the store later? We're running low on some things." She says opening the fridge.
"Sure and we'll need to stop at the mall," I say. She look over at me with a interested look on her face. "Peeta's clothes aren't going to fit forever." She nods.
We make small talk and eat breakfast together. After about 30 minutes she looks at the clock on her phone.
"I should get going, don't want to be late." She says standing up from her spot next to me. I nod. "Love ya, Kat." She kisses my forehead and heads toward the door swinging her backpack over her shoulder.
"Love you too, Prim", I say. She waves and shuts the door behind her.
With the sound of her shutting the door one thought arises in my head.
A/N Sorry for the long wait! I had it and the chapter for my other story, Behind Hidden Glass, Almost done them my laptop crashed. So I had to restart on my sister's laptop. Also I'm going to be gone for a week for vacation then two days after that I'm leaving again on another trip so getting another chapter done in that time would be sketchy, if anything I'll get a head start. Thx for the awesome reviews! Oh and most chapters are about this size unlike the first one. That I was just trying to shove all the info I needed in it. So yeah… Have a wonderfully fantastic day!