Jane's never worried about what to wear for the past eleven years. It's been simply a matter of pulling a shirt off the hangers in his closet and teaming it with one of his three piece suits that he wears on a rota. Voila! job done. Now he finds himself in a department store trying to decide what to wear for his new life.
He'd never contemplated a life after Red John. He was either going to be dead or in prison. But as the search for Red John brought that meeting closer other feelings began to make themselves known by gently knocking on his heart. As hard as he tried to ignore them and deny their presence they picked the lock and stepped right in, hiding themselves at first in the corners but over time becoming bolder about stepping in to the light until one day they threatened to overtake.
His quest for vengeance had enjoyed supremacy over every part of him for so long. It had never had to go to battle before, to defend itself. Now here it was at war with desires that it had never encountered. Desire for a life after Red John, desire to keep the close relationship he's developed with Lisbon, to cherish it, understand it, and not lose it.
Jane couldn't say if the battle had been won and certainly couldn't declare which was the winner. It seemed more that they entered into an uneasy alliance striving for compromise where there was none to be found. Sleep was made even more elusive as he struggled to develope a new plan that satisfied vengeance and a future.
In the end he was making it up by the seat of his pants as he strove to out manoeuvre Red John who threatened to slip through their fingers once more. But a moment of brilliance and teamwork resulted in the end of Red John and his network and Jane looking at rows and rows of shirts.
He's made his peace at the graveside of his wife and child. Telling them things they already knew. That he loved them and would always love them,fiercely. That he missed them and that he was sorry for all the mistakes he'd made. Now that Red John was gone he could plead for their forgiveness and begin to forgive himself. He felt the burden of guilt and revenge lift from his shoulders and felt free to remember the happy times once more. This left just one more thing to do. Before he could chicken out he took out his phone and hit number one on his speed dial.
Lisbon was expecting the call. She knew where he was going and what he was going to do. She knew he would need her and had already planned where they would go for a quite meal and conversation to get his equilibrium back. What she didn't expect was for him to use the words 'at peace' 'new life' 'a date' She'd dropped the phone at the last one. When she picked it up she heard frantic questions of 'was she alright?' 'what was that sound?' 'was she still there?'. Somehow she managed to make her mouth work and answered,
( Nice one Teresa at sounding enthusiastic). But Jane didn't seem to notice he instructed her to dress up nice and he would pick her up at 8pm. That's how she's now standing in her bedroom with half her clothes strewn on her bed after an hour of trying things on and still no closer to deciding what to wear...and what is she going to do with her hair!
She looks at the mess and flops down on the bed. Who's she kidding she only has a couple of things that would work. Dating clothes are not items she's needed a lot of. What she's doing is distracting herself from what 'this' means. How does she feel about it and how awkward is the evening going to be? She has a feeling this could be worst idea in history.
True, they had been getting closer as the search for Red John intensified. As she looks back she realizes that although he still talked of revenge something within her must have noticed a change. She now sees that she became calmer, she was less concerned that he would go off and do something stupid, She began to sleep better at night, instead of worrying where Jane was and what he was doing.
Has she been the reason for the change and does she want to be? He's become her bestfriend does she want to make the transition to something more? Can She? Can he?! Dating Patrick Jane is something she's carefully avoided thinking about for years. He's been attached to his dead family by a heavy chain of guilt. Has he truly broken free? Able to give himself to someone else - to her? So many unanswered questions and the only thing she knows for sure is that when he asked a part of her deep within felt relief..
Authors notes: This just a two parter and the next part is the date.