Author's message: There will be two endings for this fanfic because I developed a 2nd concept when I was writing it. Do take note that nothing has been revealed about Kise's sister and that I am just using her character as the start of the story.
"Ryoko, would you consider me as your boyfriend?"
"What are you talking about, Daiki?"
"Aominecchi, do you like me?"
I wonder, what was I thinking back then?
What was I expecting from him?
Was I looking at him as "Kise Ryouta" or was I simply taking him as a replacement?
What is this painful feeling?
Why did I hurt him?
This goes a long way back…
Back then, I had this senior I really liked in 6th grade.
Her name was Kise Ryoko, a really popular girl at school.
I thought she was the one for me, after all, it was love at first sight.
Ryoko had this really beautiful smile and she was friendly towards everyone, regardless of age. She was our manager for the basketball team along with Satsuki and before I knew it, I was carrying special feelings for her. It was like a dream, going to my favourite club activity every single day and meeting the person I loved… I thought our feelings were mutual, I thought we were progressing well. I mean, she did accept my kiss… But it was all a lie. She just didn't know how to reject me at that time; Ryoko was nice to everyone and I was just one of them. She rejected me when I asked if I could be her boyfriend and I overheard the truth when she was talking to one of her friends… I thought to myself at that time, "I am such an idiot." She was my first love and since then, I told myself I wouldn't fall for anyone again. But…
That idiot appeared.
Kise Ryouta, Ryoko's younger brother who was working as a model, joined our basketball team in middle school. He was simple-minded and kept following me around… But it wasn't before long I realised that he was looking at me the same way I used to look at Ryoko, those were the eyes of someone who was looking at someone they liked.
"Aominecchi, do you like me?"
So when he confessed, I decided that it wouldn't be that bad to just accept it but…
That familiar voice made my heart stop that moment, I didn't dare to turn behind because I knew the owner of that voice. Old memories wrenched my wound open and my heart began to bleed again…
"Aneki!" (*Aneki is another term for 'older sister'.)
I could hear their voices behind me as I stood rooted to the ground… As much as I wanted to leave, I couldn't. I could hear my heartbeat counting the time going by and the stinging feeling reached my eyes before I could stop the salty liquid from leaving my eyes.
"Aominecchi! Let me introduce—"
"I- I have something on, I'll go off first!"
I had to run, I had to go, I had to leave before he saw my tears. I was a coward, afraid of seeing her again; I knew it would just make it harder for me to face Kise ever again. The both of them were so alike, it pained me whenever I saw Kise but I thought things changed when I began to think having one-on-one matches with him weren't so bad after all.
Just what do I want?
"Ryouta, was that your friend?"
"Ah, that was Aomine Daiki. Remember the person I always talked to you about?"
"Wait, it can't be the one you like is—"
That night, I left my phone alone despite the numerous calls trying to make its way through. I knew who was calling; there was only one other idiot besides Satsuki who would call continuously if I didn't pick up. I can't remember how many hours the phone was vibrating until the power went out and automatically shut down… I didn't even open the door to my room that day; I just wanted to shut the whole world out. I wanted to avoid him, so I ran away from practice, going off to a nearby basketball court but it didn't work. He came looking for me no matter how many times I avoided him and I soon knew, it was time to stop running away.
"Aominecchi, why have you been avoiding me ever since the day I confessed to you?"
"Is it because of my older sister?"
I felt his words stab my heart and I looked at him in shock.
"What did she tell you?"
"She just said you happen to her junior and that you guys sort of know each other?"
Perhaps I was still carrying a little hope but being the idiot I was, I asked anyway.
"Did she say anything else?"
As I thought, I quietly laughed to myself. What was I hoping for?
"Aominecchi, I haven't heard your answer but how do you feel about me?"
I looked at Kise, not knowing what to feel. I could take him for a replacement but inside me, something told me that I shouldn't. In the first place, I didn't know how to love or what was love since the day I decided to close off my heart.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think I have feelings towards you."
I walked away, I left him behind, I heard him sniffing, I heard his soundless cries. "I'm sorry.", that's all I can say because I don't want to love, to be loved or to be hurt any longer. My heart squeezed and I knew that was because I wasn't going to see him smile in front of me ever again… or so I thought.
The next day he came to me again. I couldn't comprehend how Kise could smile and call out to me like this but I just went along with it anyway. Then it continued, a week, 2 weeks, a month, until I couldn't take it anymore.
"What is the meaning of this, Kise? I told you I didn't have feelings for you!"
I tried to use the harshest tone I could use to reject him. Please, just give up on me… Just leave me alone.
"I'm not giving up."
"I don't have plans to date anyone… so just stop, Kise."
"Why? Why can't I love you? … Is this something to do with my older sister? You've been acting weird since the day you met her."
I just walked away, unwilling to give any answer. I didn't want to tell him about my past with Ryoko… I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't know why myself…
"Ki-chan, can I talk to you for a moment?"
