FLASHBACKS MISTER GARRISON FIGHTS BACK

BY SHADOWGATE

…...

Stan is sitting in the classroom with Mister Garrison for an after school detention.

"Mister Garrison I'm truly sorry for causing such a disruption in your class. Oh it's just that in the past 24 hours so much has happened. Kenny laughed so hard when Cartman's mom spanked him bare in public that his heart gave out. Cartman was irritating me in class and well here's my written assignment."

Stan handed Mister Garrison his paper with the sentence "I will not disrupt the class" written 50 times.

Mister Garrison couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Eric Cartman being publicly spanked.

Stan commented "Craig Tucker avoids hanging out with us because so much radical stuff happens."

Mister Garrison stated "well I can't say I blame him considering the trouble you all get into sometimes."

Stan asked "speaking of trouble where did Mister Slave go?"

Mister Garrison answered "that dirty slut and his new boyfriend are trying to get jobs here. Well the real whore wants to work here again like he did before."

Stan said "well Big Gay Al is a nice guy and he's comfortable with his sexuality. Remember the days when you were still in the closet and you weren't nice to everybody?"

Mister Garrison replied "oh I wasn't nice before I came out?"

Stan asked "remember the time Kyle's brother Ike was kidnapped by aliens?"

Mister Garrison answered "yes I wasn't nice to him at that time was I?"

Flashback to Cartman Gets an Anal Probe.

Mister Garrison goes on with his lecture "so children Christopher Columbus really knew how to kick ass."

Kyle stood up and said "Mister Garrison I have to go now."

Mister Garrison asked "what is this time Kyle do you have a worm crawling in your ass?"

Kyle said "no my little brother's been abducted by aliens."

Mister Garrison said "well you better ask Mister Hat."

Kyle replied "I don't want to ask Mister Fucking Hat I'm asking you."

Mister Garrison said "no Kyle you have to ask Mister Hat."

Kyle asked Mister Hat if he could be excused from class and the response was "no Kyle you go fuck yourself, you go fuck yourself and you die."

Mister Garrison said "I guess you'll have to take your seat Jew Boy."

Cartman commented "ha ha Mister Hat yelled at you and Mister Garrison called you a Jew Boy."

Back to Present.

Stan asked "wait is that how it happened?"

Mister Garrison said "well that's how I remember it and yes I was very rude to your little Jewish boyfriend."

Stan looked up and said "WHAT! He's not my boyfriend."

Mister Garrison said "oh wait best friend I'm sorry Stan."

Mister Garrison went on to ask "so speaking of boyfriends did your dog find one?"

Stan said "no and we've decided not to get him neutered since he's a gay dog."

Flashback to Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

Stan is leaving the Big Gay Animal Sanctuary with his dog Sparky.

"Goodbye Big Gay Al thanks for everything."

Back to Present

Mister Garrison says "now Big Gay Al and his lover are trying to get jobs here in this fucking school."

Stan commented "well Mister Slave should be able to get his job back easily."

Mister Garrison said "oh he just sent me a text message saying Principal Victoria hired him."

Stan said I remember when Mister Slave's first day.

Mister Garrison said "yes I was trying to get fired so I could sue for 25 million dollars."

Stan said "we ended up in a fucking concentration camp because of your dishonest behavior Mister Garrison."

Mister Garrison said "well you have to admit it was funny when I had my man bent over and I paddled him in front of all you kids."

Flashback to Death Camp of Tolerance

Mister Garrison yells "I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH TOM FOOLERY IN MY CLASS YOU LITTLE FUCKING BASTARDS!"

Mister Garrison starts paddling Mister Slave's ass.

Mister Garrison then yelled "WHEN YOUR PARENTS WANT TO MOLEST YOU THEN YOU SHOULD TAKE IT LIKE MISTER SLAVE IS TAKING THIS FUCKING PADDLE YOU REBELLIOUS LITTLE PUNKS!"

Mister Garrison then yelled "YOU LITTLE FUCKING DEGENERATES DESERVE TO BE GANG RAPED!"

Stan tells Mister Garrison to stop.

Back to present

Stan says "Mister Garrison had you said those things you would have been fired for sure."

Mister Garrison said "I thought paddling Mister Slave alone and telling him to take it like a bitch would have been enough to get me fired."

Stan said "well in an ordinary town it would have been but this is motherfucking South Park. People can get away with paddling their gay lovers in front of kids in this fucking town."

Mister Garrison said "well speaking of gay lovers I wonder what my former fag boyfriend is up to. Stan let's take a walk around the school and I can show you some history."

Mister Garrison and Stan walk out into the hallway.

Mister Garrison says "South Park Elementary School was built in 1970 and opened in the fall of 1971. Then I got a job here years ago and then Mister Slave got a job here. Now I want to get Mister Slave back in my bedroom."

Big Gay Al approaches them from behind and says "well that's not going to happen silly buns because Mister Slave is my man and our relationship is super."

Mister Garrison turned around and said "well Al I know how to please Mister Slave let me tell you."

Al said "well that does not matter because Mister Slave will come home with me tonight."

Mister Garrison yells "I'll whoop your big fat sissified queer ass right here Big Gay Al."

Big Gay Al says "well you just bring it on bitch!"

Mister Garrison yelled "YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE BITCH RIGHT HERE ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING FLOOR!"

Principal Victoria comes out and breaks it up and Stan puts on his IPOD and listens to Blood for Blood.

Stan smiles and thinks to himself "let gays have their rights but I don't care for gay music. Blood for Blood kicks fucking ass. Fuck tween wave bullshit!"

The End