Momoi came out from where she stood, listening to their conversation. She wanted to protect her childhood friend from being hurt ever again; she wasn't willing to see those days he lived like a zombie. Momoi decided it was better for Kise to know what happened back then after all…
My feelings were a mess as I faced the ceiling of my room; it was just plain, dull, boring like it had always been. But one thing that was different was my wavering feelings. How do I love? To feel loved? Or to be loved? It just wasn't something I could imagine myself doing.
These feelings I felt towards Kise… Were different from the way I felt towards Ryoko back then... It was similar but, somewhere just didn't feel right. Burying my thoughts deep into my dreams, I began to fall into silence and drifted away where no one would find me. But this silence didn't last long when a sudden knock was heard at my room door… It was weird, no one would usually look for me at my place and not everyone was allowed into my house because I told them never to let anyone looking for me in except Satsuki.
I jerked up in shock, covering out all sounds escaping my mouth. Why was he here?! Who the hell let him in— …SATSUKIIIIIIIII! I felt my head messed up in anger as I tried to pretend I wasn't in the room.
"I know you're home; I spotted your shoes at the entrance."
… Dude, could you be less smart and observant at times like these?
"Just let me talk to you, Aominecchi. I'll be off once I've finished my piece. Your mom's out now as well because Momoicchi brought her to her place."
… You had this all planned out, haven't you, Satsuki?
"Argh, come in then."
I give up. Rather than running away and dragging this, I would rather just stop everything once and for all. It wasn't a matter of facing Kise anymore; even Satsuki was beginning to worry.
"I'm sorry for what my sister did to you. I know she probably didn't think much of it but it hurt you a lot, didn't it?"
"If it's about Ryoko, I have nothing to say. You've probably heard everything from Satsuki and that's that. So, just give up on me will you?"
"I love you, and that feeling will never change. So Aominecchi, I'll make you forget about my sister. I'll make up everything she took away from your heart; I'll always be there for you."
As he muttered those words slowly becoming softer and softer, my heart skipped a beat. This guy, what is he trying to? I've said the harshest things to him, I've pushed him away and he still wants to be with me? Just how much of an idiot can he be? But I…
"Don't appear in front of me again."
"I'M TELLING YOU TO GO!"
As I flew into rage while trying to contain my conflicting feelings, I pinned Kise on the ground. Slowly everything was pouring out of the box I locked my feelings into, my face begin to twist into a look of disgust.
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE! ONCE, LIKE ANYONE ELSE, I BELIEVED IN ONLY KISSING THE ONE YOU LOVED! ONCE, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I BELIEVED I COULD LOVE. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN THAT KISS MEANT NOTHING?!"
Everything just began to crumble inside me, the words I never told anyone, not even Satsuki.
"How would you know how I felt when I decide to close off everything? How would you know how I felt when I decided never to love or be loved again? How would you know…"
I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
"How would you know how I felt when you just appeared and made me waver?"
I squeezed the last words out of my mouth and the beads of sorrow fell upon his beautiful face.
Kise opened his eyes wide, unable to believe the sight in front of him. For the first time, he saw this person breaking down right in front of him. He couldn't help but feel pain; it was only his sister but him as well who had made the person he loved hurt this much. Tears begin to leave Kise's eyes and he continued staring in shock without blinking…
"Then, let me comfort you. Let me continue being by your side…"
Yuki: I have been on a reallyyyyyyyyyyyy long hiatus, I'm sorry. I was thinking of updating during the holidays but I was just too busy due to school work and events etc. While I really want to update Red Puzzle and Love At First Sight, I decided to finish up part of the plot I came up for the new AoKi fic first.(Please forgive me for being such a crazy AoKi fan, I need to spazz on my fandom. /crey)
So for this fanfic, there will be two endings like I said because I came up with 2 concepts. One with Aomine as a seme, the other as an uke. I still like Aomine being seme more but somehow the concept of him being uke seemed to work well with this fic too so I'll finish up the two endings and upload them soon!
So I got this idea of using Kise's sister in this story since Aomine did mention before that Kise had a pretty face so I kind of got inspired that perhaps a female version of Kise would be his ideal type actually and so I directed the female Kise role to Kise's older sister. I have to explain that in this story she got the bad guy role mostly because of the character setting I used as someone who was friendly with everyone and no one was especially close with her whatnot. Ryoko is sought for by many guys, much like the school's "madonna", thus she doesn't get how Aomine feels because she was his first love and the person he gave his first kiss to. She also didn't particularly take note that he was hurt as he tried to laugh it off and pretend he was alright because he still had to see her if he wanted to continue playing in the basketball team.(since she's the manager)
The complication behind this problem is that Aomine doesn't exactly "love" her anymore but because of this one-time setback, he decides to stop loving, be loved or try to love. "The only one who can beat me is me." Yes, he's a strong guy but I'm trying to portray his vulnerable side here because I believe Aomine does have his weak moments.
Hopefully this plot isn't too messy, I got confused when I was planning it too. Yes, it's meant to be a cliff-hanger because the two separate endings change from here onwards.
Thanks for reading~